Hitori watched her siblings fight, Chen's blades weaving in flashing patterns as San dodged and struck relentlessly in return. She smiled as only a wolf could, watching them proudly. It didn't matter they were both human, now she had a brother and a sister! She kept her excitement down, however, as her wolf-cousins emerged from the trees to stand behind her. She turned reluctantly and faced them. They were still massive in her eyes, half of her body would easily fit in either of their mouths, but she did not fear them.
Tsume was serious, as he always was, but Kiba was surprisingly subdued as well, his gray eyes meeting her own blue. "Are you ready to be Given voice, little one?" Kiba said, tone solemn and slightly stiff. This was obviously their first time, Hitori thought, but she gave them credit anyway. She probably would have burst out laughing first thing she left the shadow of the trees. But she behaved, and replied in the only way she remembered. Remembering was hard sometimes.
I am ready, strong ones.
They nodded, turned, and loped easily through the trees. She ran after them indignantly, short legs scampering to make up for their leaping bounds, but she would not ask them to slow down. That was not the way of wolves. She had to keep up, or be left behind.
But they knew her, and kept a pace she could follow, for which she was grateful. They soon left the light of the dawn behind, journeying farther into the heart of the forest on this side of the mountains. Soon they began to pass kodama, the small white tree spirits watching them pass with hardly a rattle of their skull-like heads. If she had time, Hitori would have chased them. They were good at chasing.
Just when Hitori started having second thoughts about asking to slow down, they arrived at a spring of water, a small waterfall feeding it from higher up the cliffs. The twin white wolves rounded the edge of the small lake, forcing her to follow. She was panting with exertion and moved to drink from the clear water.
"Not yet, small one." Kiba stated, no room for argument in his voice, and she sighed but obeyed, resting on her hind legs in the image of patience. Tsume padded his way over to her, hard eyes inspecting every inch of her. This was the first time she had been alone with her cousins for more than a few minutes, and she could sense their careful curiosity.
"Where are you from?"
My family lived in the mountains to the North. I was born in the foothills. Well, before we were pushed to the upper slopes, obviously.
"What happened? How are you here?" Kiba asked, joining his brother.
She shook involuntarily, shudders wracking her small dark body. Fire. Many humans with stick-fangs. Hitori avoided their eyes. I cannot remember much. I was very small then.
Kiba lay down next to her, so that they were eye-level. "Try, small one. You are the only other of our kind we have ever met, and we are over 200 years old."
Tsume rounded her. "We must know."
She nodded, blue eyes darting as she tried to form nightmares into words. Humans. They came, hunting us. Not the ones we knew lived in the mountains, they respected us and stayed away. These were strong. They killed my brother, and took my father. He was taken… Memories threatened to break up her words. Kiba gently nudged the side of her head, a kind gesture. She took a deep breath. He was taken trying to save me. He was wounded by the guns, and… and… The pain in her heart began to shift. To something different. Something hard. Her blue eyes narrowed.
He is a demon now. The words came softly, and stronger than she expected. What was this feeling in her? She shoved her contemplation away. Whatever it was, it was helping her speak. The brothers looked to each other, expressions unreadable.
"I am sorry, small one."
"Our mother was also taken by the humans. We understand." She nodded. Blue boy, Ashitaka, had told her that already.
I was taken to their large stone town. Bigger than Iron village. I was there for a week, until I saw Ashitaka's almost-sister. And then Chen saved me.
Her cousins continued to look at her, until Tsume finally spoke. "Your human is better than most." The words were grudging, but they came out, and Hitori smiled.
Yours isn't half bad, either.
Tsume's eyes widened, and Kiba laughed, his long tail wagging once. "Yes, San is her own kind of human." Kiba conceded, smile remaining.
Tsume continued looking forward ahead, eyes narrowed. "She has fallen in love with that boy like a lovesick cub. She is not-" He shook his massive head, and the two white wolves rose. "No matter. How many are in your family?"
If… if they are all alive, then there is my mother and her brother, grandfather, my sister, two cousins, and the tribe of my uncle on the other side of the mountains. She counted them all in her head, making sure she got everybody, then she noticed just how big Tsume and Kiba's eyes were. They exchanged a glance.
What is it? She asked curiously.
