A/N: Okay, the last couple of chapters have been a little heavy on the Reid perspective. It is now time for Emily. I want to continue to thank everyone for their continued support, feedback, and patience for the twists and turns this fic has taken.
Chapter 11: Emily Post break up
Spencer Reid
"It's over." Emily couldn't believe she had said those awful, awful words. What was she thinking? How could she possibly say that to the man she loved?
You know why. Because you love him. Because you are destroying him. Like you did Matthew. You bring nothing but darkness and destruction in your path.
That voice. She knew that voice in her head, the one that always filled her with doubt, it sounded like many people at different times. Today it sounded like Father Gamino, her priest when her family lived in Rome. The one who said she wouldn't be welcome in his church if she had an abortion. For so many years now, she fought against that voice. Sometimes she beat it. Sometimes it beat her. Sometimes it was a draw. She realized that today, it won. She just couldn't fight it, not today.
Today she was sure it was right. So she sent Spencer away. He will be better, be happier without me bringing him down.
A few days later, when she came home from the hospital, there was letter in the mail. She recognized the handwriting immediately as Spencer's. She hesitated for several minutes before she opened the letter. It said:
Emily,
I love you. I will always love you, but since you tell me it's over I will respect those wishes. I need to tell you something, though. Our child, I got the remains. It took Hotch and Rossi pulling all kinds of strings, but I buried it in Arlington. There's a headstone there with just a date. I don't know why I did this really, except it occurred to me to be the thing you might do. I meant to take you there when you got out of the hospital.
I regret nothing of our time together. You have only to say the word, and I'll be there. I love you. Forever.
Spencer
There was some information about where the gravestone was in Arlington. She clutched the letter and cried.
The Grave
It was a simple headstone, nothing fancy. There was an elegance to its sparseness Emily thought. She wasn't certain how Hotch and Rossi did it, but she was glad. She looked at the grave, and felt the sadness. For the second time in her life, she had been pregnant. This time, however, she wanted the child to come to term. This time, the pregnancy was a sign of hope. But then everything went wrong.
As Emily sat there, looking at the headstone, she felt the sadness change a bit. The knot she had in her stomach since she left the hospital yesterday slowly disappeared, but in it's place was a feeling of emptiness. She knew what was missing, but she didn't want to think about it.
I did the right thing. I know I did. She kept saying that over and over again.
But all the while, she felt a light touch on her hand. She imagined hearing Spencer's calming voice, just like that first night they were together. He held her so close after she woke up from nightmares, and she felt safe and secure. And loved.
David Rossi
The next day, Emily was back in the BAU. She was buried in paperwork, working on consults. The number of them was almost overwhelming, but it didn't really bother her. She was glad to have something to occupy her mind that wasn't about her personal life. The only distraction was that every so often she looked at Spencer's empty desk.
"He's on leave." Emily almost jumped out of her chair. She turned around to see Dave Rossi there. "Reid took some time off. He should be back next week."
"I know. Hotch told me."
"You know, you could take some time off too. A few more days might be good for you."
"I'm fine Rossi. This is what I need."
Rossi shrugged his shoulders. His eyes were full of concern. Emily knew that look, and she hated it. Rossi had an infuriating habit of helping when no one asked him to. It was like he took responsibility for everyone's lives, that he always wanted to help make everything better. Emily did that to, from time to time, but she hated it when Rossi did it.
"I'm fine Rossi."
He nodded. "Keep saying it over and over, you might start to believe it."
"Rossi," she said in her warning tone.
"Look, you've been through a lot. It's okay to not be fine. It's also OK to change your mind about hasty decisions."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"I'm pretty sure you Emily." He started to walk away.
"You don't know everything, you know that?"
"Never said I did. I do, however, regret losing a few relationships though. And I wouldn't wish that feeling of regret on anyone."
He walked away, and Emily went back to work. She tried not to think about what he just said, but it wasn't easy.
Elizabeth Prentiss
It was a few days later when Emily was having lunch with her mother. She was doing her best to put on a good face. She didn't want sympathy or pity from anyone. Especially her mother. Everything was fine.
Everything was fine.
Keep telling yourself that.
Shut up Rossi.
"How is work, Emily?" her mother asked.
"It's fine. I'm just glad to get back to a normal routine."
"And Spencer?"
"He's away. He took some time off."
"That might not be such a bad idea, Emily."
