The Hot Springs

Chapter Eleven.

This chapter contains Graphic material not suitable for anyone under the age of 17. Contains Adult Language and Sexual Situations. Viewer discretion is advised. You have been warned.

This particular chapter contains Drug use. If you do not agree with this you may skip the chapter. It will affect the storyline, so do so at your own discretion.

I do not own Skyrim, or any of the characters except my own OC Dragonborn.

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21st Sun's Height 4E 201

We left immediately after the confrontation in the Night Mother's Chamber. Cicero was quiet the entire ride, which was extremely strange for him. He was usually humming and whistling and making comments about death and murder.

And he didn't make not one on the journey down. Something was bothering him, and I had a good idea what it was.

When I exited the Sanctuary, Cicero approached me and pressed some herbs against my cheek. He very gently cleaned the gash with a warm cloth. He was silent, his teeth clenched together, jaw flexing. His face was hard and unreadable.

He tended to my shoulder as well, and made me bite on a piece of leather, so he could sterilize the wound and then cauterize it. He picked up his dagger that he let rest in a small fire, to help sterilize the blade before using it to close the wound.

I screamed around the bit as he pressed the red-hot blade against the swollen flesh, the pain nearly making me black out. But he held me down and whispered sweet nothings into my ear, trying to soothe me, caressing my hair and kissing my neck softly, in-between words. Every touch was delicate and caring. He bandaged me up, and helped me up onto Stranger. He carefully straddled the horse behind me, his arms circled around my waist so he could grasp the reins.

It was clear to me that he felt badly about attacking me earlier. Especially now that the Night Mother had named me Listener.

I was the most precious thing to him. His Listener. He had waited thirteen years to find a Listener for the Night Mother and often broke down because he thought he was failing our Mother. And now here I was. It was the highest honor I had recieved in my entire life.

Well, excluding being Dragonborn. I was born with that gift.

I couldn't imagine waiting thirteen years for someone, day in and day out. It was an insane amount of time. But loyal Cicero was indeed insane, wasn't he? He took his role as Keeper very, very seriously. The marks on my face further proved that.

I wonder if being the Listener would pull us closer?

XxxxxX

When we arrived, Cicero helped me off Stranger by gently lifting me from the saddle by my ribs. His brows furrowed as he sat me down, worried that he had somehow hurt me again.

Before we left, I put on a backless dress, allowing my shoulder to be free of confinement. I didn't want anything to put pressure on it. The pain was already almost unbearable.

I kissed Cicero's cheek briefly, and then rested my forehead against his chest. He sighed, wrapped his arms around me, and held me against him. I closed my eyes and silently listened to his heartbeat.

We just made it to the Hot Springs after a six hour ride, and I was beyond exhausted. It was nearing ten when he started to unpack our things. Stranger wandered nearby, nibbling on the sprouts of grass growing on the shore.

Cicero pitched our tent on one of the small islands. It was about ten by twelve foot, and was totally surrounded by the hot water. He took his time to make sure everything was in the right place, as per usual. He was very particular and precise about everything. Having tended to the Night Mother for fifteen years, he always followed an exact agenda when it came to her bi-weekly oiling. Everything had to be done in the exact order it was depicted in the Keeping Tomes.

I watched him as he rolled out our sleeping furs over a pile of hay and then placed our pillows on top of one another. He slipped out of the tent and slinked over to where I was sitting, his expression still worrisome. I had my feet soaking in the hot water already. I wanted to get in, but my shoulder was throbbing still, and the pain was agonizing. I didn't want to risk the water irritating it.

Cicero knelt beside me and licked the entire right side of my face. I giggled, and pushed him playfully away from me.

At least he seemed to be in a better mood now.

"Don't lick me. If I can't bite, then you can't lick." I teased, playfully.

Cicero pouted at me, and then raised his eyebrows, a smirk slowly spread across his face.

"Are you sure Cicero cannot lick? I know something Cicero would like to lick…"

He leaned into the curve of my neck and nipped the skin, sending waves of pleasure throughout my body. I shuddered, enjoying how strongly my body reacted to his touch.

"Cicero… stop." I groaned.

I wasn't sure how to show him that I wanted him, but I didn't feel well and just wanted to cuddle; without rejecting him and sending him into an episode.

I apparently didn't protest enough, because he nipped me again, and growled as he slid his hand into the bust of my dress to grope my breast. I moaned and bit my lower lip. The memory of his hands on me earlier was awakening my arousal.

