Okay, so NANOWRIMO has passed (needless to say, I didn't win this year) and so has the year! HAPPY NEW YEAR! I was going to publish this story after Christmas, but it didn't feel right. Sorry it took so long, though.
R&R!
Ch. 10: Reflections
It was hard being cautious and hasty at the same time. I had to take Megumi to the hospital with me, so now I had a four-year-old little girl slumbering in the backseat of my car while I was speeding down the road to the hospital. It was fortunate the roads were clear and no police were around to stop me, so there weren't any impediments in my way.
As soon as I was at the hospital, I immediately ran to the front desk with Megumi still sleeping peacefully in my arms. "I'm here for Shibuya Mai, my wife."
"She just came in awhile ago. She's in the ICU right now." The nurse grabbed a clipboard and had another nurse take her station while she led me to my wife.
When we were there, I found Lin, Madoka, and Jun sitting outside the ICU. The little boy sat in a chair next to his mother, wondering why she was crying so much. Lin had a comforting hand on her back. When I came into the scene, everybody looked at me. Seeing me seemed to provoke Madoka's despondency because she suddenly began crying hysterically.
"I'm so sorry, Naru!" she cried. "I should've watched her more carefully! I-I'm just… so sorry!" Lin held her, and Jun looked petrified to see his mother in such hysterics.
Megumi suddenly began to stir in my arms. Madoka's crying was waking her up.
"Daddy…"
"Shhh… go back to sleep."
It was too late. Megumi lifted her head from my chest and saw Madoka. "Why is Madoka-baa-san crying?"
"Don't worry about it, Megumi. Everything's okay. Just, please, go back to sleep." Lying to my daughter hurt me deeply. But I was protecting her in a way. She had been through enough these past few days. If she were to know that her mother was in this misfortunate place because of the same ghost that attacked her… I didn't want to see the aftermath.
After a few moments, a doctor came out of the room. Madoka reached him before I could. "How is she, doctor? Is she okay? Is the baby okay?"
"Please calm down, miss." Lin took her shoulders and had her step back. "Now, who is Shibuya-san's emergency contact?"
"That would be me," I claimed. "I am Shibuya Kazuya, her husband."
"I'd like to have a brief word with you, Shibuya-san." I handed Megumi over to Lin so I could converse with the doctor privately. He led me around the corner where we were out of earshot. "From her medical record, I understand from your wife's prior pregnancy that she was hospitalized because she nearly miscarried, and your daughter was born prematurely." I nodded reluctantly. "And she was also hospitalized one month ago."
"Her hands were cut by glass and she fainted," I clarified.
"I see. But from her medical history, your wife hasn't been in the best health."
"She was completely fine afterwards."
"I understand." I could see I wasn't making his job easier, but I couldn't stand hearing about Mai's poor health conditions in the past. It was unbearable to think let alone talk about. But as Madoka described on the phone, Mai was in a critical condition, so the doctor wasn't going to give me any good news, anyway. What really aggravated me was his stalling.
"What is my wife's condition?" I finally asked. "How are she and the baby?"
"Your wife is fine, but…" I knew it: something was wrong with our unborn child.
"What happened?" I inquired.
The doctor hesitated a moment. He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "You see… your wife lost one of the children."
For that one moment, time stopped. Everything was out of balance—or perhaps that was me getting lost in a stupor. Mai was pregnant with twins—as in two babies instead of the one we anticipated—and she lost one of them. We wanted the fate of our child to be a surprise gender wise, but finding out that there were two unborn children inside my wife susceptible to Mitsuki's curse, it just… how could I've been so careless and uninformed?
"Shibuya-san, are you alright?"
"… No, I don't believe so."
"Gomen, but were you and your wife not informed that you were expecting twins?"
"No, we weren't."
"I see... Again, I apologize."
Seeing my reaction, I knew he hadn't told Mai yet. She would be devastated once she found out. I didn't have the heart to tell her, but hiding it from her would make me feel worse than I already felt. I was fit to tell her, as her husband.
"How is she?" I asked.
"She's stable and currently resting. The other baby is also fine."
"May I see her?"
"I wouldn't advise it, but… she may want you by her side once she wakes up."
I nodded at him. "Arigatou."
When he was gone, I let my guard down. I crouched on the floor, resting my elbows on my knees, taking in the news just relayed to me.
Mai miscarried. It hit me like a rock. Mai miscarried one of our children. Why did Mitsuki see it fit to stoop this low and torture me? Hitting me was one thing, but completely rescinding something Mai and I worked so hard to try and put into this world… she truly was a monster, destroying a life that was never given a chance.
I recovered myself before walking back to the others. When Madoka saw me, she immediately jumped out of her seat and interrogated me with a throng of incoherent questions. "How is Mai?" was the only thing I could understand.
