I do NOT own Death Note!
OMG...I'm so sorry to everyone that I havent posted an update in like forever...I'm been reading a lot . I know not much of an excuse. Everytime I tried to start this part of the story I would get like one sentence and then I would get stuck. It was frustrating as hell...but here is what I have. I know it stops in an annoying place...but thats all I could get out tonight. I'll try to write more soon. But here is the beginning of the next series of events for you all to ponder over for a while. Enjoy and once again that you all for the wonderful reviews!!
Chapter 11 - Darkness
Groaning, Mello rolled over in the warmth of the covers and reached for his clock to see the time. It took him more time then it should have for him to realize that his hand was still across the bed instead of hanging off it. He sat up slowly, his head spinning with the movement. He blinked his eyes open in the darkness, the only light coming from the moon shining in behind the heavy curtains over the ceiling to floor windows. His heart sped up when he realized that he had no idea where he was. This wasn't his room.
Mello threw the blankets back and put his feet on the floor. He fought back a wave of panic as his head spun violently and he almost fell out of the bed. He sat and let his head settle before he tried to stand. It took more effort then it should have and his knees hurt where the skin was pulling the stitches tight. The last thing he remembered was the doctor giving him a shot, telling him it would help him avoid getting an infection. Then he remembered only being tired. A flash of anger burst through his fear when he realized that the doctor had drugged him up so Roger could get him away from Near.
On his feet, Mello took a few careful steps forward. When his head didn't spin again he walked with more confidence until he reached one of the doors in the room. The bathroom. Mello breathed a sighed of relief as he splashed cold water on his face and it seemed to push back the rest of the fog in his head. He stared at himself in the mirror, noting how pale he looked, dark circles under his bloodshot eyes. He looked like someone with a serious hangover. Or someone in shock. Since he hadn't been drinking, he knew he must have been in shock.
After splashing more water on his face, Mello left the bathroom and went through the other door. He blinked in the light coming from the small lamp sitting on the table next to the couch where Roger lay sleeping. He felt some of the tension leave him. He knew where he was now. Roger must have put him in his own bed so he could keep an eye on him. But Mello didn't want to be there, he would rather be in his own bed.
Mello turned toward the door to go to his room and stopped just in front of it. He looked down at the side table next to the door and stared at Roger's keys. He rolled the thought of taking Roger's car and going back to Near over in his mind. He let it go after a while. Even if he could manage getting to the car, he wouldn't be able to leave the grounds. The gates could only be opened by a numbered password keyed into the gate controls and Mello didn't know the code. He sighed and turned the handle of the door, stopping again with it only a few inches open. He looked down at the keys again.
Roger shifted slightly in his sleep as Mello pulled the door open enough for him to slip out of. He quickly closed it behind him before he could make any more noise. He looked around the hall, trying to judge where he was. He had never been to Roger's private rooms before. Since he didn't recognize anything, he turned right and headed to the end of the hall and down the stairs.
Mello stopped when he finally recognized one of the halls. Matt's room was just down the hall, third door on the left from where he was. Anger ripped through him like red hot blades. Mello had forgotten all about Matt's involvement in the panic of seeing Near in the hospital. Mello turned and headed down the hall towards Matt's room. His hand in his pocket was gripping Roger's keys so tightly it hurt. He had taken them in the hopes of getting something to eat since he had missed both lunch and dinner. But now he had another use for them.
Mello unlocked Matt's door and closed it behind him, relocking the two sided bolt lock after closing the door behind him. The room was almost completely black. Only a thin sliver of moonlight shone around the edge of one of the heavy curtains. Mello stood and let his eyes slowly adjust to the darkness. He could see the faint outline of Matt laying on the bed, curled into a tight ball with his arms around his knees. Mello moved to stand beside and look down at the boy who used to be his only friend in the world. The love for him as a friend now turned to a burning, seething ball of hatred in his stomach.
Matt whimpered in his sleep and shivered. Mello ground his teeth together. He wanted to hurt him. He wanted to kill him for what he did to Near. He wanted to make him suffer. He wanted him in pain.
Mello grabbed a handful of Matt's hair and yanked him up onto his knees to face him in a movement so harsh Mello felt clumps of hair fall from between his fingers. Matt cried out and lifted his hands to defend himself before he was even fully awake. His eyes were wide when his face stopped inched from Mello's eyes. He took a shaky breath and lowered his hands. The fury in those blue eyes told him more then any words that nothing he could do or say would stop Mello from hurting him. His eyes filled with tears as Mello did nothing but look at him.
Mello shook him harshly, earning him a satisfying moan of pain. "What gives you the right to cry, Matt?" Matt whimpered as Mello shook him again. His head was a solid throb of pain radiating from where Mello's hand held a death grip on his hair. "You tell me. You tell me what was going through that fucking head of yours when you thought that hurting Near would make me happy with you in any fucking way. You told me you loved me. What part of hurting Near like that would EVER make me love you?" Mello shook him again as he all but screamed the last into his face.
Matt took a shaking breath and closed his eyes. "I didn't mean to hurt him. I only wanted to scare him a little. I told him I wanted him to stay away from you. I swear to you, Mello, I didn't go there planning to hurt him. But seeing him standing there without any clothes on, knowing you had just been with him." Matt took a breath that turned into a sob and felt fresh tears spill hot down his cheeks. "Then he said that he loves you. I don't even remember throwing him. I was just so angry."
"Angry? You had no right to be angry with him. He did nothing, Matt. I was the one that started it. If you had to be angry with anyone, it should have been me." Mello's voice was barely above a whisper now as he fought the need to cry, scream, and kill Matt all at the same time. "Why didn't you hurt me? Why didn't you hurt me, Matt?"
Matt tried to shake his head but Mello only tightened his grip. "I could never hurt you, Mello."
"You think that hurting Near would hurt me? You almost killed him you fucking asshole. He is laying in a hospital bed with tubes hanging out of him. With his body cut open to take out all the glass. They had to take out a piece of his intestines, you fucking heartless bastard. He has stitches all over his body, his head. You crushed his hard, broke his arm. For what, Matt? For the chance that I might want you because I cant have him right now?"
"Oh, God. I didn't mean to hurt him." Matt started to sob as Mello stared at him with death in his eyes. "I wont fight you, Mello. I deserve to have you kill me." Mello let go of his hair and he fell into a heap on the bed and pulled his knees up. He shook his head back and forth over and over. "I wont fight you."
"I'm not going to kill you, Matt. I want to, oh God how I want to kill you for what you did to him. But I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to hurt you. And then, when Near is back, I'm going to watch you suffer seeing me with him, knowing that you lost any chance you might have had with me. I love him, Matt. But you know as well as I do that sometimes love doesn't last. Who knows what might have happened if we had decided to end it someday. But you," Mello balled his hands into fists and drove one into Matt's back since he was still curled into a ball. "You I will never love."
