A/N: I know this one took a while, but the AMAZING trailer came out and I had to get it out of my system before I continued writing. I had so many ideas, but I want to finish this the way I planned it out.
Finn's eyes were wide as they entered Ahch-To's atmosphere. The planet was mostly dark water, islands occasionally dotting the surface. He watched, mouth open in awe as some strange-looking birds flew close to the ocean, beaks dipping in periodically for something to eat when a massive creature broke through the surface and swallowed the birds in one bite. The thing fell back into the ocean, spraying water all over. That was awesome. Finn wished someone else had been here to see that. They could have gasped together and looked at each other in shock.
Of course, Poe was here. But he didn't even bother glancing at Poe. He probably wasn't even paying attention.
Finn knew it wasn't fair to get annoyed with him, but he had no idea what to do with this weird quiet Poe. It was extremely off-putting. And Finn was completely fine with someone having a bad day. Everyone had them, but Poe wasn't even trying to pretend he was okay. Or that he would be okay. He just seemed… Broken.
It was horrible. And Finn had no idea what to do with him.
Rose grinned when Finn and Poe's small shuttle landed and walked over carefully, making her way over some slippery rocks.
Her smile persisted when Finn exited the ship and waved at her. But when Poe came out behind him, head down and hands in his pockets, Rose's mood dampened. Even from afar she could tell something was wrong.
She finally reached Finn and they stood together for a moment, watching Poe as he took in the green and gray island that would be home to the younglings for the time being.
"Did… Did something happen?" Finn looked pained when she asked, rubbing his brow as he often did when he was annoyed or confused.
"I uh. Well, we ran into someone but," he took her hand before he continued, "I'm not sure it's for me to tell." Rose slowly moved her thumb back and forth over Finn's knuckles.
"But you are worried?"
"Yeah. I've never seen him like this. I have no idea how to help, if he even wants help." They continued to watch Poe as he picked up a few stones and began to throw them into the ocean.
"We barely talked this entire time."
Rose nodded, thinking, then took a deep breath and looked up at Finn, determination in her eyes.
"Okay. Well, we'll start off by feeding the younglings. Rey should get here later tonight and maybe by then he'll be ready to talk." He nodded and she pulled him behind her as they neared Poe.
He didn't even look at her when she came to stand by his side.
"Alright Poe," she said, hooking her arm through his, "we've got to go and feed these hungry little monsters." He looked at her, face blank. No spark in his usually bright eyes.
When she raised an eyebrow, he nodded, looking tired as he gave in and began to walk back to the village with them.
Usually, it was Rose who fell behind while walking but this time around she was practically dragging Finn and Poe behind her. Finn was gripping her hand so hard that is almost hurt, while on her other side she was struggling to hold onto Poe's limp arm. But Rose held onto both of them anyway because they were her family and they would get through this. No matter what it would take.
Rose lit another lantern in the small hut, staring at the flame as it flickered back and forth. The younglings were asleep along with Jesse and Chelien. They had decided to wait up for Rey and Chewie, and with the weird mood in the small room, Rose had the strangest urge to light everything on fire. If only to startle Finn and Poe out of this odd funk.
Poe's usual smiles were nowhere to be found, while all of Finn's attempted jokes were falling flat. Finn kept glancing at an oblivious Poe who was hunched over on a cot. His chin rested in his hands, and Rose could have sworn she heard him sigh multiple times.
It was getting uncomfortable. And if she had to take any more of this, she would no doubt say something stupid.
Rose was about to make some excuse to leave them alone, hoping maybe they'd talk about whatever had happened when the hut door flung open.
"Isn't this place great?!" Rey was grinning at them as if she was completely ignorant to the awkwardness in the room. But Rose knew better. Rey always seemed to know exactly what was going on, so she just went with it.
"Yeah! It's really quite pretty. And the Caretakers seem lovely. We will have to set quite a bit of rules though. The younglings will no doubt get up to all sorts of trouble." And fall off a cliff or two. But Rose kept that to herself.
