11.


The spirit world truly sucks. Or, what little she's been privileged to endure is. Gnarled trees, darkness, roots extending into the sky, and a heavy mist, clouding the terrifying lair.. Bizarre creatures, or spirits even, float around her; some are small, others as large as the trees.

But what troubles her more is the fact she can't sense anything. Her Seismic Senses are rendered useless, and her Earthbending no longer exists.

Sight is a difficult thing to adapt to. She really didn't know the world was so colourful; the thousands of textures, shapes, shades. It all feels different. And she feels vulnerable. Completely open. The possession of sight has put her at a disadvantage; it's made her anxious and irritable. The spirit world has given her what she never had, and she's currently living her very worst nightmare.

Deep below, the lair extends, an unforgiving, threatening, and incredibly tempting force beckoning her in. She proceeds further into the lair, because she doesn't have a choice, because she's supposed to, because she knows all too well why she's here. It grows darker, damper, quiet. No signs of life, and it's cold.

Freezing.

Then she realises it isn't freezing at all; she's just scared.

She can hear him – it. His hands, crawling the cave walls, the stench of his breath; and a voice she recognises intimately. Now it makes sense. Now she knows exactly where she is, except the memory of it all feels apart from her true self. As if it's a memory she's automatically blocked; as if it's a memory from another person entirely, which she's unfortunately borrowed.

'Oh, finally.'

Toph turns to the voice, and her face falls.

The other face stares back at her, smiling, studying her, waiting, hoping Toph will crack, and let all of her emotions come pouring through–

'You know this is a dream, right?' He purrs, 'Whatever emotions you show me, it won't matter. None of this matters. You'll wake up, warm in your bed, and everything will be exactly the same. You can be honest with me.'

She can see him, his ugliness, his cruel patience, wanting her to crack.

'I'd rather play safe.'

'It isn't often I have visitors. You must have been dying to see me in order for us to meet.'

'What can I say? You've been on my mind. It's actually annoying. If there's any way to get rid of you, then hopefully this is it.'

'Hm, I do love a special reunion with old friends.'

Toph's heart skips a beat. 'I didn't know you could enter the spirit world simply by dreaming.'

'You've dreamt about me before. Many times,' he crawls along the walls, and she follows him, watches him, almost fascinated. 'I guess your precious Avatar didn't tell you every trick in the book. At least you found it out yourself.' He chuckles, and leans forward, his face inches from hers. 'Only after breaking his pretty little heart.'

She restrains herself from laughing. 'Nice try.'

'I have no hard feelings against you. Nor did I before. You don't mean any harm.'

'Before?'

'You think it's wise to play dumb with me?' His face shrinks back, contorts, 'Fine. How about you both meet face-to-face? After all this time?' Admittedly, Toph feels anxious, uncertain about this prospect, but she doesn't tear her gaze away.

The face is just as she imagined. Ummi looks straight back at her, face gentle, apologetic, and almost motherly. Toph shows nothing. She says nothing, because surely these ideas Aang has had, that Toph might just be the reincarnated self of this woman, are false. They look nothing alike, act nothing alike.

But she can't deny what she's feeling. As much as rationality, or denial, convinces her otherwise, they do know each other.

'I think you should have him,' she – it – says, 'Before it's too late.'

'I don't want him. For the record, nothing will happen.'

'I wouldn't be so sure of that,' Ummi sighs, 'Loving the Avatar always ends in catastrophe. He'll die soon, but he'll die sooner if he's alone; if his life no longer holds meaning to him.'

'That's not my problem.'

'Yes, it is. It's solely your problem. You've made it your problem.'

Toph nearly loses her cool. Miraculously, she manages to hold her ground and not express any emotion. 'I'm not making the same mistake as you did. Trusting him. You do realise it's his fault you lost your life.'

'What would you have become, if he didn't find you?'

