I turned to Smithy and held out my drink to him. "Want some?" I questioned. I bet I looked like a right div.

He shook his head, an amused smile playing on his lips. Of course he didn't want any of my drink, he could easily get his own.. "Thanks anyway."

I smiled, feeling a little awkward. I didn't want to make eye contact with him, knowing that the second that I did, I'd become speechless as my brain did over-time again. I was going to make sure that I avoided looking at his face at all costs.

"How are you?" He asked.

"Alright. You?" I looked down at his shoes and took a mouthful of my drink.

"I'm good. Haven't heard from you in a while.."

"Yeah, I've been crazy busy." I lied.

"Too busy to even send a text?" He teased.

"Look, what do you want Smithy?" I snapped, shocking myself and him at my outburst. I looked up at him, seeing the shocked expression on his face, but still avoiding his eyes. "I- I'm sorry, I'm not sure why that just happened..."

He placed his hand on my shoulder. "It's okay. Clearly you're stressed out about something."

Yeah, you. I sighed and looked down at the floor, taking another mouthful of my drink.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked.

I shook my head.

"Okay, well I need a drink, do you want another?"

I looked at my glass. "Yes please." I downed the last of what was in it and then followed Smithy to the bar. I sat on a stall and waited as he ordered the drinks, then he turned to face me. I kept my eyes fixed on his shirt to avoid his eyes.

"Been up to much?" He asked.

I shrugged. "Work, you know how it is."

"Yeah, I do." He sighed. The barman placed the drinks down and Smithy slid mine to me.

"Thank you." I said and took a sip.

"Should we find a table?"

I nodded. "Okay."

I slipped off of the stall and followed him to an empty table. I sat down opposite him and took another sip of my drink.

Smithy opened his mouth to talk, but was interrupted by someone calling his name. I looked in the direction of the voice and short woman with tied back black hair was making her way over to us.

"Kim." He smiled and stood up. She hugged him, then sat down at our table. He sat back on his seat and glanced at me before looking back at Kim.

"How have you been? It's been so long! You promised to not forget me!"

Smithy chuckled. "I didn't forget you! How could I do that Kimbo?"

I raised an eyebrow at how he called her 'Kimbo' and wondered how they knew each other.

She giggled. "Well you haven't called me in ages!"

"I've been really busy with work, I'll make sure to catch up with you more often." He told her.

I took a mouthful of my drink and wondered when they'd remember that I did exist and I was still sat here.

And just on cue, Kim turned to look at me. "And who's this? New bird?"

"No, no, not my bird." Smithy said. My heart sunk as he said that, it was silly really.

I looked up at Kim. "Roxanne." I said, holding out my hand for her to shake. "I'm a friend of Rebecca's."

She smiled and shook my hand. "Kim. Rebecca's Mum is a client of mine!"

"Client?" I questioned.

"I do her hair and nails." She told me.

I nodded and took another sip of my drink.

"Anyway, I need to go and find Charlie. Nice to see you again Smithy, and to meet you Roxanne." Kim stood up.

"See ya!" Smithy smiled and we both watched her walk away.

"Well she seemed to like you a lot." I mumbled and drank some more from my glass.

He scoffed. "Don't she half?!"

"I see the feeling isn't mutual between you and 'Kimbo'..."

"You picked up on the nickname then! Yeah, she's a bit of a pain in the backside, but I suppose it's always nice to keep the friends of the family sweet. You never know when you might need a cheap hair cut."

I rolled my eyes. Typical Smithy.

He chuckled. I was about to ask him how Beth and the others were, seeings as I hadn't heard from them in a while either, then paused when I heard Becca's voice. She was stood next to the DJ trying to catch everyone's attention. I twisted my body to look at her.

Once everyone was silent, she spoke again. "Shaun and I would like to thank you all for coming tonight. It's amazing to see everyone so excited about our engagement... Either that or the fact that the party is an excuse to get absolutely out of it." She paused for a minute and looked in my direction. "Isn't that right, Rox?" She teased and everyone turned to look at me.

I laughed and stuck my middle finger up at the bride to be. "You won't be tormenting me on your wedding day when I turn up drunk and tell everyone that you can't get married because I'm so in love with you!" I called back, just winding her up.