When Rey had suggested Ahch-To as a place to bring the younglings for the time being she had been hesitant. But Rey had seemed confident that it would work out, so Rose agreed. And when they arrived Rose wished she had asked for a better description of the island, because Ahch-To was not a place she would describe as child-friendly. Too many cliffs, caves, and rocks to respectively fall off of, get lost in and get hit by.
Rey probably sensing Rose's hesitance, tried to reassure her.
"It'll be fine Rose! They're cautious, and they'll look out for each other. Anyways, this isn't permanent." Rose nodded, still not entirely convinced. She felt, rather than saw, Finn suddenly straighten up behind her.
"Rey!" he exclaimed as if he just realized she was here. Poe actually looked a tad amused as they all looked at Finn. He, in turn, scoffed at them, "I noticed her when she first came in! I just remembered that she was being mysterious earlier and said we'd see later." Poe tilted his head back, letting out a soft, "Oh."
"See, Poe remembers." Finn crossed his arms watching Rey intently, "So what is it then?"
Rey grinned at their attention and reached into her bag to pull something out. Rose probably wasn't the only one who's eyes widened.
Is that a lightsaber? And then Rey was pressing a button and they listened as the lightsaber hissed open. At both ends.
Rose knew she was gaping but she didn't particularly care because, wow, Rey's lightsaber was completely insane.
Rey couldn't stop grinning at everyone's reactions. She too had looked just as shocked and surprised and amazed when she had first seen her finished lightsaber.
And if someone asked her how she had made it, she probably wouldn't be able to tell them. The whole process had taken hours but had only felt like minutes and she could really only remember the last few. She definitely hadn't been planning on making it double-bladed, and she could have never guessed that the blades themselves would turn out like they did.
Rey had used the remnants of the blue crystals from Luke's lightsaber along with a part of the small white crystal she had found all those years ago on Jakku. The crystal itself had been too big so she had to break it into two parts. The other half was back in her small wooden box.
She had thought that adding the white crystal would make the blade a lighter blue, but she was wrong. Rather the center of the blade contained a thin stream of blue which was encased in white. It was completely magnificent.
Rey had adjusted the blade's length so that the entirety of the weapon was the same height as her staff. She hadn't had time to test it out yet, but as she grinned at Ben she hoped he wouldn't be opposed to some sparring later. Presumably, after she answered some questions.
"We'll talk later?" Instead of answering, she just continued to grin at him, so he shook his head, some unreadable emotion in his eyes and closed the bond.
Rey took a moment to watch her lightsaber glow before she returned her focus to her friends. Finn and Rose had stepped closer but Poe, to her disappointment, was still sitting on that cot. At least he looks a little more alive. Rey held back a sigh. Ben wasn't the only who was going to be asking questions later.
"So, wow. This is brilliant." Finn finally made eye contact, the glow from her lightsaber reflecting off his eyes.
"Any particular reason you decided to get a lightsaber?" He asked. Rey wiggled the hilt a little and they watched as the white and blue seemed to blend together.
"Sort of. I just figured if I was facing tons of people alone, like today, that I should probably have something better than a stick to protect myself."
"Oh, this is definitely better than a stick." Finn grinned at Rose, who then asked, "Could I-could I hold it?" Rey thought she would never ask.
Kylo was struggling to focus for the rest of the meal. Seeing Rey with her lightsaber had awakened something in him. He wasn't quite sure what it was and didn't think now was a good time to try and understand it.
Instead, he tried his hardest to pay attention to the Knights as they spoke and laughed with one another, meaner and more hardened than he remembered. But he supposed he was too.
When Snoke had been around, they were never able to eat together. That would have required them to take their masks off, and that was not something that was done in the presence of others. So they ate alone, taking a tray in their room.
But before, before everything, dinnertime used to be Kylo's favorite time of the day. They would smuggle their food into the library where they weren't allowed to eat but somehow they always got away with it. Then they'd sit in a circle, laughing and talking over their day as they stuffed themselves and tried to steal food from each other's plates.
Kylo pushed the memories out of his mind as he noticed Fantar studying him.
"You seem different Kylo." The rest of the table quieted, watching Kylo stare down Fantar.
