CSI:NY – The College Years

Chapter 11 – Caught Off Guard

...

"Mac, it's so good to hear your voice again" Claire stated with a content sigh, and Mac could almost see her smile through the phone.

Standing up from the couch Mac wandered over near the front door and paced back and forth with his hand rubbing his forehead; leaving Stella behind to simply watch in confusion.

"Why... why are you calling me?" he asked as he finally found his voice again.

"You called me first silly" she playfully reminded him, and he rolled his eyes and heaved a frustrated sigh.

"Claire, I can't... I can't talk right now"

"Mac, I know you're probably mad at me for not returning your calls but I just couldn't. Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to not pick up the phone every time I saw your name come up on the display? I just wasn't ready yet, and I knew I'd fall apart the moment I heard your voice..." her voice trailed off in her painful confession and Mac hung his head.

"So, why are you calling me now?"

"I don't know, I just had a really bad day and I wanted somebody to talk to and you always know how to cheer me up Mackie. Please talk to me. Just for a few minutes? I need you" she lightly pleaded.

"I... I can't" he stated in a dead whisper as he looked back at Stella apologetically.

"Mac? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong"

"Then why won't you... Wait; are you with someone right now?" She asked, feeling something had to be holding him back.

"What?"

"Who is she?"

"Who's who?"

"Who are you with right now, the reason you can't talk to me"

"Nobody" he answered in haste, then dropped his head in agony as he realized the effect that simple statement could make on Stella. Sure enough, it did and Stella stood up swiftly from the couch and marched past Mac down the hallway and into her bedroom.

"Stella, hang on a second" he called out just as she slammed the door shut.

"Mac? Who's Stella?"

"Claire, I can't do this right now, I really have to go" he stated firmly, flipping his phone shut.

He ran a hand through his hair in frustration the stared down the hallway towards Stella's room. Do I go in? Do I turn around and walk out the door to give her space? Does she hate me? Probably. Do I deserve that? Definitely. Mac's mind roamed in several different directions as he stood still, his eyes still transfixed on the closed door a few feet away. She doesn't deserve this he thought to himself, taking a step backwards and turning to head towards the front door. His hand rested on the doorknob but he couldn't find it in him to turn it. Couldn't leave her hurt and wondering how everything managed to fall apart so quickly. She needed an explanation, he owed her at least that. Finally after taking a moment to collect himself he took a deep breath he let go of the door and headed back towards Stella's room, knocking softly before entering.

"Can I come in?" he asked quietly, although he had already pushed himself inside.

Stella's sat in silence and her shoulders remained tense as she sat perfectly still on the edge of the bed. He waited for her to say something, anything but she didn't, and the room remained silent.

"Stella?" Mac dared to call out her name softly, as he reached the bed and sat down beside her, placing a hand on her shoulder. She turned her gaze away from him the moment he touched her, staring at the wall on the other side of her and Mac instantly felt his heart shatter. He cursed himself for doing exactly what he vowed not to. He had hurt her.

"Stella, I'm sorry, I..."

"Who's Claire?" Stella immediately interrupted and Mac hung his head slightly.

"She's just..."

"Nobody?" she interrupted again in a bitter tone.

"I didn't mean to say that Stella. It just kind of came out, I didn't want to get into it with her, and I guess I didn't know what to say"

"So, is she your ex-girlfriend?" Stella asked in a barely audible whisper.

"Yes" Mac managed weakly.

"You still talk to her?"

"No! I mean, yes obviously she called today but..."

"When was the last time you talked to her? And don't lie to me Mac"

"I haven't actually spoken to her since before I got to New York, that's the truth"

"And what's the rest?" Stella questioned, knowing there was more to his answer.

"I called her a few times" he admitted with a heavy sigh. "But I never talked to her, so when she called me just now, she was returning my calls"

"When's the last time you called her?"

"A week or so ago" he sighed once more.

"So, what, you'd spend all morning with me and then run off to call her?"

"What? No, it wasn't like that; it's just... Complicated"

"You missed her?"

"No!" he stated in haste and she arched a brow at him.

"No?"

"Well yes, I mean, I did but... Look her and I, we went through a lot together and I was feeling kind of lost here at first, and then I met you but I didn't think..."

"That I'd find out?" Stella snapped back, interrupting him once again.

"That's not what I was going to say"

"Well Mac you don't seem to know what it is you're trying to say, so why don't you take some time by yourself to think about it, and think about what you want"

"Stella, I know what I want" Mac tried pleading as he reached for her hand but Stella quickly folded her arms across her chest and went back to staring at the wall.

"Stella..."

"Just go Mac, I can't talk to you right now. I just want to be left alone" she whispered, and Mac stood up, deciding that maybe it was best that he let her be; at least for now.

