Chapter Eleven
Bella
I didn't sleep well expecting to hear another knock on the door or the sound of breaking glass. I didn't trust Dr. Cullen or his huge companion who had stood silent and threatening at his side but when Sophie came running in excited at dawn the next day I pulled myself together and made the effort to appear normal. After breakfast, we finished decorating the house although I couldn't help feeling that my late night visitors were still around even if they weren't spying on me. I had looked at the card he handed me once I was sure they'd left and then went online to check out his story. As far as I could tell there was no Doctor Cullen working at the clinic in International Falls although I wouldn't go so far as calling the clinic itself to check, he might actually work there and I didn't want him to know how suspicious I was especially as it would make him think I knew more about Jasper than I actually did. The card didn't tell me much, just his name and a cell phone number, there was no address for the clinic or anywhere else, I'd remembered he told me where he worked when he first visited.
I knew enough to suspect Jasper was sick and on the run or in hiding but whether from this doctor or someone else I didn't know. All I did know was that I wasn't going to give him away to anyone until I had spoken with him.
Looking out the window at the still falling snow I wondered if we would even make it to International Falls for the parade this evening. If it had been possible I would have planned on calling in at the clinic but with Sophie and Jasper at my side, that wouldn't be possible. I'd seen a plow clearing the road so maybe it wouldn't be so bad and both Sophie and I were eager to go although I wasn't sure whether that was for the same reason. I liked the floats they made me feel more festive but I was more interested in spending time with Jasper. I would have to tell him about the doctor and what he'd said if only to warn him he might be in danger and maybe I could offer my help.
If Jasper wanted transport or money I could help although I only had one car and limited funds. If he needed somewhere to hide out he could come to my place, I doubted the doctor would be back again and even if he did so long as Jasper was hidden inside and I refused my unwanted visitors entry there would be nothing they could do. The doctor hadn't warned me against Jasper so he wasn't dangerous and I'd felt that from the first time we met, he was in need of a friend but not dangerous.
"Mommy?"
"Yes, sweetie?"
"Do you think Jasper is out in the snow? He said he has nowhere to go and no friends."
"No, I'm sure he's got somewhere to stay and in a few hours we'll be picking him up and going to see the Christmas parade."
She nodded but like me, she was concerned for him, I wasn't even sure I believed what I'd said to her, where was he staying? He had no luggage, not even a rucksack and the clothes he had been wearing although different from the first time looked like he'd picked them up somewhere cheap, they didn't fit properly.
"We could ask him to Christmas dinner, you're supposed to be kind at Christmas and help people, everyone says that."
"I know but maybe he won't be here for Christmas."
"Sure he will, he can't leave, he's my Christmas angel."
"He's a man Sophie, not an angel."
"Yes he is, he glows like an angel and he came to help us."
I laughed,
"That's not very nice."
"It is, he looks like the angel in my book, it says an angel glows."
I couldn't argue that point, I'd seen it myself in the church, in the candlelight Jasper's skin seemed to emit a soft glow like he was lit from inside but an angel? No way!
We baked some dough shapes and when they'd cooled down Sophie painted them and we left them to dry by the fire while we had lunch then threaded ribbons through the holes she had made in the dough and hung them on the Christmas tree. It was something I had done with my own grandma and I like the idea of keeping up the family tradition. There were stars and moons candy canes and gingerbread man shapes but Sophie's favorite was the angel we painted to sit on the top of the tree.
"See, Jasper the angel is watching over us."
I just smiled, if only guardian angels were real then maybe Sophie and I wouldn't be spending this Christmas alone.
Steven's mother called after lunch and chatted with Sophie for a while, she wasn't well enough to travel and to be honest she and I had never been close but I had to admit she rang regularly to ask after her granddaughter or speak to her in person now Sophie was older and she sent gifts for her birthday and Christmas.
Then she wanted to speak to me,
"Steven is coming to see me for Christmas Bella. Did you know he's been unwell?"
How could I? He hadn't spoken to us in ages.
"No, I didn't."
"Unfortunately he has his father's weakness for drink and he was involved in a car accident. It wasn't his fault of course but as he was over the limit the cops blamed him. Now he's lost his license and his job."
"Oh."
What else could I say?
"I was wondering if maybe he could come back, live with you and Sophie again?
I wasn't sure how I should feel about that idea.
"Has he spoken about it? He hasn't contacted me."
"No, but he hasn't anywhere to go, he's staying with friends until Christmas Eve but then he has to leave and that's why he's coming to my place but..."
Of course, she didn't want him staying there because she'd gotten shot of an alcoholic husband and didn't want to replace him with an equally addicted son but then neither did I!
"I'm sorry but I'm not having him back if he's drinking. It was his decision to leave, he walked out on me and Sophie and I'm not having her see her daddy like that Margaret."
Her voice grew colder,
"He does still pay the rent for that house remember and he sends money for Sophie."
"Actually he doesn't, he stopped paying the rent three months ago and he's behind with child support. I have to go, I'm taking Sophie to the parade in town this evening and we have to get ready. Have a good Christmas Margaret."
It wasn't really a lie, I'd just noticed that Sophie had covered herself in colored glitter including her hair and it would take ages to comb it all out if it didn't come out when I washed it.
"Look, mommy, I glow too now."
I laughed, how could I be angry with such a little angel? I loved her so much.
It had stopped snowing when we left for which I was grateful, I wasn't keen on driving any distance in snow and ice but when I saw Jasper waiting for us it made the effort worthwhile. Sophie shouted his name and waved madly and he waved back then climbed in beside me. I wanted to talk to him about my visitors but it was impossible with Sophie here, I would have to find an opportunity later.