I made myself gently push him away from me.

I didn't want him to feel rejected, but I was hurting so badly that I just couldn't give him the attention and dedication that he deserved.

"I'm in pain, Cicero." I murmured, as I gently touched his face.

He closed his eyes and leaned into my hand.

"Cicero understands. Cicero will always understand," he muttered.

He nuzzled the palm of my hand and kissed it. I blushed, still unaccustomed to him being so gentle.

"Cicero feels so terrible for how he treated you." he said, his voice low. He opened his eyes and his gaze met mine. I furrowed my brows, worried that he was going to cry.

"Forgive Cicero. I couldn't bear it if you didn't." He paused and his lips twitched.

When I noticed that tears were starting to well up in his eyes, I threw myself at him and knocked him to the ground.

"Dont. Don't cry." I whispered as I kissed his face. I buried my nose in his chest. "I know why you reacted that way. I shouldn't have done what I did and defiled her coffin. I swear to Sithis, that if Astrid hadn't commanded me to go eavesdrop on you, I would have never been in her chamber, in the first place."

Cicero grunted, and sucked in a breath. "If the Listener wants Cicero to reply, she will have to stop squeezing him so hard." he said, his voice strained and almost breathless.

I giggled, and let my grip on him loosen. He laughed at me, and wiped his eyes with the back of his gloved hand.

"Why did Astrid want you to spy on Cicero? I wasn't doing anything wrong." he said, his voice sounded like he was whole lot younger.

I pursed my lips, trying to think of the best way to explain it to him.

"She was paranoid." I shrugged. "She thought that you were conspiring against her and the Sanctuary. She heard you talking to the Night Mother and assumed you were plotting with someone else. It doesn't help that you lock the Night Mother's Chamber when you talk to her."

Cicero stared at me, he looked confused.

"Why? Cicero cannot have interruptions while he is speaking to Mother. Surely, the Listener understands."

I nodded, and sat up so I could straddle his lap. He was still sitting up with legs outstretched and his arms behind him, propping him up.

I rubbed his chest absentmindedly as I spoke, "Astrid will never understand your relationship with Mother. She thinks that the Old Ways are dead, and that she's going to be the boss forever." I glanced up at him, and he smiled at me. His eyes were half lidded. "She had no reason to worry before, but Mother will speak through me now, what do we need her for?"

Cicero closed his eyes and kissed my injured cheek very gently.

"Cicero has something for your pain in the tent. Would you like me to fetch it?" he avoided my question.

Maybe he was too worried about me to pay attention to what I was saying, but I expected him to agree with me about Astrid. And honestly I took a bit of offence to him ignoring me.

"Sure. Are you purposely avoiding talking to me about Astrid?" I questioned, my voice irritated. I could see the mischievous look in his eye as he chuckled.

"Absolutely not. Saphira just needs to relax. We are not here to talk about Astrid. Are we?"

Well, he had a point there.

I blushed, and shook my head meekly. I climbed off of him so he could stand up. He stretched his back and then leaned down to kiss my forehead before going back into the tent.

A small part of me reveled in the fact that we were here together. It was pretty romantic out here, just the two of us. Vorstag and I never did things like this. He wasn't the romantic or sensual type. He was shy, but he was still a Nord. It was usually just down to brass tacks. You like me, I like you; let's get married. Skyrim was a hard, and often, short life. There was usually no time to 'date', so to speak.

And here I was with feelings for an Imperial. They had a privileged life, with plenty of time and money to take things slow and easy. It involved courting and dating and then, eventually, marriage. It was pretty much the exact opposite of how I grew up learning about love.

Nords fell in love fast, because that was normal. Imperials took their time, because that what was normal for them. I knew I had feelings for Cicero, but I followed the Nords approach to love. How would I know Cicero felt the same way, so soon?

I would just have to ask him.

It wasn't surprising to me that I already felt this way about Cicero, but, I was still a little disappointed in myself.

What was wrong with me? Could I really have fallen in love with Cicero? And what if I told him how I felt, and he didn't feel the same way?

Just then Cicero snuck up behind me and kissed my neck, causing me to squeal. He laughed, his breath tickled my neck. It felt like he heard my thoughts.

"What was Saphira thinking about, to look so somber? Surely you're not dwelling on Astrid still."

