Why was he uneasy?
The snowy-haired exorcist sat in the swordsman's bed long after the other had left. He clung to the pillow, burying his face into it. He wasn't worried Lavi would say anything – it was Lavi. He trusted him more than most people. But then why was he so uneasy?
Pale fingers clasped at the sheets, pulling them around him. They smelled like the Japanese teen, and yet he could smell a little of himself as well. Almost like both of their scents had been mixed together. The thought brought a light blush to his face. He let out a sigh, a frown crossing his lips.
When would Kanda be back? He should have asked before the other left.
After dressing, he slowly pulled the door open, and peered down the hall both ways to ensure no one would see him. He exited the room, quietly closing the door behind him.
"Allen?"
The parasite-type cursed mentally, damning every deity that came to mind in the few, short seconds he had before responding. Of course this would happen. Caught by both Lavi and Lenalee in the same day – it was the cliché of his life. All he wanted was to go back to his room and change. Now that he thought about it, he bet needed to bathe too. He probably smelled like swordsman and sex.
He put on his best [fake] smile on and turned to face the dark-haired girl, hand still tight on the doorknob. "Good morning, Lenalee."
"Were you in Kanda's room?" She asked skeptically – ignoring the fact that it was well past morning – her arms crossed in front of her chest, an eyebrow arched quizzically.
Why couldn't he say anything?
Allen made a face of shock and released the doorknob as if it had burned him. "It's Kanda's room?"
"Allen."
"Didn't work?"
"No."
"Damn it." He sighed and shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants. He wracked his brain for a lie, excuse, fairy tale, anything other than the reason. "I saw a ghost?"
"Really?"
"Fairy?"
"Allen."
"I was looking for his make-up?"
"Now that is just pitiful. Stop it before you hurt yourself." Lenalee responded with a disappointed shake of her head. "Just tell me, Allen. It's not as if I can't already guess."
Allen frowned, chewing on his bottom lip. He was trying to think of anything other than the truth again. It was bad enough Lavi knew. He felt bad for wanting to lie to Lenalee so desperately. She was a good friend, and she was obviously worried about him. He had no right to lie to her, but he just couldn't bring himself to say it.
"Allen, just tell me."
"I wasn't doing anything particularly bad." He said quietly, hoping to get away with just that.
The dark-haired girl sighed, irritated with the other. "So then what were you doing?" She eyed him unhappily – more so because he was trying to lie than anything else.
"I…" The English teen took a deep breath, using those last few seconds to say goodbye to the remnants of his male pride. "was sleeping there…"
Large, dark eyes blinked at him. Lenalee's expression bordered on blank as she took it in. Silently, she tried to work out all the logic that came with that simple sentence. Not that it was particularly difficult to understand. She just wanted to take the time to think it out. "In Kanda's room?" She questioned.
"Yes."
"While Kanda was there?"
"Yes."
The girl nodded thoughtfully. "Okay."
"Okay?"
She blinked at him. "That's what I said."
Allen grimaced. That was it. That was it? That was her reaction? He worried for that? Lavi had more of a reaction than that! Had she not grasped the entire situation? Did she not realize what the situation was hinting at?
"That's it?" He asked in complete disbelief.
"What do you want me to say, Allen?" She asked, an eyebrow arched. "Do you want me to shun you?"
"I'd rather you didn't – but you didn't really react at all."
Lenalee sighed, dropping her arms from their crossed position. "There's nothing to really say. I'm happy you told me – though you probably never would have without me catching you." She explained, a light smile on her features.
"Oh."
"Do you have feelings for him?"
Could he admit it?
"D-Do I what?" Allen's voice raised a few octaves, his steel eyes wide with shock.
"Do you like Kanda?" The dark-haired girl repeated slowly.
"I…" He frowned. "Uhm… Not particularly." His eyes trained on the floor, his fingers twining together. He didn't. Really… All the time… Sure he didn't hate the swordsman – but it wasn't as if he loved him. Though, Kanda did have gentle moments – not a lot, but he had some. Rarely.
"Does he like you?"
A sigh escaped his lips and he visibly drooped "N-No, he doesn't."
"Oh, Allen." Lenalee frowned and wrapped her arms around the other tightly. She rested her head on his shoulder in hopes of comforting him.
Allen stiffened, surprised by the reassuring action. He hugged the Chinese teen back hesitantly, relaxing only slightly. Why was she hugging him? It wasn't as if he were sad about it. He realized that the swordsman held no feelings for him – he had realized that long ago. It would have been stupid to think otherwise.
"Have you told him?"
"Of course not." the English teen mumbled. "He would kill me."
She pulled away from him, staring him in the eye. A worried look crossed her features as she placed a hand to his scarred cheek. "Allen, you're crying."
The boy jumped away from her hand, rubbing at his eyes. He hadn't noticed – he didn't even understand why.
Why was he so stubborn?
It was stupid to be crying. He realized the swordsman hated him – he had accepted that. There was nothing he could do to change it. Crying would definitely not save the emotional toil at hand. Though, it wasn't as if he could tell the swordsman. One: because Kanda was away on assignment. Two: he would get run through with Mugen.
"Maybe you should tell him." Lenalee frowned, concerned for him.
"Do you want him to kill me?" Allen grimaced.
"He wouldn't really kill you, Allen." The dark-haired girl sighed.
"He would hospitalize me." The English exorcist corrected, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "It's fine just the way it is."
"If it was fine, you wouldn't have cried." Lenalee said stubbornly. "Just – please, Allen. At least think about it."
"Fine. I'll think about it." Allen sighed, knowing the Chinese teen wouldn't stop the conversation until he promised. He also knew if he didn't tell Kanda, the girl would continue to harass him about it until he did. He really had no choice in the matter.
Why was he ruining it all?
A/N: So, I realize that I write these out in notebooks really fast – but I'm always slow to type them. Like… I had this chapter done when I posted the last chapter and I also have the next chapter done but haven't even started typing it. I really need to fix these habits.
One reason is because this isn't the only thing I'm writing. I don't normally write fanfiction – in fact, this is the only fanfiction I've been writing lately. I write short stories with characters of my own creation and at the moment I'm writing the chapters to one of my stories called Chrysalis, which is why I don't get around to typing this up.
Skipping to a new subject – I want to thank everyone who reviews this, I read them all and sit there thinking "Maybe I should reply to some of these" but let me get it out right now that I'm an extremely socially withdrawn person – even with my friends. It's hard for me to say anything to anyone and I feel bad because some of you who review I genuinely want to say something, but I get nervous and then I can't think of anything to say.
For example. I'm sitting here typing up this author's note while the email from my beta [ Eternal-Dark-Eyes ] sits in its own little window waiting for me to find something to say. Needless to say I'll probably be staring at that email for a good two hours before any words come to my head. I always feel really bad for things like this – especially since I normally respond with really short answers that make me feel like a bad person.
God, this is really long isn't it? To think I can't reply to a specific person but I can say so much to a general group. I'm shutting up now – going to go reply to emails and then play Final Fantasy VIII. [I'm a ridiculously large Final Fantasy Fanboy. ]
`Vinu
P.S. Ahahahahaha… I need to pay attention when I submit things. I left some edits in it that I was supposed to take out.
