Chapter 11 - Family and Reality
Pam agreed to come over and talk to me after work, and said that we could get together a few times a week if I wanted. I thought it would be a good idea, so I agreed. Eric and I watched a movie, and had supper before Pam arrived. Then he went off to his office so we could talk.
"So what's up?" she asked like we were going to have a conversation about shopping. Her approach actually relaxed me.
"You're the only person that knows what I've been through, even if to a lesser degree. Eric gets it, but there's some stuff I don't want him to know about."
"Sexual stuff?"
"Mostly," I admitted.
In an unprecedented move, Pam reached out and took my hand. "I want you to feel free to talk to me about anything. I won't say a word to Eric."
"Thank you."
She nodded. "Now what do you want to start with? We can do this anytime, and for as long as you want, so take it slow if you need to."
I did start slow that night, and we talked for almost two hours about the beginning of my relationship with Bill. Pam helped me see a lot of things in a different light, and it was extremely helpful. After she left, I sought out Eric in his office only to find him asleep on his desk. I walked over to him and brushed my fingers through his hair gently as I said his name.
"Hi," he said groggily when his eyes opened and he saw that it was me. "How long have I been sleeping?"
"Not sure, but Pam just left and we were out there for about two hours. Go crawl in bed and get some rest."
"Are you okay?" he asked as he sat back in his chair.
"I'm better," I said. "I think I'll just take a shower and crawl in bed too."
He nodded. "Okay. There's still bathroom stuff in the guest bathroom from before, and I'm pretty sure there's clean towels in there too."
"Thanks."
Eric stood up, and gave me a long, lingering hug. He placed a kiss on my temple, and said, "Night, Sookie. I'll see you in the morning."
"Night," I replied.
As I showered I thought about Eric, but not in a sexual way. I got the feeling that he was getting the short end of the stick with all of my crap. He said he was willing to wait, and I believed him, but that didn't make it fair. My only solution was to try to get better as quickly as possible. I wouldn't let what Bill did affect my relationship with Eric any more than it absolutely had to. I was capable of being strong, like my grandmother. She'd been through a lot of tough things in her life, and if she could still be happy, then I would be too.
After I pulled on my pajama pants and old t-shirt I crawled into bed, only to toss and turn without nearing sleep at all. I thought I'd be able to relax since I knew Bill wouldn't have the balls to come here, even if he knew where it was, but I couldn't let myself go. The last time I'd felt comfortable enough to sleep I'd been with Eric, so I threw the covers back and went to Eric's room.
"Eric?" I asked quietly as I cracked open his door.
"Everything okay?"
I walked into the room and found him sitting up in bed, having just turned his lamp on. He wasn't wearing a shirt, and he looked concerned.
"I'm fine, I just can't sleep. I know I'm gonna sound like a child, but can I sleep in here with you?"
Eric smiled and held the covers up. "Climb in," he said.
He turned off the lamp while I slid between the sheets, but then I was hit with a wave of anxiety. It was an odd situation we were in. Loving each other, yet unable to do anything about it. Well, that wasn't entirely true. We were able, and willing, but the emotional timing was off for me. I didn't want to be a tease and press myself against him, so I laid there, still as I could be, waiting for him to go to sleep so I could snuggle with him.
I heard him move onto his side, and then I felt his hand in mine. All the tension rolled out of my body from his simple, gentle touch, and I turned my head to look at him. My eyes hadn't fully adjusted to the dark, but I could see his face. He had a small smile on his lips as he stared at me.
"Snuggle up to me if you want, I don't mind," he said, as though he knew what I was thinking. I laughed and rolled into his warm embrace, letting out a sigh when I was able to lay my head on his chest and hear his heartbeat.
For the next three nights I slept in Eric's bed, wrapped up in him, and got the most rest I'd had in a long time. My phone rang on that last night, waking both of us up. It was the Sheriff in Bon Temps calling to let us know that they'd finally gotten a hold of Bill and had him in custody.
The news was very welcome to me because as much as I enjoyed staying with Eric, I was anxious to get my life back to normal. With Bill in custody, I felt safer being home alone. Eric and I had talked to a lawyer and found out that at most Bill would probably get six months in jail, and have to do some community service, but since this was a first offense for him, it was possible he wouldn't do time at all. All I wanted was for him to stay away from me, and that would be kind of hard with him living across the graveyard.
