Chapter 11: Bittersweet Symphony

Chapter title and soundtrack: "Bittersweet Symphony" by The Verve.


Santana walked across the lawn and around the side of the house to Elinor's door. Holding the bottle of wine in her right hand, she knocked with the left. The door swung open. There was Brittany, wearing pink lingerie under a ruffled white apron.

"Hi, Brittany!" Santana chirped. "You look great!"

"Thanks, you look great too! You know I love you in purple," Brittany replied, taking the bottle of wine from Santana's hand. "Come in."

Santana walked in and set down her purse. "What's for dinner?" she asked.

"Ice cream," smiled Brittany. "It's so hot today."

"You needed to wear an apron to make ice cream?" Santana asked.

"No, I just like this apron…" Brittany mused. "So what first, ice cream or wine?"

"I guess that's not the best combo, is it?" Santana pondered. "You choose, Britt."

"Ice cream, definitely. Do you want vanilla or chocolate?"

"Vanilla to start," Santana answered.

Santana watched as Brittany turned and went into the kitchen. She heard the clatter of dishes as Brittany took down two bowls.

"Do you know where Elinor keeps her spoons?" Brittany asked.

"Top drawer to the left of the sink," Santana replied, setting down her purse and taking off her shoes. She stripped down to her underwear and sat on the loveseat. She couldn't stop smiling.

Brittany came back into the living room with two bowls of ice cream. She sat on the floor and began to eat. Santana scooted off the loveseat and joined Brittany on the floor.

"So what did you want to do tonight, Britt?" Santana asked, spooning ice cream into her mouth.

"I kind of want to stay in. We could watch Cruel Intentions and drink that wine."

"That sounds fun," Santana said. "But we don't have to watch that one. I know it makes you sad, because he dies just when he turns nice."

"Don't give away the ending!" Brittany exclaimed with a mouth full of ice cream.

"But you've already seen it…" Santana said with an amused frown.

"Still. I like to pretend I haven't every time."

"You're sweet for suggesting that one," Santana said with a smile. "But I don't want to watch a movie…"

"Ok. We could go to Gray's?" Brittany said, taking another bite.

"No, I want to stay in, too," Santana said. "And do this."

She took a bite of ice cream and leaned in to kiss Brittany. She ran her tongue over Brittany's bottom lip. The cold of the ice cream and the warmth of their lips mixed together as they tasted the ice cream in each other's mouths; vanilla in Santana's and chocolate in Brittany's.

"We make a swirl," Brittany grinned as Santana pulled away. Her expression turned wide-eyed as she realized the ambiguity of her statement. "I meant the ice cream! Sorry, that sounded racist…" Brittany trailed off, blushing.

"I know what you meant," Santana chuckled. "I want another swirl," she murmured, offering Brittany a spoonful of ice cream. Brittany licked the spoon clean before leaning back in to kiss Santana.

Santana took a spoonful of ice cream and spread it on Brittany's neck, where it started sliding down towards her cleavage. Santana licked it up as she felt Brittany shiver. Once Santana had licked the ice cream off Brittany, Brittany spooned ice cream onto Santana and licked it clean. Then Brittany jumped up and bounded into the kitchen. She returned with a plate of strawberries, only to continue into the bedroom. As Brittany reached the doorway, she turned and looked back at Santana. "Bring the ice cream," she said, with a glint in her eye that made Santana groan.

Santana grabbed the bowls and followed Brittany into the bedroom.

Brittany knelt on the bed in her pink lingerie, having discarded the apron. Santana could see a drip of ice cream she had missed on the swell of Brittany's breast. The plate of strawberries sat on the sheets in front of Brittany. Brittany picked one up, pulled off the leaves, and put it between her teeth. Santana set the ice cream on the table next to the bed and grinned. She knelt in front of Brittany, put her lips around the strawberry, sinking her teeth into it and biting off half. She chewed while Brittany bent forward and slid the remaining half down Santana's neck.

Santana swallowed. "I missed you, Britt," she sighed, tilting her head to expose more of her neck to Brittany, who raised her lips back to Santana, offering her the other half of the strawberry. Santana took it in her mouth.

"Not as much as I missed you," murmured Brittany as she licked the strawberry juice off Santana's neck, lavishing extra attention on the spot that made Santana's breath catch a bit.

