I haven't updated this story in so freaking long…. It's incredible…. Well I finally decided to update it and get one step closer to actually finish this story…. I digress Because I haven't updated this in so long and Naruto has progressed a bunch of characters should be gone from the Akatsuki but I'm not going to let them go because I stole the witch from Inuyasha who brought them all back to life and this way I kill two birds with one stone kikyou never comes back to life and I have my Akatsuki! Yay Me!! Anywho here goes.


I don't own Naruto if I did I'd have probably ended that whole fight with Pain and Jiraiya… because honest Konan, Itachi, and Sasuke must be standing behind a rock saying 'when the hell do we get our screen time back?!?'


The stalker/detective persony thingy stood in front of Tsuande's desk which has been cleverly renamed Tsunade's underwater evil lair as a parting gift from Sakura. Tsunade stared at the stalker/detective persony thingy who was stalking/ detecting persony thingies about Sakura and he stared back.

"I want my money." Tsunade nodded and brought out a large suitcase.

"It's all in there." The man nodded and opened it to find Barbie money. He touched it and screamed in pain.

"It burns!! It burns!!" His shadow disappeared and it was revealed to be none other than Sasuke otherwise known as the former rapper turned puddle formerly known as the puddle rapper who produced Gai and Lee's hit album and secretly produced a separate label for himself which failed. "How did you know it was me?!?" He pointed his finger accusingly at Tsunade.

"It was easy." Tsunade laughed darkly. "All I had to do was look outside my office." She turned her head and looked outside to see a fish swimming by. The two blinked. "Do you think Sakura just didn't rename it but move my office…."

"The answer to that is yes!" Sasuke shouted as he ripped off his face to reveal Hinata's face. "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHA!!!!!!!" Hinata laughed evilly as random lightning flashed across the sky though you couldn't see it because they were currently underwater because Sakura cleverly renamed Tsunade's office 'Tsunade's evil underwater evil lair!' and secretly moved it without telling Tsunade or anyone else in the building for that matter.

"Words have great meaning." Shino said as he swam by in a ducky costume made of ducktape.

"You can breathe underwater??!" Tsunade screamed in shock.

"Who can't?" Hinata said as she appeared next to him with scuba gear breathing through an oxygen tank. So instead of actually saying 'Who can't?' It sounded more like 'Bubbles!! OH my freaking cheese monkies!! Bubbles!!' I'm such a great interpreter. :D

Tsunade stared at Hinata. "You have scuba gear!! Wait did I just understand that?!? I'm going insane with everyone else!!" She ran to her desk and hid underneath it and rocked back and forth singing to herself. "Row row row your boat gently down the stream…" Her eyes twitched. Hinata suddenly appeared into her office completely dry.

"That's right, I'm magic!" Hinata said as she smiled insanely and clapped. "Yay for me!!" Shino laughed but stopped when Hinata glared at him. "I wants to breathe underwater!"

"I'm breathing underwater?" Shino said as he looked inside the underwater building and then around him. Suddenly Sakura and Ino in mermaid outfits swam down to him and reached out their hand.

"Shino!! You're going to die! You need air!" He smiled as he reached up and grabbed their hands. Ino slapped him.

"Don't touch us!! We're magic! To the banishment closet!!" Ino shouted. Sakura nodded in agreement. They both picked up Shino in his duct tape ducky costume and threw him into Tsunade's office. Sakura and Ino climbed in as the water started to pour in.

"We're all gonna die!!" Sakura and Ino screamed as she ran around in a circle. The building was collapsing and Hinata was sitting in the corner drinking tea?

"What I need my mother $(#&$&$#(&(#&$(#$(&#) you got that you little #$&(#&(Y(URIOW(#." Sakura, Ino, Tsunde, Sasuke (which is weird cause he's still a puddle…), Naruto (who was trapped in Hinata's tea kettle….


.

Flashback Sequence Opening to a day after Sakura's treasure incident before underwater Tsunade's evil lair…


"Wait!!"Shizune shouted as she entered as the room started to darken into flash back mode. "Tsunade did you pay the flashback bill?" Tsunade nodded. "With new cookie monster nightlights installments for the opening and closing so it won't be dark?!?" Shizune said as she sneaked a glance at Sakura who was currently in the process of going to break Shino because it was getting dark. Tsunade stared at her.

"Sure…" Tsunade said with a sweatdrop. She turned around away from them and took out a tape recorder "Note to self, add nightlight feature." Tsunade turned back to her and smiled. "I did."

"I'll trust you even though you just shouted that you didn't add it into the announcer." Shizune smiled and turned into a cat which proceeded to lick up Sasuke the puddle. "Proceed with the flashback!" Tsunade shouted.

The screen went black before slowly lighting up to a scene of Naruto and Hinata sitting with Neji around a tea set. Suddenly Sakura came barging in.. wait Sakura wasn't there when this happened…

"Who the hell had enough guts to turn off the lights!!!" Sakura had Shizune the cat in her arms and pointed her like a gun at everyone. "I have a cat and I'm not afraid to use it!" Her eye twitched and Gaara appeared out of nowhere along with Itachi.

"Sakura, come with us!" Itachi said with a sweet smile. Sakura's eyes twinkled as she saw the cookie in Gaara's hand.

