AN: I want to say a big sorry for the late update, I have been having the worst case of writers block on the planet, plus I've been spending a lot of time with this guy that I like, so it's hard for me to keep on top of my writing and hanging out.
Hope you forgive me for the shortness of this chapter, but I thought it was better than nothing, hoping the next one will be longer.
As always read and review, and I'll try and have the next update up in no time...
Chapter eleven
The bad hand
Gemma watched as Kelly's bike rode behind her car, she'd parked in the drive of Jax and Tara place seeing Kelly parking up also. "What brings you here?" Gemma asked taking her sunglasses off.
"Tara going out of town," Kelly shrugged, "I guess I thought I'd see her off. That I've got shit else to do today." Taking her helmet and riding gloves off Kelly looked over Gemma. "You okay?" She asked worried.
"Yeah," Gemma ran a hand into her hair looking to the house, "Going to be weird without Tara about." She added watching Kelly placing her bike helmet on the handle bars.
Kelly shrugged, "Jax thinks it's for the best, so I can't disagree with it." Walking beside Gemma to the front door, Gemma was using her key to get inside and Kelly followed.
Walking through the front door Gemma can see Jax and Tara, "Hey baby," She said seeing Jax with a car seat, Gemma just felt happy to catch Tara before she left.
"Hey mom, what you doing here?" He glanced behind her seeing Kelly, "And you?"
Kelly gave an awkward wave walking in closing the door behind herself, "Thought I'd say my goodbyes." Kelly kept behind Gemma as they all headed towards the kitchen.
"Well you're taking my grandsons on a one way trip to Oregon, you think I'm not going to stop by to say goodbye." Gemma placed her bag down on the table.
Tara stepping in behind Kelly, "It's only going to four or five days." She pointed out while still holding Thomas, her eyes going over Kelly as she rested against the countertop.
"So where's Elyda?" Gemma asked, she kept looking around in case she missed her, but she had a strong feeling she wasn't here.
"I'm actually going to take up Tara and the boys," He said cleaning around the kitchen, "Turn it into a little family vacation." Jax added with a smile looking to Kelly looking surprised. "With the way things have been going Kelly; I think you should take Juice on one too."
"Yeah, that's if I see him longer than five minutes to bring up the idea." Kelly exhaled looking to Gemma's face, "You sure you're okay?"
Gemma shocked her head, her attention back on Jax, "Does Clay know you're going?" She asked, she kept thinking back to the safe, the money that Clay took out, and the sinking feeling that something bad was going to happen.
Jax exhaled, "You can let him know when we've left. We've got stuff with the Irish. I'll be back the day after tomorrow."
"What about the Mexican?" Gemma took a step forward, she knew now that Kelly was watching her like a hawk, her eyes slowly looking over to Tara. Kelly didn't like this, but Gemma was being very weird today.
"Nothing for us to do, it's an internal beef that we've been told to stay out of it." He reached over picking things up.
Tara kept feeling Kelly's eyes on her, but moved Thomas lifting him up, "Say goodbye to Granma…" Her voice was sweet passing Thomas to Gemma.
"Ahh Hello baby," Gemma sounded kind, but Kelly could tell something was there.
Kelly moved her eyes going to Jax for a second, "Before you run off, can I have a word?" She nudged her head to the hallways and Jax nodded following her out walking to the living room.
Jax took a step back looking over Kelly, "So what you need to talk about?" He felt the need to ask if it was Juice, but he tell from her eyes that it was Juice.
"I guess it's all this Cartel shit, and you said about me and Juan going away for a bit." Kelly exhaled, "Are you sure it's wise for me and Juan to take off?" She kept her tone natural, but couldn't help but feel herself slipping.
"After what he's been through, Kelly you need to get him away, take him someplace he can clear his head." Jax reached over touching Kelly's shoulder, "I know you two are going through a rough patch, and I wished for everything I could give some great insight to make it better, but I don't." He felt her eyes dropping to the floor. Jax brushed his hand under Kelly's chin making her look at him. "I'm not planning on saying anything to anyone about what he did right now." He exhaled, "So, I'm speaking as VP, take Juice, go somewhere just the two of you and just forget all this shit."
