Chapter 11

Mark looked at his desk and questioned why he was alive. He could hear the voice of his History of Magic teacher droning on and on about useless wizard rubbish. He looked to the side and saw the Ravenclaws paying the utmost attention. He gave a quiet groan when he realized that the professor had started asking questions.

"Mr. Evans, who partook in the blah blah blabbidy blah blah," is what Mark heard. He continued facing the desk not realizing he had called his name. He felt Lester poke his back. Mark turned his head to the left to see Lester shaking his head forward. Mark turned to face his teacher but his ghostly face was right in front of his. He fell off his chair with a shout. He looked up at their ghost teacher and flashed a goofy smile.

"Four points off Gryffindor," he stated. The Gryffindors groaned.


Later that day, Mark, Lester and Harry walked into Greenhouse 1– the herbology classroom not the super secret room- and found the students talking and marveling at the wondrous plants that filled the room. He saw the Slytherin girl that Lester had forced him to talk to glaring at him with two other Slytherin girls at her sides with just as malicious glares. She walks up to him and he looks into her eyes.

"What?" he asked. Mark's face changed from its usual clueless look to that of a Japanese mobster's. The girl faltered for a second then regained her composure.

"I just wanted to tell you to mind your own business next time, or else," she threatened hoping to use her higher status to scare him.

"Can't believe I'm saying this. Or else what?" Mark asked. The girl was at a loss of words as a feeling of terror came over her. She felt her underwear begin to get wet, as she stood there fearful for her life.

"Moving along now," Lester spoke up noticing the girl's discomfort. He and Harry were able to move Mark out of the way and towards a seat.

"Why'd you move me?" Mark asked adopting his regular dumb face.

"That was Jasmine Belle," Harry explained. "Her family is in close relations with the Malfoys and she's even betrothed to Draco Malfoy's heir Scorpius."

"That means absolutely nothing to me," Mark replied bluntly.

"What did you even do to her?" Lester asked thinking of how scared she looked. Mark smiled and looked proud of himself.

"It's my version of the King Engine. I call it: the Mark Engine," Mark stated. "It's basically just me looking at you in a way that terrifies you. It usually only works on people with low self esteem or a fear of fire."

Lester wanted to ask him what a 'King Engine' was but their teacher had finally entered the class. Immediately they saw his face the class erupted in claps and cheers. Standing before them was a hero of the Second Wizarding War, Neville Longbottom. He looked at them sheepishly then raised his hand to calm them down.

"As you may all know my name is Professor Longbottom," He began. Mark used all his self-control to hold in his laughter but as he'd made painfully clear, he had none.

"HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! YOU SAID 'LONGBOTTOM'! IS THAT WHY THEY WERE CLAPPING FOR YOU? HAHA! 'CAUSE YOUR BUTT'S SO LONG? HAHAHARDYHAHUR!" he screamed erupting in a fit of laughter. He fell off his chair. After a minute or so he calmed himself and sat back on his chair. Professor Longbottom looked taken aback.

"Um…sorry?" Mark said.


After losing a whopping 6 points from Gryffindor ,and finding out that Professor Longbottom is their head of house, they got to learning about the topic for the first few weeks of the term: spiky bushes. They were green plants with yellow spikes protruding out of them that they could fire at animals that wanted to consume them. Their first lesson had just been a basic introduction to the plant but they had learnt something else. The incantation for the fire-making spell, 'Incendio'. Mark had been excited when he had learnt that they would be learning the spell. Professor Longbottom had shown it to them and it looked amazing. A bright flame had shot from the tip of the wand and onto one of the spiky bushes completely incinerating it. Sadly he hadn't taught them the wand movement for 'safety reasons'. Mark scoffed at that as he walked into his next class after DADA, Transfiguration. He had heard from Richard that it was a subject that his family excelled at, along with Charms and Potions. He sat down and for possibly the first time, the teacher was awake and waiting for them. They all took their seats before the plump woman stood up. She wore loose white and pink robes along with a tall witch's hat. She had a short bob of curly blonde hair that reached just above her shoulders. She brought out a long reddish wand and gave it a wave above her desk. There was a swishing sound as the desk turned into a pig then back into a desk immediately. That got their attention.

"What you just saw there was advanced transfiguration," she explained. "It's to complicated for you to do at this level. Good afternoon class, my name is Professor Elma Buckleton and I will guide you through the difficult and tasking subject that is transfiguration."

Mark honestly could not see what was so difficult about turning and desk into a pig but boy was he wrong. There was a formula he had to learn with letters that each meant something different. Halfway through the lesson he gave up and stopped paying attention as a whole. Professor Buckleton was not as boring as his HOM teacher but she did make jokes that weren't funny and just made you feel awkward. Mark definitely felt awkward when she made a joke about penis sizes. Just…no.


Well Neville's there...cool. Anyways, reviews. Oh and anything different from canon, this story is semi AU. KOK.