She staggered a bit, and bumped into the wall as she giggled holding a hand to her side. She pushed off the wall, and stumbled forward down the empty alleyway towards their place. Their place where her so called friend had met her up on a couple occasions, and tears filled her eyes. It was all Jossy's fault why Johnny, and her friend turned against her! Johnny was swayed by his need to bed her which was typical of men always thinking with their penis, but now her friend believed lies Jossy told about her! Hysterical laughter bubbled out of her as she lifted a hand to her face to pick out pieces of glass embedded in her skin. She leaned heavily against the wall her eyes closed when she heard a sound behind her making her tense.

"Ma'am are you alright?" she lifted her head up grinning as she kept her back to the distinct masculine voice as she pulled out her knife. She felt excited as she heard footsteps growing closer, and her grip tightened on the knife handle.

"Bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye." she muttered giggling leaning heavily against the wall. Her body hurt from her friend's betrayal, but nothing compared to the overwhelming ache that never went away inside her thanks to Jossy. But it will once everyone that hurt her knew the same pain as she felt.

"Ma'am are you alright?" she heard his voice getting closer.

"Do you know that she killed the man I love, stole my date, and turned my only friend against me?!"

"Excuse me?" she felt a hand on her shoulder, and she turned around smiling before she plunged the knife into his chest. He gasped, and she slid the knife from his body before shoving the blade into his chest numerous times over.

"Well to be fair Johnny didn't actually agree to go out with me, but I could read between the lines." she paused from stabbing him again as he made a desperate sucking noise falling to his knees. She held the knife out to him. "He was supposed to be my masterpiece everything about him was perfect, but Jossy made him say hateful things to me."she sobbed ramming the knife deep into the man's abdomen as his eyes shut his breathing grew labored as he fell back on his back. "You don't bleed quite as nicely as he does." She drew the knife from within his body, and leaned over him. "But don't worry I'll tell Johnny, and Jossy you said hi." she used the man's sleeve to wipe his blood off her favorite knife. "Its very unsanitary to stab you, and then stab someone else with your blood on it I think they would be upset with me." she patted his face. "No offense." she hid her knife away again before she stood up.

She put a hand to her side where her friend had shot her. "Now don't think I'm giving you a show." she chided as she undid her jacket, and lifted her shirt to see her wound. Her crude sewn job was holding up, but a little blood oozed out. Before she hadn't paid attention to her blood her focus had been shutting the wound before she bleed to death, but now she saw it. The quality of her own blood, and her eyes widened as she squealed in delight. She grabbed the limp hand of the man lying on the ground motionless to lift it for a high five. "I bleed beautifully just like Johnny." she grinned ecstatically as she dropped his limp hand so she could hop up, and down in happiness. "Hey buddy wake up you got to see this!"

She paused in her delight when her newfound friend who wasn't answering her just laid there quiet, and it dawned on her. "Oh right sorry you're dead. I forgot." she giggled smacking a hand to her forehead. "My bad I should of showed you before you died. Oh just wait till I tell Johnny the good news although I'm not sure he deserves to know since he said some pretty hurtful things to me. Should I tell him or not?" she peered down to the man who laid unmoving. "I don't have all day for you to figure out if I should tell him or not! Maybe I will once I find my so called friend, and Jossy then maybe we can finally go on our date!" She sighed as she slowly walked to the other end of the alleyway humming as she disappeared into the night.


"Mr. Reese I think its safe to assume we figured out who was posing as Amber Sanderson I looked into Rhonda Sylar."

"What did you find out Finch?" his eyes strayed towards Carter where she laid on his bed sound asleep. His eyes hurt from lack of sleep, and he glanced up at his clock noting it was after one in the morning. After their kiss, and heavy conversation she looked physically, and emotionally exhausted which was why he suggested she lay down. John hadn't heard from Finch since before that, and had assumed he had gone home for the night.