"I want it…" Sakura licked her lips. "Cookie…" Gaara dropped the cookie and got into a fighting stance. Sakura did the same only she dropped Shizune the cat. "KYAAA!!" Sakura said as she approached Gaara in slow motion. Gaara did the same. They jumped up into the air and approached each other in action poses in the the air only Gaara's weren't actiony… more like cutelike… Suddenly Naruto spotted the cookie and ate it in one bite. Gaara and Sakura's eyes twitched as the started to beat the hell out of Naruto before stuffing him into the tea kettle. They then proceeded to make a grave and bury the remains of the cookie.

"He was so brave…" Sakura said with a tear. Neji nodded his head.

"Brave but stupid to try that…" He stared at the tea kettle.

"I'm not talking about Naruto! I'm talking about Senor Cookie." Dramatic lights fell upon Sakura as a thunder noise affect came from nowhere and when I saw nowhere I mean Tobi accidentally hit the sound board. No the Akatsuki isn't still filming, Tobi just got left behind. Poor poor tobi…anywho back to the main thing.

"Who?!?" said a bunch of random little Konoha ninja which included Hanabi, Konohamaru, and all of them.

"Senor Cookie." Sakura said as she now had a cape and an invisible false mustache.

"Ahh!!" The children shouted in anticipation. Sakura started to sing the ballad of the Great Senor Cookie who was defeated by an evil blond demon, but in the end got punished by the Great Senor Cookie's little helpers who seaed the blond demon into the kettle of doom.

"Do you all want to be helper's of Senor Cookie?!?" Sakura said with stars in her eyes.

"Yes!" They all screamed and then Sakura started sticking chocolate chip cookie stickers on all of their foreheads.

"That is all!" Sakura threw down a smoke bomb and as it cleared she still stood there.

"Uh…" The kids said. Why the heck are they all in unison, you might ask. Because I says so, "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Hinata said as she cracked under the pressure of all the insanity.

Ending Flashback.

"The heck you are!!" Sakura yelled as she started to threaten the screen. "Shikamaru!!" She pulled her hand and flipped through the fanfiction chapters to chapter one. "You!"

"What do you want now?" Shikamaru said lazily.

"Give me a nightlight." She screamed. He tossed one to her and walked all the back to chapter one.

May I?

"You may."


End of Flashback.


Everyone stared blankly at Hinata who seemed to have cracked under the pressure as such was happening to Tsunade's underwater evil lair.

"Shall we?" Sakura said.

"We shall." Hinata linked arms with Sakura and jumped into Tsunade's closet. Everyone just kinda stood there knee deep in water.

"Do you know what I figure?"

"No." Naruto said in a tiny voice as he was in a tea kettle.

"The insanity follows them and when they leave they'll trap us here forever!! Follow those insane girls!" Tsunade ran into her closet. Shizune turning back into a human scooped up puddle Sasuke and poured him into the kettle with Naruto before turning back into a cat and running after Tsunade. Ino shoved Shino into the closet and closed the door.

"Now I can be a free mermaid!" Ino said as she swam around before remembering she needed air and swimming to the surface where she found out she was in snow country. "…"

Tsunade looked around the closet there was a nightlight in the corner providing light thankfully keeping Sakura from going monster on her. There was a calendar and nothing else. "What happened to my sake supply in here?!?" She shouted as she looked around for it After all this was Tsunade's office closet.

"We had to make room for the secret tunnel back to Konoha." Hinata said with a smile.

"So we can finally end the contest. The trophies will be gone and the insanity will end. We'll be right on time for Saturday!!" Tsunade said as she cried tears of joy.

"Uh.. no." Sakura said as she grabbed the calendar. "See because I made Friday a 52 hour day we skipped Saturday and went straight to Sunday, in fact it's almost Monday since flashbacks take away 12 hours."

"They do?" Shizune the cat said.

"Yup, it's why they charge you money for it. It takes away a lot of time and energy." Sakura said with a sweet smile. "See the time space continuum opens up for a simple price of 12 bucks each buck is really an hour your are spending so basically it's like trading a chicken for a duck and making vegetarian pizza for the duck and chicken while swimming in a bowl of tomato soup crying 'WHY?!! WHY?!?! WHY DIDN'T I SWITCH MY AUTO INSURANCE?!?!' until you realize we ninja don't use cars and as such don't need auto insurance unless you mean carts and wagons." Everyone stared at her strangely.

"You know what I think I'll like living underwater…" Tsunade said as she tried to open the closet door. Okay that's an understatement she banged on the door with tears in her eyes screaming 'I'm going to die in here with them, open please!!' before using Shino's head as a door rammer which didn't work because not only did he have a duct tape ducky outfit he had became rubber like as the ducky itself. Weird… "NOO!!!!" She screamed.

Hinata just smiled happily. "Looks like we're locked in the closet of doom!!" She suddenly had flashlight and used it to look extremely evil.


That's right folks did you expect that/!?! Hinata and Shino finally cracked under the pressure of all the insanity and has joined the other ninja into crazy land!! Yay! I made a lot of grammatical errors so forgive me I was just trying to write a long update since I haven't updated in a very very long time. Well here it is. Review if you'd like. Flames are welcome. I think I've gone crazy myself :