My mind is racing! I don't want to die, even if Edward is standing here with me in all his undead, non beating heart perfection. I want my heart to keep beating.

"It's ok Bella," he smiles. "It's just the men." He takes in my startled look and continues to explain. "When women begin shifting, they can only partially phase. Do you remember?" I think of the feeling of being in two places at once and remember hearing Mikes voice and the music from my MP3 when neither of them were with me and nod slowly. Edward continues, "It takes a great emotion to allow you to shift completely, but once you have you must learn to produce that forceful emotion to shift again at will. Shifting is ruled by your emotions, at least in the beginning"

My mind flashes back a few days to when I literally landed on dads door step with Nessie. I had been consumed with fear and the desperate need to protect us both. Very powerful emotions. Then there was the anger burning my soul that must have forced me to back to Tasmania yesterday. Things are slowly starting to make sense.

"But what does that have to do with your heart?" I ask.

"When men begin shifting the forceful emotion is the breaking of your heart." His beautiful eyes are touched with sadness and bitter hate as he looks out over the horizon.

"You have a broken heart," I whisper.

"In so many words, yes." A smile flashes across his face, but doesn't touch his eyes. "For men, the first time you shift you do it completely, you are in one location and then you are in another. There is no partial shifting. The exhilaration of this new found power is unbelievable, as I'm sure you understand, but then you have to deal with the pain that comes afterwards. The emotional pain of heartbreak is one thing, but to physically feel it breaking into pieces inside you… Well, it's something you can not imagine." He turns slowly away from me and begins to walk quietly along the boardwalk. I want to comfort him, to put my hand in his and tell him it will all be ok, but I never was a good liar and I'm not sure if everything will be ok. This is a whole new world to me and I have no idea what I have gotten myself into. I catch up to him and we walk along in silence for a while, both consumed with our thoughts.

"So if your heart doesn't beat," I begin, breaking the silence, "how are you alive?"

"Most of the blood lives in the system for a very long time. I still breathe and my lungs push the blood throughout my body the way my heart normally would. It keeps my body functioning." He sounds like he is giving a medical lecture and I wonder how many times he has had this conversation.

"Do you eat?" I stammer. What a stupid question.

"Yes, of course. I am a relatively normal human being. I eat, drink and sleep, although I'm not getting much of that with all the changing occurring at present." He smiles as he speaks to me and there is a caring tone in his voice that makes me relax… slightly.

"But you are paler than normal and your skin is cool." I state.

"The blood lasts Bella," he replies, "but not all of it. Over time it gets used up working the muscles and only a thin amount circulates as I get older. One day it will be gone completely."

"What will happen to you then?!" I almost yell. Please don't let him be gone.

"I guess I will die," he replies and I cannot detect even a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Can't you get a blood transfusion or something?"

"I would loose my power Bella," he smiles sweetly at me.

"But you would be alive," I press.

"Yes I would be alive, but in a world where I don't belong, where my heart still would not beat and where I have no real connections."

"You'd have me," I whisper.

His eyes twinkle slightly as he looks at me. "No I wouldn't. You are part of my world now remember?"

"But you would be alive," I mumble so quietly I wonder if he has even heard me. Edward sighs quietly and I can feel his eyes searching my face as I examine my shoes. I hadn't realised we had stopped walking again.

"I like my power Bella. I like that I can drop in on you when you need me." I fight the grin twitching on my lips. "I like being your guide. You have been quite entertaining to watch"

Entertaining to watch! What the hell does that mean? I wonder what I have been doing in my night travels that was so amusing for him, then I think back to the observatory. Thin tank top over cold hard skin. Not really a discrete look for me. I wonder if he liked the view.

"How long have you been watching me?" I ask, fighting the battle over whether to be annoyed or flattered or embarrassed.

"I can upon you just before you got you cat."

"Adelaide is nearly eight years old! I've only been shifting for a few weeks!" Eight years!

"I knew as soon as you picked that cat that you would be one of us, so I kept you close."

"I don't understand."

"Your cat, Adelaide has powers of her own. She is an animal version of a shifter, except these animals can not travel by themselves. Their role in this world is as a taxi, for better use of the term. They take you where you need to go when you can't get there by yourself."

"Oh. So that explains why she was the one who took me to Santa Monica when I saw..." I stop abruptly when I realise what I am about to say. I feel a sneer tickle my top lip as I think about the pixie like woman. I don't know why, but I don't want him to know I was there looking for him. Even though he already knows I was trying to find him, I feel a bit pathetic for doing it.

"You said this was hereditary; how can a heart be forced to break and change you?" I ask trying to fine a more pleasant subject and failing miserably.

"Sometimes it's purely bad luck on the mans' behalf, other times it is ruthlessly planned. Remember the groups of shifters I mentioned before?" he says turning to me. I nod silently. "Well there is one particularly evil group in these. There are some with the ability to change people who aren't predisposed to shifting but most have a power like a guide except they seek out men with dormant abilities. They are seductive and manipulative creatures which easily sway their pray and when the time is right for them, they crush their victim, smashing his heart into a million pieces. It's all a bit of a game for them and if they succeed then they may even get a new play thing." I can feel the hatred rolling off his body.

"And this is what happened to you?" I can't help but feel intrigued.

"Yes, but it was a long time ago."

Long time ago or not, I feel very possessive about Edward and I want to find this bitch and rip her eyes out. Maybe I'll shave her head to so she can't be all seductive and hurt any more people. Maybe she can teach me how to be seductive first, and then I'll kill her. If only I had the power to seduce Edward… Focus Bella!

"I just can't fathom how you're alive with no heartbeat," I say trying to change the subject again.

"I'm sort of like a vampire in that way," he says grinning at me when he sees my shocked reaction to the statement. "I don't drink blood, I can go out in the daylight, but my heart does not beat and I don't age."

"Say What!" I blurt out. He wasn't kidding about there being so much I don't know. "You don't age? Huh? I mean… I have no idea what I mean…" I am completely out of my depth here.

"It's just one of those things. The rest of me is relatively normal, aside from the strength and the speed and the shifting, of course."

"Of course," I murmur. "Totally normal human being." HA!

"Bella," hearing him speak my name so tenderly begins to bring me out of my shocked stupor, "Do you need to sit down? You look a little faint." Edward offers as he places his hand on my shoulder.

I feel my body lower onto the park bench behind me like I am melting. He is touching me again and all the blood has gone from my head, from my entire body. Flashes of my dreams about him break into my thoughts, making me feel self-conscious. I feel like a giggly teenage school girl with a crush, except he has no heart beat and he doesn't age. He sits down beside me and I sense his concerned gaze.

"Did I say too much?" he asks quietly leaning towards me.

"No, it's just a lot to take in," I breathe in barley a whisper. He has no heart beat. He doesn't age. His eyes see my soul. His touch melts my bones. He has been watching me for years. He likes being my guide. I feel an unbelievable urge to touch him. There is a tension in the air, like our bodies are somehow linked and pulling towards each other. I turn to look at him and I meet his smouldering gaze. He is closer than I thought and it takes my breath away. My eyes flicker between his mouth and his eyes as I slowly lick my lips. His mouth is so close, barley two inches from mine and I taste his sweet breath on my tongue. My stomach twists into knots as he moves closer to me. I close my eyes as and my heart beats fast enough for both of us.


A/N

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