Characters belong to SMeyer. Inspiration comes from the Twilight saga and Patrick Sean Smith. Creativity is mine.


Say your faith is shaken
You may be mistaken
You keep me wide awake and
Waiting for the sun
I'm desperate and confused
So far away from you

misery - maroon 5

Chapter Ten: Old Habits Have No Place In A New Year

I propped myself up on my elbows and watched as she stumbled around my room searching for her discarded articles of clothing in a rush, trying to ignore me. It was pretty fucking cute and I couldn't help but smile at her frenzied behavior. I also had to admit I wasn't hating the view of her bent over in those white cotton panties.

"Sleep well?" I teased, shifting forward on the bed and enjoying the way she jumped at the sound of my voice.

She slowly straightened, holding her recovered wrinkled, blue tee-shirt over her chest like a shield. Her eyes were narrowed and burning with intensity. I was pretty sure she'd send my bed up in flames like a god damned Lady Gaga music video if she could. I snapped my mouth shut, not because she was even slightly intimidating, but because I didn't want to upset her further.

"Just close your eyes," she demanded, though her voice was shaky and her cheeks had filled with a bright shade of pink. I found it charming that after the things we'd done last night she felt self-conscious dressing in front of me. She certainly hadn't had as much modesty undressing. I chuckled lightly, but did as I was told.

"I don't do things like this," she muttered. "Whatever happened last night…" I heard her let out a breath of exasperation. "Damn it, where is my bra?"

I groped around on the bed until I felt a strap of cotton against my hand. I opened one eye and twirled the bra around my index finger, watching her pull her shirt on, deciding to forgo the underwear garment altogether.

"Looking for this?" I asked playfully. I got a death glare in return.

"Give it here," she seethed. The fire in her eyes leapt and her nostrils flared.

"Why don't you come get it?"

For a moment, she seemed to consider the idea. She leaned towards the bed with a sigh, her gaze jumping from the bra to me. Just when I thought she might take a step closer, she shook her head and bent to retrieve her jeans.

"You know what? Just keep it. I'm sure you've got a collection. I don't have time for this." She paused for a second, pressing her palms to her forehead then added, "and this? This was a one time thing."

I cocked my head, watching her push her feet through the legs of her jeans. A smug smile crawled across my face as I let her bra fall from my finger onto my chest.

"Well, last night it wasn't just one time," I pointed out with a shrug. Her head snapped up and she wrinkled her nose at me in disgust.

"I said close your eyes!" she screeched.

I held my hands up in mock surrender and did as she said. In the darkness behind my lids I was caught off guard by the strangest of thoughts: how could I prolong our morning? It made no sense, really. She was making it pretty abundantly clear that she had no fucking intention of sticking around, and that was how I usually liked my morning afters. She was also being kind of a bitch, truth be told. Yet…

There was a decent breakfast place a few blocks off campus that served an amazing short stack of blueberry pancakes, half price with your student ID. I waited silently until her movements quieted considering my options and formulating a plan in my head.

"Ok. Now you can look," she said quietly.

I opened my eyes to see Bella now fully clothed, shifting uncomfortably in the middle of my room. She was chewing on her bottom lip in an adorable way that made me suddenly thankful for the sheet tossed over my lower half. Even with the physical activities of last night hours in the past and all her articles of clothing returned to their proper place, she definitely had that post-coital glow. Her eyes were wide and glassy, despite the dark circles below her lower lids, and her cheeks were colored with a soft blush. Her clothes were mussed and rumpled from laying in a careless pile on my floor. And then, there was her hair. Oh good god in heaven, if her wavy, chestnut locks did not epitomize freshly fucked hair then I truly couldn't fathom what would. A few pieces laid flat against her forehead, darkened with the memory of sweat from our rigorous activities, while the rest hung in wild tangles around her face and down her shoulders. I swallowed, trying to find my voice.

"What's your feelings on pancakes?" I asked, still keenly aware of how badly I didn't want our time together to end.

Her eyebrows knit in concentration as though I'd spoken the words in a foreign language she needed to translate and she hesitated.

"Pancakes are okay," she answered unsurely, rocking from one foot to the other and staring at the door.

It was painfully clear that she wanted to leave. I knew I should roll over, mumble some kind of thanks for the fun and provide her with an easy exit strategy just as I did with all the other girls, but something kept me watching her. Worse, I was devising a plan to prolong our time together. I titled my head with a small smile, deciding on gentle persistence.

"Just okay? You obviously haven't had Mae's famou, blueberry silver dollars," I remarked, my stomach growling at the mention of the delicious flat cakes. "I'd be doing you a disservice if I didn't insist on taking you to breakfast. It's my duty as an upperclassmen to see that you get properly acquainted with the better things MBU and the surrounding area have to offer."

She stared at me as though I had sprouted another head, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. Again, it took her a moment to respond and when she did, it was an unexpectedly quiet, unsteady voice.

