I'd just like to state that I mean no harm by the jokes about Scottish people/Scotland so please don't take offence if you happen to be Scottish, I found them on the internet :)
Michael, Sacha and Elliot were on their way to tescos and it was dark. Not to mention freezing cold.
"I really don't think Jac should be here." Michael stated to make conversation. He knew that the other two men would be just as concerned about the consultant as he was.
"I know, sleeping on the floor in a freezing tent, hiking all day with a heavy bag on your bag." Sacha agreed as she shook her head.
"Well, on the bright side, at least she can eat as much as she pleases without worrying about putting on weight." Elliot chuckled which made both Sacha and Michael look at the old professor and smirk. "I'm telling you, every time I see her on Darwin, she's eating something. Whether she's in our office, at the nurses station, or treating a patient, she's eating something. She's even got a cupboard next to her desk filled with all of her cravings that either an unfortunate nurse or F1 has had to collect for her at some point or another." Elliot explained cheerfully.
"Well, I suppose it's gonna be Jonny and the food keeping her happy this week." Michael concluded.
"And my entertainment of course." Sacha added and Michael looked at him in confusion. "I've got a small stand up comedy act lined up, taking the mick out of Scottish people which I'm sure Jac will love." Sacha smirked.
"And what if Jonny takes offence?" Michael queried seriously.
"He won't. As long as Jac's happy, he won't care." Sacha replied.
8pm
An hour had passed and Zosia had not yet come out of the bedroom so Guy got off of the sofa, and went to check on her. He opened the bedroom door, and found that the fire was just dying down yet the room was toasty and warm. There was only a small lamp lighting the dim room, and Zosia was fast asleep in the middle of the double bed tucked under the duvet in her pyjamas with a grey hoodie over the top and the hood pulled over her head to keep her warm. He was sure that something was up with her. Why else would she have gone to bed so early? And why was she barely eating? However, he didn't want to disturb her, so he quietly closed the bedroom door, and returned to the sofa.
"Michael, Elliot." Guy began, to get their attention. "If you go to the bedroom, can you keep the noise down; Zosia's asleep." He explained.
"Yeah sure." Michael replied.
"Yes, of course." Elliot hiccuped. Both men had had a little too much to drink. Harry and Gemma had also had a fair amount, but they weren't too tipsy.
"Right ladies and tents," Sacha began as he stood in front of the TV where everyone -except Zosia- was sitting as they all entertained themselves. His first little pun made everyone smirk before he had even begun the comedy act and Sacha had had a few beers, but he wasn't too pissed to remember his jokes. "I'd like to start off, by asking Jonny, whether you're going to take any offence if some- well all, of my jokes, are slightly mean to Scottish people?" Sacha asked Jonny who was sitting on the sofa with his arm around Jac's shoulder, both under a blanket.
"Nah, go for it." Jonny replied and Sacha cleared his throat.
"Well, Jonny. Being Scottish, you must love the summer here right?" Sacha asked.
"Er, yeah I suppose." Jonny agreed hesitantly.
"I bet it's your favourite day of the year." Sacha stated and everyone moaned as they had realised how cheesy his jokes were going to be, but nevertheless, they found it amusing and he continued. "Did you know, that a Scottish paedophile has raised a dispute with eBay. He claims the Wii Game Boy he received isn't what he was expecting!" Sacha joked and this time everyone laughed. Even Jac smirked a little. "Okay, okay, how about this one: I've been learning how to speak a new language: Scottish. It's a mixture of English and alcohol. You drink a pint and end each sentence with bastard!"
Jonny shook his head as he too couldn't contain his laughed.
"Oh, c'mon Jac. That was hilarious!" Sacha said as he noticed that Jac wasn't laughing like everyone else, though she was smiling.
"Yeah it was." Jac stated.
"So why aren't you laughing?" Sacha asked.
"Because if I do, I'll wet myself. Literally." Jac stated bluntly and everyone tried not to laugh at Jac, but she didn't care anymore.
"Anyway," Sacha began, to change the subject, "After last night's game between England and Scotland, 10,000 beer cans were left in Trafalgar Square by Scottish football fans. Both of the culprits have been arrested." Sacha concluded and everyone laughed again. "No, but seriously, the last time I saw this many footballing jokes, I was watching the Scotland squad trying to qualify." Sacha joked and everyone was clutching their stomachs' chuckling again.