I craned my neck so I could look at him. His golden eyes were fixed on me. A crooked grin played across his lips, his teeth were beautifully white. How could I not love this man? Everything he did, from his crooked smile, dark humor and irresistible personality, made me feel like I was whole. It was like he was a part of me, almost like my shadow. I wouldn't feel like I was complete, without him by my side.

"Cicero, I need to tell you something."

"Shh, after this. Saphira needs to relax." He whispered, as he stretched his hand out, producing a small purple vial decorated with blue stones. "For your pain."

I was mildly horrified to say the least. I nearly slapped it out of his hand.

"Is that skooma?!" I shrieked, as I scooted away from him.

Cicero cocked his head to the side, confused.

"For your pain." He repeated, flatly. And all I could do was stare at him, mouth agape, as I shook my head.

"I-I can't take that. It's illegal Cicero."

This made him laugh.

"Murder is illegal Saphira. Does that stop us? Take it, I promise you'll feel better. Then Cicero can make you feel something else." He waggled his eyebrows at me.

I bit my lip, uncertain what I should do.

Where did he even get this?

I thought back to the Loreius Farm, the first time I had met Cicero. The man, Vantus, had accused Cicero of transporting contraband, weapons or Skooma.

Maybe he was right. Maybe Cicero did have Skooma in the back of his wagon.

"Where did you get this, Cicero?" I asked, as I watched him toss the small vial back and forth, from hand to hand.

Cicero snorted, "I had a couple bottles stashed away for times like this. Drink it, I can't stand to watch you suffer anymore." He offered it to me once again.

I snatched the small vial from him, and used my teeth to rip out the cork. I downed it in one swallow. It tasted sort of like vanilla and something else that I couldn't quite place. It was very strong and very sweet and almost had the same consistency as honey.

Cicero's eyes went wide and he just sat there, his hand still outstretched.

"I wouldn't have drank all of it…" he said, quietly.

My stomach dropped to my knees and I immediately felt nauseous.

"What?!" I shouted.

I scrambled to my feed and nearly tripped over a root in the mud.

"Should… should I throw up?" I asked him, nearly screaming.

Cicero started to laugh, the hold-your-stomach-cause-it-hurts, kind of laugh. I stared at him, my chest was heaving.

This was it. I was going to die from drinking skooma and Cicero was laughing at me.

I sat back down on the ground, not knowing what I should do for the second time in the last five minutes. I bit my lip to keep it from trembling.

I wanted to cry… I wanted to punch Cicero in the face. I couldn't believe he was laughing at me. I trusted him and he thought it was funny!

Cicero stopped laughing and pulled a second bottle out of a pocket inside his motley.

"Cicero was kidding! Haha, you should have seen your face!" His voice was light and playful.

He opened the bottle with his teeth and drank the liquid, then, he tossed the small vial behind him and crawled over to me. I scowled at him.

"It's not funny…" I muttered, as he laid his head on my lap.

"It might be. You'll feel it soon." He giggled as his hand slid up my thigh.

He was right.

A warm sensation blossomed in my chest, and started to envelop my body. And then it was so sudden, and so strong, that I gasped for air. It was like the wind was knocked out of me. My chest started to burn and my vision blurred. I reached out, grasped Cicero's shoulder and tried to ground myself.

And then just as sudden as the burning started, it was replaced by a wave of euphoria. It felt so good that it made me moan out loud.

Cicero pulled me close to him. "You feel it?" He questioned as he held me.

It was a hard feeling to explain. I felt happy, like ecstatically happy. I felt so good. And my shoulder wasn't hurting at all.

My head felt like it was in a haze, almost like after I had an orgasm, but better. No wonder this stuff was illegal. It wasn't natural to feel this way, but I was really enjoying it.

I nuzzled Cicero's chest, loving the feeling of elation I was experiencing. Cicero sighed, lifted me into his arms and stood up. I instinctively wrapped my arms around his neck. I bit his shoulder, gently. I didn't know why, but I loved to bite and be bitten. For some reason, it turned me on.

"Hey!" He protested. "I thought I said no biting. Doing skooma does not give you a free hall pass, Listener."

I giggled, and swung my legs back and forth as they dangled over his arm. He watched me, and chuckled under his breath.

"You're liking it, aren't you?" He said, in-between his laughter. I nodded and bit my lip, suddenly very aroused.

I needed him right now.

"Fuck me, Cicero" I whispered, sensually. I gave him my best sultry look.