"Rhonda Sylar was a young woman with a bright future as a surgeon, and she's a little older than Amber Sanderson was she is twenty nine years old." John nodded. The woman he saw was young in her twenties which added up so far, but they had been in the wrong direction already once now he couldn't afford for them to be wrong again.

"What does she look like Finch?"

"She fit's the description Mr. Reese she has red hair, and green eyes. Rhonda Sylar was placed into a mental institution for a breakdown when she had tried to commit suicide four, and a half years ago."

"Let me guess when George Sanderson broke up with her?"

"Yes I hacked into her medical file, and his name was mentioned repeatedly in the therapist's notes. It alluded to a sexual relationship, and that she hadn't known he was going to break up with her. She checked herself out after the forced seventy two hour stay, and about a week later she was given the restraining order. She stopped showing up to work, and classes to finish her degree all but disappeared."

"Okay so she tries to kill herself because he breaks up with her then decides to start following the family either in hope he'd break up with the wife, or for revenge. The wife puts a restraining order against her, and tries to work things out with her husband. When things don't work out she asks for a divorce, and the husband doesn't want to give it so he kills her."

"Sounds right so far."

"So if Rhonda is following the family a restraining order isn't going to stop her, and she probably was watching from afar. Joss shoots, and kills the man to save Amber Sanderson which would make sense as to why she repeats Joss made her watch the man she loved die. What doesn't add up Finch is why has she waited so long to come after Joss? Four years is a long time to wait to exact revenge."

"I'm trying to find out more information from the time the detective killed that man to now, but Mr. Reese she has no digital footprint at all its like she has ceased to exist." John's head snapped around when he heard Joss let out an anguished cry.

"We'll talk more tomorrow Finch." he pulled his ear piece out, and stood up. "Joss you okay?" he called out, but was greeted with more whimpering. He walked slowly towards his bed where she laid, and his body reacted to hers as during her sleep his shirt she wore was wrapped around her middle giving him a nice view of her panties. But her blood curdling scream ended his arousing thoughts when she sobbed his name in agony.

"Joss wake up." John whispered as he tried to rouse her as she whimpered, and thrashed in her sleep. "Joss you're having a nightmare wake up!" he gently touched her. Joss reared up screaming once again her eyes wild not aware of her surroundings, and her fist connected with his jaw. John let out a small grunt of pain, but gently held her arms down. "Joss you're alright." he said quietly waiting for her to realize where she was, and he let go of her arms which immediately flung around his neck. John slowly sat on the edge of the bed awkwardly as he felt her entire body tremble as she sobbed in his arms.

"John." her arms clutched him in a vise like grip. "Oh John." she whispered as she buried her head into his chest sobbing. Her entire body heaved as the sobs wracked her, and he was helpless to do anything to make it better.

"Joss its okay it was a nightmare." he whispered as he tried to soothe her in anyway he could. He rubbed his hand on her back feeling her hot tears on his neck falling onto his dress shirt. He didn't know if she heard him or not as she continued to cry hard. So he settled for holding her letting her cry it out.

"I thought you were dead." she gasped, and he could barely hear what she said. But he could swear she said that she thought he was dead. She was having a nightmare that he died? When her sobs quieted down he pushed her back, and ran his thumbs across her wet cheeks.

"You dreamt that I died?"

"She-she…" tears quickly gathered in her eyes all over again, and she drew in a big breath trying to fight them off. "Harold, and I were in s-some building I don't even know where it was." she paused as she trembled, and her voice shook. "Harold f-forced me to go in the room, and you were lying on the floor." she buried her face in her hands, and he knew she was crying again.

"Joss I'm right here." she lifted her head up, but kept her eyes down. Joss hadn't looked at him in the eyes yet, and he wondered what was the matter?

"It was so vivid John you were stabbed so many times, and there was more of your blood on the ground than inside you. You were so pale, unmoving, and you were staring up at me while she laughed! God I can't stop seeing your eyes stare up at me lifelessly!" she lifted her fists to her temples as she clenched her eyes shut, her breathing was rapid, and her body was shaking.

