Ahhhh! This chapter took me far too long. My apologies for the long wait. Things are going to start to heat up a little over the next few chapters :] but the feels will continue. I have to admit I'm using this story to distract me from the upcoming CS angst I sense will be on the show. I truly appreciate all of the wonderful comments I've received on this story - your thoughts are what keep me writing! So without further rambling from me, all rights/characters belong to OUAT. I own nothing!
It wasn't at all what she expected - wood beams and an open floor layout with large plate glass windows near the front entrance. There was old tavern style lighting lining the walls as well several candle style hanging chandeliers above. The dark stained bar counters looked as if they'd been recently refinished, but the wood floors were a bit run down. Emma swept her foot back and forth across the surface, wondering what it would actually cost to fix them up. Wait - why was she thinking that way? They hadn't even decided if they were really doing this yet. It was an idea - just an idea.
"Well, love?"
She turned her eyes back to Killian and her whole commitment to 'just an idea' faded quickly. He looked so excited as he twirled the key ring around his finger and gave her an anticipatory smile. Who was she kidding? Of course they were doing this.
"It's nice - really nice actually," Emma nodded, walking over to lean against the counter. "It actually doesn't look like it would even need too much work. Are you sure this is really what you want to do? Open a bar?"
He raised his eyebrows at her as he flipped a few light switches and watched the flickering overhead. Emma folded her arms across her chest with a smirk as she awaited his response. Killian shoved his hands in his back pockets as he strolled to stand in front of her, teetering on his heels. Emma moved a hand to his forearm, running her fingertips along his skin as she captured his gaze.
"You know I'm with you on this, Killian," she began, tilting her head. "I just...well...starting a business is a time consuming thing."
"I know that, love," he agreed, moving his hands to her hips. "I know it's going to be hard. I know it's going to require a lot of sacrifices. It's a big step. It could change our lives in a lot of ways - and I want you to know that I won't do it if you don't think it's in our best interest."
Emma narrowed her eyes at his honest blue ones. He had brought her here to show her this plan he'd been pillaging and plundering to create. He'd spent weeks looking for the perfect space and hour after hour drawing up budgets. He had gone over his own savings multiple times, even planning on using the money his brother had left behind when he died. Now he was willing to put a stop to all of it if Emma just said the word. She'd never do that - she didn't even want to. It was the simple fact that he was always willing to put her wishes ahead of everything else. She shook her head with a subtle smile at his audacious offer.
"Emma," he said before she was able to reply. "I love you. I know this bar is going to be a hard start, but I think I can do it - I think we can do it."
"That's an awful lot of faith you're putting in us, Jones."
He laughed softly as he pulled her close. Emma rested her head against his steady heartbeat as he stroked her back several times. Killian kissed the top of her head before leaning back to give her that look - the one that told her she should never doubt them.
"It's going to be tough, Swan," he nodded. "It will be a busy year or two - I know that. But once we get things off the ground and get some good help employed, my schedule will be more flexible - I'll be able to help with Liam as much as possible. I just...I want to be there. I don't want to miss out on making memories with my family. This bar has always been something I've thought about doing and now with you and Liam...I want us to have a solid foundation."
Emma sighed, a half smile turning up her lips. It shouldn't surprise her anymore, but it did - the fact that he always found new ways to amaze her. She mused at the way Killian Jones had become such a family man. Despite the fact that most people - including her - would have never expected it, it looked damn good on him.
"Okay," she breathed, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Then I think you should do it."
"Really?"
"Yes," she nodded, her grin widening. "Really - let's do it."
He moved his hands to the side of her face, kissing her deeply. She felt the gratitude radiating in his kiss as his lips pressed hard against hers. Honestly, she'd take a risk on anything if it meant he would keep kissing her just like that.
"I love you, Emma."
"I know you do," she narrowed her eyes playfully, running her hands up and down the back of his scalp. "So you're thinking two years?"
"Hopefully," he replied, sighing hard. "I've got things worked out as far as logistics go - just need to find some reliable people looking for work. Is there a specific reason you're asking for my estimate?"
"Well, I'm just trying to plan out a few minor details."