Kiba looked to her, a smile lifting the corners of his mouth." We thought… we thought we were the only wolves left. Your family brings us great comfort. Follow, little one." They moved away, slower now, and Hitori could easily keep up. The walked for several minutes before Tsume spoke again.
"What are you?" Tsume asked her suddenly, not bothering to look behind him. Hitori was confused for a moment, before catching the voice-tone. The tone of teaching.
I am a wolf, a guardian Spirit of the Forest. Kiba nodded, but Tsume continued forward, the winding trunks of trees moving around them like columns of humans when they marched.
"Yes, but that is not all. We were not always guardians."
"Once, there was nothing to guard against." Kiba added. "Just the forest, the plains, and the mountains, in harmony."
Before the humans? Hitori asked, ears perking in curiosity. She had been too young to understand talk like this when mother had told them stories under the moon.
"No, the humans were there. I will return to that. Why can we speak and think like humans? Why are we not like the small wolves of the South?"
Because… we are guardians? Hitori replied hesitantly. They were moving uphill now, the ground becoming stonier by the minute.
"Yes, but there is more. We are granted voice, size, strength, and the languages of the earth by the power of life itself."
Oh, I know languages! Mother taught us about them. Tsume nodded and continued.
"And when our connection to life is broken, by hate or fear, or by great harm, the life we once had is consumed by death. We lose what we were, and become as demons."
Hitori nodded, somber once again. So that meant her father was dead. That gave her comfort.
"We are guardians, yes. But of all life. And now it is your turn, to gain your voice. What languages do you know?"
She took a deep breath. The trees. The soil. I was still learning wind when… when it happened. I was going to be Given Boar, next. Oh! And the moon, of course." She added hastily. She wouldn't be a true wolf without that particular language. They reached the top of the ridge, looking out over the bright morning, the sun finally rising above the hills.
"That is good. You are hoping to learn the language of humans?" Hitori nodded, and almost yipped her excitement. Luckily she held her tongue just in time. Tsume suddenly seemed… hesitant? "The language of humans is… not one you can learn." Hitori's eyes widened in shock. How was she going to talk to Chen and San and Ashitaka?! Sure, she could think at them, but she wanted to talk! Then Tsume turned to her. "It is one we Give you."
Hitori cocked her head. Wait, I thought that Given languages were only for…
"The Spirits of the Forest, yes. You would have been taught that soon enough, by your own family. We had always just accepted that that was the way it was and always had been." Kiba stated, meeting her eyes. "But the last week of her life, Mother taught us new things. And before we Give you voice, we will tell you."
"The Spirits of the Forest were not alone, in the beginning of the world." Tsume pronounced solemnly, looking to the edge of the valley, at the mountain pass. Hitori followed his eyes. There was the human group, just beginning to prepare for its eastward journey. Understanding came, and she turned to Tsume sharply.
The humans were there as well?
"They were not known as humans, then." Tsume answered. Hitori shook her head, making sure her ears were working right.
Kiba smiled wryly. "Yes, little one, they were there." Hitori's breath escaped in a gasp, now, and she scrambled to the highest rock at the top of the ridge, looking again at the fires and the wheel-movers and the cloth houses, the light of the sun over the mountains moving across the land until the camp was lit with the golden glow of morning. These humans, that had saved her life, killed her family, and became her family once again had been born with the ancient Spirits?
"Mother had suspected something. That is why she spared our sister, all those moons ago. So she could see San, and through her, all humans, with eyes cleared of our ages-old opposition."
"We did not believe her when she told us at first." Kiba interrupted, insistent.
Tsume met Hitori's eyes, gold meeting blue, and continued. "And then San grew. She learned the languages, ran with us, and became as much a wolf as she could. But she was not a wolf, no matter how she tried. But because of her love for us, she became something else. And Mother learned what it was that the humans had forgotten."
Hitori's mind was running as fast as it could, trying to understand what her cousins were telling her. Her sharp eyes picked out Ashitaka, a dot of blue next to the red mass of Yakul. She saw Eboshi, finger pointed imperiously, directing the stowing of her cloth-house. She turned and saw her brother and sister, sparring still, spinning and twirling in a dance of blades. But now she saw them. It all fell into place just as Tsume intoned the very thoughts that came to her mind, flashing like the sun off the surface of a clear lake.