"Okay, when I next see him, I'll bring it up." Kelly bit her lip, "For now I'm going to head back to Juan's and my place to try and see if I can find someplace for us to go a few days." She patted Jax's shoulder. "Buy me a souvenir."
With a chuckle Jax kissed Kelly's cheek, "I'll see what I can do." He smiled brushing a hand into her hair, "I mean it Kelly, you and Juice get away from here." He exhaled watching her smile.
"I'll do that," She took her keys from her pocket, "Be safe Jax."
"You too Kelly," Jax watched Kelly heading out the door; he knew that he was going to be fine, but with Kelly he wasn't so sure.
So many things were going through Juice's head as he stepped into the apartment, he couldn't think where to start, but first he wanted to take a shower and wash the dirty feeling off himself. Walking into the bathroom he headed for the shower cubical, but turned to see Kelly standing in the doorway, "I was taken in for another…"
"I know it wasn't that Juan," Kelly lent on the doorframe, "I went to the station this morning and you wasn't there, they said they released you." Kelly waved her hand studying over Juice, "So what's going on?" She asked trying to keep a level tone.
"Yeah, I needed to think, I…" He exhaled stepping towards Kelly, his hands reaching out touching her face. "I should have called you, but my head was all over the place, it's still not right." Juice felt Kelly holding onto him.
"It's okay baby," Kelly's voice was soothing, her hands running up and down his back, "Jax told me that we should get away for a few days." Her eyes were looking up into his eyes seeing the worry. "Juan, we should go, we need to get away for a few days and get a game plan."
Juice took a step back, this was the hardest thing. "We can't go anywhere Kelly." He now watched as Kelly's face looked concern. "I just need to try and prove to Jax that I'm not losing my footing."
Kelly bit her lip; she could tell this was something that was going to take some working on. "Fine," She exhaled running her hands into her hair.
Juice felt confused, "Fine?" He asked trying to work out the hidden meaning behind the simple word, "Fine that we don't go anywhere?"
"Fine," Kelly repeated, her hands moved to her pockets, her eyes looking around the bathroom, "I'll let you shower; I just popped by to pick some things up."
He didn't know what she meant, it was hard to feel any stability in his life, but when it came to Kelly she was the only constant to him. "Are you staying somewhere else?" He asked scared to hear the answer.
"I crashed at the compound again," Kelly nodded, "And with Jax going out of town." For a second Kelly stood still, she could tell what she was saying was frightening Juice. "I think we're hitting a hard place Juan. I'm not sure where we're going."
Juice inhaled, he took a step forward brushing his hands into her hair, and his eyes fixed on her with such an intensity he didn't know what he was going to do. "Don't leave me," His words were simple.
"I don't want to leave you Juan I don't." Kelly started as Juice pulled her into a hug, but her whole body felt weak in his arms. "It's just too much, everything it's scaring me." Her words haunting, but Juice could tell it was getting to the make or break point.
Letting Kelly go Juice brushed a few stray hairs behind her ear, "If this is what you have to do…" He hesitated, but he knew something had to give. "I'll let you choose whatever you do, just don't leave me."
It was the hardest thing; Kelly felt the weight of the world on her, "Juan." Her voice was softer, her hands reached out taking his. "I'm not bailing out on you," She whispered softly, her feet moving her closer to him. "I couldn't leave you if I tried." Her forehead resting on his, she felt his finger holding onto hers tightly. "I love you too much to walk out of this."
Juice wrapped her up in his arms; he felt her head resting neatly on his chest. For a few seconds he closed his eyes feeling her holding onto him tight. "I'm going to need you more than ever Kelly." His words horse, but Kelly couldn't help but bit her lip feeling the weight of all the secrets she kept.
"I'm not going anywhere Juan," She whispered pulling away from him. While her eyes searched his for any doubt, but it would never come. "We've got to get through this," He fingers moved over his cheek brushing softly.
"So what were you going to do?" He asked her, he could see from her face she had a lot on her mind.
Kelly placed her hands in her pockets rocking on her feet, "Nothing much." She exhaled looking up to his eyes. "I've just got a lot of crap to get through." Kelly added looking to the shower, "So I'm going to do that and I'll see you at the Club house later." She felt weird touching a hand to his chest backing out of the room.
