A/N Sorry for the lack of updates I wanted to write something that conveyed the hurt that was caused by Jane and Angela, but nothing was coming out like I wanted. I hope this does this chapter justice, if not please let me know about it. I said in the beginning this was my first story so any feedback could only help. Thank you!
Chapter 11
Maura sat in Jane's room. She was anxious to hear the results, and to tell Jane that her mother was coming. Maura worried about what their interaction would be seeing as they haven't spoken in six months. Maura hoped given the situation they could forgive one an other. She was surprised to see Angela walk tentatively through the door, she had hoped to talk to Jane before she arrived.
"Angela thank you for coming, this will mean so much to Jane." Maura said trying to hide her surprise
"As I said on the phone, I'm doing this for you Maura. I need you to understand that, Jane still hasn't earned my forgiveness." Angela said rather harshly.
" Yes well I appreciate you being here,... it's been rather hard dealing with this alone."
Angela held her arms out and walked towards Maura enveloping her in a warm hug. She took a deep breath to calm herself down. "Of course honey, sorry. This must be hard on you, how have you two been together? have you talked."
Maura stepped back away from Angela suddenly feeling like a small child about to disappoint her mother. She cleared her throat trying to hold her tears back. " Communication between us has gone... well"
Angela's eyes squinted as she looked at Maura. " You're avoiding Maura. That tells me that you have something you're afraid to tell me, and that could only mean one thing. You forgave her!
Maura looked up at Angela noting the hurt that had washed over her features. She never intended to hurt Angela, after all she had become so close to her through the divorce and after. She wondered what she would have done without Angela's help and motherly guidance. This was her life though, and she loved Jane, she was the love of her life. If that meant that she would have to be looked upon in such a way by Angela than so be it. She hated that she was the one to hurt a woman who had given her so much, but Angela just had to understand that they belonged together.
Angela could tell by the silence that Maura was taking Jane back. She shook her head and after a big sigh she said "After all she put you through, you could go back just like that. I don't get it Maura, I don't. I had to pick you up of the floor literally. What could she possibly have said to wipe all that away."
"Angela I never wanted to hurt you, you have to understand that. I feel closer to you than my own mother, but this is my life. I need her Angela, I'm not whole without her. I have the chance to feel again,to laugh, breathe and live again. Please... please understand that."
Maura ran her hands through her hair she was becoming frustrated. There was no easy answer to Angela's question or at least not one that would satisfy her. Maura couldn't even explain it to herself she was still holding on to the pain of the past but she also knew how much she loved Jane and nothing would ever change that. " Angela trust me please, I know what I am doing... I remember all the pain and let downs I do, but I also remember the love. I need that back in my life, I need her."
Maura held her hands up pleading with Angela to just trust her and keep her mind open. Angela could see the truth in her eyes, one she thought she would never see again. Maura was finally whole again, and she could never be mad about that. She walked up to Maura, placed both hands on her shoulders and smiled " How could I stand in the way of love sweetie."
Maura and Angela were hugging and crying as Jane was brought back in to her room. She looked over at both women excited to finally have her mother here a thought she would never normally admit but after not hearing from her in days she didn't care who knew.
" Ma oh my god I'm so glad to see you. Please before you start yelling or whatever let me just say I'm sorry for whatever it is that your mad at me for."
Angela couldn't believe what she heard. " Jane Clemintine Rizzoli how dare you give a half ass apology to me after all you said."
"Why don't we wait until the room is clear." Maura said.
It wasn't until Maura said that both women realized there was still orderlies and nurses in the rooms. Both woman stayed quiet but glared at each other looking as though they were both ready to pounce the moment the room was clear. As if the whole room could sense this the staff worked fast to remove them self from the room.
Jane was the first to speak. " Ma I have no idea what I said to you, If you bothered to check on me earlier you'd know that I can't remember a damn thing."
" Well lucky you than, cause I can't forget."
" Okay, lets just calm down for a second and talk this out in a level that the whole hospital can not hear." Maura said.
"Ma please I don't want to fight with you. I don't your my mother, please just tell me what to do." Jane begged
"I will not have your apology until your mind is refreshed."
"Angela that statement doesn't really." Before Maura could finish both women glared over at her.