"Humans have forgotten what they are. For they are gods as well."
…..
Ashitaka slid the ringblade out of its sheath slowly. It was simple, a straight single-edged blade with a ring of iron on the end as a counterbalance. He had never expected to kill with it. He examined the edge, and pulled out his whetstone. He hadn't sharpened this blade since before he had left his people. As he ran the stone down the steel edge, fire reflecting down its length, he realized that he had left barely more than three months ago. It had felt like a lifetime. The sliding of the stone on metal normally would have soothed him, but now… It only reminded him of the path ahead. He would have to fight and kill once again.
He stopped the repetitious movement to shiver. The mountain air was chilly, but refreshing. It reminded him of home.
Voices reached his ears. Was that… San? He turned to look, and to his surprise he saw Toki and San walking together. From what Ashitaka could see in the dim evening light, San's expression was guarded but not hostile, and Toki seemed to be fervent in whatever she was saying. His ears strained to hear what was being said before he stopped himself. It was not his business, and eavesdropping was not something friends did. So he continued sharpening his blade, hoping that she would come. She had left immediately following the second planning session, again leaving Ashitaka before he could get a chance to talk to her.
Pushing his anxiety aside, he though on what Chen had brought to the table that night. Two hundred samurai, all loyal to Chen as a commander and as a friend, waiting on his return to Duan-Zen. Only his five lieutenants knew of Kaya, and Chen trusted them to keep the secret close. Ashitaka did not know what to make of that, so he had decided to wait and meet these men for himself.
But they were not Ashitaka's greatest concern. He forced himself to consider his greatest fear, hand pausing on the blade, as his calm expression broke against his will. What if Kaya… had broken? What if, even now, the armies of the Empire marched on the valleys of his people? What if Kaya was already dead?
He grunted and shook his head, making himself think clearly. If that was what had happened, then he could nothing about it. It would be what it would be. He was doing his part, and that was enough. But he knew that those haunting thoughts would never entirely leave him.
"Hey." He almost jumped as San sat beside him, startling him out of his dark thoughts. He summoned a smile, and she smiled in return. Her mask was perched on her head, and she wrapped the fur cloak around her against the cold. She looked about to say something more, but leaned to meet his eyes fully. "Are you all right?" She asked carefully.
"Yes." He stated with a forced smile, placing the whetstone in his pocket and sheathing the ringblade. "Yeah, I'm just… nervous."
"About Eboshi's lessons?"
He paused. That wouldn't be a lie. "Yes. But I'll be fine. What about you, you have your first lesson tomorrow as well, correct?"
She looked down. "Yes. I… do not want to." She looked up again hastily and added. "But I will."
Ashitaka smiled again. He didn't have to force it this time. "I know you will." He reached out and took her hand carefully, unwrapping her fingers to look at the wound. San's eyes went wide, but she didn't object. Her hands were small, but rough. She had unbound the wrap, but it was healing nicely. He looked back up at her, meeting her eyes. "And I'm grateful for that."
Curiously, she avoided his gaze and glanced quickly between him and the warming fire. He squinted suddenly and leaned to see what hung on her back. "Where did you get that?" He queried, and she realized what he was referring to with a start. She drew her hand back and swung the katana's belt over her shoulder smoothly, eyes wide with excitement.
"Chen gave it to me! He said he would teach me, if I wanted." She drew the blade from its dark scabbard and handed it to him. "I… I like it. I didn't think I would, but it has really good balance." He took it and held it up to the light. The blade was almost as dark as the scabbard, slate-gray steel refusing to reflect the light of the fire, and a growling wolf's head engraving decorated the blade near the hilt. Ashitaka stood and swung it experimentally. He didn't really care for katanas, they were made to kill, but he agreed with San. It was light, with wonderful balance. He looked anywhere on the blade or tsuba for a maker's mark. There was none.
He handed it back to her, sitting again. "It is a fine blade, he was very generous."
"Oh, it's not his. I think he stole it from Eboshi. That woman has more than enough blades to herself." They sat for a second, the crackling fire filling silence, and Ashitaka wondered how to reply to that. But San spoke up before he could think of something. "But I still like your blade more. What did you call it?"
