A/N: Hey guys! You know I can't help myself when there is such a perfect place for a cliff hanger! I really just can't help it.
I hope you enjoy!
Clary gulped thickly, not knowing what to do. She was trapped under this man with nowhere to go. She cried out again hoping that someone, anyone, would come out and save her. She squirmed and fought, but she was too small. She wasn't strong enough to save herself despite all the training she had had over these last few months. The man was suddenly thrown off her, freeing her from the man's wrath.
She clamored to my feet, quickly hugging whoever saved me. "It's alright." He hugged me back, rubbing my back soothingly.
"Thank you. Thank you." I buried my head into the crook of the man's neck, forgetting that she had nothing covering her lower region.
"Let's get you home." Alec drew away from her, snagging a half-destroyed blanket from nearby, and wrapped it around her hips. He put his arm around her, leading her back to her tent. "I'm going to make sure that disgusting filth called a man gets thrown into the jail. I'll be back in a moment, or would you prefer me to get my sister?" He offered softly, keeping a gentle hand on her shoulder.
"I want you to come back." She whispered, clutching at the small blanket that covered her.
"You should change while I'm gone. I'll be right back." He stammered, hurrying out the door. She shakily got to her feet before changing into her robe. She pulled the ties tight, letting it dig into her sides. She collapsed onto the fur bed, wrapping the blanket around herself.
Her mind kept flashing to the hand on her mouth and the feeling of the tearing leather. She couldn't stop thinking about the feeling of complete helplessness that washed over her.
For the first time since she arrived, she wish Jace was here. Alec came back in with a bowl of water and rag. He kneeled in front of her, wiping the dirt away from her face. She winced quietly, as he washed just above her eyebrow. She touched it gingerly, seeing the blood that now coated her fingers. She clenched her fist, as her stomach began to tremble.
"You have a small cut right there, but it should be fine." He explained softly, rubbing the blood away from her skin. "Will you be alright by yourself?" He adjusted awkwardly, and she realized that she was putting him in a strange position. Alec and her never talked, they never spent time together, so she wasn't surprised that he wasn't eager to spend time with her.
"Yeah I'll be fine." She lied, putting on a strong face.
"If you need anything, you know where my tent is." He nodded, as he made his way out of the tent.
She felt more tears pour down her cheeks, but she ignored them, as she curled up under the covers.
She wanted Jace.
OoOoO
She could not will her body to sleep, so when Jace finally returned home just before dawn, she was wide awake. He laid down in bed quietly, obviously trying not to wake her. He kept to his side, attempting not to jostle the bed as he got comfortable. She had expected him to curl up against her back like he had been, but he stayed on his side of the bed.
That wasn't what she wanted. She wanted him to wrap his thick coiling arms around her and hold her close, securing her safely against his body. He didn't though.
She rolled onto her side, facing him. His eyes were closed. She knew he wasn't asleep yet, so she wondered if he would turn over and embrace her. He didn't want to wake her. It was quite obvious. She hesitantly scooted closer to him, as she snaked her arm around his waist. He exhaled a long breath when his eyes peaked open.
"Did I wake you?" He stroked her hair, drawing her in even closer. She shook her head, squeezing his torso tighter. She never imaged she would feel this way about her husband, but for once she never wanted to let him go. "What's wrong?" He hummed, kissing her forehead lightly.
She sniffed loudly, remembering what had transpired just hours ago. She couldn't will herself to speak without sobbing, so she decided not to speak.
"Have you been crying?" His thumb moved along her cheek, wiping the salty liquid from her. She nodded silently, burying her face in his chest. "What happened?" He asked softly, sitting them both up right.
"Someone tried to rape me." She stammered, feeling her heart constrict in her chest.
"What?!" He tried to contain his raised voice, but it didn't really work. She leaned heavily against his body, wrapping her arms around him in a hug. "What happened?"
"I was dropping some food off for your father, and on my way back a man jumped me. Alec barely saved me. He was just so much stronger than me." Her lip quivered, as she looked up at her husband. She hated being weak in any sense, and in this instance her body failed her. Her body did not contain the muscle to fight off that man.
"It's alright." He finally brought his arms around her. He rubbed her back soothingly, as she let her eyes slip shut. She allowed herself to feel safe in his embrace, abandoning her fears onto him. "I'm going to kill the man who tried to touch you." He rested his chin on her head, keeping her securely against him. She didn't know why his words comforted her so much, but they did. "Go to sleep. I'll protect you." He assured her, as she tangled their limbs together.
OoOoO
She woke up in a similar position as they had been all week, which was Jace lying across her back with his whole body. She sighed contently, enjoying the warmth that radiated from his body. She didn't fight his snuggles. She accepted them whole heartedly, as he held her close to him.