Worthless. Still sneaking into contests to earn prizes, and living under a different name. Hiding away, because, as far as her parents were concerned, nobody would give her the time of day. Then there was Aang who cared little about her blindness, and just wanted her, as his teacher, as his friend.

She won't give Ummi the satisfaction of being right. 'I'd have coped either way–'

'Why did you come here, if not for answers?'

'I didn't come here. This is–' a dream. Toph fell asleep, she woke up here, that's all there is to it. 'Don't flatter yourself. You're the last person I'd come to for advice. You ruined the rest of your life over a man – that makes you weak. So, your opinion has little to no value. You're an idiot. You're pathetic. You were so blind out of your love for him, that you were willing to do anything for him, and that I find unbelievable.'

'And look what that blindness has done for you, and for him.'

It has brought them together.

In a better life, a much more improved life.

Toph doesn't reply.

'Don't lose him again.' Ummi's face disappears, and Koh's face returns, watching her curiously. 'I think that'd really break you.' Toph opens her mouth to retort. 'Oh! Careful. You have such a lovely face. One I'd enjoy wearing. Don't tempt me.'

'I'd love to see you try and take it.'

'And how will you defend yourself? Your Bending is gone, you have no weapons. Just your little self.' He looms in, practically pressing his face to hers, and she doesn't budge. 'Hm, he'd be proud of you. You're making such a beautiful effort. But where is your limit?' Toph watches his face mutate again, 'If you don't care about the Avatar at all, like you claim, then does it matter who I turn into?'

Then, for the first time in her life, she can see Aang.

He looks younger than she imagined. He has a rounder face, sharper eyes, and she didn't picture him to appear so–

Kind.

Kindness is what he is. He's soft, sweet, and kind, and his eyes protect a history of misery, disappointment, heartbreak, the sheer need to be wanted.

The tattoo, large and blue, drags down his skull, down his neck. He looks at her, pleading, and Koh will succeed at any second–

She breathes, maintaining her composure. The amount she's feeling, how happy and saddened and shocked she feels, seeing his face, seeing him, when it's been so long

Toph says, 'I prefer the original.'

'Shame,' Koh's face returns, and he's amused, 'I really thought I had you there.'

'For a second, so did I. Guess you'll just have to try harder, eh?'

'He must be special to you.'

Toph blinks, letting that word sink in – special.

'I don't love him.'

'Funny you say that. Nobody said anything about love.'

Koh laughs, and the sound is piercing.

'Sweet dreams.'

.

.

.

Waking up is the worst part. It's the denial first – she can't possibly be dreaming about something so ridiculous, so vivid. The fact her head can conjure up such grotesque images. None of it can be true.

It's been a year since she last spoke to Aang, and his suspicions on their past lives has somehow crept into her thoughts. She can't accept that what he's predicting has any plausibility behind it, but she's never dreamt about that before. Never pictured Koh, this hideous, spider-like insect,, his face right up against hers. And her face, Ummi's, is haunting.

She blames Aang, because it's easier to blame Aang than to accept the reality.

Throwing off the sheets, Toph gives up on sleeping, and prepares for the day.

.

.

.

Most of her travels have been alone. Which is what she wanted. Aang had started to feel claustrophobic. They were around each other too much, they enjoyed each other too much; it made her uncomfortable. Isolation seemed like the best route. To abandon the connections she made back home, and explore whatever else is out there.

It was good. That's the worst she'd use to describe the past year. Good.

But overrated.

Work isn't easy to find, especially when one is blind and doesn't have much to show. And it's not as if she can't show off the fact she saved the world as a child. So, Toph resorted to simpler methods to attain money. Her Earthbending is unique, and her Metalbending is practically unheard of universally.

It only made sense that she show off her Bending instead. And people loved it. She entered tournaments frequently, located in different corners of the world, gathering fans and eager students.