"No. Thank you. Really." She shook her head and gave me a small, distracted smile, again darting her eyes between me and the bedroom door.

Well, shit. Now my pride was hurt. I could barely even remember a 'morning-after' where I didn't need Emmett's help to physically pry the female from the Phi Chi house, let alone have one turn down an offer of breakfast. I scratched the back of my neck, eyeing the fascinating creature before me. She shifted under my gaze and tugged at the ends of her insanely hot, messy hair.

"I should go."

I wanted to tell her I'd rather she stayed. I wanted to impress upon her the importance of good pancakes. I wanted to grab her by the arm and pull her back down into the cool, white sheets. I wanted more strange talking-sex. I wanted to do a number of unusual things; things completely foreign to me. I did none of them.

"It was nice meeting you, Bella."

Trying to win her over would require obvious effort and I wasn't even sure there would be any reward. I was admittedly exhausted and a little confused and I hadn't had much time to really consider the night as a whole. Maybe it was better if she left.

"Thank you," she mumbled and slipped quickly out the door, clicking it closed quietly behind her before I could say anymore.

I wondered briefly if she was thanking me for something specific or if it had been a reflexive sentiment. Her thanks could have been for any number of things - my fraternity's hospitality, my unrivaled skills in bed, my comment on the enjoyment of meeting her - or she just could have been being nice. I frowned and leaned down deeper into the pillows. It was far too early in the morning, and, more importantly, the year to get all hung up on the semantics of some random party girl.

But even as the thought passed through my consciousness I was not so foolish to think that Bella was just some random party girl.

o 0 o 0 o 0 o

Grabbing a beige, plastic tray from the beginning of the breakfast line, I scanned the tables in the Tillet dining hall, searching for my little brother. He was wise beyond his years and I, quite simply, needed to find a logical party to knock some fucking sense into me. Because even after Bella had left and I'd sworn to push her from my mind, she'd remained there. When I tried to get comfortable again in bed and catch two or three or ten more hours of sleep, all I could think about was the empty space her warm body had occupied last night. This was all ridiculous and cheesy and, well, fucking frustrating. After a good twenty minutes of tossing around and wrestling with restless thoughts, I'd gotten up.

The house was completely quiet and I knew it would likely remain that way for most of the day as the brothers attempted to sleep off hangovers and recharge for whatever ridiculous thing ended up on the agenda for tonight. I guessed some of them hadn't stumbled to their rooms and passed out that long ago, either.

I'd quickly changed into a pair of athletic pants and an MBU hoodie before heading downstairs, smiling to myself when I saw the ground level in utter disarray. There were bottles and cans and half empty cups everywhere. Three empty pizza boxes cluttered the pool table and it appeared that someone had toilet papered the living room. Furniture was uprooted and rearranged. It was a disaster. It was also the sign of an epic start-of-term party. Unfortunately, I couldn't revel in the small success for long because I had much more pressing matters to attend to.

As sure as I was that the other brothers in the house wouldn't be stirring until late afternoon, I knew one was already out for his morning coffee. I knew that he was my best shot at a sobering dose of reality concerning this mysterious succuBella and her meddling, mind-fucking ways. And so, I'd gone down to Tillet at the ungodly hour of ten-thirty am, hoping Jasper could help me clear my head.

It was still too early on a Saturday morning for many students to be dragging their sleep-deprived asses to the dining hall, so I easily spotted him sitting at a small table in the back against the windows. Moving to the scrambled egg station, I let my thoughts wander. I couldn't understand what the issue was nor exactly what really I intended to tell Jasper. I was having enough trouble coming to terms with the night in my head, let alone trying to explain it to someone else.

After all, last night hadn't been particularly unusual. Start-of-term parties were always the same. It was crowded and crazy and teeming with new freshman eager to immerse themselves in the perks of college life. A few of them got sick and some of them passed out and most got a healthy enough helping of 'college life' to keep them from returning anytime soon. It was the same shit every semester. It was equally unsurprising that I'd woken up next to a half-naked female. What was out of the ordinary was that the half-naked female had a name I remembered.

I mean, I wasn't a complete ass. In my defense, said partially clothed female bed occupants rarely remembered my name either. I was a Phi Chi brother and that was enough. It was always an unspoken, mutual agreement between participating parties - girls assumed frat boys only wanted sex and, well, most of us certainly weren't going to turn it down. No one expected flowers or follow-up.

However, this morning I had changed the natural course of mixer-night hook ups. I had extended a breakfast invitation and subsequently been rejected. Neither of those things ever happened. Ever.