"Yeah," Juice knew he still wanted to get the shower over and done with; he placed a hand to Kelly's cheek looking into her eyes. "I'll see you later." He whispered giving her one last kiss watching her walking out of the apartment.
Kelly moved through the hospital fast, it was one of the scariest moments as she found herself looking for the right room. Tara had grown on Kelly, it was hard for Kelly to even hate Tara, but hearing about someone trying to take her brought fear from Kelly's past that made her need to see Tara.
Seeing Margret exiting with another doctor, Kelly made a sharp stop, "Is she going to be okay?" Kelly asked Margret studying over the door clearly worried.
"We're going to be prepping her for surgery soon," Margret's voice was distressed, she couldn't believe what had happened to Tara, but looking over Kelly's eyes she could tell the girl was worried. "You can see her before we take her down to the O.R."
"Thank you," Kelly slipped by, she opened the door to see Tara staring at an x-ray of her hand, and Kelly could see it didn't look good.
Tara's eyes moved from the x-ray, her eyes studying over Kelly, "I don't know what's going to happen Kelly." She didn't even know what possessed her to say it, but the question was already written on Kelly's face.
"I just heard from Jax," Kelly moved into the room, she sat on the bed looking over Tara's face, "I mean what happened to you?"
Tara tried not to cry, but her eyes were welling up. "It was so fast, like every second of it felt like it was happening to someone else, not me." Tara blinked as tears fell from her face. "I'm not even sure what's going to happen now."
Kelly moved on the bed, her arms wrapped around Tara holding her lightly, she didn't want to hurt her anyone than she already was hurting. "I can't believe everything that's happening." She inhaled, her eyes looking over Tara, a part of her didn't like the feeling brewing in her stomach. She felt sick, and has been feeling sick for too long.
"I'm a VP's old lady," Tara starting with her voice shaking. "What next Kelly, my sons, my little boys are everything to me." Her tears falling down her face, she knew it was never going to be easy.
"Tara," Kelly brushed her hand over Tara's hair, she felt a lump in her throat. "I just…"
"No," Tara replied cutting Kelly off, her good hand touching Kelly's face, "If I can give you any sound advice. It would be to run, run and don't look back." Her voice was scared; Tara didn't want Kelly involved in the club. Everything she read from John Teller's letters, the way Gemma had been acting today. Everything was harder to push away.
"I can't run Tara," Kelly felt nervous speaking, but she bit her lip looking to the door. "Juan, he's become a big part of my life, and he won't leave."
"No, I guess he won't." Tara said touching Kelly's hand, she looked up to the woman Kelly had become, everything she never thought Kelly would be. "If you could stop loving him, would you?"
"I don't see that as an option Tara." Kelly said looking into Tara's eyes; the nerves were making her stomach knot up, her hands resting on her thighs. "There is nothing else in this world that can make me feel how Juan makes me feel."
"Yeah," Tara felt her eyes going to her hand, back to Kelly's face. "We're hopeless to the men who win our hearts…" She laughed thinking about how she was always going to be a fool for Jax.
Kelly tapped Tara's hand, "I guess you're going to be going into surgery soon." Kelly got to her feet looking around the room, finally her eyes falling on the x-ray. "I'd wish you luck, but I'm not one to much believe in that."
"I know what you mean," Tara's attention turned to the door as it opened, two nurses entering the room.
One of them smiled to Kelly, "We'll be prepping Doctor Knowles for surgery, you can wait in the waiting room, but we don't know how long she'll be in the O.R for."
Kelly exhaled; she walked over to Tara giving her a light kiss on the forehead. "I'll be waiting for you to come out of the O.R."
Tara nodded, "Okay," She watched Kelly leaving the room, she closed her eyes for a few seconds taking in the hopeless feeling of not knowing what was going to happen now. There was a big chance of nerve damage to her hand. That damage would determine if she'd ever preform another surgery ever again.
Kelly wondered through the halls of Saint Thomas, she kept thinking over the little things. It didn't feel like a month had passed, but since coming back from New York everything felt like one big blur of events.
Walking into the quiet chapel Kelly sat down looking up to the candles, her hands running through her hair feeling all the stress she was carrying. Her mind was going to what was worth hiding. Remember the look of the cabin, Piney dead, the letters, and most of all Tara and Jax planning on leaving.