"Joss listen you are breathing too fast you need to take slower, and deeper breaths honey." he whispered. When she took his advice, and he noticed her breathing was still fast, but he wasn't afraid she was going to pass out he brushed his fingers against her chin. "Look at me Joss." he lifted her chin, and she lowered her hands as she continued to shake almost uncontrollably. She opened her eyes, and he saw the stark terror in her eyes. "It was a nightmare." tears immediately welled up once more in her dark depths.

"Please John just hold me." John nodded pulling her to him as he laid down next to her on his bed. He tucked her close to his body, and she burrowed into him as she continued to shake. They laid in silence the only light on was his lamp he had on across the large room where he had been sitting talking with Harold, and the soft glow of his television that was on mute. He ran his fingers up her arm softly as slowly her shaking slowed down, but her tight grasp didn't let up. He didn't know how long it was before her shaking completely ceased. "John?"

"Hmmmmm?"

"Do you always wear a suit even to bed?" he chuckled softly.

"No. You fell asleep so I looked through the rest of the case file, and talked with Harold."

"What time is it?" she asked yawning a bit.

"Its about two in the morning." he said glancing at his watch.

"Oh." her head was on his chest, and he felt like she was squeezing him as if trying to remind herself he wasn't gone.

"You better now Joss?" Her right hand rested low on his stomach, and she looked up at him her grasp loosened just the tiniest bit.

"A little, but I can't sleep." he nodded his head.

"Okay so we'll talk."

"You don't mind?"

"Of course not Joss."

"But I'm sure you're tired."

"We'll talk until you fall asleep."

"I don't see myself falling asleep again." she sighed. He knew she didn't think so because the nightmare was still very fresh in her mind, but if she needed to sleep her body would win out. "Can we talk about anything John?"

"Sure." Joss continued to stare at him, and he smiled a little. "What's on your mind?"

"I don't know what you mean John."

"You got that look again its one I've come to understand."

"What look?"

"The look you get when you want to ask me something you are sure I won't want to answer."

"There is no such look."

"Joss just ask me." he chuckled leaning his head back against his pillows stroking her arm with his fingertips.

"Do you go commando?" out the million questions he was sure she would ask that surely wasn't one of them. He shifted his gaze off his ceiling to look down at Joss in surprise.

"What?"

"You know no underwear under those dress pants." she flicked her gaze down his body, and then back up to his eyes. "So do you?"

"How-why would you assume that?" he grinned at her. She shrugged her shoulders a little, and motioned at his dresser.

"Because I was looking for something to put on earlier before you brought me some clothes, and well I went through all your drawers John. I didn't find any underwear, so I have been wondering."

"So you assume I go naked underneath my pants?!"

"Come on John answer my question."

"What was the question again?" he smirked, and she playfully swatted him on the chest grinning back at him. The terror in her eyes was gone completely which was what he was hoping for.

"Stop teasing John."

"No I don't."

"No you don't wear underwear, or no you don't go commando?"

"I wear underwear Joss."

"So you never go commando?"

"Well I-" he didn't know how to answer that.

"Oh my god you do go commando on occasion!"

"Yes only once in a while if its laundry day, and I don't have any underwear to put on. I do have a pretty demanding job Joss, and sometimes I can't always do my laundry on time."

"Really? What day is that usually?" she grinned cheekily, and he shook his head.

"Why do you need to know that?"

"Why do you answer every question I ask with a question of your own John?"

"Why do you?" she grinned.

"Because I'm a woman which means I can, so answer the question John." he sighed as he shook his head in resignation. Women always used that excuse!

"Usually its Saturday I do my laundry."

"I can't picture you doing laundry John."

"How do you think I have clean clothes?"

"So Saturdays are typically days you go commando that's good to know."

"I don't go commando typically on Saturdays Joss. The only time I do that is if I haven't gotten a chance to do laundry for a few weeks. I have more than 7 pairs of underwear." he chuckled.

"What pray tell are they?"

"Why are we talking about this?"

