Ginny Weasley just hexed me. She just came up to me and hexed me, I blocked it, but then she started yelling at me about how I was using Hermione and she was being stupid. This last remark set me off. I couldn't help it, I don't like it when someone insults Hermione. I told her that Hermione isn't being stupid, that she shouldn't be upset with Hermione about it, and that Hermione is the only person I've known in a very long time, or at all, that hasn't been using me. This shut her up. She apologised, but I don't know whether to tell Hermione or not.
Another thing I probably should tell Hermione, I wasn't at school at all last year. She knows I wasn't there for most of it at least, but I wasn't there at all, I've been acting as if I was there all along, and I know what I need to prepare for, but I really have no idea, I don't want her to have a low opinion of me, especially since Ginny Weasley is just starting to respect me a little more. I don't know whether to tell her either of these things, but I probably should.
Hermione's walking past just now actually, a perfect chance to catch up with her, I need to. She's on her way to the library. "Draco, I was looking for you!" Hermione calls out, spotting me. "Looking for me? In the library?" I ask in disbelief, "Well, you never know…" she sighs, "Anyway, I was looking for you because I just talked to Ginny." I pause, did Ginny tell her? Everything? Or did she just make something up, something that sounds better for her? "She told me everything, she said she hexed you, and that she yelled a lot, and that you defended me," she smiles quickly when she says this, "She also said she apologised, and that you told her to start talking to me again, and you told her not to blame me." she continues, smiling again. "Thank you, Draco." Hermione steps towards me and hugs me.
As much as I am enjoying Hermione being happy with me, I still wish I could gather the courage to tell her about last year. She might feel unprepared, as if she doesn't know what she's doing, she isn't fun when she's stressed. I am the person who she asks when she doesn't know what we'll be doing this term, so I'll make something up and hope it's true. I don't want to do that anymore, I want to be honest with her. I love her.
Hermione releases me and looks up into my eyes, looking a little confused. She tilts her head and asks, "Draco, are you ok? You look worried, is there something you want to tell me?" I sigh again and start walking towards the library, leading her to a table and we sit down. Hermione reaches her hands across the table and takes mine. "What is it?" She asks again. I look deeply into her muddy brown eyes, stroke her forehead and then look back down at the table. "I love you. Just remember that, because I've been lying to you a little bit. I know that I said I was here for part of last year, but I wasn't at all, I was here as much as you were. I was with my parents… and… Voldermort. You know I was a deatheater, but you don't know I was dedicating my whole year to it. I promise you that it wasn't because I wanted to. I was terrified, of Voldermort, of my parents, of what might happen to me if I didn't do everything I was told… I was just scared, now I know that's a stupid reason too, but I just wanted you to know that I would never have chosen to do that."
Hermione stares at me for a moment, blinking, then starts speaking, "Draco, I know you weren't here all year, that's why I kept asking you about what we're supposed to be studying this term, because I wanted you to admit you didn't know. Just tell me these things in the future. I might already know, and I know you were scared, I know you didn't want to do the things you did. It's just not you, I knew you were only scared, but I will admit, it is a stupid reason, but peer pressure, especially from your parents, is hard."
That was easier than I thought it would be. I'm quite glad Hermione already knew, because she's not upset about any of it. It's Christmas Eve now, I'm at home, Hermione's in he kitchen, cooking, we're going to her house for dinner, and she's making something for me to take. I'm in the living room, waiting for her to finish up, I don't know a thing about muggle cooking, so I'm no help to her. As soon as she's done, we're leaving. I'm a little nervous. I've met Hermione's parents, and I've had proper conversations with them, and her father has given me the 'If you hurt her' speech, because he knows that I have, but I've never sat down in their dining room for a meal before.
During dinner Hermione and her parents talk a lot, I don't really know what to say, but every now and again someone will address me, so I respond, but that's about all. After dinner I stay for a little while, helping out with after-dinner chores and last minute Christmas arrangements. When I leave, I feel strange, I haven't spent a night alone in my house for a long time.
On Christmas morning, I head over to Hermione's house again. She's been up for a while, she hands me a present and hugs me. I smile and hand her a present too. I open mine, it's a broom-polishing & cleaning set, and broom gripping gloves. Hermione opens her present next, I gave her a new quill and ink set with her initials printed on the side of the ink bottle, I also added in a red wax candle for sealing letters, with a 'H' stamp to press into the wax seal. "Oh, Draco I love it! It's beautiful!" She cries, excitedly, "I'm glad you like it, and thanks too, these are great!" I say, trying on the gloves and examining them.
Later on Ron and Harry stop by to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, Ron is wearing a maroon jumper with a golden 'R' knitted on the front. "Is your mum still making you wear them?" Hermione asks, noticing the jumper too. Ron sighs, "No, I chose to wear it today, she was giving everyone their jumper and she got all choked up when she handed George his, because she usually has one for Fred too. So I'm wearing it to show I care really." he explains. Hermione's eyes widen, "Oh, yes, it's your first Christmas without Fred!" she gasps, clapping her hands to her mouth, then hugging Ron tightly.
When the holidays are over, I go to Hermione's house again. We're all catching the train together again. I've sort of missed Hogwarts. I've never missed it before. I guess this year has been the best so far, and it's already half over.
