Chapter Eleven: Let's Do Some Living After We Die

"You really should call her." Dylan said to Marco who had just picked up the phone and then hung it up, slamming it into his bag.

"No. I'm not going to. She's owes me the apology, not the other way around," He responded stubbornly.

"From what I hear she really needs you." Dylan added, noticing how mopey and depressed Marco seemed with Manny in his life.

"Like I haven't heard that before. Manny does not care about me." Marco responded as Dylan directed Marco into the production room.

"We're here." He commented, knowing that he was wasting his breath talking to Marco about this. He was seventeen years old and had to learn things the hard way.

"But I just don't get it. Why Gianni? If it was Craig, I wouldn't care and I even told her that. Why would she do that?" Marco ranted as Dylan shook his head and sat down in one of the nearest chairs. This was going to take a while.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" Gianni asked Manny, following her into her room.

"And say what? Do you want me to tell you how I feel about it?" She wondered as Gianni nodded. "I'm not going to do this. I'm just going to get out of these clothes and …"

"And let him get away with it?" He finished for her.

"I don't want people to pity me and it's not that big of a deal. What's done is done. Let's just forget it happened, okay?" Manny started gathering her things for a nice, long bath. She knew it would never wash away the feeling or erase her memory of what had happened, but at least she could pretend that things were good.

"I know you can't forget it Manny. Is that why you go sleeping around, afraid to let anyone really get to know you?"

"What?" She turned around suddenly. "Are you calling me a slut?" Manny held her breath surprised at how much his words stung. She never let people that she didn't care about get to her like that and she didn't care about Gianni …

"No … I've just heard about this before … how rape victims--"

"I was not raped okay." Manny lowered her voice, staring Gianni squarely in the eye.

"So, what it was consensual?" He shot back.

"I don't know what you think you saw, but it was nothing. I'll never go back there and nothing like that will ever happen again. It's over Gianni. I just need you to be a friend, or whatever the hell you are to me right now, and agree with me. I'm right about this." Manny convinced herself, upset that she was even crying at all around him. She hated feeling weak and vulnerable, but somehow she always ended up in situations that made her feel like that.

"It's just that—I really c—" Gianni looked down torn. This was not the time to hint at his possible feelings for her that he wasn't even sure of. Instead, he replied, "I can't let you let him destroy your life. That bastard raped you and—"

Manny looked down, shaking her head while saying, "You know what … you need to get the hell out of room right now before I really lose it."

"So, this is it." Sean lead Ellie into the place that he was staying, as she opened her eyes to a dimly lit room, smiling surprised.

"Wow. Sean, this is beautiful." Ellie sighed, noticing that there were rose petals everywhere and that he had made dinner. "I thought we were just going to hang out."

"Well, we are." He hugged her suddenly. "I just wanted you to know that I'm here for good."

"What?' Ellie turned around suddenly. "I thought it was temporary …"

"Yeah, it was." Sean cleared his throat. "But I promised I would never leave me and you promised that you wouldn't cut again. I just couldn't break that promise, especially when I knew that you were going so well."

"Wow." Ellie forced herself to smile again, ignoring that gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach. What Sean didn't know was that she had been cutting … no more than four days ago. But, he didn't need to know because if he was going to be there, then she had no reason to ever cut again.

"Who could that be?" Paige wondered, rushing to her front door, pretty sure that everyone had gone home by now. It was five in the morning and her parents had come in and stopped the party early anyway. 3AM. Who only has a three hour party? "Who is it?" She asked, hoping that her parents were in one of their famous deep sleeps.

"It's me." Hazel sighed as Paige opened the door surprised. This was supposed to be Hazel's night with Jimmy and not only were they separated, but she looked awful. Opening the door, Paige questioned, "What happened? Didn't you go to the party?"

"I went." Hazel looked down, sighing. "Can I just stay here a while?" She wondered, tired of driving around aimlessly, yet knowing that it was too late to try and go home. Her parents would trust her more if she just said that she was at Paige's house and had gotten in a little late.

"Have you been crying hon?" Paige led her to the living room.

"No." Hazel dried her eyes quickly. "Yes, but it's not what you think. Everything's okay now."

"Did something happen with you and Jimmy?"

