AB_POV:

I looked at Jasper fighting back the knee-jerk desire to be willful,

"If you come across Victoria or any vampire that means me harm while you are staying in Boston, I would greatly appreciate you... disposing of the threat but who knows how many Victoria has told, possibly even the Volturi I doubt even if you killed her I would be truly safe. Your family exposed me to a world I wasn't allowed to know about and then left me vulnerable to the consequences. Eventually I am afraid no matter what you do I will be made to pay for my mistakes."

"You're right, you never should have been put in such a position in the first place but I promise you... You will no longer be left alone to face the consequences I will always be here now, even if you can't see me. I will not leave you unprotected." He sounded like a nobel knight when he spoke, it made me swoon a little.

"Well if your sticking around we should schedule your third session, you still have quite a bit of work to do, don't think I've forgotten." He gave me a crooked smile at this and my panties where suddenly dampened... dear god please don't let him be able to smell that. What is going on why is he affecting me so.

"Wouldn't dream of it." I saw him inhale deeply and I wanted the ground to swallow me whole at that point.

J_POV:

I hadn't seen AB, can't believe i've gotten used to calling her that, in four days and I was coming apart at the seems. Never thought the day would come where I would be excited to go to therapy.

Her receptionist greets me on her way out.

"Good evening Mr. Whitlock, Ms. Higginbotham with see you now just go straight through."

"Thank you."

When I walk into her office my eyes greedily drink her in... even though its only been four days I can't believe I've survived this long without her. She instructs me to take a seat and we pick up where we left off.

"Have you thought any more on what happened the night of my 18th birthday?"

"Yes, although it has been a great struggle having so much of what I thought I knew challenged so completely. I took a step... possible lunge when you had a paper cut but when you where bleeding profusely I was able to be led out of the house by only Emmett its hard to reconcile those two things."

"Well that what I am here to help you with." She gives me an encouraging smile and I want nothing more than to bask in it but I continue on.

"You asked me to peal back the layers of emotions so I could assign away those that weren't mine, we covered all but Edward."

"And what is it that Edward was feeling?" She asks me but in a completely calm non intrusive way as if we aren't talking about her first love.

"When you where opening your gifts he was feeling pride, adoration, sympathy... when you cut your finger his emotions switched to anger, worry, frustration... and strangely possessiveness."

"What about when I was on the floor when you where being lead out?" I don't want to tell her, I don't want to hurt her but she doesn't seem at all afraid of the possibility of my answer.

"Hungry, lustful, and annoyed."

"Good now we can explore what you where feeling." She says completely unfazed or hurt. She must read my expression. "You seem confused Jasper?"

"I am... I am having a hard time accepting you not being hurt by any of this, not that I want you to be but-" She holds up her hand to stop be from rambling.

"It's alright, I understand but this is your therapy, I don't come into it. We need to keep the focus on you. You won't be able to hide behind anyone else's emotions in here, not even mine. And thats a good thing, trust me." And I do I trust her more than I've ever trusted anyone and I so badly want to confess that to her but I hold it back knowing it wouldn't be appropriate especially giving the setting and if I've learned anything about AB its how seriously she takes her job, as she should she's incredible at it. There is something so unbelievable sexy about an intelligent self assured woman... I have to put a stop to this line of thought because me jeans are starting to get uncomfortable.

"My emotions that day... tired, hungry, sad, lonely, annoyed, bored, similar to another day for me but when you cut your finger I felt." I stop as soon as I've recognized the emotion I can't possible tell her this.

"Jasper? What's wrong you look panicked?"

"I I I'm sorry Anna I can't, I can't tell you this,"

"Why not?"

"It's not appropriate, its... ungentlemanly." I slowly raise my eyes to her pleasing not to insist I explain further.

"Ungentlemanly..." she thinks on this for a second before picking up what I meant to imply.

"You mean you where aroused?" I want to hang my head in shame but I resist, it would be a pussy move... something Edward would do and I refuse to be him so I hold her gaze and give a nod in the affirmative. She seems a little taken aback by this, well its nice to know somethings can still effect her when she's in therapist mode.

"Alright," She says pulling herself together, "Anything else?" It genuinely surprises me what next I identify I was feeling.

"Protectiveness." She smiles softly at me and so much for not being a pussy because I swear I just melted inside. She closes her notebook and sets it aside.

"Jasper that whole night was a clusterfuck." I am shocked by her language but also slightly turned on by this new side of her.

"I never wanted that party, or any fuss to be made. That night was not about me. It was about Alice, Edward, and your parents. Alice wanted to throw a party with flowers, and crystals, candles, and a giant cake only I would have had a small piece of. Edward wanted to show me off, dressed up like a proper lady. I was a reflection of him and he wanted to flaunt me and himself a bit. Your parents wanted a child's birthday, a real one to celebrate again. That was not a party for me." She seems a bit sad now and I want nothing more then to take her in my arms and comfort her.

"That night exposed fractures that had been there all along but that we had all decided to play blind to. I wasn't accepted in your family the way I thought I had been, I wasn't accepted by myself. Your and Rosalie's discomforts where ignored and pushed aside. Your family wasn't as perfect as I saw them as and it was unrealistic of anyone to think I would bring happiness and peace to you all. That wasn't my job... its not fair to make that anyone's job but I think you have spent years taking it on anyway."

I think about what she has said, and I know there is truth to it. I often used my gift to keep peace in the family or kept my opinions to myself when I didn't want to create tension or let Alice dress me however she wanted to make her happy. But was I happy, maybe I never thought I deserved to be so I never thought to ask myself that question.

I look back to her unsure of what to say.

"I don't know what to say." I tell her honestly. She smiles again, I love when I make her do that.

"That okay. What I am trying to show you Jasper is you can only be responsible for yourself. Who you are, what you feel, what you want. Those come first. I am not saying to be a self-obsessed asshole but the most important source of love in your life... it needs to come from you. The the relationship you have with yourself is a very important one, you need to love and care for yourself. So I have a new assignment for you." Oh boy knew that was coming.

"Anytime you start to talk negatively about yourself I want you to stop and say 5 things you love about yourself. Every single time you think a negative word about yourself do it. The brain is wired to like pleasure and hate work so if you teach it every time you start to beat up on yourself your gonna make it do work, eventually those negative thoughts will become much less frequent. that is your task for the week along with continuing to work on your emotional barometer. See you next week?"

"Yes, wait don't I get to ask you 3 questions now?"

"Yes, your right you do, fire away."

"Do you think I'am handsome?" I swear if she had been drinking something there definitely would have been a spit take. I see her resign her self to answering the question.

"Unfairly so." Yes, she's attracted to me I feel so happy about that.

"Have you been in love since Edward?"

"No."

"Are you still open to love?"

"I really hope so." She looks at me with such longing and I want to take her right on her office floor. I close my eyes trying to clear the image. I look back up at her again.

"More ungentlemanly emotions"

"You have no idea."