"I'm sure becoming Supreme Leader would make anyone seem different Fantar." Before Fantar could respond Kellen broke in, "And how is it that you became Supreme Leader? We've tried but we just can't seem to get a clear answer." It was silent for a moment before Kylo responded.
"It was that scavenger girl. Do you remember her at all?" A few of them nodded. Kylo figured they would. That had probably been the last time they had worked on the same mission.
The Knights had been split up across the universe under Snoke's orders, searching for anything that could lead them to Skywalker. Kylo had contacted them when he had taken Rey, mistakenly believing they could call off the search.
Now that he thought about it, that had actually been the last time they had spoken.
"She knew where Skywalker was and Snoke was trying to get the map from her. She managed to overpower us and kill Snoke before escaping." Most of them looked dubious, but Sydney, of course, was the one who spoke up.
"So what you're saying is that this completely random scavenger girl managed to completely evade our search for force-sensitives and then ended up not only finding Skywalker but defeating you and Snoke?" Kylo stared right at her, his face impassive.
"Yes."
"Hmm." She didn't look convinced. Kylo didn't really blame her but continued eating hoping to put an end to this conversation. It didn't work.
"So what now?" This surprisingly came from Namber but knowing her, she wouldn't let up until she got whatever answer she was looking for. He set his fork down then, annoyed that he wouldn't get to finish his meal while it was warm. Seeing Namber's empty plate only frustrated him further.
With all the questioning he'd barely had time to eat anything at all. Inwardly he sighed, while on the outside he kept his face bored and impassive as he tried to get clarification.
"What are you asking?" She raised an eyebrow, taking her time to respond. It seemed everyone was completely focused on the conversation except for Kellen of course, who was rattling his fingers against the table as if bored. It was grating on Kylo's nerves. Which is probably why he's doing it. Kellen lived to annoy Kylo. He'd probably get along with Hux.
"What are you doing now? Was this girl captured? Taken care of?"
"We've been unsuccessful in capturing her thus far. But I have no doubt Hux will manage to get her. He is quite determined." Kellen finally stopped that incessant tapping and cut in, "It sounds as though you aren't actively participating in this search." When Kylo didn't respond he added, "I would've thought you would be impatient to find and kill her. To avenge your precious master." The Knights stiffened a sentence after Kylo did, no doubt uneasy in Kellen's disrespect of Snoke, but he knew his discomfort was for a different reason than theirs. The audacity of the statement itself made his blood boil.
Fantar's voice was tight as he addressed Kellen.
"You achieve nothing being crass Kellen." Kellen rolled his eyes, arms crossing against his chest.
"Come on Fantar. We all know Kylo was Snoke's willing puppet. He basically worshiped that wrinkly old bastard. And I find it odd that Kylo doesn't seem to be too concerned with finding that scavenger cow-" He didn't get to finish his sentence as he was flung against the wall, hands scrabbling at his throat.
Kylo was seeing red, barely thinking straight as he tried to crush Kellen's windpipes. He was so close, but someone was trying to stop his efforts. He lost his concentration for a moment as he realized that the others were pushing against his power, and for a moment he made eye contact with Sydney who's eyes were pleading with him.
He looked away, tightening his grip for a moment, taking satisfaction in Kellen's darkening face before releasing him.
His body fell to the floor with a thud and Sydney rushed to him as he began coughing. The others watched the spectacle, the air tinged with worry, but Raj turned to him, a strange look on his face, as though he had just made some sort of discovery.
Kylo glared at him, but that did nothing to discourage Raj's intent look.
"You really have changed." It came out soft and contemplative.
"What the hell are you on about Raj?" Kylo barked back. Raj just pursed his lips then turned back to the ridiculous spectacle that was Kellen.
Needing to get out of the room and away from the Knights, he stood up abruptly, his chair tipping backward precariously. He was leaving the room when Raj called out, "We'll help you Kylo. Find the girl." Kylo just gritted his teeth and left the room.
Kylo slashed through another piece of training equipment, the release he needed so badly nowhere to be found. Instead, his rage only burned faster, harder. He needed something else. He needed more.
