Chapter 11
Bo
As soon as Bo walked into the Dal she was flagged down by Trick. Letting out a sigh, she plastered a fake smile on her face and slid her sunglasses into her jacket pocket. "Hey Trick," she said, managing to sound like her somewhat chipper self.
"Hey, Bo. Where have you been?" She watched as his eyes narrowed ever so slightly. A tell tale sign that he knew something was up but wasn't about to say anything just yet.
Bo raised an eyebrow, "I've been working a case with Dyson. You know how these things go, I'm unaligned so I'm tasked with tracking down any possible leads." She rolled her eyes, turned and glanced around the bar, hoping to alleviate any further scrutiny Trick would give her.
"Oh, well I'm just glad you're okay. Kenzi seemed a little worried when you didn't show up yesterday." His voice was calm and neutral like usual, but his eyes and face were conveying something totally different. Bo didn't acknowledge that though, she needed everyone to think things were the same old, same old.
She chuckled and smirked, "Yeah, I got a little carried away, ended up losing my phone and crashing somewhere else." Trick just looked at her, seemingly unconvinced by that excuse.
"I thought you were with Lauren. Aren't you two, you know, together?" Bo's smirk immediately disappeared from her face.
"Lauren and I were never really together Trick. You know that. Besides, some stuff happened and I doubt that fire is going to be rekindled." She waved her hand dismissively and patiently ignored the skeptical looks her grandfather kept giving her.
"Stuff happened?" Bo closed her eyes for a moment and thought of an adequate answer to that question but couldn't come up with anything good enough to get her grandfather off her back. She pinched the bridge of her nose and struggled for a decent response.
"Yeah, I've been going through some…stuff," she averted her gaze, knowing how terrible that sounded.
Trick leaned over the bar and examined her for a moment before speaking again. "Is that why you have blood on your jacket?"
Flabbergasted, Bo just stared at him. Her mind flashed back to waking up in that motel covered in blood, then to seeing Kara dead in that empty lot, finding her own cell phone with a bullet lodged in at the crime scene, before reality caught back up. She let out a sigh of relief when logic told her the blood was from her, well, from her incident at the bar. She stripped off her jacket and folded it over her arm. "I got a little banged up earlier; you know how trouble always seems to find me. Anyways, I gotta go talk to some of the people here. Check for leads. All that." With that, she turned on her heels and started asking the Fae around her if they knew anything about Kara.
By the time Dyson had showed up Bo had asked every Fae in the bar if they remembered seeing Kara with anyone or if they knew anyone she'd been seeing or meeting with, but no one knew anything.
As much as it bothered her to think it, she was almost certain that during her blackout she had killed Kara, but at least nothing had tied back to her. Not yet.
Bo rubbed her eyes, grabbed a beer and went to sit down at a booth in the back. Whatever Dyson wanted to talk about, whether it was the case or something more personal, she figured a little privacy couldn't hurt.
She managed to finish half of her beer before Dyson finally sat down across from her. She put on another smile, even though she didn't feel even remotely close to happy, and dove right into this undoubtedly uncomfortable conversation. "So, what'd you wanna talk about?" she took another sip as she scanned the room.
Dyson looked down at his hands, nervously fidgeting his fingers. "Well, hmm…I'm not…I don't really know how to bring it up without…uh…" She watched as he struggled to find the right phrasing. "I don't want you to think I'm looking for anything…or pressuring you. I just thought you should know." His eyes finally locked on hers, "Bo, I got my love back. Kenzi and I went to see the Norn and she wouldn't give it back to me so Kenzi went back on her own and somehow managed to get it back. I don't know what she did but I've got it back."
The words tumbled out of his mouth in rapid speed, almost sounding like an inconceivable run on sentence. She knew this revelation should have been a shock to her but the words floated through her mind and did nothing more. Her mind tried to figure out how to process the information, how she would have normally reacted to such gigantic news. Would she have leapt up in joy? Or get angry? Stick with shocked?
She knew her face was calm and unwavering, but if she were her normal emotional self, would she be freaking out? Her mind couldn't come up with a good response, so she just stared blankly at him.
"Bo? Could you say something?" He looked like a nervous wreck and Bo had no idea how she should react to this news. Not long ago, she would have jumped for joy for a chance to be back with him. But now, that didn't seem like an option. Bo knew that with everything that had happened with her, she didn't want to fall back into a relationship just because it felt familiar. Because it would give her some sense of normality, especially considering how utterly lost and confused she felt.
"I don't know what to say to that. You kinda just dropped a pretty big bomb on me…" She looked at him for a moment, utterly unsure of what would happen next.
"I know, I know. But, you left so quickly I didn't get a chance to tell you sooner. I know things have been rocky between us and you just got back and everything but I wanna give us another chance Bo. I still love you."