Santana felt understood from her head to her toes when she was with Brittany, and not just in her body. There was something spiritual about being together. To be held and seen and cherished by another person is a miraculous experience, and Santana knew that this kind of connection was one in a million. As Brittany's tongue licked the last of the juice from Santana's neck, Santana sighed and smiled, running her fingers through Brittany's hair. Brittany gently pressed Santana back onto the pillows.

Santana delighted in the feeling of Brittany's strong, warm body on top of hers. Just as she was adjusting to having Brittany on top of her, kissing her, Brittany lifted herself back up onto all fours and reached for the vanilla ice cream. She spooned some onto Santana's stomach, licking it off, then kissing Santana again. As Santana tasted the vanilla, she reached around Brittany and unclasped her bra. She tossed the bra onto the floor and returned her fingers to Brittany's hair. Santana ran her tongue between Brittany's lips, wanting to taste as much vanilla and Brittany as she could. She slid her hands down Brittany's sides and pushed her panties down. Brittany sat up, removed the panties, placed the plate of strawberries on the bedside table and lowered herself down onto Santana again. Santana could feel the stickiness where the ice cream had been on her stomach moments ago, now paired with the wetness between Brittany's legs on her thigh. She wrapped her arms around Brittany and reunited their lips. Their arms and legs and lips tangled, mussing sheets and hair. Santana rolled Brittany over, knocking a pillow off the bed. Brittany unwrapped her arms from Santana only long enough to remove Santana's bra and panties, then they returned to their tangled, breathless embrace.

Santana became lost in the taste of Brittany's skin mixed with the ice cream and strawberries, the heat where their skin touched, and the wetness between them. More than anything, Santana felt something in her ribcage, alive and breathing, delighting in Brittany's presence, offering up a song to the night. As the song reached its climax, Santana felt her body peak in harmony with Brittany's. As she released into the ecstasy, she felt Brittany tense and let go too, their breathing in sync, though ragged. Her hands grasped for every part of Brittany she could touch, wanting to extend the sensation of soaring together as long as possible. She felt Brittany's heart pounding with hers. She held on for as long as she could, until finally they were forced back down to earth.

"Mmm… I missed that," murmured Brittany once their breathing had steadied, nuzzling Santana's shoulder.

"Me too," sighed Santana, kissing the top of Brittany's head sleepily.

Santana reached her hand out for Brittany's pinkie, but she couldn't grasp it. She looked at her own hand and saw it slowly dissolving into thin air. Her sleepiness vanished.

"Santana, where are you going?" Brittany said, looking up with an expression of panic on her face.

"I don't know!" Santana gasped. She could no longer feel Brittany's head on her shoulder. She was retreating into a dark tunnel, as if pulled by the waist.

"I miss you…" Brittany became blurry, the blonde of her hair and the blue of her eyes fading into gray.

"What's happening?" Santana cried as darkness closed around her. "Help, Britt!"

"Where are you, Santana?" Brittany called from far away.

"I don't know!" Santana yelled, unable to see or feel anything grounding her body.

If Artie and I were to ever break up… Brittany's voice echoed from far away.

"I don't want to leave!"

and I'm lucky enough that you're still single…

"Brittany!" Santana's scream echoed in the dark tunnel that she could now tell was sealed.

Santana awoke with a jolt. She gripped the sheets below her, trying to ground herself. Her heart was pounding. It had been so real. A few minutes ago, she had been in this exact bed with Brittany. But now there were no sticky spots on the sheets where ice cream had dripped. She looked at the bedside table; there were no bowls of melted ice cream, no plate of strawberries. On the floor her purple bra was next to Elinor's blue one, not Brittany's pink one. She turned her head and saw Elinor's back was rising and falling under a thin sheet. Santana scrambled out of the bed and looked around the room in a panic. She reached for her clothes, but stopped. No, don't run away, she told herself. It was just a dream. You're okay, you're safe here. Instead of heading for the door, she walked into the kitchen. She stared out the window as she got a glass of water and drank it in big gulps. She took several deep breaths, set down the glass, and walked back to the bedroom. She lay down, eyes untired. She pulled the covers tightly around her. After a moment, the loneliness of the silent room became unbearable. She rolled over and put her arm around Elinor, being careful not to wake her. Santana clenched her stomach and chest tight, trying not to move or make a sound as her tears fell.

Santana didn't know it, but across town, Brittany was lying awake in a dark bedroom too. Only she was alone.