She knew she would have to face reality soon. She would have to send a message to her brother and deal with the man who attacked her, but right now she could enjoy the man holding her. She figured he was going to sleep in today since he was out so late, so she decided to close her eyes.
OoOoO
Clary awoke what felt like hours later, and Jace was gone. Her chest felt a little hollow because he hadn't left her alone in bed for a while. She sniffed slightly, trying to clear her nose from the gunk that filled it the night before. Her face felt so tired and sluggish. She pushed herself into a sitting position, hearing the bird squawk next to her.
She muttered under her breath, as she got to her feet. She sat at Jace's desk, grabbing a small strip of paper. She just wanted to get this note over with.
I searched Stephen's tent. They are counting their numbers and discussing battle tactics, but everyone does that. There is still no evidence of a rebellion, and I think you are crazy to continue this belief. The only thing that is anywhere near suspicious is my husband's private meetings with his father.
She rolled up the note, quickly slipping it into the bird's little compartment before letting him go. She huffed quietly, whipping around to go back into her home. She groaned in frustration, running her hand through her hair.
She stripped out of her robe before pulling on her leathers. She glanced into their mirror, seeing that her eyes were red and puffy from the night before.
She slipped out of the tent, squinting her eyes, as they adjusted to the harsh sun light. She strode the through the camp, looking for her husband. She figured he would be on the training grounds.
He was standing in front of boys, who could be no more than ten, showing them a set of moves for their wooden swords. Clary paused a few steps away from him, waiting for him to finish. He had noticed her approach them, which distracted him ever so slightly. She wrapped her arms around her stomach, as she waited.
"Keep doing that until I tell you to stop." He ordered the boys before making his way over to his wife. "Hi," he breathed, brushing a curl from her face. "How are you doing?" He asked, smiling faintly at her.
"I'll be all right." She shrugged her shoulder, glancing away nervously from him. She felt like he was looking right through her for once, which she found to be incredibly unsettling. "You weren't there when I woke up." She whispered, turning her eyes back to his.
"I thought you needed more rest." He murmured, taking her hand in his. "I'm almost done with them, if you want to practice some archery." He offered, kissing her knuckles. She found herself grinning faintly, as her husband played with her fingers. She nodded silently, as she bit her lip. "Alright, good job today! You are dismissed." He ordered, leading her to the target range. He handed her a bow. She took it from him, testing the tensile strength, as they drifted in front of a target. "We should play a game." Jace smirked faintly, locking an arrow into place.
"A game." She snorted at him.
"Yes, whoever gets closest to the bullseye gets to ask the other one a question." He suggested, letting an arrow fly.
"Alright then." She shrugged, glancing over at where his arrow landed. It was in the ring just outside of the target, which surprised her. She assumed he was like a god when it came to all of his weaponry skills but apparently, he was not the best at everything. She hummed softly, lifting her bow. She pulled the string back, aiming carefully before releasing it. "I win." She mocked, snickering to herself.
"This round." He said matter of fact like. "Ask your question." He ordered with a smile.
"Have you ever gotten all the sand off of you?" She felt laughter in her chest, as she thought about her question. She had so much sand in her behind alone if she shook it all out she could probably build a sand castle.
"No, it is engrained in every crevice on my body." He chuckled, shaking his head.
"How do you stand it? It drives me mad." She groaned, squirming faintly.
"Well when you are born here, you don't really mind it." He shrugged his shoulders, preparing to fire another arrow. Clary shot hers soon after his, seeing that his landed closer. "Do you really hate it here?" He asked softly, playing with the wood of his bow.
"I don't hate it here." She murmured, playing with the string.
"You act like you do." He walked around her, standing closer than she was comfortable with.
"I don't-" she sighed softly, shaking her head. "I just- I want to be home." She whispered, looking up at him. "I want to be in a dress, I want a bath, I want to be cold." She breathed, taking her eyes away from him. He hummed softly, stepping around her. They fired another round, and Clary internally winced when Jace beat her again.
"Are you really alright, after everything that happened last night?" Jace questioned quietly, knocking back another arrow.
"I-" she pursed her lips, trying to think of the correct phrasing. "I haven't been thinking about it." She shrugged her shoulders, playing with an arrow. "I was attacked. Your cousin caught him and now I am moving on." She explained, releasing a tensed breath. "He didn't actually…" She trailed off, not even wanting to think about what that man was going to do with her.
"I know he didn't." He said in a gentle voice, caressing her back with a whisper of a touch. "He was questioned extensively." His voice was gruff, as he spoke, but the way he said it made her pale ever so slightly. They had tortured him for touching her. She was a little surprised about the form of punishment that the man was subjected to, but at the same time she felt oddly grateful. "Again." He drew his arrow back, letting it fly.