"A ringblade. All Emishi carry one when outside the villages."
She nodded, considering. "I really liked carrying it around for those few days. It was very useful."
"It was made to be that way. The Emishi are peaceful people, we've had hundreds of years to turn our weapons into tools. When the demon attacked our village, it was the first time in three hundred years we had risen in arms." She sheathed the katana and looked to him curiously, the orange light flickering in her blue eyes.
"You were worrying about them, weren't you." She stated, expression softening. "About Kaya." He looked to her, surprised.
"How did you know?" He asked quietly.
She moved closer to him on the log that served as a bench. "You're always so serious, Ashitaka. That darkness, sadness, always in your eyes. It's impossible not to know!" She looked down suddenly. "I've never seen you without it. I wish… I almost wish I had known you before all this. When you were happy."
Ashitaka didn't know how to reply. She was right, there had only been one time when she had seen him when he had been at peace, on that green hill two months ago. And now his pain was darkening her. He said the first thing that came to his mind. "You make me happy, San."
"No, I don't." She said, rising abruptly. She made to walk past the fire, Ashitaka fearing for a horrified moment that she would stride away. But she rounded the fire, pacing. "I just make things worse. You're worried, scared for me, even now. That I won't be able to learn how to be human, that I won't survive in the court." She stopped to glare at him, folding her arms. "I even promised, but you still fear!"
"San, no I-"
"Ashitaka, be quiet. I'm thinking like a human, don't mess with me." He shut his mouth hurriedly. She brought a hand under her chin, hanging her head on it while her eyes narrowed in concentration. She started pacing again, muttering to herself. He had never seen her like this before. San always just did what she thought was right in the moment, but here she was, planning... something. He jolted in surprise as she suddenly stopped her pacing to sit right next to him, leaning forward intently. He made to scoot away, but there was no bench left. Her face was very close to his, determined eyes less than a handspan away from his. "Right now, I'm a student. I'm learning to swing a sword, to sing, to be a human, -" His eyes went wide and he moved to ask a question, but her eyes narrowed so quickly he almost fell off the log. "And I'm not going to be taught any more. I'm going to teach." She stated fiercely.
Then she tilted her head, suddenly annoyed. "Wait, learning in human culture is voluntary, right?" He nodded, not wanting to anger her and definitely not wanting to catch himself from falling on his rear. San released an exasperated sigh and stood again.
His position now secure, Ashitaka looked at her in confusion. She put her head in her hands and took a deep breath, then looked to him. Her eyes were large, and she seemed nervous. Maybe the process of learning was different among wolves? Then she spoke, and her tone had completely changed, imploring and sincere. "Do you want to learn something that can give you peace, Ashitaka?"
He smiled, and nodded. Your beauty gives me peace. He couldn't have stopped the thought even if he wanted to, but he still couldn't say it. It didn't seem the right time anyway. "If it means I get to be with you, I would learn anything."
She blushed furiously but continued, determined, voice returning to its former forceful tones. She pointed at him. "I'm going to teach you languages. To hear the song of the wind, the voices of the trees, and the echoes of the moon. They will teach you the meaning of peace, and then-" Her voice broke. Her outstretched hand wavered, and she turned away, hair covering her eyes. "Then will you be happy?" She whispered.
He stood, suddenly, and drew her close. She went stiff for a moment, then melted against him. Her head was a comforting weight on his shoulder. "San, I am happy now." She drew a shuddering breath, and he tilted her head back gently, looking into her eyes. "I'm with you. I don't care what pain or confusion is in my heart, because you're here."
"And when I'm gone?" She mumbled, gently unfolding herself from his arms. But she took his hand in hers, and didn't let go.
"Then the memory of you will have to do." He smiled, trying to convey all of his love in one expression. "And the words of the earth, that you taught, they will comfort me." They sat together, the warmth of her hand spreading through him. She finally looked to him, her mouth holding just the barest glimpse of a smile. She looked up, at the moon shining above them.
"Your first lesson." She began, voice gaining strength with every word. "The languages of the earth can only be heard-" His gaze joined hers, looking to the moon and the lights of a thousand stars, and he lost himself in the sound of her voice.
Long after she let go of his hand, the warmth remained.
