You happily cross off the final item on your list. Packing is the absolute worst, but the most painful part is now over.

You've laid everything you need out on your bed, in somewhat organized piles. Now it's just a matter of fitting it all into your suitcase.

You grab a burgundy blouse, fold it neatly, and place it in the corner of the empty suitcase. Next, you do the same with a pair of gray dress pants. Then… a burgundy blouse? Huh? You look down at the suitcase and find only the dress pants sitting inside.

"What the hell? Sans!?"

Irritated, you turn over to your desk. Sans looks up from his phone, giving you an innocent look.

"somethin' the matter, pal?"

Grumbling, you return to your task. You fold up the blouse once more. When you go to place it, you find the pants are now missing as well. You slam the blouse back inside the suitcase and stand up to face Sans. Attention no longer on his phone, he's watching you with an amused grin. His left eye-socket glows blue as he lazily flicks his wrist.

There's a blur of burgundy fabric before your vision goes dark. The fucking shirt is now on your head. You can hear Sans snickering.

You take a deep breath before plucking the blouse off of you. When Sans first showed you his telekinetic magic, you thought it was the most impressive thing you've ever seen. Now, only a week and a half later, it's really starting to get on your nerves. As far as you can tell, Sans only uses it to be even more annoying or lazy than he already is.

"You really don't need to be in here while I pack, you know." You fold the blouse a third time and stuff it into the suitcase with a huff.

"i'm supposed to be watchin' ya. undyne's orders." Sans shrugs, his signature lazy grin plastered across his face.

"I don't think there's any racists hiding in my room."

"i dunno about that… this room has many secrets." Sans winks at you and suddenly disappears from your desk. Confused, you spin around, looking for him. "i mean… you even have a skeleton in your closet." It takes you a moment before you notice the little grinning skull hiding between a couple of shirt hangers.

"Sans, that was terrible. You're terrible. Get out." You're doing your best to fight back a smile.

"ah c'mon. i've been savin' that one. don't leave me hanging, here." You can't help but giggle at the dorky little skeleton.

"heh. why did the photon only need one suitcase?" Sans asks as he steps out from behind your clothes and patters back over to your desk chair.

"Why?"

"he's travelling light!" He sits down and beams at you, smile growing brighter at your laughter.

"Okay, that was pretty good. But could you please let me finish packing in peace. I'm supposed to go have lunch with August soon."

"you mean we're supposed to have lunch with august. and eh… i'll take care of it." Sans's eye glows blue once more. You turn and watch as each article of clothing is lifted from your bed, and folded mid-air. One by one, they float down, piling neatly in your suitcase. Your make-up, toiletries, and shoes follow soon after. Finally, everything is squeezed down tightly. The top of the suitcase shuts easily, with a click.

"Uh… Thanks, Sans." He just smiles at you languidly, before returning his attention to his Neko Atsume cats.

You plop down on your bed, resting your eyes for a bit.

The skeleton brothers have been a part of your daily life for almost two weeks now. It's been both wonderful and annoying at the same time. While you enjoy their company, it's become a little intrusive. A few days ago you had gone to take a shower, leaving Sans and Papyrus alone in your room. When you returned, they were flinging materialized bones at each other, using a couple of your dirty bras as slingshots… Sans, of course, had found your favorite lacy black bra. When you got angry with them, they apologized and told you that they had no idea what the bras were. While you fully believed Papyrus, you had serious doubts about Sans's innocence. After that, you made sure not to leave any laundry laying around.

You were leaving for Washington D.C. tonight. Which meant an entire week away from everything. No school, no Chewie, no dad, no skelebros, no windshield vandals. Nothing but babysitting Frisk and maybe doing some sight-seeing. You'd never been to the capital before and were determined to go exploring with Frisk in tow.
Wanting to see you before you left for your trip, August had offered to take you to lunch today at his favorite Pho restaurant.

Before long, you were stirred from your thoughts by the gentle buzz of your phone. You open your eyes and reach for it. There's a new text message.

"Auggie :D" 11:47 A.M.

Me and the guards are leaving now. See ya soon!

Despite Sans's complaints, you had insisted on driving there in your car. When you arrived, August was standing outside the restaurant waiting for you. You run right up to him and give him a huge, smothering hug. Standing behind him are two large, imposing, monsters. One was a large rabbit man, the other resembled a green dragon. They're tightly holding hands and leaning into each other slightly. You assume that this must be RG 01 and RG 02.

