AN:

Long time no see, huh? I'm trying y'all, I promise.

I am still not Nintendo. Sadly.

When: A month and a half after the wedding

Who: Zelda

Rating: M (things are discussed)

A guest requested this. Have fun, y'all.

The first time she asked was when Link and I went to visit the Gerudo after our wedding.

The second time was when she came to visit about a week later for a ball meant to celebrate my father's birthday. Though it ended up being mostly about showing Link and I off. Apparently, there had not been enough of that at our wedding.

The third time was in a letter.

And I know that the fourth is going to come any second now.

"Marriage is treating you well. You have not looked so relaxed since you were a child." Urbosa smirks. "Though your new stress-relief outlet probably has more to do with that than anything else."

"Urbosa!"

"Am I wrong?" I huff in reply. "No, apparently I'm not."

"I hate you."

"I'm happy for you." She laughs. "I'm happy that you're happy."

"I am happy. He makes me happy."

"In every way?"

"I am going to stop talking to you if you keep this up." I threaten.

"No, you won't."

"Probably not."

"Just tell me."

"And what precisely are you going to do with this information? What do you gain by learning about my wedding night?" I huff.

"Blackmail. Also, I just witnessed something that I would like some answers to."

"What did you witness?!" Oh Hylia, what did she see? What could she have seen? We were inside except for when the stars began falling and when we retrieved our star fragment.

"A husband dragging his wife back inside for another round." AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

"That did not happen." Well, not immediately at least. We spent a long time just talking and holding each other before either of us actually wanted to…

"I'm pretty sure that's what I saw. You were outside for about two minutes, and then he picked you up and took you back inside. If another round did not occur, what did?"

"We talked for a while, enjoying our time alone."

"Just talked?"

"Mostly."

"So there was another-"

"I did not specify how the rest of the time was spent. We do have to sleep at some point." I did not mean to give in like this. I did not mean to give in at all, yet here we are.

"What about before the stars? What happened then?"

"Things."

"Dirty things?"

"THINGS!" I feel my eyes go wider involuntarily.

"Did you enjoy said things?"

"Yes, I did." I give up! She's going to pester me about this until she dies. She smirks at me, well aware of my decision.

"What happened after that door closed?"

"If I tell you, you have to tell me how father reacted."

"He didn't for a moment, just kept staring at the door. It was honestly rather funny. He looked so scandalized when I whistled. He told the guards to move towards the ends of the hallway instead of right at the doors. Poor Alisse had no clue what was going on."

"She's twelve years old!"

"And one month."

"I would have some concerns if she already knew about all of that."

"Anyways, we left not too long after."

"We heard you leave."

"Did you two just stand there?"

"Yes. Did you expect us to just jump on each other the minute we were alone? Our parents were just on the other side of the door!"

"I know you two. I've chaperoned many an outing just so that the two of you could advance your physical relationship."

"That's different and you know it."

"How? How is it different?"

"It was different because sex is different than kissing."

"You finally said it!" She exclaims. "I am so proud of you."

"Goodbye." I stand up and walk towards the door, but she grabs me and pulls me back.

"Oh no, you don't. you have to uphold your end of the deal."

"Fine. We changed and ate and drank champagne after that. After we finished the bottle he…um…he…" Her stare and the subject matter make me squirm. "He kissed me. We sat by the fire for a while, just kissing." I don't like the look on her face. "A little while later he carried me to our room and it happened." Please be satisfied.

"It, huh?"

"Yes, it."

"You said the word a minute ago."

"Yes, I did."

"You're not gonna say it again?"

"No, and if you force me to, I'm never speaking to you again."

"Was it good?"

"Yes."

"You were satisfied with what your husband did?"

"Yes."

"Okay." Wait.

"What?"

"As long as you were satisfied, I have nothing to say."

"Wait, so all of this was to make sure that my husband is satisfying me in bed?"

"Yes."

"Why? Why did you drag it out like that?"

"To be fair, I did ask if he made you happy in every way before all of this today, you were the one who didn't answer then and just made it harder on yourself. And as for why, I wanted to make sure that I didn't need to kill him."

"I hate you."

"No, you don't."

"Yes, I do. It was completely unnecessary for you to drag it out like that."

"It was fun."