Eric was very concerned about that, but I just told him that he hadn't really met my brother yet. The only time he'd seen Jason was when he came to the bar and hit me, so Eric wasn't really fond of him, but I asked him if he'd be willing to have dinner with Jason and me. I knew my brother, and once he really saw what Bill had done, he and his road crew buddies would be paying Bill a visit. Jason already knew what had happened because gossip flies fast in our little town, but when he called me I found that all he really knew was that I had requested a restraining order against Bill. I promised to tell him what happened, but I wanted to say it face to face, so Eric was going to take me home where I would cook dinner for him and Jason.
Pam gladly took care of the bar that night, and I took everything I had at Eric's house with me when we left. We went to the store first to get things for dinner, and since there was a special on chicken I decided to make Jason's favorite.
"You look really happy," Eric observed as I excitedly grabbed the things I'd need.
"I am. I really miss my brother and how we used to be with each other before Bill. We haven't had a meal together since before Gran died, and I'm going to make him his favorite. It might serve to calm him down when I tell him what happened."
"What are you making?"
"Fried chicken, homemade mashed potatoes with homemade country gravy, and green beans cooked with bacon," I said, and laughed at the look on his face. He seemed like he wanted to drool, but also pictured his arteries clogging at the same time. "I know it's not the healthiest thing ever, but it was one of Gran's Sunday dinners, and I know Jason will appreciate it."
"It'll be delicious, and I'm happy to see you excited about reconciling with your brother."
As soon as we got to my house I started making a homemade pecan pie while Eric checked all the windows and doors to make sure Bill hadn't tried to get in while I was gone. He gave the all clear when he was done, and asked what he could help with.
"Could you peel the potatoes and cut them for me?"
"Of course," he smiled.
I loved cooking with him. It felt natural and right, and we moved around each other in the kitchen like we had been doing it for years.
"Do you ever listen to music while you cook?" Eric asked as he put the pot of potatoes on the stove and turned on the heat.
"You know, I don't think I've ever done that. Gran usually cooked while she was gossiping on the phone, so it was never even an idea to."
"Do you have a radio?"
"Actually, would you mind if we put on a record? I haven't listened to any since Gran died."
"Sure," he said, and I led him around the corner to the old record player Gran had owned since she was young.
"All the records are in this cabinet," I said gesturing to the doors below. "You pick something."
"Are you in the mood for anything specific?"
"Nope, Anything you pick will be fine. I love all of Gran's records."
While Eric browsed through the selection I went back to the kitchen to put the pie in the oven. A few minutes later I heard the faint sound of old music, and then the volume turned up and my eyes welled up with tears. Eric had chosen Billie Holliday's "I'll Be Seeing You". Gran used to play it when she was missing my grandfather. When I was little, she explained to me that it meant she still saw him in everything, and she felt her love for him when that happened.
"Dance with me," Eric whispered in my ear, causing me to jump a little. "Sorry," he chuckled as he took my hand and spun me around. His left hand held my right, and his other hand rested on my lower back. I laid my head on his chest as we moved together. I imagined that if someone could have taken a photo of us at that moment it would have been the most beautiful thing I would ever see. The setting sun cast an orange glowing light in the kitchen, and I'd never felt more at home.
Eric brought our clasped hands to his chest as he began to hum along with the song, and a new meaning started to take the place of Gran's. This was Eric telling me that he was more than okay with waiting for me. He would see me in the little things, and know our love was worth it. Everything in that moment felt so right that I forgot everything else, I forgot all the reasons we were taking it slow, and I tilted my face up so that he would kiss me and make the moment complete.
He stopped swaying, and let go of my hand so he could cradle my cheek gently. His lips pressed lightly against mine at first, sweetly, as though he wasn't sure he should be kissing me. I brought my hands up to wrap around his neck so he'd understand that I was okay with it, and he put his hands on my waist. There wasn't really anything sexual about the kiss, and it didn't mean anything regarding our relationship status. It was just two people simply saying 'I love you' with a kiss. We continued to kiss through the end of the song, but it was my brother clearing his throat that made us finally break apart.