"Hmmm," he said, arching his eyebrows as if he knew where this might be going. "Care to elaborate?"
"Well if you're planning on having more free time for your family in the near future, perhaps there's no reason we shouldn't add to it."
His eyes went bright as his posture stiffened. They hadn't talked about this yet. Liam was only a few months old so there wasn't much reason to talk about having another baby yet. It was only in this moment that Emma had even first considered it.
"Emma, do you mean..."
She nodded without even thinking twice. Killian Jones the unconditional, wonderful father was one of her favorite forms of this man - and she couldn't help but love the idea of magnifying that.
"Does that surprise you?"
"A little," he laughed, tilting his head from side to side. "But I love the idea. Liam is amazing and if we have a chance to have another baby as beautiful as that boy, we should definitely consider it."
"Okay then," she agreed. "Two years."
"Okay," he smiled, leaning his forehead against hers. "Two years."
Emma closed her eyes and kissed him slowly as her heart began to flutter. Maybe they had settled on waiting for now, but as he flexed his fingers against her skin in a well known way, Emma felt a slow burning arousal beginning to build throughout her body. Maybe it was two years away, but there was definitely no harm in practicing.
Killian had spent the morning trying to alleviate his tired demeanor with several cups of coffee and the entertaining presence of his son. Liam had made facing the daylight a little easier when he wandered into the kitchen with a humorous mess of hair, bright blue eyes, and bare feet. He had yawned something adorably fierce before offering up the most genuine smile Killian had seen since that moment in the diner. That little boy sure loved him. The all too obvious fact warmed his heart as he realized he had so much more to catch up on. There was so much the accident had stolen from him, but the way Liam looked at him gave him hope that maybe he could get it back.
Sleep had been haunted - something he knew he needed to analyze and definitely talk to Emma about. The line that had been drawn in his mind separating nightmares from what was left his memories was suddenly very blurry. He shuddered as he thought about how he'd been ripped from sleep the night before. It had felt so real - like an actual memory of sorts even if it was a terrible one.
"Hey."
Emma's voice brought him back from what could have quickly evolved into darkness. Her head was slightly tilted and she was giving him that look - the one that silently asked if he was okay. He definitely wasn't, but the fact that she loved him enough to ask made him think that perhaps he could be.
"Hey - sorry," he replied softly, leaning forward to cross his arms on the table. "Just...tired. I'm guessing you are too."
"I'll survive," she smirked over the brim of her mug. "I was wondering if you'd like to walk Liam to school with me?"
He'd always found Emma to be intriguing - a distraction of the most favorable sort. It made him smile to see her use that ability to keep his mind from creating some unnecessary demons. He knew she'd be patient. She'd wait for him to bring it up. He made up his mind to do just that - but later. They would talk about the nightmare later because if anyone could help him figure that out, it would be Emma.
"I'd love to," he replied with a flattered nod. "Supposing he actually still needs us to."
His eyes had drifted to his Liam who had found himself on the living room floor, invested in a staring contest with his shoelaces as his tiny fingers tried to tie some semblance of a bow. Killian had to laugh at his son's eager spirit. Emma sighed with an almost embarrassed grin, running her hands over her eyes.
"Yeah, he's got an...independent personality," she explained with a shake of her head. "I better get him dressed before he tries to head off to school in his pajamas or something."
He tried not to smile too wide as he watched Emma drag herself to her feet and try to internally prepare herself to fight a battle she truly despised. He figured she'd probably had quite the run of it over the past few weeks. Killian tried to remember that Emma's short stint as a single parent wasn't his fault, but it was difficult to ignore the fact that she had spent eighteen days trying to fill his shoes while still wearing her own. He furrowed his eyebrows thoughtfully and his heart fluttered as he realized this might be a chance to play the 'papa' he truly wanted to be.
"Emma, I could do it...I mean, if you want?"
She paused her feet and gave him that look again - the one she seemingly reserved for not just her husband but for the loving father of their little boy. Her eyes grew kind, evolving into a beautiful light green while the corner of her mouth shifted into a curious half smile. It made him a strange sort of happy to see her look at him so sweetly.