I'd been so lost in thought that I hadn't realized I'd reached the end of the breakfast line. I looked down at my plate to see I'd somehow gone through the motions of accumulating a scoop of runny scrambled eggs, two burnt sausage links, a piece of rye toast and an apple. I didn't even like rye bread. I dumped the entire meal, ceramic dish included, into the garbage as I imagined sitting across from Bella at a blue checkered cloth table in Mae's, both with a heaping hot stack of blueberry pancakes. My stomach growled in annoyance, knowing the visual was just a tease, but it wasn't the only part of me stirred by the scene in my imagination.

I sighed and quickly crossed the dining hall. Jasper looked up from his newspaper and coffee as I approached his table. I cocked an eyebrow as I scanned the Business section he'd been reading. I swear, if I didn't see the guy do keg stands on a regular basis I'd think he was a sixty year old living in a college student's body.

"A bit early for you, isn't it? Don't your kind hate sunlight?" Jazz asked, folding his paper in half as I pulled out a chair across from him and sat down.

"Heard you had a good night," I teased, ignoring his jab. I'd seen Jasper periodically throughout the evening and though the hour changed, the company didn't. A tiny, black-haired girl had remained glued to his hip and from my vantage point, he wasn't hating it. Emmett later mentioned her name was Ally or Alex or something with an A, but more importantly he said she'd come with Rosalie, as had Bella.

"I'd say it was above-average." He grinned and took a slow sip of coffee, his eyes glancing quickly around the room. They widened suddenly and he stood, sloshing some of the hot liquid out of the paper cup and down the front of his white tee-shirt. Oblivious, he waved his other arm.

Slowly, I twisted around in my seat to find what had elicited such un-Jasper-like behavior and, almost immediately, I found the source. By the doors, scanning the room on her tip-toes, was said tiny, black-haired girl. Her eyes passed over our table and she beamed, returning Jasper's wave before heading in our direction.

"What the…? Alex is meeting you for breakfast?" I asked in an accusatory whisper, lowering my voice to a hiss even though she was still much too far across the room to hear me.

"Alice," he corrected without looking at me. "And yes."

"Doesn't that, like, go against fraternity rules somehow?" I felt the oddest twinge of jealously. I knew I was being childish, but I simply couldn't stop myself.

Jasper laughed and rolled his eyes. "New year, new rules."

I didn't get a chance to respond because Alice had reached our table. She and Jasper took a few moments to smile at each other like idiots before he pulled out the seat next to him and offered it to her with a sweep of his hand. I covered my mouth with the back of my arm to avoid gagging.

"Hello, Edward," she said, reaching for the pile of napkins near the window.

I dipped my head in greeting, though it likely went unnoticed because her full attention was now on the task of blotting the light brown coffee stain on Jasper's shirt and giggling. I wasn't surprised she knew my name. After all, I was the president of the fraternity she'd spent the evening at, partying and apparently performing some evil, voodoo love shit on my little brother. I could see my much needed man-to-man talk with my best friend was not going to happen, though in light of these very recent events I doubted I'd be given the reality check I'd been looking for anyway. Evidently, breakfast with the freshman girl you'd spent the night with at the start-of-term party was appropriate now. Who knew?

Too bad mine had turned me down, I thought bitterly.

"So, did you have a nice time last night?" I asked, surprised by the slightly sour tone in my voice. Alice's hands stilled and she tossed the damp, crumpled napkin onto the table.

"It was a great party," she responded, shooting a sideways glance at Jasper that I couldn't decipher. "It's just…" She hesitated, her fingers moving to play with the edge of the discarded napkin. "It's too bad my friend…Bella…ended up leaving. I just hope she isn't mad at me." She gave Jasper a small smile and he returned it with a sympathetic one.

"She…left?" I asked, trying to seem nonchalant, even though my interest had definitely been piqued.

"Um, yeah. I mean, the party was really great," she answered, obviously thinking I might be offended someone had left my party early. "It's just that she's not really into the whole party scene. I went to find her around twelve to make sure she was alright, but she was gone. I was a little worried, honestly. I've never seen her so," she paused, searching for the right word. Seemingly unable to find the proper one, she simply shrugged. "But, Rosalie promised she had talked to her. She told me everything was fine and that Bella she was safe and in bed."

I almost choked on my tongue. Jasper eyed me suspiciously as I coughed and sputtered and pushed his half-empty coffee cup towards me 'Safe and in bed' was certainly one way of describing where Bella had been last night. I knew Rosalie was truly something else, but that comment took her nerve to a whole new level.

"I do think she had fun while she was there, though. I mean, I've rarely seem Bella really let go like that." Alice shrugged and beside her Jasper cocked an eyebrow mischievously.

"Funny," he said, idly tracing the edge of the table with his middle finger. "Edward made it a pretty early night as well."

I glared at him, my face heating unexpectedly. I wasn't sure why I was suddenly feeling so private or modest. Bella hadn't asked for my silence, but somehow I knew she'd be mortified if I made the table privy to last night's activities. Although, if the details were safe with anyone, it would definitely be Bella's best friend. Still, I jerked my head sharply at Jasper, hoping he got the message. Thankfully, his smirk faded.

