Chapter 11.
"Are you sure about this Duffy?" Standing at the front of the house and club she was looking past him, behind him. She barely reacts to his question as she turns her head away from the building and instead watches her youngest son play with the two dogs in the private garden to her right as she eventually answers him.
"Yes. What other choice do I have Charlie?" Rubbing his head he tried to think of another way around it all. This couldn't be the only option. He felt she was moving far too quickly not mention moving whilst heavily pregnant or a newborn in toe was simply ludicrous to him. She was nearly 30 weeks for christ sake, where on earth was she going to go? He'd been too scared to ask if she was planning to stay here or move back home.
"You have other options Duffy, don't rush it. Wait until after the baby is born at least. You're putting too much pressure on yourself." She still avoided looking at him, her eyes still firmly on Paul. Her mind set, despite his worries.
"I'm not! I can't run this place, I'm a nurse and it's hardly like I'll be able to do that for some time! Not to mention I could do with the money..." Trying to think of ways around it only one was coming to his mind but he was too aware she wasn't going to take kindly to it.
"What about Andrew's insurance money?" She scoffs, wishing with all her heart she'd never accepted that money. Surely he was aware of that?
"That's not mine, it's the boys." The next sentence, not that she let him finish it, was out his mouth before he had a chance to think.
"Well did Ryan have a..." Swinging round to face him finally her face was full of rage at the mere suggestion. Couldn't he see what had happened because she'd taken Andrews?
"Don't! Don't even go there! I don't care if he had an insurance policy or not." Softening his features fall, wondering how he'd convince her to do the right thing here as she turned away from him once more.
"Duffy please don't let what Ryan did stop you from making the sensible decision now."
"Sensible? Do you understand how much pain I have caused myself and my children by taking that money?! I am making the sensible choice now, same as I should have before." She had certainly digged her heels in on this one to the point he wasn't at all sure he'd manage to shift her.
"If you hadn't you wouldn't be in this lovely country Duffy or having your little girl. Think of the positive things that have happened, as hard as it is." He could see her emotions were trying to get the better of her but she was stubborn as she continued to battle through them.
" Don't! Please! I'm going to have to spend the rest of my life lying to my kids because of my decsions, pretending that I loved Ryan when in fact I didn't and was about to leave him. I never loved him Charlie. What positive can I take from that?!" Closing the distance between them he steps forward as she keeps her eyes focussed on her son who was still contently playing with the dogs.
"Then why did you leave with him? You're upset, you felt more for him than you want to admit right now." Still unable to meet his eye she was sure where she was going with this conversation but feared she might regret it.
"After all the pain of the past few years I just couldn't stay in Holby anymore, he was my ticket out. I don't Charlie, I was and am in love with someone else." Unsure completely if she really meant what he thinks she does he treads carefully.
"Why not admit it to this man then? He'd have to be a fool not to leave for you." Finally meeting his eye her chest rises slowly, building up the courage despite knowing the timing couldn't be worse.
"You didn't leave for Baz, I would never ask to do that." Hiding his shock at her statement, he rubs her shoulder stepping even closer.
"I'd have left for you Duffy in a heartbeat."