"Jason!" I pulled myself from Eric's arms and went to hug my brother. At the same time, Eric went to the living room to stop the record player. After I'd hugged Jason good and long I gave him a kiss on the cheek and took a step back.
"It's so good to see you again," I smiled. He didn't though. His eyes were on my bruise, which was still quite noticeable.
"Is this what he did?" Jason asked through clenched teeth.
"He did a lot more than that," Eric piped up from somewhere behind me.
"Oh yeah? And who are you?"
"Jason, please calm down. I'll tell you what happened with Bill after dinner," I said, and then I walked over to stand next to Eric. "This is Eric. He's my boss, and a very good friend."
"Friends don't kiss like that," Jason said accusingly, and for once I wished he were his normal non-observant self.
"We're friends who happen to care very deeply for each other, and that's all you need to know right now," I said, using Gran's firm tone.
"Fine," he mumbled, then came closer and stuck his hand out for Eric to shake. "Nice to meet you."
Eric took Jason's hand and gripped it firmly, even I could tell.
"We've met actually," he said. I glanced elsewhere. I should have known Eric would have mentioned that.
"Oh?" Jason asked.
"The night you came to the bar and slapped your sister when you told her your grandmother passed away."
"Oh," Jason said and hung his head for a second before looking right at me. He took my hands in his and said, "Sook, I know I never apologized for that, but I'm truly sorry. I have no excuses for hitting you and…"
"You were upset about Gran, and…"
"No," he said firmly. "There is no reason for a man to hit a woman. Ever. Even less reason for a man to hit his own sister. What I did was wrong, and I've felt guilty about it since it happened. I don't expect you to ever forgive me for it."
"Oh Jason," I cried and threw myself into his arms. "Of course I forgive you. I love you."
"I love you too, sis," he said into my hair. "I don't wanna go this long without bein' close again, okay?"
"Okay," I nodded, wiping my tears away with my hand.
"Now what are you fixin' me? I smell pie," he grinned, and just like that my simple brother was back.
Eric finished helping me cook supper while Jason yapped away at us, asking Eric questions about his job and what he wanted in life. He was doing the Gran interrogation, which was amusing because it didn't quite come off the same way. I did pay attention to Eric's answer to the life question though.
"All I want in my life is love," Eric said. "I didn't have the greatest childhood, so I never really experienced love until I met my best friend Pam."
Jason interrupted, "Since you're kissin' my sister, I'm guessin' you're not kissin' this Pam chick. Is she hot?"
"You don't have the right equipment, Jase," I told him. "Eric, please continue."
Eric smiled, and finished answering. "In five years I see myself married, hopefully thinking about children, and just enjoying a life full of love."
"Love," Jason grumbled. "I don't know why everyone's so obsessed with it. Dawn won't quit buggin' me about sayin' it to her."
"Maybe you should," I said, quite glad my brother had transitioned into something else. I didn't want to dwell on the images of Eric and I in the life he hoped for.
"But if I say it then she'll be buggin' me about a ring, and I'm not ready for that."
"If you really love her, you should tell her. You can also tell her that you're not ready for marriage. Women appreciate honesty, even if they don't show it at first," I told him as I began setting the food on the table.
"Whatever you say, Sook," Jason said. He was done talking about it because now food was the only thing on his brain. "This looks delicious."
"I'm guessing this is the first real meal you've seen in a while," I laughed.
"Does the chicken fried steak at Merlotte's count?" he asked.
"It comes frozen, so no."
"Then yeah, this is the first real meal I've seen since Gran last cooked for me," he said, and his head hung slightly when he mentioned Gran. I reached across the table and took his hand.
"Gran taught me how to make this, but I can't guarantee it'll taste the same. Let's say a prayer, okay?"
Jason nodded, and I took Eric's hand in my free one as we all bowed our heads in silent prayer. While I'm sure Jason was praying for Eric and I to not take seconds and for Dawn to stop being clingy, I was praying that I would heal quickly so I could figure out if I wanted the same things Eric did. As for what Eric was praying for, I didn't even want to speculate.
The meal was absolutely delicious. It didn't taste the same as when Gran made it, but I had a feeling nothing ever would. Jason had seconds and thirds, and there was still some left over that I put in containers for him to take home. I put all the dirty dishes in the sink to wash later, and we all went to the living room so I could talk to Jason. Eric had asked me while Jason was in the bathroom if I wanted him to stay for it, and I promised him I did.