"Ben." He went rigid at Rey's voice. Not now. She couldn't see him like this.
He refused to turn, instead sheathing his saber.
"I can't do this right now." She said nothing, although he could sense her gaze on his back. It was scorching, but if he turned he didn't know what he would do. He sensed her stepping forward, his grip on his lightsaber tightening in response.
"Rey, I need you to go." The panic and rage swirled in his stomach, threatening to burn him down. He tried to concentrate, focusing on a drop of sweat that slid off his face and hit the floor.
"No." The fire in his belly seemed to rise in response. He finally turned around and saw Rey standing a few steps in front of him, determination clear in her face.
"Don't make me block you out." The moment he said it, he regretted it. Kylo didn't want his relationship with Rey to be tainted by threats but he couldn't take it back. She was searching his face as if trying to gauge his sincerity.
"I don't think you would do that." His head reared back at her words, and Kylo panicked, wondering if his attachment was so obvious. Her words were dredging up old memories and insecurities, things his rage usually kept down.
"Why?" He was shouting now but she didn't even flinch. "You think I'm weak? You think that I need you?" Her fingers twitched by her side and she stepped a little closer. He couldn't think clearly through his anger, but she kept getting closer and he couldn't help it. His lightsaber sizzled open as he swung at her but Rey was ready, her new lightsaber opening in time to meet his blade.
He grunted then swung at her again and again, nothing elegant in his incessant hacking. And she kept meeting his attacks, her white and blue blades alternating through the air.
Kylo's mind was slowly clearing and he realized that Rey wasn't fighting back, just protecting herself and it forced him to freeze for a moment, their blades giving off a purple light where they met.
Rey must have known he was going to stop, must have finally seen something in his eyes that told her he was listening.
"I don't think you're weak." Her eyes shone, and he couldn't find any doubt or hesitance in them. The fire spurted out for a moment and he felt wild as he staggered back a few steps, his blade going to his side. She kept her eyes on him, unwavering in her strength.
"But I do think you need me, Ben." The fire started up again, burning his stomach to ashes. He could only watch as she advanced, blade slashing towards him.
He brought his lightsaber up to block her, expecting her to stop when he didn't advance, but this time she kept going, thrusting and swinging. And this time it was Kylo who wasn't fighting back.
Rey kept coming at him, not stopping until she had him with his back to a wall, the purple light reflected in her glowing eyes.
"I think Ben, that you need me. Just as much as I need you." His rage was dead then. Every thought and emotion left him as he watched her.
She sheathed her lightsaber and got even closer, eyes resolute. His breathing was ragged, sweat all over and if he'd been paying attention he would have noticed that he was trembling. But Rey didn't seem to care about any of this as she carefully reached up and cradled his chin with her free hand.
"We're a team remember? I calm you, you comfort me. And that means Ben, that when you're like this, I'm not going to leave you. Okay?" He couldn't do anything other than protest.
"But Rey, I don't want to-I can't hurt you." As he said it his lightsaber closed, and Rey smiled a little.
"You won't hurt me." And she sounded so sure about it. He could feel her confidence, her trust in him. It made his chest hurt, made him feel like he couldn't breathe even if he tried.
It reminded him of that feeling from earlier, the sense of awakening he had felt when she was showing off her lightsaber. It felt like that feeling was controlling him, urging him as he reached up, carefully putting his hand over Rey's and brought his head closer to hers.
Rey could feel Ben's breath on her face and her eyelids flickered, threatening to shut as her gaze went to his lips.
"Rey." It was barely a whisper and it made her shudder.
"I-I want to… Could I ki-" He sounded so nervous and unsure, and completely endearing. It gave her the confidence she needed to move forward and press her lips to his.
She must have dropped her lightsaber because her other hand was making its way into Ben's hair, threading through it and trying to bring him closer. Ben seemed to have the same idea as he hooked his arm around her waist, roughly bringing their bodies together.
Rey's face flushed red with pleasure, her skin tingling where they touched. He tasted like sweat and she felt a gasp forming in her throat when his tongue swiped across her bottom lip.