"I think that's a great idea," she told him as she leaned back against the counter. "Assuming you're up to the challenge?"
Killian smirked with a raised eyebrow as he looked back at Liam. He was still focused on the task of tying his shoes, one he clearly hadn't mastered yet. A small laugh escaped Killian's lips as he slid the chair back. He stilled for a moment, settling his eyes on Emma's amused ones.
"Well, it just so happens that I love a challenge."
Emma shook her head slightly with a sly grin as they walked along the sidewalk that would lead them to Liam's preschool. She chanced another look at her boys out of the corner of her vision. She'd been trying to spy in a sneaky manner, but it was becoming more difficult - the sight was truly difficult to pry her eyes from.
That freaking sweater. He'd seriously gotten Liam to wear that sweater. The clothing in question was brand new and had been given to her little boy as a birthday gift from Ruby's grandmother. It was a handsome knit sweather - navy blue and cream striped with a zipper opening at the collar. Emma had loved it immediately, but Liam hadn't been too interested. It hung on her son's closet door for two weeks, begging to be de-tagged and worn. She'd tried day after day, suggesting and even prodding him to just try it on to no avail. But now - Liam was wearing that damn sweater right along with a huge, insanely contagious grin. Unbelievable, Emma thought with a smirk.
It was almost like she wasn't there. In the company of anyone else, that would have bothered her. When it came to Killian and Liam, it merely made her heart pound and her eyes glisten - especially now. Her little boy had predictably opted to hold his dad's hand instead of hers and it made Emma happy to see how quickly Killian had obliged, allowing Liam to grasp onto his fingers and helping him navigate the path carefully.
There had been several moments over the past few weeks where Emma had to ask herself how they had even managed this parenting thing. It had been extraordinarily difficult to cover all of their bases solo, building and coursing through a schedule she had to skillfully build around work, Liam, and a million other things that Killian had always been so adept at handling. She never imagined that holding it together would be so hard without him, but it had - and she wasn't anxious to go back to that uncertainty. Something about the way he'd looked at her the last few days told her that she wouldn't have to. It was Killian - that was the only way they'd ever survived as parents. He made everything easier.
"Papa?"
Emma adored the way Killian lit up when their son addressed him so sweetly. God, she had missed that.
"Yeah?"
"Are you going to pick me up after school today?"
Dammit. Emma hadn't planned for this question. She cursed herself for teaching Liam the days of the week - it was one of those simple things she'd helped him pick up on their walks to school minus Killian the past two weeks. Of course he'd realize that today was one of Killian's days to pick him up from school. She bit her lip, annoyed with herself for allowing him to be put on the spot again.
"Umm...I-I don't know actually."
"Please, papa?"
Liam was trying adorably to convince them, although it honestly wasn't needed. It wasn't hard to see how much Liam had missed him and although he didn't know he was truly a dad upon waking up, Killian clearly wanted nothing more than to be in the same space as that little boy. Emma noticed that perhaps his hesitation was something she could help with. In an effort to sway him, Emma nodded and shrugged nonchalantly. She did need to finish up a bit of paperwork on a few cases at work. Maybe it would be good for those two to finally spend some time together without her.
"I suppose I could," Killian told Liam, his eyes trying to gage his son's reaction. The little boy lit up like the sunrise, his eyes glowing a brilliant blue.
She tried not to sink into her shoes as she realized just how much time they needed to resolve. Liam smiled that charming Jones smile that Emma had fallen victim to so many times. It seemed to have quite the effect on her husband as well as she watched him squeeze the little boy's hand and they resumed the remaining half a block of so of their short walk. The second they reached the entrance, Liam ran to Emma, kissing her cheek and hugging her tight in a way that had given her life for as long as she could remember. When he turned back to Killian, Emma froze for a moment. She wasn't sure if he'd be prepared for it at first, but the second Liam reached for him, Killian lifted their little boy into his arms for a clearly much needed hug. It took every ounce of restraint Emma had to keep in her tears, the same ones she'd held in the hundreds of times Liam had asked about Killian while he was in the hospital.
"So you will be here today when it's time to go home, right?"
Liam's eyes were full of honest inquiry as Killian set him down. Her husband looked so flattered and thrilled to be so needed.