Clary gulped thickly, pulling the string back. She aimed carefully, but she didn't hit her mark. She was nervous about Jace's next question. His questions were so simple but at the same time complicated because of their answers.
"Could you let me really try to please you in our bed?" He whispered into her ear, making her face flame up.
"I don't know." She stammered, gazing down at her feet.
"I could do it. I know I can, but you won't let me." He breathed, keeping everyone from hearing her.
"Jace, I really don't want to talk about this right now." She whispered, putting her bow back into its stand.
"I'm sorry. I just…" He chased after her, getting to her side.
"Is that all you care about?" She exclaimed, shaking her head. "Having sex with me, or making sure no one else has had sex with me." She snapped, wanting some space from him.
"No, I just think that it could help us." He skipped in front of her, and his face was soft and genuine.
"How would that help anything?!" She didn't understand what he was talking about, as he spoke.
"Being together like that… it builds intimacy. It builds closeness, and is a way for us to begin to be vulnerable with one another. I've been trying, but I don't know how to do it without physical part as well." Jace explained, as they walked into their home. Jace huffed a defeated breath, moving towards the door. "I hope one day you can really give me a chance." He murmured, looking at her with softened eyes.
"Be vulnerable. Tell me something no one else knows." She spoke quickly. She understood how he viewed sex, but she didn't see it the same way. Sex was a result from emotional vulnerability, not the sole cause of it.
"I left you this morning because I didn't think you would want me there. You hate being with me, so I started over thinking things this morning, and I felt like I had been raping you since we got married. I want to be with you, I want you to feel good and want me." His words hit her in the chest, making her sit down. She propped her hand against the blankets, looking up at him.
"I never thought you were raping me." She whispered, picking at her fingers. He fell to his knees in front of her, placing his hands on her thighs, as he gazed up at her. She was shocked by the gesture, but she weaved her fingers into his hair.
"I can't bring myself to have sex with you again unless you want it. My father has been pressuring me ever since you arrived, and it is exhausting, but I will wait until this is something that you truly and honestly want with me because you are my mate, my wife." He buried his face into her stomach, as she hesitantly brought his arms around her.
"Thank you." She breathed, pressing her lips to the top of his head.
She rested her cheek against his hair, feeling truly close to Jace for the first time.
OoOoO
Jace and Clary didn't leave their tent the rest of the night. They didn't talk or really move. They were sprawled comfortably across the bed, just holding each other. She could feel Jace's heart pound against her back, while her fingers played with his.
"Are you hungry?" He hummed, beginning to play with her tiny fingers. She shook her head silently, and he squeezed her hands in response. Her lips quirked up when Jace's head was nuzzled into the nape of her neck. He kissed her shoulder gently, tracing his finger across her dainty hands. She adjusted slightly, allowing herself to burrow against him.
She could hear the drums beating outside, along with everyone's chatter. The beat of the drums pounded in her chest, calming her more than she expected it too. She sighed contently, reaching up to touch his hair, which was partly draped over his shoulder. She twirled his locks, tugging on them lightly.
She glanced over at him, seeing his eyes closed. She focused on his breath, realizing that it was calm and steady. His heart rate seemed slower.
She grinned faintly, knowing that he was fast asleep. She wondered how he was comfortable. His position seemed extremely odd to her, but she didn't question it. She kissed his hand lightly, remembering his words from earlier.
Neither of them really enjoyed being together. Jace was able to finish, but that didn't mean he wanted to do it. It didn't mean he wanted to be with her in that way. He did want to have sex with her, but he wanted her to want it. He has made that very clear to her more than once. He didn't want to be with her because he had to be. They had duties that had to fulfill as a married couple and that included having a child. She hated that he felt that way, but it gave her some relief. If she had her way, she could be home within the next few months, so it might not be necessary.
She adjusted her head against her pillow before closing her eyes. She yawned heavily, letting rest overcome her.
OoOoO
Clary stirred awake a few days later, feeling Jace's body curled up against her. She hummed softly, letting her eyes fall shut again. She remembered that the man who attacked her was getting executed today. She moved onto her back, as Jace rolled away from her. He sprawled out across the bed, nuzzling into the blankets and pillows.
She was beginning to learn that her husband was a very heavy sleeper. She didn't understand how he woke up so early in the morning because he slept like the absolute dead.
She turned onto her side, lying on his warm back. She propped her chin on his back, smiling faintly. He was so peaceful here, in their bed. Sometimes she wished that the two of them could just stay here forever and really grow together, but she knew that would never happen. She had to finish her search, which she was beginning to hope was pointless. Jace wasn't a horrible person, and when he was finally able to open up, she could see the hurt in his heart.
"Wake up." She kissed his back, peering over him to see his face.
"I'm up." He grumbled softly, twisting around underneath her. "Good morning." He stroked her hair away from her face, tracing his finger along her cheek.
