Nat (03:52:38): Cap is on the move.
/
Clint (03:53:09): Are we going to have to follow him again?
/
Bucky felt like the world had been pulled out from under his feet. Everything felt distant and out of reach except for one singular fact that wouldn't stop running around in his mind:
Steve was Captain America.
Steve Rogers. Captain America. Not two different people, but one person. It didn't make sense. It made perfect sense.
What the fuck, he thought.
"Are…are you okay?" Steve asked. Captain America asked.
Bucky shook his head.
"I didn't know how to tell you," Steve said. "I didn't think it was safe."
"You…" Bucky said weakly. Words were failing him all at once. He shook his head again, trying to think around the revelation.
"I'm still me," Steve said. "I thought keeping this a secret was better – there's too many people out there who would hurt you, or anyone else I know if they knew who I was."
Bucky couldn't stop shaking his head. This wasn't happening. This shouldn't be happening.
"I didn't ask to be like this - hell, I was probably going to die before I took the offer to—"
Bucky stopped being able to listen as Steve kept talking. A few details stuck out – Steve nearly dying, joining the SSR, the Red Skull attack – but the rest of it was mush.
"—And then you moved in," Steve finished, and then sagged in relief.
For a long moment, they just started at each other, Steve looking worried, and Bucky gaping like an idiot.
Eventually, he did speak. "I need a minute," he said, and walked out of the room.
He didn't come back.
/
Sam hadn't said anything when Steve showed up at his house at almost four in the morning. Instead, he'd just opened the door and made up a bed on the couch for him before falling back asleep.
It'd been three days what Steve had started thinking of as The Incident. He could picture it with perfect clarity – the shell-shocked look on Bucky's face once he'd realised it was Steve standing there, the strange relief at having confessed everything, and finally the sound of Bucky's footsteps as he'd left the room and hadn't come back. Steve had waited for a while, but after it was clear Bucky wasn't coming back in, Steve had packed up a bag and high-tailed it to Sam's, leaving behind a hastily written sorry, I'll be at Sam's for a while on the counter. He figured it was probably best to give Bucky some space to process it all.
He hadn't done much since then, mostly just wandering Sam's apartment and feeling some incredible embarrassment at how the whole thing had gone down. In an ideal world, he may never have told Bucky, or maybe after a few years of careful trust-building and complete assurance that his roommate wouldn't sell him out. Either way, he hadn't expected it to go like that.
Currently, Steve was on Sam's couch again, watching the news as he ate breakfast. Sam eventually wandered in, moving deliberately towards Steve once he'd spotted him and sat down on the couch. Steve braced himself for whatever Sam was going to say.
"You should've waited longer," Sam said.
Steve looked up, surprised. "What?"
"You should've waited for Barnes to come back. Talked to him," Sam repeated.
Steve shook his head. "I had to get out of there. You didn't see the look on his face. He hated me."
Sam shook his head. "I really don't think that's the case."
"He made it pretty clear what he thought when he walked out."
"He's still there," Sam said.
"How do you know?"
Sam shrugged. "We text," he replied.
"What? When?"
Sam shrugged. "Long story," he said. "Ask Bucky."
Steve shook his head.
Sam sighed. "You really should've waited," he said.
"I tried," Steve said miserably. "But he just left."
"So did you," Sam pointed out.
"I thought I'd give him space."
"It's your apartment too."
Steve knew Sam probably had a point, but every time he tried to think about it, he kept coming back to that awful look on Bucky's face before he'd left the room. He looked like he'd been told someone died.
So, no matter what Sam said, Steve didn't want to call. If Bucky wanted to see him again, then he'd call. Otherwise, Steve was staying here until further notice. It just didn't seem worth the potential confrontation. Momentarily, Steve wondered if S.H.I.E.L.D had some sort of mind-wiping technology he could 'borrow' and make Bucky forget all about it.
"I can't go back there," Steve said weakly.
"Are you going to move out?" Sam asked.
Steve sighed. "I don't know," he said. "I guess I'm just waiting for this to blow over."
"Well, you're welcome to stay here, of course, but don't put off talking to him," Sam said. "You might be surprised by what he has to say."
