A/N: Hi guys, I know it's been a long time but I have another chapter for you. School is taking it's toll but I'm sorry it took so long. The chapters might not come as quickly as they have been. This chapter is rated T, think of it like a PG-13 movie. It mentions sex a few times but nothing really dirty. X&Y is a song by Coldplay and I think it fits them perfectly. Anything else...OH! I don't own Criminal Minds but I love the new Reid. I'm writing a couple of chapters and a story about the new season. XOXO Enjoy!

"Trying hard to speak and fighting with my weak hand. Driven to distraction, so part of the plan. When something is broken and you try to fix it. Trying to repair it, any way you can. I dive into the deep end, she become my best friend..."

"Do you have any handcuffs?" That was not what Emily expected Reid to say when she opened the door. She was knee deep in her second tumbler of scotch and she had plans for many more. It had been the worst day she'd had in a very long time and she was going to drink until she didn't hear the conversation between Hotch and Hayley anymore. She didn't think she'd ever forget the sound of the gunshots or of Hayley gasping to keep from showing Foyette fear.

"Hello to you too, Reid." She replied sarcastically as he brushed past her. His gait was still unsteady since he was still using a cane.

"I know this is strange and if I had another option I would use it. I hate to ask this of you but I need your help." She gave him a confused look after closing the door. He looked serious and he wasn't fidgeting. Proof that he'd decided to do this after much thought.

"If this is some kind of sexual thing I feel like I should tell you, I'm not drunk enough yet." He blushed and looked away after his eyes grew to the size of saucers. He tried a couple of times to speak but it didn't come out right away.

"What?" He squeaked before clearing his throat. His face changed and if she didn't know any better she would say she hurt his feelings. "I'll try not to be insulted that you need to be drunk to have intercourse with me. I really do need help. I would go to a meeting but there isn't another one till morning. My sponsor is out of town but he told me to find a friend I trust and stay with them. He also told me to give you these to destroy." He pulled two glass vials out of his pocket and placed them in her palm. She looked down at the bottles and tears sprung to her eyes. It took her a second to realize what he was trusting her with.

"Reid, I don't know what to say." He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked anywhere but at her. He had that kicked puppy look on his face that always got to her. He looked so guilty.

"I know this is a lot to ask. I just need help tonight and I knew that if there was anyone I could trust with this, it's you Emily." Emily felt the blush coming to her cheeks. So she turned away and went to the sink. She tried to unscrew the bottles but when that didn't work she put them in a plastic bag and smashed them.

"Do you have any more on you?" He shook his head no looking even guiltier if that were possible. "Do I need to frisk you?" Emily was almost sure that if Reid's emotions weren't so raw he would've never let her see the blush that colored his cheeks or the grin threatening to spread across his face. But she saw it and she fought not to smile herself. "Naughty boy. I'm serious though." He shook his head and pulled his pockets out for her. She nodded and threw the bag in the trash. "Are you okay?" She asked after a long silence. He shrugged his shoulders saying he wasn't sure.

"Sometimes I'm happy to have an eidetic memory. It helps me connect things that others wouldn't see. But other times, days like today, it feels like a curse. I can't forget minute details about today that will become fuzzy for everyone else. I remember smells, and exact words, the position of Hayley's body, and the way Hotch's body sagged with relief when he found Jack. I remember the look on the EMTs' faces when they came out and the one that got sick after seeing the bloody mess that used to be Foyette. I wanted to forget but I can't go down that road again. I've been clean for three years and I don't want to go back there." He looked up at her and his eyes grew wide. Emily had a second to wonder why before the first tear rolled down her face. She wasn't sure where her mind went or how she missed his trek to her but suddenly his arms were around her.

Reid, who wasn't a huge fan of hugging or touching for that matter, pulled her into his deceptively strong embrace. She had a couple of seconds where she tried to fight the steady wave of emotion threatening to overtake her. But there wrapped tightly in the arms of someone she trusted she couldn't hold back.

All it took was him pressing his face against her hair and the damn broke. She cried for Hotch. She cried for Hailey, for Jack, for herself, and for Reid. She cried for him because of all that he'd had to survive. She cried because she was lonely and she could tell that he was too. When the tears finally subsided they were on the floor. She wasn't even sure how they got there.

She pulled away to apologize to him when she met his eyes. His eyes were red and puffy but she could tell he hadn't let any tears fall. He sniffled and pushed hair away from her face. It was a tender gesture that she wasn't used to. She grabbed his hand holding it to her cheek before turning and kissing his palm. They'd allowed themselves a moment like this after Cyrus and Colorado. They spent hours in each other's arms just trying to shake the cold lonely feeling that awaited them in their beds.

It was strange how they had fallen into the role of whatever the other needed without ever saying a word. She just held on to him to wash away the fear that she was unconscious and would wake only to find him dead. And he held on to her to weaken the guilt for not being able to help her or take the beating for her.

Now it was all about feeling helpless. They didn't know how to help Hotch. They couldn't save Hayley, or Jack's innocence. They didn't stop Foyett in time and now they had to explain a horrible day to a horrible woman. Because she felt helpless and he felt sure and strong it seemed perfectly natural when she pressed her lips to his. The taste of coffee coated her tongue as her hands wound their way into his soft curls.