I hesitated to answer and I knew I couldn't. She wouldn't be able to take the news. Lin sat with Megumi still sleeping in his lap and Jun still the confused, oblivious little child he was. His terrible vision came true and he wasn't even aware; I envied his ignorance at that moment.
"Gomen, Madoka. I don't need this right now. I'm going to see Mai for myself."
I escaped into her room away from the plaintive older woman. Now I was concentrated on the pale woman inclined in the hospital bed.
I wouldn't say this was the worst I'd seen of Mai because I've seen much worse, but seeing her sallow, wearied shape with her hand subconsciously protecting our child was enough to make me collapse into the unoccupied chair sitting against the wall. I wept, silently. I didn't want to disturb Mai, but it was difficult keeping the sobs in, especially since I knew a terrible, terrible secret that she didn't. I was back to square one. How could I look my feeble wife in the face and tell her one of our unborn children was gone forever?
I was finally able to get my act together so I could move my chair next to Mai. I held her hand tightly and prayed. I wasn't a very religious person—being a ghost hunter and having a mind based on logic and science were attributed to this—but I needed assurance from someone who was reliable, someone who made everyone feel comforted whether they believed in Him or not.
It felt as if a decade had passed until Mai finally stirred. Her weary eyes looked wearier when they opened up, making a difficult effort to stay open. When she saw me, her eyes immediately began to tear up. "Naru…" Her voice was hoarse, feeble, like her physical state. The tears returned.
"Mai, how do you feel?"
She closed her eyes again and took a deep breath. "Better," she replied softly. The hand I was holding squeezed mine for a second. The other roamed her bulging stomach. A sigh of relief breathed out. "The baby's fine."
I winced. She had no idea how wrong she was. "Mai, there's something I need to tell," I began slowly.
She must've hinted something in my distraught tone when she tried to sit up. "It's the baby, isn't it?" she asked immediately.
"Mai, calm down. Please." I made her lie back down. Forcing herself to sit up caused her extreme pain. We didn't need her to put more stress on herself after what just happened. "What I'm about to tell you is very… I don't know how to say this, so please, just bear with me." It took so much effort for me not to cry again. I could feel unshed tears threatening to spill. It was so hard staying strong in front of Mai in this situation—especially in this situation.
"Naru?" A felt a delicate hand brush my cheek, a familiar, wet sensation telling me that I was in fact crying once again. "Naru, what's wrong? What happened?"
I took a deep breath. "Mai… about the baby… We were going… to have twins."
I waited to see her reaction. At first, her face was filled with many questions, as if she didn't believe what I was saying at first, a simple reaction of surprise when mothers heard news like this. Her eyes smiled a bit. "Twins?" she repeated. "We…"
"Were, Mai," I reiterated.
"'Were'? What do you mean?" Fear appeared her in weary eyes.
I shook my head sadly. She wasn't making this easier for me. When I saw her face, I looked down. I was too ashamed. I had to tell her now or later, and later wasn't acceptable. "Mai, you miscarried one of the twins."
Her reaction was subtle. She turned her head away from me, and I was afraid of what she'd do next. She had endeared enough and the strain of finding out she lost one of her child was devastating. Now that she knew, I almost felt guilty for telling her.
She needed to know, Noll. She needed to know.
Her hand trembled as well as the rest of her body. The hand on her belly left to cover her mouth. I knew what she was trying to do. She was holding in her sorrows, hiding it from me. I couldn't allow Mai to do that. That was just as unhealthy. I wanted us to share our sorrows together.
"Naru," she said. "I can't…"
I joined her on the bed and shushed her. I had her lay her head in my chest as I held her close. "Go ahead, Mai. Let it out. It's okay. I will always be here for you, and I will never leave you." This opened up her opportunity to wail out. She let everything out, and it wasn't long until I was crying with her.
I stayed overnight, so I had Lin take Megumi home with him when he, Madoka, and Jun left. Madoka insisted on visiting Mai, but Mai didn't want anybody to see her in her condition. She was afraid she would break down again, and the doctor said not to induce anymore pressure in her delicate state. Mai slept the majority of the time, and while she did, I did some brainstorming.
I had one more chance to guess what Mitsuki really wanted. She didn't want my family, she didn't want my dignity—what the hell did she want?
The next morning, I decided to go back home. Mai didn't try to stop me. She knew I had a responsibility to Megumi while she was in the hospital, not to mention she was extremely somnolent from last night. And she wouldn't say it, but she knew Mitsuki was still an issue that needed to be dealt with immediately.
After I picked up Megumi, I went straight home to devise a plan. I wasn't going to take anymore chances guessing what Mitsuki wanted from me. She was dangerous, she made that perfectly clear. Because of her, Mai was in the hospital, Megumi was still recovering from her last act, and if I didn't act on my own quickly, then something could happen to Masako while she was still possessed her. She could also hurt the others, but I had a feeling that she wasn't interested in them.