He seemed genuinely pleased to be going with us and he and Sophie were soon chatting like old friends.
"You know I've never seen a Christmas Pageant Sophie, maybe you can tell me all about it."
Sophie was in her element while I tried to concentrate on the road although it wasn't easy with him sitting beside me, there was just something about him that drew me in. I didn't feel uncomfortable or self-conscious, it was strange, I felt settled as if this were the most natural thing in the world to be sitting here together like a real family.
"How come you never saw a parade before Jasper? Didn't they have them where you lived?"
"No, nothing like this, it sounds like fun."
"It is and we can have popcorn or hot dogs."
He pulled a horrified face and she smiled.
"You eat dogs?"
Sophie burst out laughing and I glanced at Jasper noticing the devilment in his eyes, he was teasing her and she loved it.
"No silly, you don't eat dogs, they're weiners I think, in rolls and you squirt ketchup on them, mommy sprinkles onions on hers but I don't like those."
"Right, well I better try one."
"You'll see Santa ride by on his sleigh on a float. Mommy, why do they call them floats? They don't go on the water and anyway his sleigh is pulled by reindeer."
"I have no idea Sophie maybe we can ask someone later."
She nodded then looked out the window,
"Santa will be able to get to our house with all this snow won't he mommy?"
"Sure he will."
Jasper was thoughtful for a minute,
"Why doesn't Santa use horses to pull his sleigh?"
Sophie screwed up her face as she pondered,
"Maybe because horses don't have red noses that glow and they can't fly."
Jasper nodded,
"I guess they're better in the snow too but I think if I were Santa I'd use a truck."
The two of them began a discussion about why Santa couldn't come in a truck, something about trucks not being able to fly to which Jasper replied it was a magic truck and then how a truck couldn't land on the roof which branched out into another discussion about why Santa would want to climb down a chimney and get all sooty or burned boots when he could magic himself through the door. Any outsider would have been forgiven for thinking Sophie and Jasper were daughter and father, he was so good with her.
When we parked up Sophie took Jasper's hand as the most natural thing in the world and dragged him over to see the floats as they waited to start out on the parade and then we got hot dogs although Jasper didn't seem to enjoy his, he only managed a mouthful before putting it in a bin as we walked.
"Are you cold Jasper?"
He looked down at Sophie's concerned face,
"No, why? Are you?"
"No, but I've got a scarf, hat. and mittens, even mommy's got gloves and a hat but you don't have anything. Would you like to borrow mine?"
She started to unwind her scarf until he shook his head,
"I'm fine really but thank you, Sophie."
He seemed genuinely touched by her concern.
Of course, Sophie needed the bathroom after her cocoa so I took her into the restrooms and waited for her.
"Mommy."
"Yes?"
"Jasper's hands are shaking, I think he's cold. Can we get him some gloves?"
"He said he was OK sweetie."
"I know but maybe he doesn't have any."
When we joined him once again in the crowd to see the parade I noticed that she was right, his hands were shaking very slightly but he seemed OK and when Sophie complained she couldn't see properly he asked me if it was OK for him to put her on his shoulders which was very sweet. Of course, Sophie was over the moon, she used to love it when her daddy did that and sat very proud watching the floats with their myriad colored twinkle lights and gaily dressed elves, fairies, snowmen, and Santa.
She had a ride in a sleigh pulled by two real reindeer and petted them before we went to get some more hot cocoa for her, eggnog for me and hot apple cider for Jasper although he didn't appear to feel the cold despite a bitter wind that found every inch of exposed flesh.
On the drive home I had hoped Sophie might fall asleep so I could speak to Jasper but she was determined to stay awake and chatted with him non stop. I noticed his conversation was more stilted and when I glanced over he seemed hunched up, was this something to do with the sickness the doctor had spoken of?
"Are you OK Jasper?"
He nodded smiling at my query,
"Yes, thank you. Maybe I did get a little cold, I don't usually feel it but I've been unwell and I guess I'm not quite recovered yet."
I opened my mouth to question him further but Sophie was quicker,
"I was sick a few weeks ago, I had the measles and I was in bed for weeks."
"Not weeks Sophie, a few days at most."
She shrugged,
"It felt like weeks and I was sick, I had a tempetu...I was really hot. Did you have the measles?"
"No, but that sounds bad."
"It was, mommy had to take time off work to look after me and I couldn't see any of my friends in case they got it. I didn't like that."
"No, I imagine it's not nice when you can't see your friends."
As we pulled into Ray I asked him where he wanted me to drop him off,
"Anywhere will do, I can find my way."
"Where are you staying Jasper? We can take you."
He smiled at Sophie,
"It's fine, I'm sure mommy wants to get you home before the snow starts again."
"We're going ice skating on the lake tomorrow if you'd like to join us."
It just came out, I hated the thought this might be the last time we saw Jasper.
He hesitated and I was sure he was going to refuse then he nodded,
"Thank you, yes I'd like that although I have no idea how to skate."
Sophie whooped loudly in pleasure.
"Yea! I'll show you how Jasper and will you stay to dinner? Mommy won't mind, please."
My daughter had that look on her face, the one that said if you say no it will break my heart and he was no more able to refuse her than anyone else.
"Well, if it's OK with your mommy."
"Of course, shall I pick you up in town?"
He shook his head,
"No, I can make my way to your place. What time?"
"About eleven?"
And that was it, he would be in our lives for at least one more day.