All of a sudden and all too soon, he pulled back and she felt dizzy with the loss of contact, her hand reaching out blindly for his.
Her mind felt a little clearer when his hand found hers and she could feel his worry through the bond.
"What is it?" She looked up at him but his eyes were focused on something behind her and she felt a sense of dread as she turned and saw Finn standing behind her, looking like he couldn't decide whether he wanted to scream or cry.
"Do you want me to go?" Rey's hand tightened around his as he asked, and she turned back towards him, gently letting go of his hand.
"I don't want you to, but I think it would be best." He nodded, his dark eyes burning into her and she wanted nothing more than to kiss him again, to have his arms around her, but it would have to wait.
Instead, she got up on her toes to kiss his cheek, lingering for a moment to watch his eyes flutter closed.
"This isn't over." Ben's eyes opened slowly and his gaze slid to her lips as he roughly replied, "It most certainly isn't." His words caressed her through the bond and Rey's toes curled in response. She had to force herself to turn and face Finn, still flushed, and felt achy when their bond closed.
With Ben gone it was a lot darker and Rey had to take a moment and let her eyes adjust to the light to find Finn who was standing in the same spot, looking to be frozen in shock.
Rey had been looking for a good spot to meet with Ben when she had found this cave off the side of the village. It had been large enough that she didn't have to worry about destroying anything other than rocks, and it was out of the rain so she had entered the cave, leaving her lantern at the entrance in case someone needed to find her. Finn was holding the lantern now but wasn't being very careful with it and she was worried it would go out. Of course, she had her lightsaber which was somewhere...
Ah. Rey took a deep breath as she located and picked up her lightsaber and started walking towards Finn, rubbing the back of her neck as she approached.
Finn was muttering to himself as she came to stand in front of him, and Rey decided to let him speak first. She didn't know where this conversation would be going and would rather know what Finn was thinking first.
He finally looked at her, something like disgust in his eyes. It hurt. But Rey supposed it had only been a matter of time before she did something that disappointed him. As far as disappointments go, kissing the enemy had to be pretty high up there. Rey figured that after this she probably couldn't sink any lower in Finn's eyes. And maybe that was a good thing.
"I don't even know what to say, Rey." He kept shaking his head, muttering things that she couldn't hear.
"I thought you were okay with it." Not that I need your approval, she added to herself.
"I thought I was sort of okay with it. But I just figured you guys were stuck with each other with your whole bond and everything. I told myself that you guys had to care about each other a little. How could you not with a connection like that? And maybe at that moment, it was fine because you told us that he killed Snoke and then DJ was there confusing everyone. But Rey, he's the enemy. He is literally our enemy. And I didn't realize it was romantic!" His voice had slowly been rising throughout his entire outburst and at the end he was basically yelling, the sound echoing throughout the cave.
"And what's with all the kissing today anyways?! First Poe, now you! Who's going to be kissing next? Chewie and some porgs?" Rey knew it was completely off topic but, "Poe was kissing someone?!" Finn looked tried as he covered his eyes with a hand and sighed.
"No, they weren't kissing exactly. But it looked like they wanted to and..." He sounded as if he was going to go on, but then he must have remembered why they were having this discussion in the first place.
"But that's not the point! Honestly Rey! What are you thinking?"
"Finn-" But he cut her off with a wave of his hand.
"Nevermind. I don't even want to hear it. This day has just been the absolute worst. I'm going to go to bed now." He turned and took Rey's lamp with him, yelling at anyone who was listening, "And I better not find Rose kissing Chelien or I swear I will push myself off a cliff!" Rey refrained from saying something about that not being possible and instead opened her lightsaber to light the way back to the huts.
Rey entered her hut and found Rose waiting for her.
"You probably heard him yelling huh?" Rose smirked as she replied, "I did. I suppose I'll be the one pushing him off a cliff now that he knows about Chelien and me." Rey let out a bark of laughter as she flung herself onto her cot.