"Absolutely," he promised, leaning forward to kiss the top of Liam's head. "Wouldn't miss it for anything."
"Okay," Liam said very matter-of-factly. "I love you, papa."
Emma couldn't help the quiet gasp that left her lips. She covered her mouth as casually as possible, trying not to appear startled as she locked eyes with her husband. He seemed to be just as caught off guard as she was. She watched him shift his glance back to Liam. As much as she knew it might break the dam, she couldn't tear her eyes away from what she knew was about to happen.
"I-I love you too."
She blinked hard, unable to prevent a single tear from racing down her cheek as Liam wrapped his arms around Killian's neck. The blue that was radiating from her husband's adoring gaze melted her as she dried her eyes. Liam pulled away and ran to the building entrance. Killian moved to Emma's side, sighing as Liam turned to wave. Emma laughed, waving back as Killian followed suite.
"He's...he's so incredible."
Killian's eyes were glazed over as a ridiculous grin spread across his lips. Emma couldn't help but soak in every aspect of the moment. As much as she wanted Killian to fall in love with her again - and she did - it was just as amazing to watch him fall madly in love with their little boy. She smiled fiercely, turning to look at him sweetly. He mirrored her expression and reached slowly for her hand.
"So do you have any ideas for how I could distract myself until it's time to pick him up?"
Emma laughed, trying to ignore the fact that eighteen days ago, she would have answered that question very differently than she was about to. He raised his eyebrows expectantly and she tugged on his hand.
"I think so," she nodded as an idea landed in her mind. "Follow me?"
"Anywhere."
She paused, expecting him to retract the word in that insecure manner she'd seen so much of lately - but he didn't. His eyes grew incredibly blue and Emma realized that though she loved those eyes in any form, this honest and loving color was definitely her favorite.
When they'd returned home to get Emma's car, he had been clueless about what her plan was. On the drive, he had no idea where they were headed. Now, as they parked, he was thankful that his accident hadn't hindered his ability to be perceptive.
He didn't actually recognize the place at all, but he'd been given enough fun facts over the past few days to know exactly where they were - the parking lot of the bar. Well, it was his bar if you wanted to get specific about it. He smirked at the bold letters of The Jolly Roger painted across a wood sign just outside the entrance. It was a silly name for sure, but it was good to see how he'd held to his word - even if his word had been insane.
"So you said 'sometime' and I have a few inventory things to sign off on," Emma explained nervously. "But you don't have to come in if you don't-"
"Emma," Killian cut in, arching an eyebrow at her. "Stop."
"I know - sorry," she sighed. "I just - I don't want to push you too far. If you're not ready to remember any of the stuff I keep throwing at you, I don't want you to feel obligated to do so. I just...I want to tell you about everything about our lives. All of it."
This admission seemed to shake her a bit and as Killian looked at her, he realized just how rare a creature an insecure Emma Swan truly was. He pursed his lips in frustration. He didn't want her to feel like she was being unfair. She wasn't at all - he wanted this. All of it.
"Then tell me," he finally said, finding and grasping her hand gently. "Tell me everything and let me be the judge of what I can handle, love."
"Do you realize you're saying that?"
"Saying what?"
"Love. You've...you've been calling me 'love'. A lot. Just like you used to."
He blinked hard, straightening his posture as he tried to analyze the soft expression on her face. Her eyes widened and he prayed he hadn't crossed a line.
"Oh," he stammered, swallowing hard. "I can stop if you want-"
"Hey - no. You don't need to," she interrupted with a smile, stroking his fingers. "I like it. Just...let me be the judge of what I can handle."
He laughed, nodding as he conceded to her teasing. She intertwined their fingers in what he could tell she felt to be a bold move. Her eyes were a beautiful, honest green as she nodded toward the entrance to the bar.
"Come on - let's go see what's happening in the world of libations and piracy today."
"Ah yes, my impulsive naming of the place coming back to haunt me again," he groaned, rolling his eyes comically. "You better lead the way, captain."
She let out an amused laugh as they exited the car, slamming the doors gently. Killian didn't care how foolish his choice had been when it came to naming his business. If it made her react with that beautifully genuine laugh, it was totally worth it.