"I doubt that," Steve replied.
Sam looked like he was trying very hard not to roll his eyes. "If you say so."
/
As the days passed, Bucky felt more and more like an idiot. How had he missed something so big? Steve was Captain America. Steve, who stayed up too late with commissions and had endless patience and baked cookies for neighbours just because they looked sad; Steve, who had fought alongside him that whole time, while Bucky had thought he was helpless. Steve had saved his life. Bucky had saved his. Granted, he already thought he was doing the latter, just not in such a direct capacity.
How the fuck had he not noticed this? Now that he'd had time, it seemed so painfully obvious now. All those times Steve had a 'work emergency' or was conveniently out of the apartment just as a crisis was happening – not to mention his friendship with Sam who had talked about trusting Steve with his identity was no big deal. There were so many moments, so many clues that should've tipped him off. He was once a fucking master assassin and spy. He should've seen it coming.
But he hadn't – he'd just brushed it all off and let himself believe Steve was just an ordinary person, incapable of knowing the struggles of a hero. Then when Steve told him the truth, he'd just stood there and hadn't even tried to be honest.
And now Steve was gone. He'd left even before Bucky would think of some reasonable response beyond gaping – he'd only left the room so he could clear his head for a moment, but that moment suddenly turned into an hour and by the time he was ready, Steve had vanished, a single note left on the counter. He tried not to be disappointed, but it was hard not to be.
Bucky had tired to keep himself in the past few days, but all he'd really ended up doing was sitting on the couch and watching too many episodes of Hero Watch. He hadn't even bothered with the police scanners – it felt too weird, and the risk of running into Captain America was probably too great – he didn't want to have to pretend everything was fine. Thankfully, New York hadn't had a single crisis in the past few days, so he didn't feel too terrible at his lack of action.
Sam had texted him a few times, though, but Bucky had mostly avoided those, only letting his friend know he was still at the apartment and totally fine. There were also a few calls, but Bucky had flat-out ignored those. It was harder to lie when the other person could hear your voice.
At around the fifteenth episode of Hero Watch and the eighth ignored text from Sam, an insistent knock on the door made him get up off the couch for what felt like the first time in days.
He opened the door, not caring about how absolutely terrible he probably looked, to find Thor standing there with a Tupperware box in his hands.
"Hello friend," Thor said. "I apologise for my intrusion, but I noticed your lover's absence so I have bought you cookies."
Bucky just blinked at him. Lover? He thought. "Uh, thanks," he said and took the box from Thor. Inside, the cookies were slightly burnt, but the sentiment behind them made Bucky want to tear up.
"If you need an ear to listen, I will lend you mine," Thor said, unusually soft.
"Steve left," Bucky said after a long moment. "I don't know if he'll be back."
"What happened?" Thor asked.
"We – we had a fight," Bucky said. He wasn't sure about telling Thor the truth exactly. Steve might've left, but Bucky would still keep his secret. It was the least he could do.
"Could it not be resolved?" Thor asked.
Bucky shook his head. "He, uh, told me something, and I may have reacted badly. It's my fault."
"Have you tried calling?" Thor asked with a concerned frown.
"I don't know if he'd want to hear what I have to say," Bucky said with a shake of his head. He had thought about it, but the moment he even got close to the phone a horrible sense of guilt came over him and he didn't do it.
"He might—" Thor began, but was cut off by a horrible scream from outside. They both ran over to the window, where they saw a sandstorm outside. It moved rapidly in, people running and screaming.
"What the fuck," Bucky said, as the sand storm converged into a body. That's new, he thought.
"I should leave," Thor said, anxiously eyeing the sandstorm outside. He shot Bucky an apologetic look, and moved towards the door.
For a moment, Bucky thought about letting Thor leave and sneaking out later to fight. But.
Did he want to keep doing that?
"Wait," Bucky said, and Thor turned around. "I'm going with you."
"But—"
Bucky removed the flesh sleeve from his left arm.
Bucky pulled the 'skin' off his left arm.
"You…you're the Soldier of Winter?" he asked, looking a little surprised.
"That's me," he said.
Thor nodded. "Then, Soldier, let us fight."
