Chapter Eleven

The Many Fucked Up Faces Of Edward Cullen

BELLA

"That's perfect Mr. Cullen," The photographer almost moaned as Edward walked across the beach with Austin beside him. The tide came in slowly washing over his feet and he didn't even flinch.

He looked like every girls dream; sweet, calm… not a brash, egotistical, ass who slapped mine before fucking me on his conference table. The things we did yesterday still made me tingle in places that made me want a repeat performance. I had to sleep on my stomach because my ass hurt so badly.

Ugh this is not healthy!

But it felt so fucking good.

Here I was eyeing my boss, while holding my little diary of confessions… all about him.

"Thank you so much for this interview Mr. Cullen. It will be unforgettable that's for sure." Mr. Davis gushed. His fancy suit was now rolled up at his ankles, he was trying to keep the sand off. With the money and exposure he was about to bring to the magazine, I'm sure he could afford to buy himself new pants.

"Mr. Davis, I do hope we get a copy of the article in advance." I told him. It was part of the agreement, asking was just a formality.

"Of course Ms. Swan."

"Thank you for coming, Roger will show you out." I said pointing to Roger on the deck.

They said their long goodbyes and before long cleared the beach, leaving only Austin, Edward and I.

"Is there anything else you need from me?" I asked him while ruffling Austin's hair.

However, before he could answer, Tanya yelled out like a mad woman from the deck; "You fucking BASTARD!"

"Why are you still here Tanya?" He called out as she stomped towards us kicking up sand as if she were a child.

"You think I'm going to let you brush me to the side? What so you can fuck this whore openly?" She snapped. Now that she was closer she threw what I could guess were divorce papers at me.

Jesus, that was impossibly fast.

We just talked about this yesterday afternoon.

"That was just a draft Tanya, I've had it in a safe since the day I married you. You signed a NDA and you broke it. Which means you get nothing. No money, no status, not even a bed sheet." He said coldly… or better yet, his 'I'm Edward Cullen and I don't give a fuck about you or your feelings' tone.

"You can't prove shit!" She screamed almost turning red, "Charlie will say he came to the conclusion on his own because he knew his daughter was WHORE! It had nothing to do with me. But hey, take me to court, I will drag you into the mud Cullen and bring her down with me. I can. I will. My contract prevents me from speaking but lawyers' gossip flies are left open. I'm sure Forbes magazine will never have your SORRY ASS on its cover again!" By the time she was done her rant, she was huffing for air.

He stepped up to her; "I go to war on a daily basis sweetheart. I will get Charlie to talk and when I do, you better run as far as those Prada shoes can take you."

Her lip trembled as she breathed deeply; "I don't get it, I can do everything she can. I could be anyone you want me to be. You'd rather fuck some nobody than to give this a real chance… give yourself the chance to be normal. You're purposely making everything complicated just to keep people at bay. It's what you do and I'm saying this knowing all the bad things about you and I still stay. I still want to stay and that freaks you out. And you,"

She snapped at me; "Go home. If you think he will marry you after I'm gone you're mistaken—"

"Tanya—"

"You are a flavor, an itch, a fuck, when he is done destroying you, is three million dollars really going to put you back together?"

"Tanya!" Edward hissed lowly.

"We all want the house, the children, the guy. You won't get any of that with him and he'll make sure you don't forget him so you won't have it with anyone else either. He's fucked up like that." She frowned before turning around.

Watching her leave, I felt like I couldn't breathe. "You did this with her too didn't you?"

"I'm not talking about—"

"New day. NEW FUCKING QUESTIONS! Did you do this with her? Am I second up in the Cullen fuck festival."

He pinched the bridge of his nose; "You know what, I'm done answering questions from you."

"You cant'—"

"I made the rule, now I'm fucking breaking it Isabella. No more questions. If I want you to know something, you will know it. Anything else… just don't bother." He turned from me, pulling off his shirt and throwing it to the side as he and Austin ran off… part of me felt as if he was never coming back.