"A recent study conducted by Glasgow University found that the average Scotsman walks about 900 miles a year. Another study by the Scottish Medical Association found that Scotsmen drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. This means, on average, Scotsmen get about 41 miles to the gallon. Kind of makes you proud to be Scottish eh Jonny!" Everyone was laughing until Jac interrupted.
"Hang on hang on. Firstly, the furthest Jonny's ever walked is from his bed, to his kitchen and he probably walks about 300 miles a year, if that. And 22 gallons is what? 100 litres which is about 180 pints and he has way more than that in beer alone, so Jonny's actually a lot less efficient than the average Scotsman." Jac explained.
"Jac, it's a joke." Sacha stated.
"Yeah, well not a very realistic one." Jac grumbled.
9:30pm
Sacha had stood up there and made jokes for about half an hour, and then everyone just entertained themselves by discussing general things with each other.
"Right, bed time?" Jonny queried quietly as he looked at Jac. He knew her eyelids were getting heavy and she had been repeatedly yawning. Though she just didn't want to be the first to admit she was tired, and she was grateful that Jonny had final suggested that they went to bed. She nodded and after Jonny said goodnight to everyone, the pair entered their bedroom and shut the door behind them.
After both of them had cleaned their teeth and washed their faces, they both stood, still in their clothes by the bed.
"Please tell me you're as clever as me, and you didn't bring pyjamas to make your bag lighter?" Jonny smiled.
"Yep." Jac replied. "Now get into bed." She ordered as she pulled back the duvet and slid under it on the double bed. She laid on her side and had just got comfortable, when Jonny wrapped his arms around her bump. She quickly pulled away and turned to look at him. "No... Sorry but... Just don't." Jac pleaded. Though she wasn't sure why. She wanted to snuggle up to him, but that voice -the voice that she had grown accustomed to since she was 12 years old- was telling her not to let herself get too close to him. Did she want to override the voice for once?
"Okay. Night night." Jonny whispered as he laid on his back and pulled the duvet up to his chin. The pair settled down for the night, in the same bed, but not touching each other.
"Harry. I do believe it's time we got to bed." Gemma stated. Both she and Harry had been drinking a lot of water along with their beer and wine, so hopefully, they would wake up with nothing that paracetamol wouldn't fix.
"Right, nighty night." Harry sung before he stumbled after Gemma into their bedroom. Harry pinned Gemma up against the wall, but she was too drunk to want anything otherwise. "Y'know, I reckon we could have a quickie, right here, right now." Harry whispered into her ear.
"We could, but I seriously need a wee. And we both need to get some sleep for tomorrow." Gemma stated. She had had more water than Harry, and her dinner had been more substantial so she wasn't as intoxicated as Harry was. She sat him down on the double bed, before she headed to the ensuite to empty her bladder and brush her teeth. A few minutes later, she exited to find Harry fast asleep laying on top of the duvet, but thankfully, on his side of the bed. Gemma switched the lamp off, before she slid under the cover on her side of the bed, and soon fell asleep.
"Right, I'm gonna hit the sack too." Guy announced as he got up. He quietly entered the bedroom and Zosia was still asleep, only this time she was curled up in a ball and she looked hot and slightly distressed. He saw a bottle of water on the bedside table, along with a new, unopened box of ibuprofen on the top of her hiking bag and he came to the conclusion, that with no appetite, a lack of talking, and probably abdominal cramps: she was on her period.
He was going to use the blankets that he found in the wardrobe to keep him warm in the night, but as he opened the door, it creaked loudly. He turned and unfortunately, it made Zosia stir, and then wake up.
"Sorry." Guy apologised.
"Doesn't matter." Zosia muttered she had gone to bed feeling okay, but now she had abdominal pain and she didn't want to take the painkillers whilst her father was in the room because he would then know what she was going through. Guy got the blankets, closed the wardrobe, and as he turned around, he saw Zosia glancing at the painkillers. He placed the blankets down on the sofa, picked the box of ibuprofen out of her bag and handed the box to her so that she didn't have to get out of bed.
"There you go sweetheart." Guy said softly as he also passed her the bottle of water from her bedside cabinet. He saw her cheeks flush red slightly so he grabbed his toiletry bag, and locked himself in the ensuite to give her some privacy.
Thanks for reading, please review x
When they wake in the morning, the Scottish weather kicks in and there may or may not be a blanket of snow that has fallen over night Which could lead into somebody slipping over (who in her condition shouldnt be slipping over) which may also lead to her getting lost *wink wink* , and a few snowball fights :)