/
It probably said a lot about Steve's life that he wasn't at all surprised when a sandstorm showed up in Brooklyn. Even less so when it turned out to be a human – or, well at least human-shaped.
"How the fuck are we going to deal with that?" Sam asked as they flew in.
"Not sure yet," Steve replied. "But I'll give it a shot."
"Looks like someone's already there," Sam commented.
"Any idea who?" Steve asked.
"Looks like the Winter Soldier and Thor," Sam said with some surprise.
Steve looked over and sure enough, Thor and the Winter Soldier were there, fighting along side each other. The Soldier threw grenades, and Thor used his hammer, smashing into the storm. None of it seemed to be working that well, though the odd grenade managed to disperse it for a moment.
"Hello Captain, Falcon," Thor said.
"You know who this is?"
Thor shook his head. "This is not an enemy I've faced before. The Soldier of Winter is assisting me."
"Doesn't look like much is happening," Sam commented, as he fired off a couple of shots.
"It's a slow fight," Thor replied. "The Soldier is of great use."
Steve looked over to see the Winter Solider toss a grenade at the sandstorm. That only seemed to further agitate whatever it was and it threw a blast of sand at the Soldier, who stumbled back and dropped his gun. Steve's stomach lurched as the sandstorm started to converge on the Solider.
"Hey!" Steve called out, and the sandstorm turned its attention from the Solider. Steve wasn't sure what the hell he was expecting to do, but he dove into action anyway, throwing his shield towards it as it gathered into a human form. The shield sliced right through, though the sandstorm (sand creature?) reformed in a matter of moments.
Steve swore. This wasn't what he was used to dealing with – there was usually a far more tangible enemy to fight. Thor and Falcon didn't seem to be having much luck either – both their weapons went mostly unnoticed by the sandstorm.
Steve ran over to his shield and grabbed it again, trying to slice at the sandstorm.
"Has anyone ever told you you're an idiot?" the Winter Soldier said as he moved in beside Steve, throwing another grenade into the storm.
"A few times," Steve replied as he lifted his shield to protect himself from the blast.
"Then why don't you listen?"
Steve ignored that. "Do you think if Thor hit it with lighting, it'd turn to glass?" he asked.
The Soldier regarded Steve carefully. Steve felt slightly awkward under the scrutiny, but then the Soldier nodded. "It's worth a shot," he replied, and the turned to Thor. "Hey! Thor – blast it!"
Thor seemed to get the message, and the sky above them darkened and thunder began to rumble. Soon enough, lighting crackled in the sky, and a giant bolt of it hit the sandstorm – now in its humanoid form - and it crystallised. Steve had expected some kind of sound from the sandstorm, but the blast had been so fast that its body was nothing but glass.
The Winter Solider shot at it. The glass shattered and the shards fell to the street like snow. For a moment, they both stood there, watching the sight.
"Well, I'm glad that's over," Steve said conversationally.
"I'm pretty sure I still have sand everywhere," the Solider grumbled.
"That's your own fault for throwing all those grenades," Sam replied as he landed. The Winter Solider shot him a dirty look.
"Well fought, my friends," Thor said as he flew in.
"Your lighting did it all," Steve replied.
Thor smiled. "It is the least I can do," he said.
For a moment, Steve was about to let the conversation end there, and go back to Sam's place and continue burying his head in the sand. But. He was bored, and frankly kind of lonely, and these people were sort of his friends now, right? So, instead he said: "Hey, we should all go out and celebrate. Hang out so we don't always have to meet on the battlefield."
Thor smiled enthusiastically. "Yes, let us celebrate," he said excitedly.
"Sure, why not," Sam said with a shrug.
The Winter Solider didn't say anything for a moment, and Steve thought he was going to reject the idea, but then, "Sure," he said with a shrug. "Give me a place, and I'll see you there."
Steve tried to hide his surprise. Sam looked pretty pleased, as did Thor.
"Stan's, in an hour," Sam said.
"I'll see you there," the Solider said before disappearing. Steve couldn't help his smile.
/
Internally, Bucky was freaking out. Was he going to do this?
He stared at himself in the mirror, trying to discern some kind of answer. Sure, he'd already agreed to go, but now doubt was starting to creep in and avoidance was starting to look really good.