His face went blank and his eyes widened. I watched his Adam's apple move as he swallowed.

"You don't have to ask Cicero twice." He muttered back to me as a smirk touched his lips.

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22nd Sun's Height 4E 201 3:11 am

I woke up in the dead of night. It was maybe three am.

I let out a long, low groan as my head started to throb.

What happened?

The last thing I remembered was being really out of it, in Cicero's arms. I glanced over my shoulder, and there he was. Sleeping peacefully with his mouth open, drooling all over his arm. His face was relaxed, his scarlet hair mussed, and in his face.

Gods, he was handsome.

I smiled as I watched him sleep, he had his left arm across my waist and his right cradling his head.

I tried to remember what we did last night, but couldn't. I remembered drinking the Skooma. And Cicero carrying me to the tent, but it was like the rest of my memory was blank.

I rolled over, and the movement caused him to stir, and pull me closer. I cuddled up to him, and pulled the blanket back up to my shoulders. As I was pulling it towards me, I noticed that we were both naked... and covered in blood.

I shook Cicero awake. He jerked up and pulled his blade out of nowhere.

"Who's there?!" He shouted, incoherent. He shook his head vigorously and tried to focus on me.

"Oh! Oh, Spahira! Cicero is sorry! I thought you were someone else."

He lowered his dagger, leaned in, and kissed me softly on the lips. I decided that questions would have to wait.

I buried my fingers in his hair, slipped my tongue into his mouth, and kissed him back. As always, he tasted of Sweet Rolls. He made a satisfied sound, and pushed me down so he could climb on top of me.

He broke the kiss and started to nip me gently across my chest.

"Still not satisfied, hmm?" He murmured between kisses.

I moaned, and wrapped my legs around his waist. I could feel his hardness against my leg already.

"What happened last night, Cicero?" I whispered as he pulled my left nipple into his mouth. I arched up against him as his tongue swirled around the hard nubbin of flesh. It sent shivers down my spine.

He peeked up at me, freeing my nipple with a soft sucking sound.

"A lot." He said, matter-of-factly.

I furrowed my brows at him. And he smirked at me.

"You were really high," He chuckled. "We must have made love at least eight couldn't get enough of me."

He put emphasis on the last word by sliding his cock across my clit. I gasped, it was so hot.

What did he mean eight times? Surely it wasn't that many…

And then I remembered. It really was eight times.

Cicero gently laid me down on the sleeping furs, careful not to hurt my shoulder. We were naked in less than a minute.

Little known side effect of Skooma: you better have someone to take out all that energy and euphoria on.

Cicero started by kissing my lips, then my neck and shoulder, and then my chest and breasts. He kissed down my belly and lingered momentarily on the deep scar that started under my navel and stretched down to my left hip. He trailed the scar with his tongue before he went back over it with his lips.

He made his way down to the junction of my thighs, and then without any warning, he plunged his tongue inside me; eliciting a moan from me so loud, that I heard Stranger whicker in alarm outside.

He used his right arm to hold my hips down, so he could fuck me with his tongue. He thrusted it in and out of me, his nose rubbed my clit with each movement. He moaned, and slurped loudly as he sucked on my clit.

I dug my nails into the ground, and moaned, my hips grinding against his face. I never had someone use their mouth on me like this before. I couldn't help the sounds I was making.

I didn't know if it was from the Skooma, or if Cicero was just an amazing lover. Probably both. I felt like I was going to explode or something.

Cicero's tongue rubbed back and forth over my clit as he shook his head from side to side. I groaned loudly, I felt my climax building in my lower belly.

He slid two fingers inside me and curled them upwards, pumping them in and out, hitting something inside me that sent me over the edge. I screamed his name so loudly that my Thu'um shook the ground.

Cicero sat back on his knees, still knelt between my thighs, and panted. He looked at me like I had two heads. His face was covered in my come, his eyes heavy with desire. He had never looked so sexy to me.

Looking at him was making my heart ache. I wanted him, in more ways than just physical. He was like my drug, and something told me that I would spend the rest of my life loving him like this and I still would never get enough.

There it was, it was now official. I loved Cicero. And it was now or never.

"I love you." I whispered to him, my voice barely audible.

A smile spread slowly across his face, his eyes half lidded. He leaned down and kissed me. I could taste myself on him, and it only further heightened my arousal.

"I love you, too, my darling Listener." He murmured between kisses.