"I'm fine mother. I'm just fine." The edge in her voice was one that Elizabeth Prentiss recognized all too well. It was in Emily's voice since she was a teenager, usually when Elizabeth was asking her a question. Any question.
They talked about other things for a while. Then suddenly, Emily said, "Do you know what he did? He buried...He got the remains and buried them. There's a grave with..."
"Have you been there?"
"Yes. It's at Arlington. I still can't believe he managed that, but that isn't the point."
"Then what is?"
"It's just so...so...un-Reid-like!"
"What do you mean?'
"Mom, you've met Reid. He's all logic and science and facts. If he hears a romantic tale about someone catching a falling star, and he points out it's impossible. He has a hard time with metaphor and faith. This is totally unlike him."
"Then why did he do it?"
"He thought I would want it done. He..." She started crying. She could not stop herself. Her mother held her hand, and hugged her. After Emily calmed down, she said she had to go.
After she left, Elizabeth thought for a while. Then she took out her phone and dialed.
"Hello, Spencer?"
George Prentiss
One week. Spencer Reid had been back to work for one. One week of Reid trying to talk to Emily. One week of Emily putting him off, until finally he stopped.
He looked peaceful on Friday afternoon, happy. Morgan tried to entice him to going out.
"No thanks, I've got plans."
"Plans, huh? Doing what?"
"Dancing."
"Seriously? Where?"
"That's classified Morgan."
Emily was happy. Spencer was moving on now, and now he could be happy. That was what she wanted for him, what he deserved.
That night she had her own plans. Her mother had strong-armed her into going to a formal dinner at the embassy. The truth is Emily didn't mind this time. She wanted to relax and not be at her place. That happiness she started out with didn't last. A few hours into the night, she went out into one of the balcony areas to get away from everyone. She allowed herself to cry.
"Emily? What's wrong?" The voice was deep and soft. She knew who it was before she turned around, her father George Prentiss.
George was tall and athletic, with a face that was even sterner than Hotch's. George was a former marine, who preferred diplomacy through intimidation. At the moment, however, his eyes were soft and concerned for his daughter.
"I lost him Daddy." Her voice sounded like a little girl.
He hugged her. "It'll be all right."
"No, Daddy. I thought I could be strong. I thought if I knew he could be happy, that would be enough. But I see all these people, all these men I used to date. None of them are Spencer. It's so selfish, I want him here. I want him to be with me."
"That doesn't sound selfish to me."
"It is. I've brought him so much pain. You should have seen him when he thought he was going to be a father. He was so happy. He deserves so much more than he will ever get with me. And he was willing settle for that, and I just kept pushing him away."
"Emily, if he loves, if he really loves you, then he won't give up."
Emily nodded, without believing him. He knew she was just humoring him. He hugged her, and let her have her privacy.
When he walked into the main area of the room, his wife immediately knew something was wrong. She intercepted him.
"Where are you going George?"
"I'm going to find that scrawny academic twit, and drag his ass in here."
Elizabeth sighed. Keeping George from being a bull in a china shop was one of her constant chores. It wasn't one she was always successful at. "And what, exactly, is that going to accomplish?"
"Our daughter is miserable. I am not going to stand around and do nothing."
"George Barrett Prentiss, there is nothing you are going to accomplish by harassing Spencer Reid. And did Emily ask you to fix anything? The only thing we can do, is listen to her and do what we comfort her until it passes."
"That's your plan? That's you whole plan for helping Emily?"
Elizabeth sighed. He did this every time, and every time it worked. "I already did what could be done to fix this situation."
"What do you mean?"
"Spencer called me earlier. I made sure he was on the guest list. All he has to do is get through the front door."
"Has he managed that yet?"
"You need to learn patience George. Really."
A Voice
Emily Prentiss pulled herself together. A lifetime of being the daughter of Elizabeth and George Prentiss taught her how to regain her composure. She lost there, but she had now. She had to, because no matter how much she wanted to be Spencer, she knew it wasn't right. Love, true love, was about putting the other person's needs before your own. She couldn't do put Spencer through this anymore.
She walked into the main room, and put her best face on for the people there, especially for her parents. But, she was still surprised when she heard a voice ask, "Do you want to dance?"
A/N: I have yet to discover any real details from the show about Prentiss's father, so this is how I like to think of him. We will find out who the voice is in Chapter 12. Just be ready, because it will be a long chapter.