She never thought she'd like it, but teaching isn't as painful as it was with Aang. Most of her students were around her age, anyway, and experienced. With Aang, he had been completely new to Earthbending, and, quite frankly, he was bad at it. To train students who are genuine Earthbenders, and who learn speedily – it's fun, she might even love it, but she was just incapable of staying in one place.

Nowhere suited her. Or, nowhere deserved her. Maybe Toph is picky, or has high expectations, or impossible standards, but she's a hard woman to please, whom demands a lot. It took a lot of hard work to get to where she is now – it only makes sense she be rewarded for that effort.

Then there are the dreams. They come and go. Like an illness.

They frighten her, which only makes them more discomforting. Toph doesn't scare easily, and the fact her own imagination can turn against her, and create these weird figures just freaks her out. It makes sleeping hard. It makes sleeping the worst part of the day. Sometimes, she'd rather avoid it altogether.

Aang has become this constant. This memory, this face, this feeling she can't brush off. She's been with people before, and it's never problematic to forget about them. People are disposable, people don't matter unless you want them to. Sex is sex. As far as Toph is concerned, there's no attachment or commitment involved when it comes to sex.

But Aang was… nice. Having sex with him was nice, and heavy, and easy, and intense. Although he isn't the most experienced lover, he had a decent idea on what to do. And she liked being with him. She liked the fact he could satisfy her, which is rare. Close to impossible, actually. But he just knew. Timid as he was, Aang kissed her and touched her and fucked her so beautifully, he made it almost like art.

Son of a bitch. Damn it. Her life would be much easier if Aang didn't decide to intervene.

With Aang, though, it isn't just the sex. It's being around him. Being in his company. Being noticed by him. His attention on her feels good. It matters to her, as much as she hates to accept that. He's comfortable, he's soft, he's sweet. He gets her, and he gets her blindness, and he gets her Earthbending, and he gets the fact that, sometimes, he can be a little overwhelming. He gets her, and he–

wants her.

Aang made it perfectly clear how he felt, what he wanted.

And those very emotions have somehow corrupted her thoughts.

.

.

.

'Toph? Is that you?'

'Well, unless you have another blind friend with fabulous looks, then, yeah: it's Toph, you nut.'

Sokka's face falls blunt. 'Right. Just – it's been a while!' He steps aside so Toph can enter his home. 'Suki isn't in; she's been away on Kyoshi Island for a couple of weeks now.'

'Oh,' Toph doesn't hide her disappointment. She walks inside. 'I was hoping to talk to her actually.'

'You're stuck with me.' Sokka closes the door. 'I thought you'd visit sooner. Aang and Zuko have finished with Republic City. They think I might have a job, but there's still work to be done, so I don't know yet.' He frowns at Toph's lack of response. Clearly something is on her mind, and it's becoming a nuisance. 'Are you okay?'

Making herself at home, Toph shoves off her jacket, and literally flings herself onto the nearest chair. Travelling can be fun, but also exhausting. Toph is starting to get bored with the whole walking everyday for miles on end deal. It almost makes her miss the agonisingly tedious office work.

'No,' she replies.

Sokka rolls his eyes. He knows her well enough to tell when she's lying. Besides, Toph wouldn't willingly approach a friend, unless there was a problem. The fact Toph was seeking Suki perhaps implies she required a little girl-on-girl talk, which meant–

'Boy problems?'

'What the fuck? Who d'you take me for?'

'There's no need to get defensive!' Sokka grins. 'But you kinda proved me right with that overreaction.'

Toph opens her mouth to retort, and then just can't be bothered. 'Whatever,' she mumbles.

Sokka raises a brow. Grabs a chair, and slides it over to sit in front of her. 'Go on, then. Talk. Open up. How are you feeling?'

'Okay, please stop, because you're creeping me out and– d'you have to sit so close?'

'I'm not sitting that close–'

'I can smell your breath, Sokka. Side note: you might want to get that checked.'

Sokka blinks, stunned. He exhales into his palm, and sniffs. As far as he's concerned, his breath smells perfectly fine. 'O-kay,' he clears his throat. 'So, we've established it's a guy, not a girl. He's clearly upset you.'