"So it's true then?" Rey looked over to see Rose smiling gently, "I mean it's pretty obvious. You were smiling like a weirdo when you came in."
Rey hadn't even realized that she had been smiling and covered her mouth, trying not to. It was impossible. Especially with the memory playing over and over in her mind.
Rose grinned at the blush that was spreading across Rey's cheek's then nodded as if satisfied and proceeded to get comfortable in her cot, pulling her blanket up under her chin.
"Well, I'm happy for you Rey. And I know you're worried about Finn, but he'll come around eventually."
"How can you be sure?"
"I just am." They were both quiet for a moment before Rose began to wiggle her eyebrows at Rey.
"So how was it?" Rey's smile returned full force.
Rey was still smiling when she fell asleep.
FN-8876 was reporting to room J09 to get her monthly haircut.
She hated getting haircuts. It was the only time she ever saw herself in the mirror and something about her appearance always seemed off. It never failed to make her uncomfortable, but she never said anything. Why would she when no one else seemed to feel the same way she did?
The room was usually full of troops waiting in uniform lines for their turn. Today, however, when she entered the room it was completely empty aside from her squadron leader who stood in front of a chair waiting for her.
"FN-8876. I was told you would be late."
"I'm no-" She cut herself off as her watch beeped telling her that she was indeed late. Which made no sense, but there was nothing to be done. She pushed it from her mind and took off her helmet.
"I'm sorry to have held you up, sir." She revised, stiffly making her way to the chair.
"No matter. Have you been reassigned?" She took her glove off and pushed her finger into the pad beside the chair as he asked. His question tugged at something in her mind but she ignored it as she questioned, "Not that I've heard. Why?" He looked up from the data pad and flicked up an eyebrow.
"I thought that was why you were late. I knew it wasn't a meeting about a mission or else I would have been there, so I figured…" Her confusion must have been obvious as he trailed off. He had a peculiar look in his eyes as he asked, "What is it?"
"I wasn't in a meeting sir. I just came from-" Once again she cut herself off as she struggled to remember the last place she had been. This happened every once in a while, odd gaps in her memory that she couldn't explain. But usually, she was the only one who had to deal with it. She's never had to explain it to anyone.
"I mean, I was in training with everyone else." Right?
"Training was over four hours ago. And I was told you were going to be late due to a meeting."
FN-8876 shook her head, trying to get rid of the odd panic that came when she couldn't remember something.
"Check in with me after dinner tonight and I'll bring you to the med bay. Maybe you're sick."
She nodded and with the conversation over she finally sat in the chair and faced the mirror.
Small bits of her black hair began to fall to the ground but she was looking at her knee instead of the mirror. It was easier that way. Easier to ignore the whispers in her mind telling her that something was wrong. To ignore the thought pounding through her head, this isn't me.
At dinner that night she found herself looking at her comrades around her, found herself wondering if they had the same memory gaps that she did. The same voice telling her something was wrong.
But everyone looked the same as they always did. No one spoke as they finished their meals, keeping their eyes on their trays. It didn't seem like anything was wrong.
And yet she couldn't stop watching and looking and searching. Even as she made her way to the med bay she watched the people she passed in the halls, wondering if maybe there really was something wrong with her.
The panic was encasing her in a fog and she couldn't get out of it. When FN-8876 entered the med bay she was barely paying attention as her squadron leader spoke to the resident medic. She didn't notice when the droids were shut down and the medic instead manually administered a shot and handed her some pills to take.
It wasn't until she was about to exit that she looked back and felt it. A break in the fog and a spark of recognition. Something in her mind clicked and somehow she knew the medic's name. The medic who wasn't a medic. Tayo.
It was gone a second later and she left the medic bay, the memory already too far away to grasp.
Rey woke up gasping.
Because this changed everything.
She stumbled out of her hut into the early morning and knew she had to find Poe. She needed answers about the name that wouldn't stop flashing in her mind.
The name that was a steady beat as she located Poe sitting on a cliff overhanging the raging ocean.
Her mind was struggling to make sense of anything as she flung herself down next to a surprised looking Poe.
"I need you to tell me about Tayo."