Suddenly, his phone buzzed and Bucky saw a text from Sam.
Are you actually going to get here? He'd written.
Bucky took a long moment to respond. I'll be there, he replied.
Good, because we're waiting for your ass, Sam texted back almost instantly.
Bucky gave himself one more look in the mirror and looked at his left arm. After a moment, he decisively pulled off the skin sleeve.
He was going to do this.
About damn time, a voice that sounded eerily like Sam's whispered in his mind.
/
Steve tried not to feel too disappointed when he didn't see the Winter Solider already there at the bar. But then again, would he even know if the man himself was there? He liked to think he would, to just see him and know.
"Stop looking so sad," Sam commented when they sat down. "He'll be here."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"He gave his word," Thor said.
"I'll go get a drink," Steve said and walked back up to the bar to order. He scanned the board and eventually settled on a craft beer.
"Hey," someone said from behind him.
Steve nearly spilled his beer when he saw who it was. "Bucky?" he asked. "What are you doing here?"
"You invited me," Bucky said, a faint smile on his face.
Steve frowned. Had Sam stolen his phone at some point? "I…did I?" he asked, sure the answer was no.
Bucky laughed. It was a lovely gesture, reminding Steve of how good Bucky looked when he wasn't in shock. "Christ you're so dense, Stevie," he said, and then rolled up the left sleeve of his shirt, revealing a metallic arm.
Steve stared at it blankly.
What the fuck, he thought.
"Now you get it," Bucky said.
"You – you're…. oh my god," Steve said, unable to finish the thought. It was too impossible.
There was no way Bucky was the Winter Soldier.
But.
There Bucky was, standing there with one metallic arm. An arm Steve had been sure was entirely flesh this morning. He hadn't even considered the possibility it could ever be anything else.
"That's me," Bucky said, and then softer, "are you okay?"
"I," Steve said, then let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair, spiking it up. "It's a lot to take in."
Bucky laughed dryly. "Now you know how I felt."
"You – oh my god," Steve said, the realisation hitting him all over again.
"Yeah, now let's go sit down before you fall over," Bucky said and put an arm around Steve's shoulders and steered him towards where Sam and Thor were sitting.
"Hey, Bucky," Sam said with a smile. "Glad to see you're here."
The look Steve shot him was utterly betrayed. "How did you know?" he asked.
"Battle of New York," Sam replied.
"I knew, also," Thor added.
"Did everyone know this?" Steve asked. Was this all one big joke to Bucky?
"I only told Thor today," Bucky explained. "Figured it was about time I started to trust people."
"I can't believe it," Steve said, shaking is head. "We live together."
"How do you think I felt? I'm supposed to be a spy," Bucky replied. "And I find out on accident."
"Why didn't you say anything before?" Steve asked, genuinely curious.
"I was a little in shock," Bucky said. "Then you upped and left."
"Yeah, sorry," Steve said.
Bucky smiled. "It's alright," he said. "I get it."
"No, I'm so sorry," Steve said seriously, "I should've waited."
"I told you," Sam said pointedly.
Steve rolled his eyes. "Well, you're right," he replied, figuring it was better to get that over with than let Sam gloat.
"Don't worry about it," Bucky said. "We're here now."
Steve gave him a small smile. "That we are."
A/N: It's very much a Christmas miracle that I got this up. It's been a weird couple of days - I got sick, life happened, and then I decided now was a fantastic time to buy Sims 4. But whatever, it's here now. They know! Finally.
Also, fun fact the villain in this chapter was once again a marvel villain I've warped for my own purposes - this time, it was Quicksand (who is one of Thor's villains) and if any of you have seen The Flash, I was sort of inspired by that one episode to finish it like that. Which is probably better than the 'giant plant' idea I started with.
So, this is 100% the last update of the year, and I'll be back early January with the next update. I really won't have time to get much done between now and the New Year because I'll be computer-less during my holiday and I don't hate myself enough to attempt to type it all out on a phone.
Once again, thanks so much for the reviews/faves/etc. I appreciate it all so much.
Find me on tumblr over at bluesargently