Maura stopped dead in her tracks and decided that this probably was not the best time to correct either one of the hot-blooded Rizzoli woman. " Uhm I think I will go grab some coffee, while you two talk."
Maura grabbed her purse and walked over to Jane leaning down to Kiss her cheek. She also moved a stray curl out of Jane's face. "I love you."
"I love you too."
"Ma please sit."
Angela looked over at the chairs but decided she need to stand if she was going to have to relive their falling out. " I'm fine standing."
"Okay...Please tell me what happened Ma."
Halfway through Angela's account of the argument, It was as Jane was being transported back to Frankie's apartment, she could remember everything and it crushed her. She never imagined she could be so cruel to one of the closest people in her life.
Jane seekd some solace at her brother Frankie's apartment after she decided to leave Maura. She didn't know where else to turn so she ended up there, where she could trust that her brother would tell her just how much of an ass she was. She wanted to be berated and punished for what she just did. How could she hurt the one person who loved her better than any one before. After a day of Frankie letting his anger out, and Jane taking it. He left her to go to work, but not without telling her he still loved her. Jane was lounging on the couch when she heard Frankie's door open and slam shut. Jane looked to see her mother walk in.
"Whoa Ma take it easy ha."
"What did you do?"
Jane sat up on the couch placing her elbows on her knees "Ma not now okay, this is between me and Maura stay out of it."
"No I will not especially after I had to literally pick your wife up off the ground. Tell me it's not true you're not leaving her"
"Ma I said stay out of it!" Jane's voice was becoming more agitated
"Staying out of things is your specialty."
Jane jumped up facing her mother knowing full well where this argument was going " Whats that supposed to mean Ma"
"Like you did with Tommy, and look where that got him. Drunk and out on the streets."
" I fail...you still want to blame me for that don't you, cause lord knows its easier than admitting you failed as a parent."
As soon as the words left Jane's mouth she regretted them, but it was to late they were out. Angela looked on devastated, she walked closer to Jane
"How dare you, he came to you for help, you not me. He needed you and you turned your back on him, now we don't know if he's alive or dead."
" I'm not his keeper Ma, I'm not, you're his mother if any one is to blame its you. You should of been a good mother instead of a good catholic. He told you many times he needed help and what did you say come to church, pray, ask god for help. He didn't need god he needed a mother who didn't turn a blind eye."
Angela slapped Jane across the face, tears in her eyes. "You don't think I ask my self why...why i didn't do more everyday. I'm not perfect but he came to you that night, he begged you for help, and you literally closed the door on him. You turned your back on everyone who mattered. Just like your no good father, now you will be alone just like him."
Jane still had her hand on her cheek where she had been slapped. " Oh how perfect you bring up another person in your life you couldn't keep around, pop wasn't too blame for leaving you are."
Frankie ran in hearing the yelling from outside his door. " What the fuck is going on."
"Ask your ingrate sister"
"Ask your insane mother." they both yelled at the same time.
"You both need to calm down, Ma I know your upset about the divorce but it's Janie's life okay."
" No it's not just her life it's Maura's, and the twins as well. Have you even given any thought to your babies."
Jane walked to the fridge and pulled out a beer, placing it on her cheek " The kids will be fine, I will make sure of that."
" Just like you made sure that you would look out for Maura. Do you not remember your vows Jane?"
"Ma for the last time stay out of it, it's got nothing to do with you. And don't go running your mouth to the whole neighborhood."
"Don't worry Jane I wont say a word to the neighborhood, or you." Angela said as she stormed out of the apartment.
Both Jane and Angela were in tears, Jane had her hand over her mouth too shocked at what she just was told and remembered to speak. Angela could see the profound pain in her daughters face. She wanted to hold her, and tell her it would be alright but she couldn't just yet, she needed to hear an apology.
" Ma... Ma I'm so so sorry. please. Something had to be wrong I would never say such horrible things. I'm...ma I'm sorry please believe me." Jane said while sobbing.
Angela knew they had both made mistakes in that argument. She put to much blame on Jane, she wasnt the only one who held blame. Angela walked over to Jane and held her hand causing Jane to cry even more. "It's okay baby, I'm here. Shhh." Angela sat on the edge of the bed and held onto her daughter crying along with her letting go of all the pain.
