And I don't know…
This could break my heart or save me.
Nothing's real, until you let go completely.
So here I go with all the thoughts I've been saving…
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me…
I won't worry about my timing, I want to get it right.
No comparing, second guessing,
No not this time…
(Sober by Kelly Clarkson)
"Hina… are you okay?"
I glanced at Sakura who was currently looking at me through her mirror, having fun styling my hair.
"I-I'm fine…" I said, hoping to sound convincing.
"You're worrying me… you've been so quiet."
"I'm always quiet." I replied with a small laugh.
"Not as much as you are today."
I sighed and looked down at my knees. I was still in shock over what I had just done. I still couldn't believe I actually put the letter in his locker…
Everything became a blur after that. I remember running home and seeing my dad... I clenched my knuckles. Some people would take advantage of their parents being home to spend time with them but I didn't want to see him. I didn't even want to look at him... My dad was rarely home and when he was, he'd only end up criticizing me. And right now I didn't need the aggravation; I was already stressed out as it is.
All I wanted was to be with someone supportive. But it was a surprise to me when I asked my driver to bring me to Sakura's place. I still don't understand why I came here; I could've gone to Tenten's like I usually did… She always found it funny how I'd rather spend time in her apartment than in my "mansion" as she'd call it.
If only she knew how empty it was…
Suddenly Sakura placed the curling iron down and gently wrapped her arms around my waist, snapping me out of my thoughts. She placed her chin on my shoulder, her eyes never leaving me. "Hina, I've known you for how long?"
"Uhh… kindergarten?" I replied confused.
"Hmm."
Where was she getting at?
"And you've liked Naruto for how long?"
I looked up at her with wide eyes. Her reflection smirked back.
"W-W-What?"
She let go of me and sat on her vanity, carefully putting the curling iron away. I looked at her face as she smiled warmly at me. "I think I know what's bothering you."
I tried to say something but the words weren't coming out of my mouth.
"Before you arrived here I got a call from Naruto." She started. Oh no… he told her! I never thought he'd tell anyone! I didn't want to think about it. I regret it; I regret giving him that stupid letter!
"He told me he got a letter from someone."
I gulped. Oh god, oh god… My heartbeat accelerated and my knuckles turned white.
"And do you know what was written in it?" She asked a devilish smile on her face.
I shook my head in reply. I felt like I was in an interrogation scene in a cop movie, except I didn't have the straps that would hold me in place and the huge spotlight that was typically used to blind the criminal…
"It said that a certain person wants to meet him at the dance."
I fidgeted with my fingers. This is just... argh! Bullcrap!
"R-Really? Well that's g-good for him b-but I d-don't see what's the c-connec-"
Sakura giggled and playfully hit my arm. "Don't lie to me! Come on! You're one of my best friends, you can tell me anything!"
I looked away from her. I hated when she said that. It always made me feel guilty. I really cared for her; I really wanted to think of her as one of my best friends too but… Would she call someone who thinks unkindly about her, just because they were jealous, a friend? Would she want to be friends with someone who desperately tries to find faults in her just to prove she wasn't perfect?
That didn't seem like a best friend to me... that was a horrible friend.
And that's exactly what I was…
"H-How do you know it was m-me?" I decided to ask. Why bother denying it now? She'll find out eventually. But I wasn't comfortable talking to her about Naruto. Here I was, the girl who was in love with him and here she was, the girl he was in love with… It just seemed wrong…
She rolled her eyes. "Honestly Hina how could I not know? He gets an anonymous letter, written on a purple stationary, asking him to meet someone at the dance? I mean, un-"
"I'm s-sure a lot of g-girls have p-purple stationeries." I cut in, trying as hard as I can to steady my voice. Damnit… I used the stationary she gave me last year…
Sakura gave me a mock-irritated look but quickly replaced it with an amused a smirk. "Yes I know that. But as I was saying, unless someone else is crazy over him, and has an identical stationary as you, which I doubt since I personalized it just for you… Hina, you're the first suspect."