Everyone laughed. Becca shook her head whilst laughing. "As much as I know how much you love me, I would appreciate it if you kept our relationship quiet... I'm supposed to be getting married to Shaun!" She joked and everyone laughed again. I turned to look at Smithy who was smirking and looking down at the floor. Becca continued to speak: "So, as I was saying.. Shaun and I are so happy to have you all here and whilst I've got everyone's attention, we would like to announce something!"

Smithy's head moved and he looked up at his sister.

She better not be pregnant! I thought to myself. I still need a drinking partner, and a married mum wasn't the type that can go out whenever with me..

"Tomorrow morning, I will be leaving to go to Scotland.. Shaun's got some business up there, and we'll be living up there for the next fourteen months!"

My mouth dropped open and I blinked in shock. She was what?! Why didn't she tell me before this?! She couldn't move away and leave me... Becca was one of the only decent people still in my life... If she left I'd have no family in London, no best friends, practically nothing.

I didn't listen to what else she said, just turned back to the table and downed the last of my drink, before getting to my feet and rushing outside. I felt a little sick... I was going to be all alone, one of the only reason's that I'd moved into London was because of Becca, and work, but Becca was the only one who'd made the last five years bearable.

I lent back against the brick wall of the building and sighed.

And then there was her brother. I felt alone just knowing that he would still be here and I wouldn't have contact with him. Of course I wasn't going to keep contact, for the past few weeks I'd found out about what he was doing through his sister.. and if she was leaving, then that was it. I didn't want to call or text him, because I didn't want to feel anything for him. I didn't want to be with my best friend's brother, because it just felt so wrong... Yet at the same time, I now felt like I needed him because Becca wouldn't be there.

My head felt all mushed up and I just needed time to think everything through.

"Roxie?"

I looked to my right and saw Smithy stood by the door.

"Are you alright?" He questioned. I didn't answer and looked up at the sky, it was just starting to get dark. "I'm just as shocked as you are..."

"Why didn't she tell us first?" I mumbled.

He lent against the wall next to me. "I have no idea. She didn't even tell Mum."

I sighed. "I'm going to be so alone."

"Don't be silly, you've got me." He said. "Kind of..."

I looked at him. "Kind of?"

He looked back at me, and for the first time tonight, our eyes met. I bit down on my bottom lip and tried to concentrate on what he was about to say, forgetting any of the thoughts that were creeping into my mind.

"Well, I'll be here if you need me, but not for a few weeks, months maybe."

"What are you on about Smithy?" I questioned, confused.

"You can't tell anyone." He said. I nodded, a silent way of agreeing to keep it quiet. "I was asked to go undercover. I'll be leaving everything behind tomorrow. They told me that I wouldn't be able to contact anyone.. I suppose that's okay seeings as there's only me and Mum anyway."

"But what about Becca?"

"Well now she's going to Scotland, she probably won't message as much anyway!"

"And me..." I whispered, then quickly stopped and changed topic. "Well that makes three of us going away then."

"Where are you going?" He asked. Our eyes hadn't left each other's.

"Me and my Mum are going away for the week." I told him.

"Oh, well have fun." He smiled.

It was silent for a few moments, but our eyes were still engaged in each others.

"Smithy... Please be really careful." I mumbled.

"I will." He replied.


I drove down to Essex at seven the next morning. I hadn't drunk as much as everyone thought I would. Partly because I knew I had to drive, and the other part because I wanted to remember saying goodbye to Becca.

Everyone was leaving at early hours in the morning, and I helped Becca and Shaun clean up. Smithy and his Mum, Pauline had also stayed to clean up. I felt sick, knowing that it would be the last time I would see Becca in the flesh for fourteen months, and as we hugged goodbye, I couldn't stop the tears falling down my face. She was going to be in another country...

Eventually, I'd finally said my goodbyes and left, my taxi waiting for my outside. I was stopped as I climbed in by Smithy, who'd grabbed my arm and pulled me into his chest. He'd wrapped his arms around me and I'd stood there and sobbed into him for a minute. I remembered him kissing my head and telling me that everything would be fine. Once I'd calmed down and the taxi driver was well and truly pissed off with waiting, Smithy promised to call me as soon as he withdrew from the undercover work. And then we'd kissed. It was quick, and I knew that it would mess with my head again, but I needed it. I needed him.

I went home and cried some more into my pillow, before eventually falling asleep. I woke up and six and got myself ready to drive to Mum's, still feeling like crap. But I knew that the break would be what I needed, and I knew that Mum would be able to give me advice on everything. She'd prepare me to go back to London, and help me sort my head out.