"I'll uh... I'll call you later okay?" he managed weakly, bending down to kiss the top of her head. As suspected, he got no reaction from Stella which really just made him feel worse. He'd rather her yell and scream and throw things at him, anything but dead silence. What have you done Mac he cursed himself as he took his leave from her room.

...

Feeling completely lost Mac wandered the dark streets of the campus for hours, replaying the evenings events over and over in his head. Why didn't I just hang up the moment I heard her voice? He had asked himself over and over. He was certain Claire's phone call had been made in a moment of weakness, much like his last call had been and if he had allowed them to carry out a real conversation they both would've probably ended up regretting it sooner or later. There was no future for their relationship, he had finally accepted that and was more than ready and willing to start building for a new future with Stella. True, they hadn't known each other long and have only been together for a couple days but if he was being honest with himself, he knew he had begun falling for her the day they met.

Mac's phone began ringing in his pocket once again, breaking him from his thoughts and he pulled it out and glanced at the display 'Incoming call: Claire'. His thumb hovered over the answer button but he couldn't bring himself to press it; not tonight anyway. Instead, his thumb shifted to the right as he pressed down. 'Call ignored' was now displayed and he sighed heavily as he pressed redial once again; hoping this time Stella might answer.

"Hi, this is Stella. Leave a message!"

He rolled his eyes as the voicemail box picked up once again.

"Stella, please pick up the phone. I know I've left you like 10 messages already and frankly, I don't care because I'm not going to stop until you answer. I know what I did was profoundly stupid and I don't deserve to talk to you right now but please, just give me another chance? Please? Call me back." And with another heavy sigh he closed his phone once again and continued on his walk in no particular direction.

...

Jessica and Don had stumbled through the front door of her dorm as they remained tangled in each others arms during the 'goodnight kiss' that had quickly escalated and took them from the hallway and inside the dorm. Once inside Don twisted her around until she was pressed against the front door and he began trailing kisses down her neck and onto her collarbone; causing Jess to giggle at his aggressive advances.

"Wait a second..." she whispered, pushing him off her slightly.

"What?" Don's curiosity had been peaked as he turned to look over his shoulder to see what had caught her eye.

"That's Mac's jacket" she pointed towards the team jacket that had been tossed on the floor earlier. "And that's Stella's..." she pointed to the other jacket a few feet away, also carelessly tossed on the floor.

Looking around the room it was starting to become more and more evident that they weren't the first ones to become a little 'frisky' this evening as they also noticed the couch pillows disarranged and the coffee table slightly out of place. Jess bit her lower lip to keep from giggling again as she looked over to Don who frowned in response.

"Oh come on, Stella's a big girl" she chided him, slapping him lightly on the shoulder.

"I know but... Not exactly what I wanted to walk into. That's one mental image I don't need" he scoffed.

"Do you think they're still..."

"Jess!" Don quickly interrupted.

"Sorry" she laughed. "Maybe I should just let her know we're here"

"Please do" Don huffed.

"Stella..." Jess called out as she wandered near Stella's bedroom, noticing the door was cracked open.

"Come in" Stella whispered and Jess nodded towards Don.

Jess pushed the door open, Don following closely behind; and instantly frowned as she saw Stella sitting on the bed, almost a mirror image to what she had looked like a few weeks ago when she was beating herself up over Frankie.

"Stella, what's wrong? Where's Mac?"

"I don't know" Stella shrugged. "Check my voicemail, I'm sure it's on one of the 13 messages he left me"

"He left his jacket here? What happened that you chased him out of here so fast?"

"Maybe I was too harsh on him" Stella lamented with a soft sigh, playing with her cell phone in her hands and trying to convince herself to just call him back. "I mean he did apologize profusely, and I know he was caught in an awkward situation and maybe I jumped all over him a little too quickly" she frowned and Jess grew more confused.

"What are you talking about? What happened?"

"More like who happened" Stella countered.

"Okay, who then?" Jess became more curious.

"His ex-girlfriend" Stella huffed, rolling her eyes.

"Claire?" Don immediately questioned without giving it a second thought, quickly garnering a glare from Stella and a wondering glance from Jess.

"You knew about her?" Stella asked, her emotions now shifting from remorse to anger and betrayal.

"Um..." Don hesitated nervously, eyes darting around the room to avoid Stella's stare.

"Did you know he was calling her?" She asked abruptly and Don hung his head, knowing he wasn't getting out of this one without giving up a few answers.

"Look, you should ask Mac about this..."

"I did, and now I'm asking you" Stella insisted.

"Don, answer her" Jess chimed in.

"Well, yeah, I mean he told me about her but..."

"What did he tell you?"

"I don't know..." Don paced nervously in front of them.

"Don!"

"I don't know Stella, they dated for like forever, and she ended it before school started because of the distance thing and..." he stopped himself before getting his friend into any more trouble.

