I woke –up today like any other day. My maids were by my side and helped me bathe and into my clothes.

After that I ate breakfast alone not waiting to see anyone and that happened a lot lately.

Today was Monday and Edward was coming back from his haunting trip. I felt very uneasy. There was something in my stomach that didn't let me be in peace. I was so nervous.

What should I do?

What should I say?

Can I tolerate his presence any more in my life?

Can I see him and forget that he was with someone else?

Can I be with him knowing that before he was with someone else?

Would I be able to restrain my hate for this woman in public?

These questions were all the time in my mind. I couldn't turn my mind off ,even though I tried a lot.

I was reading a book with the hope that I would be distracted. While I was a bit lost a maid came in my room to inform me that Edward had come back.

I didn't know what to do. I tried to stay calm and not do anything. A cold head is the best thing. I had to think very well what I was going to do and say to Edward.

For the second time the door opens and I see Princess Alice coming in. I was surprised.

What was she doing here?

Wasn't it enough to make fun of me? Now she is here to tell me about her weekend with my husband and his lover.

''Hello Bella! How are you?'' She asked very timidly.

''Hello Alice!'' I answered very coldly.

"Look Bella I didn't know that Edward was going to do that. I was sure he was going to invite you. I swear! Rosalie and I weren't making fun of you."

I was just looking at her, without answering at all. She was pleading me with her eyes to forgive and believe her, but I just couldn't.

She comes nearer and takes my hand'' I would never do that to you Bella, never. Not to you and no to any women on this world."

I felt as the tears started to from in my eyes, but I didn't want to cry in front of her. I didn't want to look weak. I didn't want her mercy, even though she must have felt it all the weekend. Poor Bella that can't keep her own husband and is humiliated in front of everyone by her own husband. These thoughts were boiling in my head. These thoughts didn't let me accept anything she said, even though I knew that I wasn't her fault.

''I know that you are hurt from what Edward did to you, but I didn't have anything to with it. I promise you Bella. I never thought he would take Tanya in his first haunting trip after marriage.'' She explained.

''There is no problem Alice. I am not angry with you. It is true, that for a moment I thought you were making fun of me, but now I understand my mistake. Please know that I have nothing against you. It is true that I am sad, but that is not because of you, but because of my husband.''

She saw me directly in the eyes ad told me. "I am sorry but I can't help you with your problem''

''Don't worry Alice and thank you for coming personally to explain your position in this story. I appreciate I lot. Have a nice day!''

''I wish you a nice day also Bella!'' she said and left my rooms.

I seated on my sofa and started to think. I felt better knowing that she and Rosalie weren't making fun of me. They are my family now. I am so happy that they aren't some cold woman, who takes pleasure in other people's pain.

Nothing could change that fact that Edward is cheating me, but knowing that my sister-in laws were not being meant for nothing to me helped a lot.

Edward and Tanya. They together. They kissing. They talking about me and making fun of the stupid young girl left home alone and humiliated. They sleeping together and he staying with her till the morning. They waking-up together.

It hurt so much to think of them together. To think of her as the woman Edward loves and wants with him. To think of her as the woman who could bring Edward's smile. To think of her as the women he confesses his love in the throat of their passion. A passion that is almost non-existent between us.

What worried my more was the fact, why was I feeling so bad? Was it because of my pride? It was the fact that I was being humiliated in front of everyone by the most important person, my husband? The fact that I wasn't given my place as his wife, or there was something else that I didn't dare to accept? I didn't dare to think too much. I didn't dare to say out-laud. Something wonderful, but that would destroy me completely in this situation.

Why was I feeling this way? He has been only mean to me. He has never thought of my hopes and dreams. He never asked me, what was I feeing and thinking.

I was not in love with him. I was in love with the idea of my husband. I was in love with the prince I had dreamed about all life. My heart didn't accept the reasoning of my head. My heart didn't want to accept that I would never be in love. That my husband wasn't the prince charming and that he didn't love me, but all the opposite he hated me. It was my stupid heart that never gave-up, even when Edward broke my heart repeatedly without thinking of me. This heart pushed me through all this humiliations from him with the hope that he would understand that his behaviour didn't make any sense. That I wasn't the enemy. That I was his wife. That I didn't hate him. That the war wasn't my fault. That I wanted desperately I chance from him to be happy.

Bella you can't let your hear lead you. You are going to be a queen tomorrow. How many times did you mother tell you that you have to reason with your head and not with your heart? You have to grow-up. You can't let Edward do that to you. You can't put all of your hopes in him only to have your heart crashed time after time. What will happen the next time he will humiliate you? Will you close yourself in you room one more time? Will the next disappointment bigger than this one? Will my poor heart bear all the pain till it stops feeling?

I felt as me head took the lead. It was true I couldn't let Edward do with me what he wanted. If I did that I don't even want to think what will happen to me and my poor heart.

I was getting dark and my maid come to my room to change me and prepare my for sleeping. After changing I was staying in front of the mirror and just seeing my reflection.

What did she have more than me?

Why did he choose her and not me?

Was she prettier that me? No, I didn't believe that, but she was certainly older than me and that she was more experienced. Were there together since many years? Probably she knows him much better than I do. Common Bella I bet everyone knows him better that you do. You never had a proper conversation with him.