"So tell me what happened, and how hard I have to kick Bill's ass," Jason said. He was sitting in the easy chair and Eric and I were sitting on the couch.
"I don't want you to fight him. You can threaten him all you want, but if you fight him it's likely that he'll press charges."
"You just tell me what he did first."
"Fine, but remember, if you freak out, you don't get any pie."
He narrowed his eyes at me. "Fine."
"Okay. What happened with Bill started a long time ago, practically since we started dating."
"He's been hittin' you that long?"
"No. I swear he hasn't. Look, the thing is, I've only just realized recently what happened with Bill. Do you know how emotional abuse works?"
"You mean when a guy talks down to you and calls you names?"
"It can be like that, yes. Bill was much more subtle about it. He was sweet and kind in the beginning, but then he started to separate me from my friends. Did you notice how I stopped going out with Tara and Sam so much? And how you and I started fighting more?"
"Yeah," Jason said, his brows knitted together.
"That was because of Bill. He started to become possessive. He came to work almost every night I worked, he wanted me to be around him if I wasn't working, he kind of made me think I wanted a lot of things I didn't." I was glad Jason didn't pick up on the meaning behind that one. "Almost three months ago, just before the car accident, I found out that Bill cheated on me with his ex, Lorena. I thought it was only once, so I stayed with him, but after the accident I found out it had been going on for a while and was still going on. We broke up for a while, but got back together after a few weeks."
I was getting nervous as I went on, and Eric noticed so he reached into my lap and took one of my hands in his.
"Everything was fine for a while, and then he started behaving the way he used to. Then I was attacked out in the alley at work the night you called me about that car, do you remember?"
Jason had been trying every once in a while to make nice with me, and the car had been a very sweet gesture that I wasn't exactly sure had panned out. I never called him back to set up a time to have lunch.
"You were attacked? Why didn't you tell me? Is that why you never called me back?"
"I was dealing with a lot of heavy stuff after it happened and I didn't know how to tell you, so I just didn't. I'm sorry for that, I really am."
"What happened?"
"A man came down the alley and tried to rape me, but Eric came out before that could happen," I said. I felt like I wanted to cry. When I really told someone about the things that had happened recently I really realized just how much I'd been through. Maybe I did need more time to heal than I thought.
"Jesus, Sook," Jason said, and leaned forward to take my other hand. "Are you okay?"
"Not really," I said, my voice noticeably shaky. "But I'll get better."
Jason nodded, gave my hand a squeeze, and then sat back again so I could continue.
"A couple nights later a few friends of the man that attacked me showed up at the bar with a baseball bat and beat Eric up for what he did to the other man. I found out about it when I went back to work so I went to Eric to see how he was doing."
Now came a part I wasn't sure how to say. Jason didn't want to know anything about my sex life, and I didn't particularly want to tell him, but what I did was pretty crucial to the story.
"Without going into detail for all of our benefits, I realized that night that I'm in love with Eric, and I cheated on Bill."
"Wow, Sook. I didn't know you had it in ya," Jason joked, and I frowned. "I don't mean it in a bad way. It's not like you're the kind of girl that gets around. I mean… should I shut up now?"
I nodded. "I didn't tell Bill until five nights ago, and as you can see, he didn't take it well. He said a lot of hurtful things, he hit and slapped me, and squeezed my arm hard enough to leave bruises, but those are almost completely gone now. I managed to leave his house and drive to Pam's in Shreveport where she was having a party. Before I could find Eric, Lorena and Bill showed up, and Bill tried to force me out of the house. He and Eric got into a fight, and I ran off before it was over. Eric followed me here and went with me to file a report. The next morning Bill showed up and asked me to drop the charges. We got into a fight, and thanks to your punching lessons I had the upper hand the whole time. I got him really good, Jase. You'd have been proud if you saw me."
"I don't need to see him, I am proud," he said with a big grin.
"The cops called last night to say the have him in custody. Eric and I talked to a lawyer, and it seems that Bill won't likely spend a lot of time in jail, even if he's sentenced to jail time. This is his first offense, so he'll probably just get community service, and have to stay away from me."