"And?" Stella pressed on and Don heaved a frustrated sigh.

"What do you want me to say Stella? You want me to tell you that he was broken up about it and was calling her because he missed her?" Don practically shouted and Jess and Stella fell silent.

"I'm sorry Stell," Don began again in a much softer tone; "but if it makes any difference to you I haven't heard any mention of her since the night of the party after our first game; after he first met you I might add; and so I didn't bring it up because I assumed it was all over with and you were so happy when you told me about you and Mac and... Stella, I'm sorry"

"Who else knows?" Stella asked in a dead whisper; not sure why it mattered to her but she knew it did.

"I don't know, Danny I think. Probably Adam?" he shrugged.

"Oh great, so half the campus probably knew except for his own girlfriend?" she huffed, throwing her hands up in the air.

"Seriously Don, I can't believe you wouldn't you tell her" Jess added, along with a stern glare.

"Okay don't you two think you're over reacting? Maybe being a little dramatic?" Wrong move Flack; he instantly cursed himself as his words were rewarded with bone chilling stares from both women. "Right, I think I'm just going to uh... go... now. Let you guys talk..."

"I think that's a good idea" Jess returned; rolling her eyes before focussing back on Stella.

Don; with his head hanging; slowly wandered back to the front door, stopping to pick up Mac's jacket along the way.

...

Mac paced back and forth at the front steps to his dorm building, emotions too revved up to go inside just yet, knowing his anxious pacing would just annoy his roommate and neighbour in the floor below. He pulled out his phone one last time, promising to himself this would be the last time; however he was once again rewarded with nothing but the voicemail message.

"Damn it" he cursed as he ended the call and shoved his phone back into his pocket.

"Don't bother, I don't think she'll be picking up that phone anytime soon, and some of that might be my fault" Don mentioned as he neared Mac.

"Don" Mac turned towards him in surprise. "What are you doing out here?"

"Peace offering?" Don asked as he held Mac's jacket out.

"Thanks" Mac nodded, taking the jacket and throwing it on. "So, I take it you've talked to Stella"

"I have..."

"So, you here to lay a beating on me then, 'cause trust me even I think I deserve it" Mac frowned.

"Not exactly" Don sighed. "Not only is my sister and your girlfriend not talking to you, but she's not talking to me either, and I'm pretty sure I can expect the same from Jessica until you and Stella get this sorted out. So for both our sakes, you gotta work this out Mac. What happened? This Claire; you're not still..."

"No, Don I'm not" Mac quickly defended himself. "She just called me out of the blue and I panicked and said the wrong thing"

"You and me both brother" Don huffed. "Why do they even let us talk under pressure like that? They know we're just going to say something stupid" he added with a slight smirk and Mac chuckled.

"Ugh, what am I going to do..." Mac sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "I gotta get her back Don. I'm done chasing the illusion of Claire, I want to be with Stella; that's the honest truth"

"Hey, I'm not the one you need to convince" Don piped up and Mac frowned.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence"

"Sorry Mac" Don sighed, noting the remorse in Mac's expression. "I can tell you care a lot about my sister, so do us both a favour and get her back alright?"

"How?"

"You'll think of something" Don assured him, landing his hand on Mac's shoulder and offering a squeeze. "Now, if you'll excuse me I have some grovelling of my own to do"

"Hey Don" Mac called out as Don had turned to leave.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks" Mac offered with a nod.

"Don't thank me, I'm sure I did more harm than good; least I could do was bring you your jacket. Good luck Mac, see you at practice tomorrow"

As Don headed back towards the street Mac finally turned back to his dorm and went inside; fearing he wouldn't be able to get any sleep, but feeling the need to at least try anyway. Crawling into his bed he closed his eyes in hopes that he could fall asleep and when he got up tomorrow morning he would make his run over to Stella's place and she might be on the steps waiting for him. He doubted it, very much, but hope was just about the only thing he had left to hang on to.

"Please forgive me Stella" he mumbled into the pillow before allowing the realm of sleep to finally take over his exhausted mind and body.

...

**Well, what did you think of the return of Claire? Think Stella can forgive Mac? And Don? Please send a review and let me know your thoughts!**


P.S. I mean no disrespect to Claire's character, and some of you might disagree about her and Mac breaking up but the whole purpose of her in this story was because I wanted Mac to still have the 'wounded heart syndrome' as he does in the show because I think it's part of what makes Mac... well, Mac. But I didn't want her to die, so instead just moved her halfway across the country ;)
And besides, you knew getting into this that it was a SMacked story, so hopefully you're not dissapointed with the Claire aspect. But in hindsight, maybe I should've gone with Peyton? lol. Anyway, I've gone on long enough. Stay tuned for more! Don't give up yet SMacked fans ;)