I found myself brushing my hair in front of the mirror. They were silky and the brush moved freely through them. It was a soothing movement that relaxed me a lot, because it took me mind away from my problems.

Suddenly I saw as the door opened. I was curious. Who would come in my room in this hour and without knocking on the door?

I saw Edward coming in my room with his eyes fixed in my body. What was he doing here? No, today was Monday and he comes to my rooms every Monday. In the state of my sadness I had totally forgotten that he would come to my room tonight. I thought he would spare me from seeing his face tonight. Just a night after he had been with his lover.

''Isabella, how are you?'' he asked me like nothing had happened. Was he kidding with me? How are you? He was asking me how I was. What kind of joke was this?

''Fine, thank you!''

''Fine.'' He repeated to himself under breath.

He came behind me and grabbed my brush in order to brush my hair himself. He was brushing them very carefully.

''Your hair are very pretty. They seem like silk.'' He said like nothing. At the same time I imagined him caressing Tanya's hair while he was kissing her. Immediately I got rigid. I didn't want his touch. Not after him being with her last night and touching her body. He seemed to sense that and put she brush down.

While we were staying together in front of the mirror, he pushed my hair all to my right side leaving my neck in my left side all in the display of his eyes. He lowered his head and started kissing my shoulder. I felt as his soft lips were kissing the skin of my neck. I couldn't do anything at all. I just hugged myself with my arms while he kissed my shoulder.

He comes neared to my body till I feel his chest to my back. His arms come and circle my waist while caressing my arms that were so tightly wrapped around each other.

His kisses started getting more and more urgent and his hands started to wander in my body. His hand moved up from my waist and come to my breasts. He just passed his open palmed on top of them while attacking my neck and shoulder repeatedly.

I couldn't move at all. I would have been so pleased before from his behaviour. I would have done everything for him to want me, but now the only thing I felt was nausea. Just last night he had been with another women, cheating and disrespecting me openly and now he comes in my room with the idea that I would welcome him in my room and my body.

Did he think that low of me? Did he think I was someone without personality and he could do everything he wanted and I would accept it all with a closed mouth and a smile in my face?

I felt as his hand grabbed my arms and started rotating me till I was facing him. The lust on his face was so evident. He looked like a predator ready to catch his prey. His face goes to my chest and starts kissing and sucking there. His hands starts pushing my dress form my shoulders. His movement were so urged I felt my dress tearing and his teeth in the top of my breast.

In my head was Tanya's face smiling I closed my eyes tightly with the hope to push her face away. In the room were only sound of Edward's laboured breaths and kiss open-mouth kisses in my breasts.

I felt like I couldn't breathe at all. Her naked body under Edward's appears in front of my eyes. They laughing and he kissing her breasts like he was kissing my right now.

I started trembling. I felt as the world started spinning around. Edward didn't stop his movement for a moment and he was obvious of my distress.

I started to hear her laugh ringing in my ears.

I could anymore. I felt as I was losing my mind.

STOP.

Stop

I feel as kiss lips freeze there in my breasts. Slowly he raised his head till he is seeing me directly in the eyes.

''Stop. What are you talking about Isabella?'' he asked.

''Stop with what you are doing. Stop humiliating me. Stop treating me like a dirty clothe. Stop thinking I am someone you can do everything you want'' I spoke with a courage I didn't know where I got it from.

''Isabella, I advise you consider you tone first and second clear your mind. There is only one person that can give me orders and that is the King. You are no one to say me to stop or to continue.''

''I am no one. Do you hear yourself what do you say? I am your wife Edward, your wife. You like it or not I am your wife and you can't treat me like that. You can't humiliate me in front of everyone like I don't matter at all.'' He didn't say anything, but I could see clearly that he was starting to get mad.

''What do you think I feel when you have a lover? What do you think I feel when you go with her in your haunting trip with her leaving me here alone? Do you care what I feel at all?'' I was screaming and crying at the same time.

He just kept starring me like I was crazy. In fact I was crazy because he was making me crazy with all the humiliation.

''I believe I told you to control you tone. Tanya is part of my life and no one is going to change that, no you not anyone else. As if I care for your feeling, I do care for you, but I come first. I don't want to hurt you intentionally but if it happens it's not the worst thing in the world. You are my wife. You do what I say. I believe that I told you that already. If I want to be with Tanya I will be with her and you have to accept it.''

''Do you understand? I command here. Don't think for a moment you can do this dramatics that you feel bad. I don't like them and you aren't going to win anything thing out of them. I promise you that.''

"Why are you being with her'' I asked with my voice as a laud as a whisper?''

He saw me directly in the eyes'' Because she is very important to me. She has always been and will always be.'' He answered with a lowed head."'I am going to leave you tonight'' he comes and grabs my arms and looks in my eyes' 'But you are my wife and you are going to do everything I want. That is accepting me in your bed.''

''Do you understand?'' He asked me shaking me by my arms.

''Yes'' I said as the tears were running through my cheeks.

With that he left my room leaving me alone with a totally broken heart.


Hi!

I am quite happy! I was surprised by your answers and we have a winner. Someone found the "signal" :)

As always don't forget to share your angry thoughts about Edward or me!

-E