While these thoughts plagued her, Kelly brushed her hand into her pocket taking out her cell phone; she glanced over the screen seeing the date. It wasn't a hard truth, but a thought she'd not thought about in a long time. Kelly touched her own face; she couldn't stop feeling the blink of tears behind her eyelid before she stood to her feet feeling that familiar sick feeling rising in her chest.
Juice didn't like the feeling sinking in his chest when he heard about Tara, but he knew that for all purposes he needed to keep up a front, he had to act like everything was normal. Well as normal as anything could be as he followed everyone into the hospital.
Starting to hate the sight of the place, he kept close to everyone, it was worse seeing Roosevelt come into view.
"Oh Christ!" Bobby snapped before anyone else could talk, he kept close to the group, but even Juice could see the sad expression on Roosevelt's face.
Roosevelt exhaled, "I see you found your lost friend." His voice calm, but he could tell they were all keeping a protective circle around Juice.
Chibs took a step forward, he didn't like Roosevelt, and he had a reason that he might be behind something. "Ey, no thanks to you." He muttered in a distasteful tone.
"Give me a minute?" Roosevelt's attention on Juice, he could feel all the other men glaring at him, it wasn't in his nature to be intimidated by a large group, but he felt every ones hateful glare.
"Back off!" Tig barked, he knew that whatever was going on, it was something that was tearing his family apart, making everything more complicated.
Juice knew these men would stand by him, but not all of them knew the full story, "It's cool." He patted Chibs shoulder, he didn't want a scene, plus he knew after this he would need to find Kelly anyway. "I'll be right there."
Roosevelt watched as all the other members started to walk away, they left only himself and Juice. He looked to the other man knowing all the crap he was being pulled through, all the stuff he had yet to do.
Both men took a step to one side, Juice kept watching Roosevelt waiting for him to say something, anything to get this conversation over with. "What do you want?" Juice finally snapped. He kept a look out in case Kelly would walk by.
"I want to apologise. I am getting tossed around by this TH as much as you. The way I've conducted myself, I'm sorry." Roosevelt spoke softly, he could see the hesitation in Juice, and knew it was harder on him.
"A little late for that now," Juice said, he kept looking around the hospital corridors. The feeling of always being on the lookout, and always feeling like he's being watched.
"Doesn't mean I can man up and tell you I was wrong," Roosevelt added, he kept trying with all his might not to stare at the violent bruise on Juice's neck.
Juice exhaled, "Yeah, okay." He tried to calm himself down now to listen to Roosevelt.
"I know what happened to Tara; if she needs anything let me know." Roosevelt kept looking over Juice's face.
Juice glanced down the hall to see Kelly walking out of a room, her face looked pale as she spotted Juice with Roosevelt making her way over. "What do you want?" Her voice was rough.
"Kelly, I've got it handled," Juice pulled her close to him as she made her way over, "He's worried about Tara."
Kelly bit her lip looking to Roosevelt; she had too much on her own plate to be worried about him. "Well she's out of surgery. It doesn't look good…" Her voice drifted off, she looked up to Juice face.
Roosevelt exhaled, "Just remember, anything…" He walked away from the couple, he didn't know it for sure, but he could tell that what has been happening with Juice. It had a big strain on his relationship with Kelly.
Juice brushed a hand into Kelly's hair, "You okay babe?" He asked looking down to her eyes; he could always tell when something was bothering her.
Kelly nodded, "Yeah, just everything that's going on, the stress is finally making me feel sick." Her hand brushed down his arm; she didn't want to give him more to worry about as she glanced to where Roosevelt went. "So we are going to talk about that? Or avoid it like we've been doing most things?"
"I can't talk about it right now Kelly," Juice ran a hand into Kelly's hair, he looked into her eyes knowing that this was the one thing he couldn't tell her about, it was hard to imagine how she'd react, but for now he tried to give her a small smile, "Maybe later."
"Okay," Kelly inhaled, she looked around the hospital knowing everything was going to shit, it was going bad and there was nothing she could do to stop it from getting worse. "I think I'm going to head home and get some rest." She let out a yawn watching Juice carefully. "You going to be coming home tonight?"
"Yeah," Juice kept brushing his hand into her hair; he took in the details of her face, how tired she really looked. "I'll see you when I get home." He kissed her softly before watching her walking away.