"God, are you guys as hungover as me?" Alice groaned. She was perched on the edge of the table, holding the sides of her head with her hands. "I don't know what Emmett put in those red cups at the end of the night, but it definitely wasn't any kind of juice I've ever had."

Jasper chuckled and shook his head. "Emmett's last call party juice?"

She nodded, pressing her fingers against her temples, and slid off the table. "Maybe I should eat something."

"Grease," I said distractedly. "Eat something greasy. It will help."

"And apple juice, not orange," Jasper added in agreement.

We both knew exactly how she was feeling. Emmett's 'last call party juice' was a concoction of all the liquor left over at the end of a party. If there were only a handful of beers left, he often threw them in as well. It was fucking nasty and strong and a recipe for liquid hangover. Unfortunately, by the time last call party juice was being served, you were already to drunk to give a shit.

Alice seemed to consider our advice for a moment before nodding. "Can I get you guys anything?"

When we both declined, she headed for the breakfast line, finally giving me some much needed alone time with Jazz. He leaned forward with his palms on the table and narrowed his eyes as I slouched down in my chair, running my fingers through my hair.

"Well?" he asked, knowingly.

'Well," I repeated with a sigh. "I was with Bella last night."

Jasper pressed his lips together tightly, but otherwise looked unsurprised.

"And this morning," I added. "She never left last night."

The hint of a smile played at Jazz's mouth and he made an 'mhmm' sound in his throat. His reaction certainly didn't match the small flicker of panic that had leaped I my chest since I'd woken up. I needed him to understand the severity of the situation.

"We…talked," I whispered.

Now Jazz broke out into laughter, sitting down heavily into the chair across from me.

"Stop the presses! Talked? Good god man, think of the children!" Jasper grinned and clutched his chest, his words laden with sarcasm. Then he straightened and shrugged. "Yeah, so? Alice and I talked too. It must have been a nice night for talking."

I rolled my eyes and leaned over the table towards him. "No. We didn't just talk. We talked…while doing it."

Jasper shook his head and rolled his now empty coffee cup between his palms. "And this is worth mentioning to me because?"

"Because!" I shouted in exasperation. I lowered my voice again when I noticed a few people seated at near by tables glance over. "Because, it's wham, bam, thank you ma'am. That's how it works. That is the tried and true way it goes. There is no commentary involved."

Jasper regarded me silently for a moment before his shoulders hunched forward and he laughed, eyes crinkled with amusement.

"It's not funny," I hissed, feeling more uncomfortable than ever. I scrubbed my hands against my face in exasperation.

"Sorry, sorry," Jasper offered, slowly recovering from his laughing fit. "Commentary, man? You make it sound like someone was giving a play-by-play." He cleared his throat and began in a serious tone, "'well folks, it looks like Edward Cullen is off to a good start this season. Though fans have been disappointed in past performances it appears things are already heating up tonight. While it's still uncertain whether or not he'll score, he's definitely putting himself in good position."

"Hey, I never leave the fans disappointed," I argued, but now I was laughing along with his sportscaster impersonation.

"Jessica Stanley would beg to differ," he shot back.

"Low blow." I pulled my face into a frown and shuddered. Just hearing her name triggered my gag reflex, something I was ashamed to know she didn't have. Thankfully, Jasper changed the subject.

"You guys talked during sex? So what?"

I considered his question for a moment, realizing I wasn't quite sure why the banter had unnerved me so much. It hadn't been horrible, really. In fact, if I thought about it, I'd actually kind of enjoyed it. Maybe that was the issue.

"I liked it?" I had intended it to come out as a statement, rather than a question, hoping my confession would alert him of the problem. Maybe then he would leap across the table, shake me by my shoulders and warn me to never see her again. But instead, I just sounded unsure. And stupid.

He simply shrugged. "Ok?"

Now I was getting annoyed. Jasper was the logical one out of our trio and he just wasn't seeing the dire situation for what it was. There was obviously something wrong here and I needed him to snap me out of it. The sex itself had been above-average at best. It was certainly nothing to get all worked up over, but for some reason I was all bent out of shape over the teasing and casual observations. Something in my brain was out of whack and it was too early in the year to be losing my mind.

Unfortunately, the conversation came to a close when Alice plopped down next to Jasper, tray heaping with a mound of eggs and bacon on buttery toast. It would have been fascinating to stay and see where the hell she planned to put all that food, but I was starting to think that maybe I had sought out the wrong brother for advice. I flipped the hood of my sweatshirt up over my head and stood.

"Leaving, man?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah, I need some more sleep."

He nodded slowly and I said goodbye to Alice before turning and heading for the doors, feeling even more confused and unsettled than when I'd come.


say hi, yeah?

:)