"So this is it."
Emma watched Killian look around the dark space as she flipped the lights on. Ruby wouldn't be in for a few more hours - they didn't open until two. She didn't miss the pride that crossed his features as he walked to the countertop, smoothing his fingertips across the cool wood surface. Emma slipped behind the bar, straightening several bottle absentmindedly as she allowed him to absorb his surroundings. She glanced back at him a few times. He looked so intrigued that she found it difficult to look away.
"Scared I wouldn't like what I saw, Swan?"
Of course he'd noticed how she was watching him. It almost didn't seem worth it to feign ignorance anymore. He always knew what she was up to.
"No, just waiting...wondering what you'd think I guess," she explained almost too casually. "Care to let me in on that?"
"It's...great actually," he concluded, turning back to look at the room again. "Not what I expected initially, but I like it."
"I once felt as you did," she laughed. "But perhaps it's good to be surprised?"
"Yeah," he smirked. "Perhaps it is."
Emma had placed her hands on the top of the bar, tapping her fingers lightly in anticipation. He reached for them, caressing the length of her hands as he stared into her eyes. This was the Killian she missed - the one who took such pleasure in just the simplest looks and touches.
"So you stuck by me," he began, his eyes cautious. "Through all of this?"
"Yeah, I guess you could put it that way," Emma nodded, letting him continue to study her hands. "It was your dream - well, our dream. You hoped that by owning your own business, you'd have more time for us and our family."
"And did I?"
"Yes, you did," she smiled. "It took a few years, but ultimately, it was a great decision. You have some great help here though - Ruby and August. They helped free up a little time in your schedule. You'll have to meet them soon."
He nodded, noticeably storing away those names for future use. He looked like he wanted to ask something else, but he stayed quiet for a moment. When he raised his eyes with a curious blue, Emma stilled her own hands as she awaited his inquiry.
"Emma," he said slowly. "When you say 'our family', do you...do you mean just Liam? I mean...well-"
"Are you asking about other kids? If we talked about having more kids?"
"Yeah," he breathed, giving her a weak smile. "Did we?"
God, she wished she could lie to him. The truth was they had started talking about it a few months before the accident. Liam had started school and the bar was in a great place financially. Killian had figured it would take about two months to finish up the repairs and minor remodels at the bar at which point they'd planned to start trying. It wasn't as if they were actually preventing though. Emma had even been speculating that she was already pregnant when the accident happened. She'd taken a test a few days into Killian's coma and it had come out negative, something she should have been relieved about considering the state of her husband. But she hadn't been - not at all.
"We did," she said softly, grasping his hand for fear he might pull back. "We were thinking about it actually. But Killian, we don't have to talk about that now."
"No, it's okay," he replied, clearing his throat in an attempt to hide some emotion. "I was just wondering."
"Killian," she began, leaning forward. "You don't have to do that."
He looked a little nervous as he dropped his gaze, toying with her fingers. She didn't like how he seemed ashamed of his lack of memories, especially in instances like this.
"Killian, I know it's not going to be exactly like it was. There's a lot of plans we had that are going to have to change - I know that. It's okay."
It wasn't okay. Emma just needed to tell herself that it was. He didn't believe her at all - his telling eyes made that clear.
"Emma, I don't know much about the man you married, but can I take a venture at what he might have said in this situation?"
She froze solid, completely caught off guard and a little nervous about what he was going to tell her. For some reason, that small fear didn't keep her from nodding.
"Well," Killian started, sighing anxiously. "I'm guessing I'd say something about how Liam is probably one of the best things we ever did together. I'd tell you how amazing he is and how he clearly makes me a better man. I'm thinking I'd add something regarding the fact that I'm the luckiest man in Storybrooke to have both of you and that adding to our brood would make me unbelievably happy."
She tried to remain upright at his assumption, his words nearly making her melt. It was him taking a chance at being the man he used to be - and she wasn't disappointed. He was still there - her husband and the man she loved with everything she had.
"I think you are much better at reading yourself than you think, Killian."
"Or maybe I agree with my past self more than you know, Swan."
