Thanks reviewers! You rock my brainwaves! Hope you all enjoy this.
I had been incorrect in my predicaments.
When Cutler held his son, he screamed his bloody head off until he was in my arms. When he held Delilah, she screamed until she was nuzzled in the crook of my arm. Cutler could not understand it. He grew furious with both of them and though I warned him that they would want their mother until they were toddlers, he took extreme offense at their behavior.
This, however, brought me immense amounts of joy. I rarely noticed the fatigue, the sleepless nights, the fact that my waist was now eighteen inches instead of sixteen, the fact that they weren't James's children, the fact that my mother fully intended on visiting more often than not. The fact that they had a piece of me…that my blood was coursing in theirs was more than I had ever wanted. I loved them. For the first time after James I felt pure love.
This love of my children would continue to blossom. Cutler's departure was tolerable and my jealousy was minimal. Oliver's presence was even better. There we were, just the two of us relatives, under the large oaks watching my two little babies grow. In spring they began to crawl and much to my delight they crawled into Oliver's lap and began to dishevel his wig. Summer brought them to walking. The months flew into a blur. I was so full of happiness that I had forgotten the pain.
Aiden was a boy of more kindness than anyone I had ever known. He picked the wildflowers and gave them to me. His first word was that of my new name. Mummy. He hid in the trees until I would pretend I knew not where he had gone. He popped out from behind them and ambushed me with his sister.
Delilah was such a pleasure to me. She was timid, quiet, and often the source of laughter when I played with her hair and rolled around in the grass with her. My children were all to me. They meant life. They meant love. They were the epitome of my undying happiness that I was never able to have.
But it was upon their third birthday that I felt something other than sheer happiness. At dinner, while I chided Aiden for not using his manners and warned Lila that if she took one more bite of that chocolate cake that I would confine her to a day of piano lessons while simultaneously giving Oliver my most serious look of discontent after he encouraged them, a letter arrived.
I often received letters from Cutler, but they were filled with where he was and what he had been doing and how much he yearned for me. He had not gone directly to Port Royal the day he left. He had traveled to France before leaving for India. Then, he spent most of his time securing colonies along the Caribbean until he docked in Port Royal months prior to the twin's birthday. I tore the fine parchment and laid my eyes on it.
My dear Brenna,
I have news that I am sure you will be glad to hear. Port Royal has grown in so much wealth that it is now safe for you to make your journey across the Atlantic with the twins to come live with me in the exotic world that is the Caribbean. I have everything prepared for you to come. You shall leave in a week from receiving this letter and we shall all be a family once again. Tell the children that I think of them often and have precious gifts waiting for them when they arrive.
Your humble adoration,
Cutler
My eyes shot up to Oliver's and at once he understood. The pain in his eyes brought all of my previous emotions back into play. I had been ignorant of them. They had never left but rather continued to loom over my head as an oppressing darkness.
"Oliver…" I whispered. He pushed the food around on his plate. I opened my mouth to speak but could find no words. I had to get the children quickly from me before I broke out in hysterics. "Fanny!" I then yelled to the nanny. She came bustling in with her sweet British face and took the children. Oliver stood then, about to leave until I clutched onto his arm. I held on as he attempted to shrug me off.
"It couldn't last forever!" My voice was frantic. "Our happiness had to lead to an end!"
"No!" He yelled as he pinned me in my chair and leaned over so as to tower over me. "Do you know what I have wanted since Cutler left? I wanted him to die. I wanted him to die in terrible pain so that he could feel what you have felt everyday. I wanted to take you to James myself and have you marry him before it was too late."
"It's not too late!" My throat cracked. "There is still time!"
"To become his mistress? Cutler will not stand for it. You must promise me to not sleep with him."
I could not bring my eyes to his. His hands were clasped to my face and he was forcing my eyes into his. "You were planning this from the beginning…were you not?" Silence. "You're going to do whatever it takes to be near to him…to show him you love him."
"I have to…"
"Why?"
"Because I have children!" I screamed. "He's going to look at me and think me a traitor!"
An evil chuckle was produced from his throat. "He thought that the moment he saw you smiling with Cutler."
"I was never smiling!"
"Did you know he snuck up onto the balcony to rescue you? He was so close to rushing and throwing you over his back. But there you were…dancing with him and smiling. That smile crushed him. It killed him."
My heart was a rapid burst of energy. "He should have known it was false!"
"How was he supposed to know that? You could have left of your own free will!"
"No I could not!"
"Why not? The doors were wide open!"
"Because there were guards, Oliver! Ask my mother and she will tell you! There were guards keeping me in and him out!"
The room grew eerily still.
"Your parents hired guards?"
"Yes…" My voice was barely audible. "Whose side are you on, Oliver? Mine…or his?"
"What are you talking about?"
I stared at him as if he was insane. "You give me this after believing he broke my heart and yet you stand here and defend him!"
"What, so this is his entire fault?"
"It's both!"
"Then I should not have to pick sides."
"But you made it that way."
His expression was blank for the briefest moment. And then, he took me into his arms and held me closely. He rocked me as I wept on his shoulder, feeling the all too normal pain seep back into my pores.
"Then you must go." His voice was back to its harmonic self. "Tell him the truth to stop the events that currently are taking place at Port Royal."
"What events?"
"You'll find out when you get there."
"No, Oliver. You told me you would tell me after my children. It's been three…almost four years. You promised."
He sighed and shook his head. "No. If you were to never see him again, I would tell you. But you will see him in two months time. And in that moment that you do see him…you will know."
He kissed my cheek before heading to the door.
"Oliver!" I called out to him.
He turned from the door and waited for me like I knew he would.
"Are you coming to Port Royal?"
"Yes, of course I will be. Who's going to be there when you fall?"
His words frightened me. He was going to let me find out the terrors of my new world by myself and then pick me up and place me right. I should have fought against him and ordered him to tell me. But I couldn't.
He bowed and left through the front cherry doors without another glance.
A/N: I always feel terrible because Brenna is the constant target of my depression. and it doesnt get better...such a poor thing she is.
