A/N- Okay, I was having trouble figuring out what to do with Bella and Edward next, so I let the idea simmer on the back burner for a few days, and I finally decided to skip the next two uneventful months of Bella's pregnancy, making her currently six and a half months along. All you need to know:

She has gotten BIG.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wow, I thought as I sat in the kitchen, noshing on some celery, I can't believe that I am already almost done with my pregnancy. The past two months had been so eventful that some might call them boring, but I had Edward and our family to keep me entertained. I had gotten absolutely huge- I was now the size that a normal woman was at nine months, yet I still had about three to go.

It wasn't until Anthony poked me in the kidney that I noticed that I had stopped eating. I shoved in another celery stick and waited for Edward's cold, loving arms to embrace me, but he didn't show. I finally got curious and wandered into our room in search of him- no trace of my missing vampire hubby anywhere. I called Alice to ask her if she had seen him.

"Umm, you might want to sit down for this one, Bella."

"Why?" I asked, my eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"Emmett kind of….super glued Edward's mouth shut."

I shot out of my seat. "WHAT?!" I demanded.

"Don't ask how," she said, "but, Edward was saying something to get Emmett riled up, and somehow the superglue came into the picture. Edward can't talk or anything. He's on his way home now…and I think Emmett's following him."

I hung up- how on God's green Earth had Emmett managed to glue Edward's mouth shut??? Just then, the front door swung open and Edward stepped in, angry looking.

"Hi, baby." I said gently, moving to hug him, "It's okay. Why don't you tell me about it?" I asked, handing him a tablet of paper and a pen.

"I think he's been stricken speechless by your pregnant beauty, Bella." Emmett sniggered.

A feral snarl ripped from Edward's throat, but was dulled by his sealed lips- I could tell that he was not in the mood to play. I rubbed his back gently, and that seemed to calm him down a little, but he continued to glare at Emmett.

"Maybe you shouldn't have said that, Edward, and I wouldn't have had to glue your mouth shut."

Edward's hands shook with fury, a deluge of snarls trying to pour from his lips. Emmett continued to mock him, and suddenly, he did the only thing that he could do to express his anger toward his brother:

He flipped him off.

Emmett's eyes widened, and his jaw fell slack as Edward crossed his arms, still glaring. Edward tried to say something, but it just sounded like "Mmh-mmbn." Emmett left, seeming shocked at Edward's vulgar and extremely rude hand gesture, and Edward smiled and dug a small bottle out of his pocket- 'Ultra Strength, Long Lasting Super Glue' it said on the side. He read the ingredients on the back before nodding. "Mmmm." he said, nodding. He walked into the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of dish soap, and put a drop on his finger and began to rub it on his lips, much like Alice or I would apply lip gloss. Suddenly, he pried his lips open.

"Are you okay?" I asked, trying not to giggle.

A look of straight determination crossed my husband's face- it was a look I'd only seen on his face once before- he had had that face whenever he was delivering his vows on our wedding day. It was a look that gave the impression that he would follow whatever it was to the end of the earth.

"What's with that look?" I asked.

"It's on." he said.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE NEXT DAY

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was lounging on the couch, watching the Port Angles news, when Edward called.

"Hell-o?" I said playfully.

"Bella?" he asked, his voice exited, "I figured out the perfect way to get Emmett back."

"How?"

"Come outside."

I waddled to the door and looked out. Edward was leaning against Emmett's Jeep………which was painted pink. And I mean pink. It reminded me of the color of a Barbie convertible I'd once seen in the window of a toy shop…or the color of my cheeks whenever I got really embarrassed. Edward looked proudly at it, a smug smile playing his perfect lips as he approached me.

"Emmett's gonna kill you!" I howled with laughter as I spoke, "He only asked you to take it to have that scratch on the side covered and to give it wax!"

"Well, the scratch is gone, isn't it?" he asked.

I laughed harder as Edward called Emmett.

"Hey, Em? It's Ed. Yeah, it's here. Oh, don't worry- that scratch is gone. Yes, it looks good. I swear, you won't even recognize it."

A few seconds later, Emmett appeared in the clearing- his face fell, and then scrunched up in anger. He charged for Edward and grabbed him, missing me by inches, and hurled him into a tree more that thirty yards away. He hit the tree hard, and not a second later, I heard a sickeningly loud 'snap', and the tree fell to the ground- I winced as Edward appeared high up in the next tree over, his face still light. Emmett's nostrils were flared, his golden eyes molten, bulky muscles tensed- I had never seen him this angry before.