'Not upset.'

'Fine, um… discomforted you…?'

Toph sighs heavily. 'Yeah, let's try that one.'

'Which means they matter to you,' Sokka leans back, arms folded. 'Hm.' Tilts his head, studying her deadpan expression. 'Hm.'

'You could just ask me.'

'I–well, yeah, I know, but–'

'You recall the good old days when Katara and Aang were rubbing hips every second?'

Sokka snorts. 'I wouldn't call them good. A whole Nation was tryna kill us. Anyway, I remember.'

'Right. Then, shortly after, that didn't last?'

'Okay. Yeah, I–I know.'

'Well, Katara decided to run off with the Fire Princess, and Aang, um, didn't.'

Sokka pulls a face. 'Is this turning into a riddle or…?'

'I slept with Aang.'

'Oh. Oh.' Sokka lets that sink in. Aang and Toph. Toph and Aang. Then, to the surprise of both Sokka and Toph, he isn't that surprised. 'Huh. I don't really know what I'm supposed to say here, but I gotta ask, was it just a rebound thing?'

'I wish it was.'

'How do you feel about the situation?'

'I don't like that question.'

'Okay. Um, how did you, uh, react to being with Aang?'

'Basically, I decided to travel far, far away from him and anybody who's so much as associated to him. I needed space. He's suffocating. But I've been having these whacky dreams lately, and they're driving me crazy. And I know it's all Aang's fault. And what I want–I want to confront him and give him shit for making me dream about this face-stealer, who apparently stole my face in a past life, according to Aang–'

'Whoa, holy shit, you lost your face?!'

'No, I didn't, but… forget it. That's not important. I just – fuck. Sokka, how did you know Suki was right for you?' Before Sokka can reply, Toph interrupts, 'No, don't answer that. This is why I wanted to talk to Suki.'

'So you could ask her how she knew I was right for her?'

'Pretty much, chyeah.'

'Thanks, that's really sweet.' Sokka shrugs. 'All right. Well, I know you don't really care, but I'll tell you how I knew. And the fact is I didn't immediately. I was still hung up over somebody else, and, to be honest, I thought Suki was way out of my league. I mean, a girl, like her, to want a loser like me? I didn't believe it at first. So, to begin with, it was my own self-esteem which stopped me from thinking we could be together.'

'Great.'

'But I was so caught up in how I was feeling about how she thought of me, to actually find out the truth. Turns out, she felt the same way. I knew she was right for me because, in some ways I am a bit of a loser, but, to her, that wasn't a flaw, it was something she liked. I feel myself around her. Like, I'm safe – it doesn't matter how vulnerable I am, she just – accepts me. That's how you know, I guess. If you're comfortable together. If you trust each other, and feel safe being open and vulnerable, then, that's it.'

Aang has made her feel that: open, vulnerable, close to fragile. And he, too, has been the exact same. He's poured out his heart in front of her, had to collapse to his knees in all his heartache. He trusted her to be open to, to confess to.

They've seen each other in ways nobody else has. And that's what Sokka means. To have that with somebody, that intense connection with another soul, it's just not worth losing. Because that's when you know that person is right for you. When you can trust them. When you can place your heart in their hands, and trust them not to break it.

Sokka twitches a smile. 'Does that make sense?'

'Unfortunately, yes.' Toph groans, and pinches the bridge of her nose. 'Well, now that's been established.' She rolls back her shoulders, grimacing at the very prospect of having to meet Aang again. And not just meet him, but be honest with him. 'Now what?'

'I think you know the answer to that.'


Note: On ao3, I have posted a Toph/Aang fic, which I can't post on FF.N mainly due to formatting issues.

To view the story, then please go to my ao3 account. My username is dustywings (just type that and "ao3" into Google, and I should show up.)
The story is titled "Thief".

Until next time!