Bo looked down at her beer, unable to look into his sincere eyes. She twirled the bottle in her hand for a moment, "Dyson…too many things have happened between us for things to just go back to normal."
"I know that, but what we have, it's kismet. I told you before, we mate for life. I know we need to start over and try rebuilding things, but I know you're my soul mate. You just need to give us a chance."
His eyes were filed with the compassion and sincerity that she'd once loved, but now, she didn't feel anything. She didn't feel that undeniable pull towards him, she didn't feel the love; she didn't feel anything.
Looking at him, Bo couldn't help but wonder if this was how he felt. If he felt this emptiness after the Norn took his love; if he felt as desolate on the inside as she does. "I know what we had…well, it was like nothing I'd ever felt before. You were basically my first real love. Until you, everyone I ever loved usually wound up dead next to me. I can't just say I'm going to jump into a relationship with you just because you can love again. It's not fair to you and it's not fair to me. I…" she looked around for some divine intervention, but with no such luck, she pressed on. "I…I don't know if I feel the same way about you anymore."
"How can you not know if you love me or not? How can you not want to at least try and get back what we had? I know we've been through a lot but you have to at least give this a shot, Bo! You owe it at least that!"
Hearing the determination in his voice and the steely look in his eyes wasn't making this conversation any easier. This was meant to be an emotional one, but she couldn't give him the reactions or feelings he wanted. She pushed her beer bottle aside and grabbed hold of his hands. "Dyson, for a long time, I wanted nothing more than to hear you say those words again. I was heartbroken when you ended things, and I was devastated when you told me you could never love me again. All that was only made worse when you openly flirted with other women when I was around, all that was only made worse when you started dating Ciara. I wish I could say we could try and pick up the pieces and try again, but even now, I know there's a piece missing."
Bo let go of his hands and could see the heartbreak in his eyes, but she needed to say this. She needed to end whatever this was because she was incomplete now. She was different. "Before, we couldn't be together because of you, and I don't blame you. I could never fault you for sacrificing a piece of yourself to help me, but now…this," she flicked her finger from him to her and back, "can't happen because of me. When I left, things changed. I can't promise to fall back in love with you, that's just something I can't do. I'm sorry."
His face scrunched up and a low growl escaped his throat, "Bo, I won't give up on us again. I won't do it. Why won't you at least try? Aren't I at least worth that? We've been through too much for this to amount to nothing! You don't even look hurt, do you even care?"
"Of course I care, but I can't try for something I know won't happen right now. Maybe things will happen down the road but I'm not going to be forced into a relationship I don't…" as soon as the words started to leave her mouth, she knew she'd said the wrong thing.
"A relationship you don't, what? You don't want?" He hissed, his hands clenching into balls.
She took a deep breath, "Yes." She said weakly, sounding deflated even to her own ears. "I'm not in the right state to be in a relationship. If you really cared, you wouldn't be forcing me into it when I'm not ready."
"The right state? Are you kidding me? We've fought the Garuda together, Bo! Whatever you're going through, we can handle it together! Just like everything else."
"Just stop!" She said forcefully, "I'm not ready, okay? You can't just come up to me and say, 'Hey Bo, I got my love back, so now we can forget everything we've been through and just get back together.' It doesn't work that way Dyson! Either you deal with that or just go."
Bo watched helplessly as Dyson growled in frustration and slid out from the booth and stormed out. "What the hell have I ever done to deserve the crap cards that keep getting dealt to me," she muttered as she polished off her beer and walked into the restroom.
She looked in the mirror and saw the empty eyes looking back at her. She splashed some water on her face in a vain attempt to clear her mind, but her thoughts kept swirling around in her brain. Her conversation with Dyson, her blank memory, her morning, the fact she may have killed someone; all of them kept swirling around her brain.
She stormed out of the bathroom and up to bar and ordered a dozen shots. Deep down, Bo knew getting drunk was probably the worst thing she could possibly do, but at that moment, drowning out her incessant thoughts was more important.
She grabbed the tray of shots and went back to her booth and downed four shots back to back. With each shot the thoughts in her head quieted down a little more. It would take more than twelve shots to get her totally obliterated but it would at least give her a decent buzz. By her eighth shot, she'd unwound considerably.
She downed shot after shot until someone sliding into her booth disrupted her fun. "Drinking alone?" the familiar voice asked.
Bo gulped down the fiery liquid and focused her attention of the blonde doctor in front of her. "Lauren."
A/N: Sorry for bombarding those who are following with a bunch of chapter updates. I have about four more chapters written out but i didn't want to bombard your inboxes so I'll hold off on publishing those. If no one minds too much I'll publish two or three chapters tomorrow evening then start updating daily or as often as I can.