I didn't stop looking at my knees. I just had to use the stationary she gave me, but it was the nicest one I had!
Why, why, why!?
I felt sick. I really felt sick. But I didn't want to make a mess and Sakura was already all dolled up! I shook my head. It was just all the ramen I ate with her taking its toll. Naruto's face appeared in my mind and I felt myself lurch…
No it wasn't the ramen…
I whimpered and placed my forehead on her vanity.
"Hey! Watch it! I just did your hair!" Sakura said as she placed a hand on my shoulder to straighten me up.
"I shouldn't have done it… " I whispered.
Sakura didn't move her hand away from me as she seemed to have frozen in place. "I don't even know what to say…" I continued as I raised my head from her vanity, keeping my eyes firmly on the ground.
"Hey..." she softly said as she went to face me and crouched down, allowing her a perfect view of my face. "I know it's not easy, but it's the right thing to do."
I stared back at her. "B-but… He doesn't even li-…"
"Naruto's a very unpredictable person." Sakura said. "But don't you dare say he doesn't like you, because he does."
I gasped and my eyes-widened. "R-Really?"
She looked down and laughed softly. She then looked up at me again a smile on her face. "I don't know how deep his feelings are, but recently he's been talking about you more."
Naruto was talking about me? But he was probably just talking about me because I spoke to him more often. It's not like he could say anything about me before; every time he'd speak to me I'd mess up…
"It doesn't mean anything…" I whispered as I looked to the side. So he was talking about a new acquaintance... big deal.
"But it's a start." Sakura said as she tipped my chin up to look at her.
I couldn't help it anymore. I just had to say what I was truly feeling. "But I'm scared…"
She looked back at me, sympathy clearly conveyed through her eyes. It was just then I realized how much she understood how I felt. Naruto was to me, what Sasuke was to her…
Suddenly she spoke. "Isn't it better than forever wondering what could've happened?"
I held her gaze and thought about what she said. She was right, it really was better than forever wondering… Like she said, Naruto's a very surprising person; we could never know what he'd do... So maybe… No, I didn't want to get my hopes up. But if the worst did happen… maybe it would give me the chance to just finally move on… Nothing would happen if people didn't take risks, and everyone had to take them. Besides, wasn't love the universal risk everyone would take?
I took in a deep breath and forced a smile. She lightly squeezed my hands and stood up to give me a hug. "It's okay Hina, everything will be alright. Besides I'm here, and everyone else will be here too."
I felt tears in my eyes. She was always so nice to me! I had to change. I had to! I don't want to ruin my friendship with her because of some guy!
"Thanks Sakura." I said as she let me go. Except this time I had a genuine smile on my face.
"Thank me later; I'm not done with you yet!" She said placing her hands on her hips. "You'll see, by the time I'm through with you, Naruto, and no other man will be able to take their eyes off you!"
"Man?" I asked amusingly. "I don't consider any of the guys we know "men" yet."
"Well…you know!" She exclaimed as she let out a laugh.
"No I don't know!" I replied just as amusingly.
She bent down to whisper in my ear. "Kakashi."
"What?! Oh my- What the- Sakura!" I shrieked. I can't believe she just said that! She just stood there and laughed at my reaction.
"Okay Genma then!"
"Stop it!!"
"What? Aim for the best Hina! Aim for the best!" she yelled as she punched the air.
I don't know how she did it but she made me laugh. It was the last thing I thought I'd do tonight but here I was, laughing my butt off with Sakura.
Laughing my butt of with my friend…
From now on, things will be different between me and her.
"AH! I can't wait!"
"Me too but I hate this stupid bruise I have! Don't you think she was stupid to miss the ball?"
"Yes."
"It's okay Tenten, it barely shows!"
"You sure?"
"Yes."
"Oh yeah Neji! Did you see what I did to Hinata's hair!?"