"I don't know if it is good." She sighed, propping herself up into a sitting position.
"Why not?" He yawned, stretching his limbs.
"That man is getting killed today." She whispered, glancing over at him.
"He attacked you." Jace crawled out of bed, and she found herself checking out his bare form. She looked away from him, feeling her cheeks flame up slightly before slipping out of the covers. She got dressed quickly, turning around to see her husband.
She followed him out to the town center, where she sat next to Stephen, feeling a little hesitant about what was about to happen. "You are accused of attempt at rape on Clarissa Herondale, who not only is the princess of these lands, but the highest ranking lady in our clan. The sentence for such behavior on my land is death." His voice echoed across the crowd that was watching, making her purse my lips. She had never really seen Stephen in an authoritative manner, so it was interesting for her to watch.
She didn't know if she wanted to see this. Jace told her that he would kill the man who tried to touch her, but she never thought he actually meant it. He reacted so calmly when she told him that she was attacked. She assumed that he was just saying that because he wanted to protect her.
She looked over at Jace, who was standing next to the man with a big sword. She had seen him spar, but this was different. It wasn't a wooden practice sword or a staff, it was a real metal sword. She gulped thickly, taking a deep breath.
She didn't understand why she was so nervous until her mind flashed back to her mother. Her blood dripping from the slit on her throat. She closed her eyes, remembering the red that seeped into her gown, forever staining it with her sins. Her screams echoing down the halls of the throne room, while her brother just stood there and watched.
She blinked her eyes open, seeing her husband with a sword. She didn't know if she could watch this. She felt her chest pound faster in her chest, while her uneasiness grew in her heart. She licked her lips, finding herself unable to take her eyes off the man she slept next to.
"And since you threatened the live of my son's wife, he has requested to personally carry out your sentence." He informed the man, nodding to the guards that were holding the prisoner. They pulled him over to a block, holding the man's head down on it. She wanted to look away, but she had some sick satisfaction in watching him die. At the same time, she was just plain sick. She compressed her lips together, as her eyes made contact with Jace's again.
"Any last words?" Jace asked, resting the edge of the sword against his neck. The man shook his head, and Jace shrugged his shoulders. She wondered what his last words would been. She sucked in a breath, as the sword was lifted high in the air. She gasped when the sword descended downwards, slicing the man's head off. She grimaced, seeing the head roll onto the ground. The sand filtered with crimson sand, which made her stomach churn. Nausea drifted up her throat, burning the back of it. She covered her mouth, forcing back the bile. She couldn't puke in front of everyone. She had to wait. Just a little bit longer.
"Get someone to clean that up." Stephen stood up, gesturing for her to get up too. She dropped her hand, swallowing the bile in her throat, as she hurried away from her place. She quickly walked around a tent away from the crowds of people, and vomited heavily. She coughed from the stinging sensation in her throat, feeling like she might puke again from the pain. She wiped her lips off, standing back up shakily. She took a calming breath, as she straightened herself out.
"Clary, where did you..." Jace's voice trailed off when he found her, as he tentatively rested a hand on her arm. "I've been looking for you." His eyes flicked over at the vomit on the ground, which made her face heat up. She felt more embarrassed than was probably necessary. "What happened?" He held her cheeks, stroking them lightly.
"The only other person I even seen die is my mother, and I just-" I paused, not really wanting to think about her dead mother.
"It's alright." He kissed her nose lightly, wrapping his arms around her. She hugged him back, as he squeezed her against him. He drew away from her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Death is brutal, but for that man, it did not come undeserved. He hurt you." He spoke softly. She nodded silently, biting her lip.
"It's just hard to see that much blood, and I just remembered her..." She murmured, keeping her eyes forward. He nodded in understanding, taking her hands and kissing them.
"Let's get you some more food." He grinned faintly, trying to make me feel better.
"That's probably a good idea." She mumbled, feeling my lip quiver slightly. She strode over to him, as his hand rested on the small of her back. He led her into the town center, steering her clear of the area where the man was executed. She sat next to him at their table, as Jace got her bowl of food. "Thank you." She whispered, watching him sit next to her. He smiled softly at her, kissing her cheek with a quick peck.
"I'm sorry you had to witness your mother's death, but I will always be here for you." He spoke quietly and steadily, making her believe every word he spoke to her.
A/N: Things with Clace are really starting to shift, and I think it is super exciting. I have officially caught up with my beta, which is why I waited to post this in all honesty. She is also in college and is a nursing student, so she is super busy. I hope I can get a chapter back to you by next Wednesday, but no promises.
Also I just want to say that I am super excited that I have gotten up to 100 followers on this story, I have gotten to almost 10000 views, along with over 100 reviews, which is just super exciting!
What do you guys think is going to happen next?
Please Review! I love hearing from all of you lovely people.