Earlier on the phone, it had taken August about 10 minutes to convince you that, yes, those were really their names. According to August, they were both orphans who were taken in by Asgore. The king had them trained from an early age to become royal guardsmen. Being famously terrible with names, he decided to name them RG 01 and RG 02.

"Hey Sans! What's up, bro? I haven't seen you in, like, forever. How's the research going?" The rabbit man saunters over to Sans, giving him a fist bump.

"hey 01… it's been going alright. we still haven't learned very much, though."

"Bummer, man! I know you and the lizard lady have been workin' hard! Keep at it, dude!"

"heh. thanks."

"Hey you guys don't mind if _ and I eat by ourselves, do you? There's some stuff I want to talk to her about… privately." August asks somewhat sheepishly.

"Yah, dude. 02 and I would love a chance to catch up with Sans, here." The rabbit man casually puts an arm around Sans. Sans looks slightly uncomfortable with the physical contact, but accepts it, giving the guards a somewhat forced smile.

August smiles and nods, signaling the three monsters to leave. 01 enthusiastically grabs 02's hand and leads him over towards a table on the other side of the restaurant. Sans sighs and eventually turns to go sit with the guards, his expression unreadable.

"Now that we're alone…" August gives you a weak smile and pulls his phone out. He taps and swipes a few times before handing it over to you.

You stare blankly at the screen, trying to decipher what you're looking at. It's a screenshot of a series of messages between August and Agatha. Scrolling down quickly, you see several picture messages. You nope the heck out of there.

"August, what the hell?! I'm not reading your and Agatha's sexts." You flick the phone back over towards him. "Reeaallly not in the mood to see your junk, today. Besides, Agatha would be pissed if she knew you were showing me this."

"When would you be in the mood to see my junk?" August wiggles his eyebrows at you jokingly. You groan and kick his shin under the table. He yelps in pain. Oops, maybe that was a little too hard. "You didn't even read them. They're not sexts." He grumbles, rubbing his leg.

"Uhg fine. Let me see."

You scroll through the messages. They all seem pretty normal. August was asking her if she wanted to come over and watch some movies. She agreed and then they had a short discussion about which movies she should bring. Agatha sent a few pictures of her DVD collection. Bellow that, the messages must be from after the movie date. They're talking about getting ready for bed… and finally… Oh. The last message.

Night, love you!

"Awww, Auggie! That's so cute! What did you say?"

"Uh…" August visibly cringes at your words. You might be imagining it, but he looks paler than normal. He didn't even complain about the nickname.

"You did reply, right?"

"Um…" Yep, definitely paler.

The waitress chooses this moment to come by. She places two glasses of ice water in front of you before taking your order. You decide you want some spring rolls as an appetizer and a small bowl of the Pho with rare steak and well-done brisket. August mumbles to the waitress that he'll have the same thing. The moment she's out of earshot, you nearly explode.

"August! What the fuck?! When did she send you this?" You immediately regret the harshness in your voice as your reaction sends August into a panic.

"It was last night. I freaked out, _! I mean it's only been a little over a month. What if she didn't mean it? What if I replied and it freaked her out? I mean, she can't possibly know what she's saying. She has no idea just how utterly fucked in the head I am. I'm so scared, _! She's gonna hurt me, I just know it. This is what happens when I let people get close! I don't know what to do… Oh god! What is the matter with me?! I should have just replied! Shit! I'm going to lose her, now. She's going to think…"

Sensing that August is on the verge of a public meltdown, you try to make your voice as calm and reassuring as possible.

"Woah, woah, woah. You're not going to lose her. We're going to solve this problem, together. Just take some deep breaths and we'll work through this." You grab his hand. It's shaking pretty badly. He squeezes your hand and tries his best to slow his breathing.

"…okay." August loosens his grip on you and gives you a feeble smile.

"Now what time did she send this?"

August glances down at his phone, hand still trembling. "…1:36 this morning."

"Can't you just tell her you fell asleep?"

"No… The last message I sent her was at 1:33. It would be too suspicious."

You sigh. "Alright… you're going to need to talk to her and tell her the truth. She's a nice girl. I'm sure she'll understand. Maybe you should invite her out tonight."

"What the hell am I supposed to tell her? 'I couldn't reply to your message because I'm an insane freak'? Fuck… this was supposed to be a happy moment for us, and I've ruined it..."