"Yes."
"Is that all you can say?"
"… No."
"Oh come on!"
"Okay; out the six billion people in the world, and out of all the other populations of planets yet to be discovered, why am stuck with you?"
"Some date you are!"
"Aw don't say that Neji!" Sakura exclaimed as she looped an arm over his and leaned on his shoulder. "You know deep down in that cold, cold heart of yours you truly care for us."
"Ahem." Tenten said as she looped her arm around Neji's free one a little too possessively. Sakura and Neji looked over at her. "Sakura, a bruised Tenten, isn't a Tenten you want to mess with. So step away from his arm, or in fact, any other part of his body okay?"
Sakura and Neji snorted while I looked over at them. I couldn't help but be awed; they looked straight out of a movie. Neji was dressed in a suit and wore a simple black eye-mask that made his eyes stand out even more. Tenten was at his right and had a deep green bubble dress. She actually let her hair down for once which I found made her look even more beautiful. Her mask was much more elaborate than Neji's, with various gems on it. Then Sakura was at his left, stunning in red dress that showed off her legs and wore a matching butterfly mask. I giggled as I remember how ecstatic she was when she discovered the knot-front made her chest "bigger"… It was just a shame we all had jackets on, but once inside everyone would see them.
As for me…
Get ready for this.
I thought I looked gorgeous.
Now I don't want people to think I'm getting a big head, because I'm not, all I'm saying is that Sakura really went all out on me. My hair was up in a messy bun and she left some hairs softly frame my face. And no matter how much she said she wasn't good at doing make-up I thought it was perfect. Make-up was usually Ino's area of expertise but she wasn't with us this evening…
But what really made me feel this way was what I was wearing. It was a simple golden knee length dress. It was empire-waisted and had sating ribbon under my bust. I smoothed out the skirt. I just loved how the lace detail looked on it! The only problem was it was strapless. I found it a little too revealing so I ended up borrowing Sakura's bolero to cover myself up. But it still looked good.
"Hina! You didn't put your on mask yet!" Tenten suddenly gasped. I completely forgot!
I opened my purse and took out my mask. It was white with golden painted-on lace that matched my dress, and it as also adorned with tiny white pearls. Tenten helped me put it on and stared at me once we were done.
"AAHH!!" she squealed simultaneously with Sakura. I saw Neji mutter something and roll his eyes.
"You look great Hina!" Sakura said. I blushed lightly and muttered a thank you.
"Can we go now?" Neji asked impatiently.
As the trio bickered I looked up at the school. People were already getting in clearly enjoying themselves. It was weird walking around with a mask on. I felt like it made me walk taller, more confident. No one would be able to see my blush if I ever did and no one would recognize me unless they saw my eyes…
I was going to be someone else for tonight.
I wouldn't mess it up.
If you had ever been to our gym you wouldn't have recognized it tonight. Tsunade must have had a big budget. The moment we stepped into the gym, the entrance was draped with thin white curtains. Small lights (which I thought were Christmas lights) clung to walls like vine leaves. Disco lights filled the room and I noticed the DJ on one of the corners.
I looked at the crowd and noticed how everyone looked great, although I couldn't really distinguish anyone I knew. I wasn't used to seeing them out of uniform and it didn't help much that all their faces were covered.
"See anyone you know?" Tenten slightly shouted in my ear. The music was loud! "No." I replied.
"Over there, over there!" Sakura suddenly tugged on my arm. Oh my god was Naruto here!!
I turned abruptly and saw four boys enter the gym. I let out a relieved sigh. It was Kiba and Shino. I could recognize them anytime. The other two were Chouji and Lee. Neji raised a hand to them and Lee waved back.
They joined our group and we laughed at some of their masks. We couldn't even see Shino's eyes! He claimed he could see but I doubted it. Kiba was behind me and wrapped slowly wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I blushed as he whispered in my ear how beautiful I looked, but got even redder when his lips kissed my cheek.