"You did it again John answering my question with a question of your own! But to answer your question you said we could talk about anything."

"I did didn't I? I guess I just assumed my underwear wouldn't be a topic of conversation."

"Well it is so out with John."

"You won't give up will you?"

"No I won't, and come on its only fair."

"How so?"

"Well you raided my panty drawer so spit it out John. An eye for an eye as the saying goes, but in this case my panties for your underwear."

"I raided your panty drawer because you didn't have any clothes here."

"So, you still know I wear bikini style panties."

"Amongst others." he added looking away as he shifted a little uncomfortable with where this conversation was heading. Imagining Joss in her sexy thong underwear was making it hard to think since all the blood was rushing south of the border.

"Yeah you got to see all my thongs." he closed his eyes as he felt a stirring in his groin at the mention of them. "So come on John alleviate my curiosity are you a boxers, or a briefs man?" he looked at her sighing.

"Both."

"Both?" she cocked a brow.

"They are boxer briefs Joss."

"Uh-huh, now try telling me the truth?"

"Hey how do you know that's not the truth? What you want to look to see if I'm lying or not?" he was about to point to the closet where he kept his underwear, but watched her as she rubbed her hands together.

"Mother may I." she grinned sitting up seemingly having forgotten all about her nightmare. Her hands going to his waistband of his dress pants. John stopped her hands from undoing his belt buckle.

"Joss I meant you could go look in my walk-in closet where I keep all my suits, and dress shirts there is a small dresser in there that I keep my underwear in."

"That's not nearly as much fun John." she sighed, but kept her hands to herself. "Why do you keep them in there?"

"I don't know I dress in the giant walk in closet its just easier since everything is in there."

"You got a walk in closet? That is not fair remind me to ask Finch to pick out my place next time."

"How do you know I didn't choose this for myself?" John liked to think he had decent taste.

"Please like you'd choose anything this nice for yourself, and besides Finch told me a few months back he got a place for you to stay though I was never invited." she sniffed.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked quietly sitting up beside her, and he reached out running a hand across her cheek.

"Mostly, thank you John for humoring me. Its nice to just talk about asinine things, and laugh again."

"You don't have to thank me Joss." she nodded, and he stared at her. She was still only wearing his shirt, and thinking about Joss in thongs had a part of his body responding that could care less about waiting till when she was safe again. "I think I should get out of your bed, and let you try to sleep now." he said quietly, but he made no move to get up instead he just stared at her as if mesmerized by her.

"Why? I think you're fine where you're at right now." she licked her lips, and his eyes darted downwards wanting to groan as he wanted to lean forward to taste them again.

"Because this is a little too dangerous." John forced his gaze back up, and his brain screamed at him to get up.

"You like, and thrive in dangerous situations though John." she whispered putting her hands on each side of his hips bringing their faces close.

"Joss you know what I mean." she looked at him for a moment before sitting back a little.

"I do know John because you're just as dangerous to me as well." she folded her legs beneath her, and he shifted a little so he leaned back onto his pillows. "You know things with Taylor's father was good like any normal marriage we had our ups, and our downs but I loved him. I thought he was my one, but one day it was like a light switch was turned off in him, and he became someone else entirely. He became someone I didn't recognize, and slowly every last loving feeling I had for that man was gone. He hurt me repeatedly not physically, but emotionally which can be just as bad. I was struggling to save our marriage out of loyalty to him because he was the father of my son, and I was in love with who he used to be. But it wasn't enough which finally got me to let it go, and realize I was holding onto a memory."

"I'm sorry Joss."

"My heart was broken, and I never could really find a way to trust my instincts with men again. Which was alright with me because I didn't need anyone to fulfill me I was happy to be reliant on myself." she paused licking her lips a little. "But then you came along John, and you threw my perfectly ordered life out the damned window. I was content on being alone actually I was happy it was just Taylor, and myself but now I'm not. I don't want to spend my life alone anymore John I want to share it with you."