I just wanted to go back to the conference room. Taking the shirt, I walked over to the edge of the ocean and sat.

When he is done destroying you, is three million dollars really going to put you back together? Tanya's voice echoed in my head.

Opening my journal I wrote;

July 8th

Confession Number ten billion and one: I think I fucked up big time by coming here… doing this. There is a problem when you start to agree with your fuck-buddy/ boss's wife. He didn't marry her for love, but does Edward Cullen even love anyone? After everything, can he? Do I? I don't want him to hate me… I don't want to leave… When he's not being an asshole I'm happy. We laugh and drink and the sex… When he's sleeping next to me his toes curl up and he makes the cutest…

Shit!

"What are you writing?" Alice plopped down next me out of fucking nowhere.

Snapping the journal closed, I held it and his shirt to my chest;

"My memoirs." I joked.

"Really, because it looked as if you wanted to break the pen you were using." She drew in the sand as she spoke.

That's because I did. I want to break everything.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I lied.

She laughed; "I'm a mother, I can tell you're lying."

"Your kid can't even speak yet."

"And your point is?"

Ugh. This family.

"Nothing Alice."

"I think you were writing about Edward. I'm not trying to butt in, but you might need someone to talk to before you do something rash."

"What counts as rash?" I had a few ideas, but I think those were on the verge of insane.

She shrugged; "Burn down the house, talk to the press—"

"I would never—"

"Leave Edward." she continued.

I didn't say anything.

"Thank God Edward bought all the land and beach within a five mile radius around here or you all would have been ousted already." She said. I opened my mouth to speak but she cut me off, "Yes, I heard everything. And yes he slept with Tanya, not while they were married or after he met you. A couple years back he and Jasper went up to New York and basically went wild. Non-stop partying, sex, a lot of drinking and I even think some weed. Jasper says he was so drunk he picked a girl and just stuck with her. Tanya was that girl. She was modeling and for a week it was about her. When he caught her trying to dig a condom out of his trash he sobered up quickly, he told her it wasn't serious and that was that. I think Tanya still wishes he had knocked her up."

Was this story supposed to make me feel better? Because now I was just fucking confused.

"So you don't think I should leave?"

"Do what you want to do Bella. The contract he made you sign is for show, it's not like he could take you to court for not sleeping with him."

Yea, but I doubt he would let it go either.

"This is just so fucked up. It was supposed to be a one time thing. We did it, over, done, goodbye. No, he had to offer me a way out. God I hate Forks but he's just so damn cold."

"It's what he does. When he starts to experience joy he starts to freak out because God forbid he doesn't spend the rest of his life in misery. It's like he wants us all to screw up so he can tell himself 'see, no one is dependable.' Uhg it's pissed us all off for years."

So, he was happy with me? My brain worked overtime trying to understand, but apparently it was damaged from all the poison my heart kept spewing.

"I'm tired, I think I'm going to bed." I muttered, rising from the ground.

—CoaBW—

I sat in the middle of the bed staring at my packed bags. Edward must have ran all the way to Jersey, but I would wait. When the door finally opened, Austin rushed in followed by a tired and very sweaty Edward. It looked as if he had walked through a rainstorm, only, it was a dry summer evening.

He stared my bags for a moment before wincing over to the foot stool. Sitting down, he tried to reach for his shoes but the stupid idiot had worn himself out… no, he had pushed his body to the damn brink.

Rising from the bed, I walked over to him and I sat by his feet before pulling his laces slowly. His legs were trembling and looked as if they would give out any moment.

"You're an idiot."

"You're leaving." He whispered coldly.

Shaking my head, I moved to his shorts, but he brushed my hands away.

"You're leaving." He repeated.

"Yes," I whispered; "It's Friday night. I have the weekends off remember. I planned to go to a hotel then come back on Monday morning."

He was silent for a moment before bending over to kiss my head; "You scared me."

"Take off your shorts. I will run you a bath, you smell bad." I said to him moving his shoes before heading to the bathroom.

"Ms. Swan?"