As soon as I put Megumi to bed, I sat in the kitchen wondering what I could do. What could I possibly do? No one seemed to trust me anymore, Madoka and my parents were out of the picture; I'd never felt so frustrated, confused, and useless in my life.
"Daddy." I recognized my little girl's voice.
She stood behind my chair, her eyes filled with wonder and fear. "Megumi, what are you doing up so late?"
"I can't sleep. I'm worried about Okaa-san and ototo." I frowned. I forgot Megumi had no clue about the twins, either. She wasn't aware that she was going to have younger twin brothers. There was no point telling her now, I knew, since Mai was only carrying one twin now.
I lifted Megumi unto my lap. "Don't worry. Okaa-san will be out of the hospital once she's recovered."
"What about the ghost?"
I sighed. I knew there was no use hiding the situation from her with her paranormal sensitivity. "Megumi, you shouldn't be worried about this. I will protect you."
"No!" Suddenly, Megumi wrapped her arms around my neck. "It went after me, then Okaa-san… what if… what if it goes after you?" Megumi began crying, her tears staining my shirt. "I don't want you to die, Daddy! I'm scared!"
I didn't know what to do at the moment but hold Megumi as she continued to lament her feelings. Despite how brave she had acted, I knew Megumi was still a little girl, and she was almost as afraid as I was. She had no idea what was going on yet at the time same, she was completely aware. Megumi always had a knack for being sensitive to everything, not just the paranormal, which scared me. She was still a little girl; she didn't need to worry about this. All I could do to console her was to hold her and tell her everything was going to be alright when that was not for certain.
It wasn't long until she finally fell asleep again. I took her to bed before retiring in the living room. With no other options, I just sat there, my hand over my face with in fatigue and frustration.
There was always one solution I went to when I couldn't figure anything out on my own: Gene. Being the elder of the two of us, he knew how to solve anything that I couldn't, which was rare. When I lost him, using my own solutions, solving my own problems seemed harder, more wearisome—but not impossible. The strain of losing my only blood devastated me. Then I found Mai. Through thick and thin, she was able to help as much as she could. I didn't know why everything seemed easier after that until I found out who her spiritual guide was.
Now, with Gene gone forever and Mai in the hospital, I was on my own.
I'll always be there for you, Noll.
Gene was the first person to tell me that. Who knew after he died he'd see through his promise. Where was he now? Somewhere in the afterlife. He passed on, so there was no feasible way to contact him.
Something rubbing against my leg suddenly brought me out of my train of thought. Jii-Jii was walking under my legs, purring up a storm. I expected him to be in Megumi's room. We had a mutual understanding that we didn't like being near each other. But as he looked up at me with his large blue eyes, I knew he was demanding my attention.
"What is it?" I asked as I picked him up from the floor. "You should be with Megumi. She needs you more than I do." I scratched behind his ears, which started the purring up again. For some reason, his comfort also comforted me. No wonder Megumi was so fond of him. "I don't know if this means you like me or not, but I appreciate the company." He meowed in response.
"I doubt you can understand me, but it doesn't matter. Right now I just take comfort in talking to someone who I haven't hurt, or hasn't been hurt by Mitsuki. I have one more chance to save everyone I love, but I just don't know what to do. I'd ask for your help, but…" I laughed. I couldn't believe myself. I was talking to a cat. And if I didn't know any better, I was sure Jii-Jii understood me.
The cat suddenly jumped out of my lap as if he lost interest in me. He began mewling at me, wanting more of my attention. Once he knew he had my attention, he continued through the hallway until he was in the bedroom Mai and I shared.
I couldn't believe I was following this cat. So far, I didn't see what was so important. Jii-Jii stopped on our dresser in front of the vanity mirror. He jumped off when I approached. I didn't know what he wanted me to see, until I saw the locket on the dresser. It was the one given to Megumi on Christmas five years ago. It was also the same locket found by my brother right before he died. Mai and I didn't want to give it to Megumi until she was older, so we locked it away. I wondered how it managed to get on the dresser.
When I opened it, I found my and Gene's original names and the date of our birth. I remembered when I saw the vision of that terrible day when Gene died. He just came out the store, and the traffic abruptly turned red as he was walking down the street…
I looked up away from the locket. I dropped it when I saw the figure in the mirror. Gene… He just stood there by the window with that innocent yet coy smile on his face. I turned to see if he was really there or if this was some sick hallucination to find Jii-Jii sitting on the window sill.
I sat on the bed to catch my breath. How could I believe Gene was still here at my time of moment? Seeing him in the mirror smiling at me like that… Anyone else would believe it was some kind of sign, but I, however, never took these "signs" seriously, unless there was some kind of logical truth behind them. But tonight, everything changed.
I knew what Mitsuki wanted.