He held my face gently in his hands, and slipped his tongue into my mouth as his cock slipped into me below.

We made love again, and again. Each time he finished inside of me we would kiss, touch, and grind against each other, until he got hard again;

and then we would start all over.

"Oh no," I groaned, and slapped my hand over my eyes. My face felt like it was a thousand degrees.

I did not tell him I loved him last night. What was I thinking? I wasn't that brave! It was the Skooma talking!

Or was it?

Cicero chuckled at me.

"Don't fret, my dear Listener." He rubbed his cock against me again. "Tell Cicero what is bothering you."

I couldn't speak. I was so mortified that I proclaimed my love to him, but was so turned on at the same time. His cock stimulated my clit, and I hated it when he teased me.

I had to work up the courage to ask him about our conversation last night.

"Do you remember what I said to you…" I began, my hand still covering my eyes. I couldn't bear to make eye contact with him. If I did, I would surely crumple into a ball and blow away.

"Hmm, the thing about you loving Cicero?"

I groaned, the embarrassment was so much worse when he said it out loud. I nodded, afraid to speak.

"And you want to know if it was the drugs that influenced my answer?" He continued.

I nodded again, anxiety twisted my stomach into a tight knot, and it threatened to make me puke.

"Cicero loves you, do not worry. Cicero has loved you since I kissed you in the Sanctuary. It might have been before then, but I knew from that point on that I couldn't let you go. I need you as much as I need the Night Mother. As much as Cicero needs the air to breathe. You give me hope to be the man I used to be." He paused, his voice a little shaky.

I removed my hand from my eyes so I could look at him. My heart ached as he poured his soul out to me. He had tears in his eyes now.

"Cicero needs you Saphira. Cicero loves you." His voice cracked as he choked on his words and let out a sob. "I love you more than Mother."

He squeezed his eyes shut and slid inside of me. It took me by surprise as he buried his face into the curve of my neck and started to thrust. He thrusted into me so hard that I yelped, and I had to hold onto him and wrap my legs around his waist to keep up.

If this was what he needed, what he had to do to express whatever it was tearing him apart, then so be it.

He sobbed into my shoulder as he fucked me. His tears were wet, and warm against my skin. I knew in that moment he was only Cicero the man, and not the Jester.

Hearing him cry like that ripped at my heart and all I could do was hold him, stroke his hair, and kiss him wherever I could. His neck, his face, his hair, his shoulder. Anywhere I could reach, to help him feel better.

I didn't know what was going on inside of his head, but I knew he was fighting something that wasn't real.

The Jester maybe... The laughter, the silence, or the Void. I didn't know, but I was here for him and I would never again let him feel like he was on his own. Cicero was mine and I was his. He would always have me by his side. This I knew now for certain, and if anything tried to get in between us, they would have the wrath of the Dragonborn to deal with.

When he came inside of me, he was still sobbing, his chest heaved with each breath. So I held him tenderly, and stroked his hair as I whispered my love for him into his ear.

He rested his head on my chest, and we held each other until we were both falling in and out of sleep.

"I love you," He whispered, and pulled my hand up to kiss it. "Please never leave Cicero. I need you." His voice cracked and I had to clench my teeth together to prevent myself from crying.

I gently kissed the top of his head as my fingers trailed softly across his back. He was still inside of me, not quite hard, but I wanted to feel as close to him as possible.

"I will never leave you," I cooed at him. "I don't know why, but I feel bound to you. Maybe it's our bond through Sithis. Maybe it's something else. But, Gods, I left my husband for you." I paused, and took a steadying breath.

"I think Sithis meant for us to be together, Cicero. Keeper and Listener, bound by the blood of Sithis to serve him, and the Night Mother from now until we enter the Void. And even then, we will be together."

I felt him smile against my skin and he kissed the closest nipple to his mouth.

"Thank you, Saphira. It's been eighteen years since I've felt anything for anyone other than the Night Mother. And now I have you. Cicero is so lucky."

He nuzzled my chest and closed his eyes. I stroked his hair until he fell asleep. We were entwined with each other, and his now soft member was still slightly buried inside of me.

This was something I knew I wanted to do for the rest of my life. And it made me sad knowing that I thought that Vorstag was for me. I never felt anything for him that was even remotely close to what I felt for Cicero.

Thank you, Sithis. For my new chance at happiness…

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That's all for this chapter. (: Until next time.

The next chapter : Confessions