Sighing, I turned around; "Yes."

"I'm sorry. This was supposed to be simple, easy and fun. But now it's complicated."

"Edward, this has never been simple or easy. And it has only been fun when you are open with me."

"I am—"

"No. You are fucked up. I am fucked up. You want me, then you don't. I want you, even when you push me away. But I'm tired Edward. Get your shit together. You're a grown man who had a shitty childhood. Guess what? You aren't the only one. It's not an excuse and if you put me in a position like you did today or like you treated me yesterday. I will leave and never come back." I stated.

He frowned but nodded; "I understand… please stay the night."

"No." I whispered walking into the bathroom. I ran the bath making it as hot as possible and added honey scented bubbles with in it.

"Thank you." He said when I stepped back.

Nodding, I grabbed my bag and placed it over my shoulder before rubbing Austin's stomach.

"See you on Monday, Mr. Cullen." I didn't want to hear his reply so I left him quickly. Moving down the stairs, I found Esme and Carlisle in the corner by the piano.

When Esme saw me her face dropped and she looked as if she aged a decade in an instant.

"I will be back on Monday. Mr. Cullen is taking a bath, can you please make sure someone supplies him with pain medication in the morning and a large breakfast. Actually, he might be hungry tonight." I rambled and Esme relaxed.

She opened to her mouth to say something but I stepped out before she could get a word in. There was a taxi waiting for me.

"The Sheraton on 5th Ave please." I told him getting in.

As the gates opened, I felt as though every eye in the house was watching as I left.

We hadn't made it more than a few miles before my phone buzzed. He had sent me an email and not a text. Upon opening it I saw why.

From: Edward Cullen

Date: Fri, July 8th, 2014 at 9:19 PM

Subject: Open

To: Isabella Swan

Dear Bella,

I'm not sure what to say to you. This afternoon I ran, trying to escape you but you followed in my mind, in my heart. You have taken over my every sense to the point where it has become increasingly harder to imagine what will become of us when the year is through. How will I just let you go? It wasn't meant to be like this as I said this evening. You are like a tornado to my soul, ripping apart everything I believed in and leaving me powerless to stop it. You don't even know it; how much power you hold over me.

From the moment I first met you, I knew that I wanted you to be a part of my life in anyway I could afford. Your beautiful brown eyes captured my heart; your smile is the light to my darkness. At night when I wrap my arms around you, everything stills and no one in the history of the world has experienced the perfection that I do in that moment… I feel human. I feel, and that scares me.

I have learned what love and happiness is because of you. But in that same light, I've learned the true meaning of jealousy and anger. Both feelings came over me like tidal wave. I wish I could have been there to protect you from James. I want nothing more than to wrap you in my arms and keep you safe, always. I will be forever regretful that I was not. Just thinking about you not being with me for any period of time, even if it is just a weekend, causes me to ache. I miss you already.

I am royally fucked up and I could share with you horror stories to prove it but I will spare you the details. I do not like to let you down and I will try to be better, for you. Always for you

Do not give up on me.

Yours,

Edward

Ps. I have spent the last few moment with my thumb hovering the send button.

P.S.S. Early Monday morning really means late Sunday night and not a moment longer.

I hadn't realized I was crying until a tear fell on my hand. I wanted to tell the driver to turn back, but I didn't want to stay in that house with Tanya and his family. All I could really do was reply.

From: Isabella Swan

Date: Fri, July 8th, 2014 at 9:28 PM

Subject: Wow.

To: Edward Cullen

I'm at the Sheraton on 5th Ave, Room 407. Come whenever. And by whenever, I mean soon.

Yours,

Bella

Ps. Sunday evening it is.

Whipping my face, I stared out window as we entered the city.

"You okay ma'am?" The cab driver said.

"No," I whispered, "I think I may be in love with my boss."

"Ain't that a bitch?"

Yea… yea it was.


So i'm trying to write as much as I can before this story gets taken down! Lol I hope it never happens but I really don't want it off this site since so many of are here!

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