"Well you know damn well that as soon as he gets out me and the boys will be payin' him a visit. Don't you worry about him buggin' you ever again, sis."
"Just promise that you won't do anything that'll get you into trouble, okay?"
"I won't. Besides, there ain't no way anyone's takin' Bill's side in the matter," he said in a quiet voice. "Now how about that pie?"
Eric excused himself to cut the pie so Jason and I could have a moment alone. I gave him a long hug and thanked him for listening to me.
"You mean the world to me, Jason. You're the last real family I have, and I don't want to lose you again."
"You won't. We're a family again, and I like this Eric guy. He seems really protective of you. He ever hits you and I'll kill him though."
I smiled. "I think he'd say the same about you."
"That's not funny," he frowned.
"Oh come on. I'm just proving your point. Eric and I love each other, but we're taking it really slow. We're not even officially boyfriend-girlfriend. He's willing to wait until I'm ready."
"Are you happy, sis?"
"I'm getting there, but if you mean with Eric, then yes, I am very happy with him."
"Okay," he said simply. Maybe my big brother was growing up. He put his arm around me and we started to head to the kitchen. "You know, I did go ahead and buy that car. It's yours anytime you want it. You can sell your old one to the mechanic that owns that junkyard. He'll buy it for parts."
"Will you let me pay for it?"
"You can buy it for a dollar," he grinned.
"Jason, it's an '04 Cavalier, I know it didn't cost you a dollar," I said as we sat down at the table with Eric, who was plating the pie.
"Nope, but I did get it for a steal. You need a newer car, and you don't need more bills, so it's a dollar or no car."
"Fine. When are you free to do all the paperwork?"
"Anytime."
"How about tomorrow morning?"
"Sounds good," he said, and picked up his fork. "This pie looks delicious."
We all had a piece of pie, and then Jason left with all the leftovers I packed up for him. Eric walked outside with him when he left, I assume so they could have a chat, but he was smiling when he came back in and wrapped his arms around me from behind as I washed the dishes.
"I love being able to do this," he whispered against my ear.
"I do too," I said. "Now help me rinse these."
"Yes, ma'am," he laughed.
After all the dishes were clean, Eric and I snuggled up on the couch together and watched a couple of sitcoms. I loved figuring out all the things he would laugh at. It reminded me of the time he sat with me in the hospital and watched Tom & Jerry cartoons. He had a very laid back sense of humor that I loved. When I began to nod off on his shoulder he spoke.
"Angel, do you want to go to bed?"
I smiled. Angel. That was new, and I liked it. "I probably should if I'm going to get up and do that car stuff in the morning."
"Do you want me to go?" he asked, his fingers brushing through my hair.
"Could you stay? Just for tonight?"
"Of course," he smiled, and fifteen minutes later we were spooning in my bed.
"Eric?"
"Hmm?"
"Where did 'angel' come from?" I asked.
"What are you talking about?"
"Out on the couch? You called me angel."
"Did I? Is that okay? I guess pet names can be pretty annoying," he chuckled nervously.
"I like it," I said as I turned in his arms so I could look at him. "I really do. I've never been someone's angel before."
"Well you're my angel. And at the risk of being more cheesy than I ever thought myself capable of, I'll elaborate," he smiled. "You're the brightest light in my life, I feel peace when I'm with you, no matter how chaotic things are. And let's face it, you're as beautiful as I'd expect any angel to be."
"You were right, that was really cheesy," I giggled, and then I kissed him. "But it was also very romantic."
"I'm glad you think so."
"Goodnight, Eric," I said, snuggling my face into his chest.
"Goodnight my angel," he whispered.
A/N:
I apologize for the rehash when Sookie told Jason everything, but she told me she needed to hear it out loud to realize some things, so that's what I did. I'm not sure if I've confessed to this yet, but this story is no longer following the video on which it's based. It stopped after Eric followed Sookie home after the party when he and Bill fought. A very good friend made me think some things through, and I realized that the characters had developed beyond where they would need to be for the events in the video to transpire believably. This is a good thing though, because had I stuck to the video there would have been more angst and not as happy of an ending.
The next chapter is almost entirely written, and it will probably be the second to last chapter, possibly the last if I make it really long.
Thank you to beatlechicksteph for beta'ing this for me so I could post tonight! You're awesome sweetie!