The clothes almost melted away in a blur of need and solace. His hands drifted over her body and his lips caressed her skin. Before she knew it she was looking down at him, naked in all his glory, amazed by just how beautiful he really was. Her mind had ceased to function in the wake of what his long elegant fingers were capable of. She wasn't even thinking about the bet she won with JJ and Garcia about whether or not Reid was a magician at other things. He was all smooth pale skin and perfect strong lines. The feel of him warm and pliant beneath her sent chills racing through her entire body.

He filled her in ways she couldn't imagine. The sight of bare passion and need in his eyes took her breath away. It was something she never expected to see. Just like she never expected there to be so much strength in his body, she never expected the fine definition of muscled that she took her time mapping out. She never expected to see his eyes pupil-blown and dark, so dark she almost couldn't see color anymore. She never thought him capable of making her scream and moan his name with her eyes screwed shut lost in ecstasy. She never expected it to be so erotic to hear him moan her name like a prayer against her chest, or the steady pounding of his hips, or to see him laid out beneath her on her kitchen floor with his lips parted panting.

Three times, she wasn't sure what to call what they did, but whatever it was they did it three times. Twice on the kitchen floor, the second time because he'd stayed on the floor while she tried to cook. His fingers drifted up her bare thigh before his lips followed then the young doctor did something with his mouth that she was sure she would dream about for years to come. The third time, they did whatever it was they did, was on her living room floor surrounded on all sides by blankets and pillows in front of her fire place.

Afterwards, both staring down into two fingers of scotch, they tried to figure out what it was they'd done. To call it sex seemed just plain disrespectful. It deserved some sort of reverence but saying they made love sounded like too much. There were feelings involved, emotions and passion and desire, there was so much need involved it took three times to finally sate it. The next morning she watched him get dressed with a cup of coffee and a heavy feeling of resignation. Fear of whatever this was compelled her to stay where she was no matter how much she wanted stop. She really wanted to drag him to her room and never let him leave.

"What does this mean? Does it mean something?" he asked her after he plopped down on the sofa next to her. She handed him a cup of coffee made to his specifications. She didn't miss the ghost of a smile that crossed his face after he tasted it.

"I don't know, but thank you." He looked up at her and she noticed the flush in his cheeks.

"No, thank you, I'm not sure I could have gotten through tonight without you. Is that what this is? Just two friends trying to help each other?" She would never understand what made her respond the way she did.

"Yes, that's exactly what it was. I needed you and you needed me, nothing more and nothing less." He nodded silently staring down at his coffee.

"Okay, so now things go back to normal? We act like this didn't happen?" That seemed wrong too.

"It was what it was, and we should respect that. Now, we go back to being friends and teammates." He nodded again and put his cup down on the table.

"Okay, I should go." Emily nodded silently as he stood up. She could feel the urge to beg him to stay bubbling up in her throat. She tried to force it down but before she could it snuck up and out.

"Reid," she cried with a little more force than she really meant to. He stopped and looked at her. "Thanks again, if you ever need someone to hideout with I'm here." He nodded and smiled warmly but the look in his eyes let her know he knew that's not what she wanted to say.

It took her a little over a week to realize how stupid she was being. She didn't want to act like it didn't happen. She'd lay in her bed at night, staring at the ceiling or watching the lights from cars passing dance over it, and think about that night. They weren't the same. She almost went to him after their individual meetings with Strauss. He'd given her a warm smile when he was coming out and she was going in. The smile did things to her now that it didn't do before.

She'd planned to talk to him after the funeral but then they had a case. A brutal one at that. As if they weren't uncomfortable enough in their homes after what Foyett did to Hotch and Hailey, they had an unsub who broke into women's homes and forced them to be with him. It had bothered Emily more than anyone else because she was his type. It was always hard when she was an unsub's type.

It took a little liquid courage and the chill of loneliness for her to finally decide to go see him. She sat in her living room staring at the fireplace for about two hours thinking about what all this meant. She couldn't say she was in love with him but she felt something. Something was better than the nothing she'd been feeling for years. And she only felt whatever it was when she was with him. That had to mean something right? She had her keys in her hand and she was on the way to the door before that thought even occurred to her. She had this cold lump of fear in her stomach that Reid didn't feel the same way. He barely looked at her anymore, maybe he didn't think about her at all.

She had about thirty seconds to ponder that uncomfortable thought before yanking her door open and startling the very man she'd been thinking off. She stopped and stared at him. He looked unsure, he had the hand that wasn't holding his cane shoved in his pocket and he was looking at his shoes. Finally, when he looked up, her mind turned back on. She felt the smile cross her face and exhaled.

"Hey," he said returning her smile.

"I was coming to see you."

"You know what they say about great minds. I came because I don't think I can pretend what happened between us didn't happen." Emily ran her tongue over her bottom lip before biting it.

"Yep, neither can I. You can come in and we can talk about it." A grin spread across his face, one she was sure she'd only seen once before. He'd been sitting on her kitchen floor looking up his shirt which she was naked underneath.

"We both know that talking won't happen anytime soon." She grabbed his tie and pulled him inside.

"Well you have an eidetic memory, I'm sure you'll remember later."

They talked…eventually.

"You and me are floating on a tidal wave, together. You and me are drifting into outer space..."