ABS9
Teenagers, Babies
and Wedding cakes
The Babysitting Universe, book Nine
Chapter Eleven
"Pranked! Again."
As Julian's prank had gone badly, in the form of it was never sprung on Logan, he decided that he still needed to get Logan for the cage. Though he had been grateful, in hindsight, that Logan hadn't found the test; because that would have gone very, very badly.
Julian walked calmly down the hallway, attempting to think of a way to get to Logan, without dying himself. He now realized that consulting Jamie may be necessary. Jamie however, was nowhere to be seen. Sighing in resignation, Julian decided to see if he could find another partner in crime. Oh wait! Maybe he could talk Laura into helping him. Then he would get to both hang out with his girlfriend and get his revenge.
~o~O~o~
Twenty minutes later, Jamie found Julian and Laura giggling in Jamie's room.
" Hey, what are you guys doing in here? You better not have upset Petra." Jamie exclaimed.
" Relax. We are in here so we can see better, without being seen." Julian replied, while Laura nodded and giggled.
" What did you do?" Jamie asked. " This better not be as stupid as your last prank, and mffm" Julian had jumped up and grabbed Jamie covering his mouth before Jamie could reveal his last prank.
" Shh. No one knows." He whispered.
"So what are you doing?" Jamie asked, peering out his window.
"Salesmen. We called twenty-three Salesmen and asked for demonstrations." Julien replied. " Everything from cleaning products to timeshares."
"NO! This IS as bad as the last one! Do you know how much he bought from them!? DO YOU KNOW how long he would preach about the upcoming Salesmen Apocalypse!? DO YOU KNOW!? Do you ever listen? He bought pet stain removing steam cleaners.. THREE FREAKIN' TIMES! He bought seven Baby Bullets, before Kaitlyn, and FOUR AFTERWARDS! WHY THE HECK DO YOU THINK THE HOME SHOPPING CHANNEL IS BLOCKED!Oh no, oh no! He used to call it SMA that's right! HE USED A SHORTENING! He's still believes it's coming. I have to hide, if you think BA is bad you have NEVER seen SMA!" Jamie yelled hiding under his bed. "STOP BITTING ME PETRA!" They could hear Jamie yell from under the bed.
"I doubt that's true, it's Jamie, don't worry about it." Laura said calmly.
Julien simply shrugged it off and waited for the Salesmen. Fifteen minutes all of them showed up, one knocking on the door.
They then heard Rhane scream. "Mr. Logan, the Salesmen are back!"
They then heard a rushing to the door. "NO! WHO LEFT THE GATE OPEN!? WHO LEFT THE GATE OPEN! Sorry but we don't-wait is that a cookie maker? I'll take twelve. Oh and a flower vase. Look, wow, those knives are supposed to cut through anything that could be handy! Hey that stuff's supposed to clean everything! and a-"
Five minutes later he had everyone bring in the stuff first( He had not sent any away without buying from them…Even the Avon lady), and then called a meeting.
~o~O~o~
Logan stood before the assembled school. He began setting up the SMA charts, something many had never seen, and those who had, had intentionally forgotten. At the sight of the charts, Kitty began screaming, and Rogue crying. This frightened the students, and their husbands ( who all whom were fortunate enough to have missed this lecture before.)
After the women had calmed down, Logan began. " The End..has come. The Salesmen Apocalypse has arrived. Thanks to the thoughtlessness of one of you assembled here, they were able to get in. THEY ARE LIKE VALUTURES! Once they find the weak point in your defense they will continue to come! Twenty-three got in this afternoon, TWENTY-THREE! I've NEVER seen an infestation this bad. We are fortunate, that the Salesmen plaque has been nearly irradiated, as evidenced by the shutting down of the Home Shopping Channel, however, if they find a foothold, they will multiply! AND then we will have to beat them back again! They know where we are now, it may be time to consider abandoning the school and reforming it elsewhere! They will tell the others of their kind, and they will come. This is nearly as bad as the time the construction crew left the gate open, and the pizza men learned where we were. BUT salesmen are more persistent! THEY hypnotize you into thinking you need their products, by the time they've let you've bought TWELVE COOKIE MAKERS! That reminds me, we have somehow come into our possession of several cookie makers, someone needs to make cookies later. ANYWAY! We must prepare. We need to fortify the gate, set sentries on the road, and in the grounds, increase security, and hide the checkbooks! You all know what you must do, (he says pointing to the original X-men) explain it to the others and get ready! I'm going to look on-line to see if we can afford to move."
With this Logan stepped down, and walked out of the room, to the shocked silence followed him.
Julien whispered to Jamie " I should start listening to you."
" AHHHHH! THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING!" Jamie yelled, before leaving the room.
~o~O~o!
Wanda and Rogue, once away from the meeting, learned that they were okay with the idea of moving. Moving so far away that their parents didn't know where to find them. So, they went to the mall to buy Logan's hair dye, while everyone else freaked out.
Meanwhile, Xavier had woken from his afternoon nap, and had been briefed on the situation. He then insisted on a staff meeting. After the staff was assembled, and they noted that four were missing, Xavier began. " I have just learned of this disheartening event that occurred this afternoon. We have, once again, been discovered by the salesmen. We have already had to relocate twice before, due to this plaque, thankfully, not in your time here. However, I am unsure if we can finance another move at this time. We must find a way to work it into the budget."
" Maybe we can find it in the budget, if we were to cut out all extracurriculars. We don't really need three hundred channels, or a trip to Washington this month. I'd hate to do it, in the face of this event, but we could shut down the Danger room for now, that would reduce our energy bill by ninety percent." Logan suggested, temporarily handing the reins back to Xavier. Xavier had saved them before from this crisis before.
" Maybe we could ask Remy's people for a loan." Kitty suggested.
A collective "NO!" sounded through out the room, as Remy prepared to jump from the window at the idea. Of course, that had just been a knee-jerk reaction, as they were on the ground floor. But Kitty got the point.
" I could pay for it." John stated after a moment of silence. "Remy could help, too."
" You have no idea how much a move like this would cost. We are thankful for the offer, but you can't move a school on a teachers salary, and-" Xavier began.
" We can afford it." Remy stated. " We work here because we like to, not because we need to."
" Wait, how much are we talking about here?" Kitty asked.
" More than enough. Completely legal. Even more, not so legal." Remy replied, simply.
" Okay, begin searching for a new location. In the mean time, as soon as Rogue and the Scarlet Witch return, shut down the school. Defcon Three." Xavier stated.