"Even if life with me could mean the end of yours? Joss I have a lot of enemies that want me dead, and they won't care who they hurt to get what they are after. Is that a life you want to live Joss?"

"You think life for me would be bad if we were together because of enemies, and whatever else excuse you can come up with for why we can't be together. So let me ask you since you know everything what type of life do you think I will have without you in it?" her tone got confrontational, and he sighed. Why were they even discussing this since they agreed to do so after she was safe?!

"I don't know Joss."

"Well I do know John, and it would be worse. I rather live in a dangerous world with you in it than live in a perfect world without you." her words were hard to fight, and were making him want to try again.

"You moved on from your ex-husband." he said feeling desperate.

"Yes, I did because I didn't love him anymore. I love you, and thanks to you I know the real difference between just loving someone out of loyalty, and loving someone so entirely it invades your very being." John stared at her seeing the anger diminish from her eyes. "Do you really want me to spend the rest of my life alone John?"

"That's not fair Joss."

"Well I'm not aiming to be fair John I'm just stating the fact because its what will happen if you walk away from me. I'll be alone because I told you before John you are worth waiting for." John stared at her. "I know you've been through a lot I know you don't think you deserve redemption for things you've done in your past. Its hard to let go of the past to move on I know because I've been there where you are at. You feel like you are stuck in its grip, and no matter how hard to try you can't push forward. But its gets better, and easier all you have to do is want to move on John."

"I don't know about moving forward or any of that, but all I do know is that I don't want to hurt you."

"Then no more John."

"No more what?"

"No more talk about cutting ties with me, or leaving because the only way you could hurt me is by refusing to share your life with me. We love each other, and we can heal each other John you just have to be willing to try." John surged up kissing her. It was just too hard, and he couldn't do it he couldn't leave her if he tried. He did the same thing with Jessica thinking it was for the best, and it turned out he was so wrong. He was tired of thinking, and he was tired of trying to push his feelings aside. He knew she had been hurt before, but he didn't quite realize the depth of her own pain until now. It was almost as if they were destined for each other she was broken by what love did when it faded, and he was broken because of love being taken from him. If she could try again so he could he even if it was going to take some getting used too at having a woman in love with him. Joss pushed back out the kiss. "John?"

"Hmmmm?" he rolled them over until she was on her back, and he laid on top of her.

"I know we got our work cut out for us John I know it won't be easy, but the richest things in life don't usually come easily. But I need you to promise me John no more." her eyes were on his searching, and waiting.

"I promise no more Joss." he said, and watched her for a moment as she undid the top half of his buttons of his dress shirt parting it slightly, and yanked the neckline of his undershirt down exposing the top of his chest to her. She kissed where his heart was hammering against his chest, and then laid a hand on his heart lightly.

"Its mine forever, and for always no matter what just like mine is for you." she smiled. John leaned down, and kissed her again needing her more than his next breath of oxygen. He wanted Joss Carter, and he wanted her now.


Author's note: *stretches* okay let me get my pre-running for my life stretches done since I left it off right at the good part. And the smut actually was going to be in this chapter, but it was way TOO long so I split the two chapters up. I feel for Joss, because I know the feeling of loving someone who they once were, and not the new person they become but in my case it was my father who changed because alcohol meant more to him than I did and hurt me for years. I just like delving into character's psyche and ever since that one conversation between John, and Joss in that car about moving on(I think episode 8 of season 2 lol), and that the man she loved changed it weighed on my mind. So I wanted to add that in because she's just as vulnerable as John is, but she's more willing to risk her heart, and move forward than John.

And Rhomber(I think its the best name for Rhonda/Amber for now lol) I laid one or two subtle foreshadowing hints of what's to come in this chapter, so I am anxiously waiting to see if anyone picks up on them or they might be too subtle, and I'm the only one that can see them since I wrote it hahahahahahahaha :)

Thanks as always to everyone that reads, and reviews my stories you guys rock! And I might have my basketball smut I mean story finally ready to post it only took like a whole month longer than I wanted lol.