We stayed there for a while, dancing (well Sakura, Tenten, Lee and Kiba), talking and laughing. I tried so hard to enjoy myself but the butterflies in my stomach seemed to multiply with every minute that passed. And every time someone would come in the gym I'd have a mini heart-attack.
I tried to calm myself down by taking a drink but it just made everything worse. I noticed how eyes followed my every move and how people would whisper to themselves once they thought I was out of earshot.
Well, I did say I was someone else for tonight, they probably didn't know it was me...
I was safely standing next to Shino when someone tapped my shoulder. I actually jumped and let out a scream. I turned and saw it was only Shikamaru. "Woah, calm down Hina it's just me. Does this mask make me look that scary?" He said with a smirk. I could've sworn Shino snorted.
I was so glad I had my mask on to hide my insane blush. "Where are the others?" Shikamaru then asked.
"Oh um I think they're near the DJ." I said pointing to the far corner of the gym.
Shikamaru thanked us and left. "Hinata." Shino suddenly said.
I turned to him. "Yes?"
"What's bothering you?" he asked.
I looked at him put a hand to my mouth. I knew this was supposed to be one of those serious moments where he actually showed me he cared but looking at him with the ridiculous mask on his face almost made me laugh in hysterics…
"Nothing, I'm f-fine." I said as I fought back a laugh.
Shino was still looking at me. And I stared back, my eyes tearing up because of the laughter I held. I couldn't take it anymore and started laughing. Shino sighed and said something about how I lost it.
Sakura came over to me looking exasperated. She leaned angrily on the wall next to me and let out a groan.
"Did you reach her?" I asked. Sakura left from time to time to call Ino. Unfortunately she wasn't answering her phone, and when we called her place her parents said she wasn't home…
"NO! What's the use of having a phone if you don't answer it!?"
"I'm sure she's going to come." I said as I placed a hand on her shoulder.
Shino stepped in beside me. "I don't think Ino would miss her last homecoming."
Sakura smiled lightly and straightened up, although the smile on her face vanished and was replaced by a shocked look. We both turned to look at what she was staring at. "Oh my god!!" Sakura and I yelled together.
Ino was there! She was standing at the entrance looking at the crowd. It seemed like she was looking for someone.
This past few weeks Ino didn't care what she looked like but now… She looked amazing! She looked like how I always remembered her. She was wearing a purple fitted dress with jeweled straps, and her silver mask sparkled in the light.
Suddenly she stopped searching the crowd as her eyes landed on who she was looking for. She started walking forwards, her footsteps matching the beat that was playing and her hips swaying like a model. She looked so confident, so sure of herself it made me and Sakura smile.
Our Ino was back!
Along with the many students in the gym, our eyes followed her. She stopped near a group of boys and tapped on one of their shoulders. Shikamaru turned.
"AAH!!" Sakura and I both squealed. What was she going to do!?
She said something to him and the guys around them hooted. Sakura, Shino and I looked at each other still in shock. We looked over at the crowd where Ino was and saw her still standing there, facing Shikamaru who was looking back. What was going on? Tenten was among the group and nudged Shikamaru but he didn't budge.
Sakura and I decided to approach the crowd to have a better view.
"Find then, it's not like I can't find someone else." Ino said as she left.
"Oh you got burned!" Chouji yelled. The other guys were agreeing with him until Shikamaru suddenly left. We saw him quickly make his way towards Ino and grab her arm. A slow song started to play and we saw them talking to each other. Ino was looking rather irritated, but suddenly Shikamaru took her hand and placed it around his neck…
"OH MY GOD!" Sakura squealed. Someone pinched my side and I saw Tenten jumping excitedly. "He's going to dance with her! He's actually going to dance!"
I wanted to see more but more and more couples started dancing… I wanted to know what was happening!
"Wait a minute what time is it?" Sakura asked suddenly in a panic. Time? Oh no... The time!