They shared a simple smile, one full of hope and one that made her want to forget everything by kissing him senseless. The moment was so pure and perfect though - she decided that for now, it was enough. Right now, she just wanted to help him remember more.
"I'm glad that you and the old you are reaching a consensus of sorts," she grinned, straightening back up. "Now - since I've become a bit of master regarding alcohol distribution over the past two weeks, would you like to learn how to run a bar, Mr. Jones?"
"Absolutely, Swan," he laughed, standing up to move around to the other side. "I assume I'm allowed to cross the counter?"
"I suppose so," she sighed teasingly. "But I've got to warn you - I run a pretty tight ship."
"I'd expect no less, love."
This time, she didn't question the endearment. It was a small victory - and Emma wasn't opposed to rebuilding their lives on small victories.
He'd spent the past few hours at the bar with Emma, learning the ins and outs of running the town's one and only pub. She'd helped him navigate the elaborate menu and he had been pleased to see that the Irishman in him still existed when he noticed he hadn't skimped on variety in the least. Emma had explained the basics of inventory and ordering, narrating the details of each process with finesse. She taunted his old knack for preciseness, claiming that her 'obsessive husband' was a stickler for routine. It was fun to watch her in such an element - she was so amazingly breathtaking as she took control of things and clued him in on what he needed to know. The bar quickly became something he thought he could get used to on a daily basis. There was still a lot to learn, but he had a vague security that she'd help him through that.
Killian had been a little uneasy about picking Liam up from school alone. It didn't surprise him that Emma picked up on that quickly.
"You'll be fine," she said as they exited the bar, locking the door behind her. "I just have to run into work for a little bit and I'll be home right behind you guys."
"Is there anything I need to know? Or do?"
"Liam can talk you through anything you're unsure of," Emma explained, a twinkle in her eye as she referred to their knowledgeable son. "You know the way home, right? It's only a few blocks. Will you be okay to walk?"
He nodded, taking a deep breath. She'd touched his arm with a firm reassurance as he looked into her eyes. She really did trust him. That relaxed him a bit.
"Okay," he concluded. "So I just wait outside for him, right?"
"Yep, he should be out shortly after you get there."
He nodded again, pausing awkwardly after a second. He watched her fiddle with her keys for a moment before looking back at him. He wanted to kiss her. He really wanted to kiss her.
"Emma-"
She placed her hand softly on his chest as she leaned forward, completing the gesture he'd been pondering. Her lips were smooth against his and he rested his hands at her waist as she kissed him. It wasn't overly passionate, but rather meant to assuage his nerves. When he pulled back, she ran her hand down his arm to squeeze his hand. The look she gave him made him believe he really could do this - honestly, that he could do almost anything.
"Okay," she said, sighing as she pulled away. "I'll see you soon?"
"Yeah," he grinned. "I'll get our boy and I'll see you at home."
Outside the preschool building, Killian mused over that moment - over the expression she'd gained when he said 'our boy'. He smiled at the very recent memory as he paced the sidewalk, waiting for his son to emerge from the building. He'd been checking the time on his phone compulsively since he arriving, pulling it from his pocket so many times that he'd even dropped it once.
Dammit, he thought as he had bent down to pick it up. He was relieved it wasn't broken as he stared back at the picture on the background. It was one of Liam and Emma - a simple candid of them both laughing with an outrageous happiness he hoped he'd get to see more often. He could stare at a picture like that endlessly, but the idea that he could see it in person was even more entertaining.
"Papa!"
The single word greeting tore him from his thoughts, his eyes jerking up to see his little dark haired boy running toward him. He allowed a grin to split across his face as he moved toward his son with slowly opening arms.
"Hey buddy," Killian said happily, pulling Liam into his arms with a playful growl as he kissed the side of his head. "I missed you."
"I missed you too, papa," Liam agreed with a smile, placing his hands on his dad's face. "But I knew you'd be here after school."
Killian felt as if he could sink into the sidewalk as he looked at the bold, blue eyes that matched his - honest and pure with the slightest hint of love. As Liam's adoring expression swallowed him whole, he made the commitment to do everything in his power to never forget this little boy again.