"Why did you do this?!" Emmett demanded.

Edward laughed. "Remember what you told me when you glued my mouth shut, Emmett?" he asked mockingly, "You told me to 'get over it and learn how to take a joke'. I was simply extracting some well deserved revenge."

"Well deserved?" Emmett hissed, "Maybe, if you learned to stop smarting off, I wouldn't have had to shut you up!!! And this whole thing you did to my Jeep is so screwed up that it's not even funny!"

"I think it's pretty funny." Edward smiled.

"I am going to cut your balls off and force them down your throat!" Emmett shrieked.

"Let's see you catch me." Edward taunted.

"You wanna bet that I can't- no, wait." Emmett paused, an evil grin spreading across his face, "Don't get mad, get even. That's my motto." he finished before climbing in his Barbie Jeep and speeding away.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A FEW DAYS LATER

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Things were quiet for a few days, and Edward kept on his toes, constantly checking on all things that could be a target for Emmett; his cars, his phone, me. But, he was in desperate need to hunt. I assured him that I would be fine, and he went, but not quietly. I was getting ready for bed, brushing my teeth, when I noticed something on the counter; it was a voice recorder with a note attached.

It read:

Bella-

This is a phone conversation that I recorded between Edward and Tanya- you can guess fairly easily that they didn't know that I was listening. I'm so sorry it has to be this way.

-Emmett

I was very worried. So worried that it took a second for me to stop shaking enough to push the 'play' button on the voice recorder.

"Hey, baby." Edward said.

My heart stopped beating.

"Are you coming over on Saturday?" Tanya asked, her voice sickeningly sweet, "Because I really miss you."

I felt my eyes tear up- today was Saturday.

"Yeah," he said, "I'll tell Bella that I'm going hunting and come home a little late so that I'll have gold eyes."

"Won't she suspect?"

"No- I'll make up some excuse and bat my eyelashes. She'll forget all about it. I know how she works."

I gagged.

"I love you." she sighed, "And I'm so glad you came to me once you realized that you wouldn't get any action from Bella because she's pregnant. You are so sweet to me."

He laughed. "Yeah- but we have to end it as soon as she gives birth- she'll never know, and she'll finally put out again. I gotta go."

"I love you." she said again.

"…I love you, too." he said before hanging up.

The room spun- my knees wobbled. I looked at my reflection in the mirror before running to the toilet…and I threw up loudly.

I tried to rummage through my mind to find a word to describe how I felt at the moment:

Disgusted, angry, heartbroken, nauseated, all were way too light to describe how absolutely shocked and upset I was. Edward was cheating on me with Tanya. It was my worst nightmare come true. He told me he loved me, that he had eyes for no other woman. He vowed that on our wedding day- yet here he was, having an affair with someone who was practically his cousin for God's sake! I hated him! I threw myself on our bed and burst out in tears.

"No!" I wailed, "Why?!?!"

A sat like that for almost an hour, screaming and bawling until my voice was hoarse.

Just then, I felt someone pat me on the back.

"What's the matter, love?" he asked.

"Nothing. How's Tanya?" I spat.

His brow furrowed. "I'm not sure; why would you ask?"

I shoved the voice recorder into his hand; he listened to it, and his face became ashen.

"Bella," he began, but I could hear it in his voice that he was trying to sweet talk me.

"NO!" I screamed, shoving myself off of the bed, "It's over, Edward! I never want to see you again!"

His face fell. "Bella, you have to listen to me!" he pleaded.

"Give me one good reason why!" I screamed, shoving my wedding and engagement rings into his hand, "Why should I ever listen to you again? Hell, why should I even notice that you exist, you unfaithful pig?!"

"Bella, I didn't have an affair with Tanya." he said, his voice shaking so hard that you could barely understand what he was saying.

"Oh, that's so pitiful. I have proof!!!" I yelled, "I hate you!" I bawled, tears spilling down my face as I made my way into the hall. He caught up to me and grabbed my wrist.

"Take it back Bella, please! I'm begging you! Please take it back!" he begged, about to cry

"No!!! I won't take it back because it's true! You had an affair, I have proof, and I hate you for it! Now get your hands off of me!"

"It's not true!" he yelled, pushing me up against the wall, "The tape is not real!"

I stopped dead in my tracks, tears still rolling silently down my face.

"Wh-what?" I asked.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N- I know- EMMETT IS SO MEAN!!!!!!!!! WTFH?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?