"Wait let me check." Tenten said as she left. No this can't be happening already! It just can't!
"Sakura n-no! I c-a-"
"It's 7:50 p.m." Tenten said as she came back.
"Hina!" Sakura said. "You'll be late!"
"Late for what?"
"Sakura I can't!" I said.
"You can! Trust me you can do this!"
"What's going on!?"
"It's too soon!"
"Remember what I told you! If you don't this, you'll only end up regretting it!"
Her words struck a chord with me. It was as though Sasuke was standing right in front of me. He said the exact same words…
"Now go!" Sakura said as she gently pushed me forwards. "And I'm taking this." She said as she forced the bolero off me.
"Sakura!"
"WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?" Tenten screamed.
Not wanting to explain myself I rushed through the crowd. It was 7:50… I had ten minutes to reach him…
I couldn't believe it… It was happening. It was finally here. But where was Naruto? I didn't see him come in the gym! And where's Sasuke? I wanted to see him!
I… I needed him…
I walked as quickly as my heels let me. I still couldn't shake the feeling that I had to see Sasuke. I didn't understand it…He had this quiet strength that calmed me. It made me feel braver, stronger, happier… Like I could do anything and he'd be there…It was selfish but it truly was how I felt.
I stopped when I was caught in a sea of dancing people. I took in a deep breath, willing myself not to panic. Even if Sasuke wasn't here I had to do this. I couldn't always rely on him…
I tried to push myself through the crowd but it was very difficult. I ended up pushing the couples without excusing myself as I was getting more and more restless. I was running out of time…
I finally made my way to where the entrance was. I almost ran as I saw it in front of me... waiting for me to cross it and see him…
The moment I stepped out of the gym, my wrist was suddenly grabbed causing me to lose my balance. No! I couldn't waste any time! And I couldn't fall in this dress!
I angrily turned to see who stopped me and gasped. Sasuke!
"You're here!" I exclaimed as I threw myself in his arms and held him tightly. Holding him calmed my heart and made everything seem alright… he was here…
"Sasuke I'm so glad you're here but I have to go!" I cried as I turned to leave.
"Wait." He said as he tugged on my wrist once again.
I looked at him and couldn't understand the emotion in his eyes. His white mask only covered the right part of his face but I could clearly see something was troubling him. His dark eyes stayed on me and his grip didn't loosen.
"Sasuke?" I said. What was wrong with him?
"Hina don't…" He said. I gaped at him. Don't? Did he know what I was about to do? Why was he telling me not to go? I thought he wanted me to do this!
"Don't be late." He suddenly said as he let go of my wrist. "He's been there for almost half an hour."
Naruto was here the whole time? Oh my god! I had to see him! He was waiting for me!
"Thank you!" I joyfully said as I ran towards the end of the hallway.
"I told you I could do it Sasuke!" I yelled again as I looked back to see him shrinking away.
Shit.
That's what I got her into. Shit.
The moment Naruto told me he received a letter, I knew. I KNEW it was from her.
And I stupidly let her go!
Why didn't I stop her!?
"Don't be late?" What the fuck!? "DON'T BE LATE!?"
"Don't go." Is what I should've said!
But she was so happy…
Naruto, please…
Don't hurt her.
I'm so sorry!! I know it's almost been a month since the last chapter but exams caught up to me -- So I didn't have any time to write… And I'm so sorry I left you guys with a cliffhanger! I didn't want to, honest! I also know this seems like a filler but I like to think that it's more of a foundation of what's to come lol (okay I'll be honest, I think this sucks… argh!) I don't think you guys will have to wait long for the next chapter because I've already written half of it, so… yay! hehe… right… ( I hate that I made you guys wait for such a horrible chapter! I'll make it up to you with the next one… hopefully…
P.S. Does anyone else find it hilarious how this supposedly takes place in Halloween but we are waaaaaay past that and into the holidays? No? Okay, I'll shut up now…