"No you haven't. If anything this is Agatha's fault for telling you that she loves you over text..."

"Yah… it would be sooo much better if I had freaked out on her in person."

Chuckling, you shake your head. "Just talk to her about it… Seriously. Everything will be fine." You do your best to give him a reassuring smile. He squeezes your hand and sips his ice water.

"I really hope you're right, _."

A few moments later, the waitress returns with your spring rolls. August perks up almost immediately. Releasing your hand, he grabs the bottle of Sriracha with a mischievous grin. Oh no. Not this stupid crap again.

"So just how spicy do you want this shit?" August gestures at the dish of dipping sauce that came with the rolls.

"Spicier than you'd be able to handle…" You decide to play along. Maybe it will cheer him up…

"Is that a challenge?"

"No, it's a fact. I am the master, after all." You giggle.

"Oh, it's on!" August proceeds to squirt Sriracha into the little dish, completely overwhelming the delicate peanut sauce. He stirs it with one of his chopsticks. He winces slightly when pops the chopstick into his mouth, causing you to giggle.

Your laughter only encourages him more. He takes one of the spring rolls and coats it with a hearty layer of sauce. He makes it even worse by adding an additional drizzle of Sriracha. He tries to play it cool, but you notice his eyes watering as he takes a bite.

It's your turn. You mimic his actions, but decide to add even more Sriracha than he did. August watches you smugly. You feel regret as soon as you take a bite. It feels like you just took a swig of molten lava. You try your best to look calm and collected, but you know your face must be bright red.

You look over at the table where Sans and the Royal Guardsmen are seated. They must not have ordered any appetizers because they're already eating their soup. RG 02 is feeding noodles to RG 01. They seem happy. Sans's chopsticks keep slipping out of his bony little fingers and falling into his bowl. He looks incredibly annoyed. Ultimately, he ends up asking the waitress for a fork.

The rest of lunch is spent talking mostly about your trip to D.C. You tell August all about the places you plan on taking Frisk. The attraction you're most excited to see is the Smithsonian. You had even gone on their website and printed out a couple of worksheets for you and Frisk to fill out. It could be like a field trip! When you were younger, you loved doing little worksheets when you went on field trips. It always felt like a scavenger hunt trying to find all of the answers. Hopefully, Frisk feels the same way.

By the time Sans comes over to tell you that everyone is done eating, you and August have finished eating your soup and have resumed your Sriracha eating contest. It is unclear who is winning at this point.

Sans watches, amused, as you squirt a massive glob of Sriracha straight into your mouth. Your face scrunches up in pain as you close your mouth to swallow.

"heh. watch this." Sans grabs the bottle from you and takes the cap off of it.

You and August watch Sans, astonished, as he chugs the rest of it. To your amazement, he looks entirely unaffected. Does he not have any taste buds?! I mean, he doesn't have a tongue. So that would make sense. But he's able to taste your and Papyrus's cooking… Also that grape drink a few weeks ago. Oh god, the fucking grape drink…

"Fuck, man. How?" August asks and you're thankfully torn from that train of thought.

"magic." Sans wiggles his fingers and winks at him lazily.

"Welp. I guess there's no bones about it. Sans is the winner." August grumbles at your pun and Sans smiles at you.

"what do i win?"

"The coveted title of 'Cock Master,' of course. _ was the previous Cock Master, but it seems you've defeated her." August grins up at Sans devilishly.

Oh god. No. Mistakes have been made.

"…cock master?" Sans snorts, his smile shifting into a smirk. You glare at August as he shows Sans the little white rooster outline on the bottle. The skeleton man doubles over laughing and August gives you his best shit-eating grin.

Soon after, the royal guards amble over to your table.

"Thanks for lunch, August! We owe ya one, bro."

"…thanks." 02 smiles sweetly at August. His voice is very smooth and deep. You're a little surprised by it because this is the first time you've ever heard him speak.

"Yah of course, guys!"

Everyone says their goodbyes before you part ways. August tells you that he'll call you later tonight to tell you how things go with Agatha. 01 gives you a big, squeezing hug. 02 just gives you a soft 'goodbye' and waves at you shyly.

When you and Sans get back to your house, it's about 2:00. He flops down on your couch mumbling something about being a tired third wheel. Before you can respond, he's already fast asleep.

You head back to your room and flip on your computer. After checking your email, you decide to play Sim City 4 while you wait for Asgore to come and pick you up. You're bankrupt after an hour and a half.