"No. I just found out some things that I needed to know." Hazel began. "It's officially over between him and I and I'm completely over…"

"What's going on?" Jimmy wondered, appearing from the back.

"I was just leaving." Hazel whispered, instantly standing up.

"Is it because of me?" Jimmy responded as Hazel's steps slowed down.

"What?"

"Is it because of me?" He repeated.

"Of course it's because of you. And how you acted tonight. I've never seen that side of you … ever. Maybe you're not the person I thought you were." Hazel finished with a sad smile. "Maybe my parents were right."

"Come on Haze. It was just a mistake. Jimmy didn't mean it and he was drunk and--" Paige chimed in.

"That's just it. The Jimmy I knew would've never been drinking in the first place. He wouldn't have treated me like I meant nothing. But you wouldn't know anything about that life would you?" Hazel slammed the door behind her, happy to get everything off her chest, but immediately breaking down in tears as she sat in her car until dawn broke.

Ellie rolled over happily now face to face with Sean and very much in love all over again. All the did last night was have dinner together, but in those few hours, she had found out everything she needed to know about Sean and things were going to get better. She knew it.

"Good morning honey." She whispered, brushing his hair out of his face. For once, Sean looked like he didn't have so much on his mind, like he could just lay there with Ellie forever.

"Hmm." Sean rolled to the other side, eventually opening his eyes. "Did something … happen last night?" He wondered.

"You wish. We just hung out and we got some things cleared up." Ellie smiled brightly. It felt good to finally mean something to someone and to have everything fall into place for once.

"Don't you have something to thank me for?" He asked, gesturing to a small ring that surrounded one of her fingers on her right hand.

"Wow." She responded as Sean pulled her in for a hug, as all the demons that had made her start cutting again seemed to disappear. Ellie would never need that kind of reassurance again because she had Sean.

"I'm going to go take a shower." Ellie smiled, placing the ring on the counter before heading to the bathroom.

"Hey, wait. I think you dropped…" Sean's voice trailed off as he reached down to pick up something that vaguely looked like a knife. But it couldn't be. Ellie was beyond that. She promised … Sean forced himself to pick up the shiny object and it was no use in denying it. Ellie was cutting again.

"You think you can just wash it away Manny?" Gianni yelled behind the closed door as she tore off what was left of her clothes. Throwing them into a corner, she never wanted to see them again. It all reminded her of too many things she didn't want to hear about.

"Why don't you just go away?" She begged, the tip of her toe touching the hot, almost scolding water. It was just hot enough to draw her attention away from anything else.

"Just let me help." Gianni pleaded.

"How? You're going to go beat the shit out of him some more … so he'll have a reason to come after me again. It's over. I'll just find somewhere else to stay, okay?" Manny calmed down once she heard Gianni's footsteps walking away.

"Finally." She whispered, unable to shake her sudden depression and fatigue. "It's not like it was that bad." Manny muttered, remembering times when Jacob had beaten her so much that she could barely stand. And then there was the time that he had … "No."

She forced herself to stop rethinking about the past. Her past was shitty and she knew it. And by the looks of things, her future wasn't going to be much better. "It's the only way." Manny sighed, taking out a pack of pills in her drawer that she used every night. It helped her to forget the nightmares. But only this time, she was using them not to sleep tonight, but for an external sleep—the only way that she would be able to find true peace.

To come:

She wasn't that naïve and knew what going "upstairs" meant. "Spinner. You're drunk. Go away." She demanded as they had a mini fight which ended in Spinner having his drink thrown in his face and inevitably backing off. What surprised her more than anything was that the person who had always been there for her suddenly wasn't. It was as though he didn't exist or matter to her anymore.

"How many times do I have to tell you? Stop pushing. You're asking me for too much … . I'm afraid of how you'll treat me when you realize that I don't love you."

"Something that I should've done instead of wasting my time." He kissed her lustfully letting all of his inhibitions go and acting on his conflicting feelings between her and another. He took her by the hand as she allowed herself to be dragged along.

"Do you think she knows?""How could she? She just thinks I've been drinking." He pulled two joints, revealing a new obsession, anything that would make him forget how he got here in the first place.

"I just need you to be a friend to me. Can you do that?"

(A/N: When I get five more reviews I'll add on, so read it! –NL)