Chapter Eleven – A Glass of Wine
Tonks looked at Snape and forced herself to smile. She wondered if he had any idea if it was her, or if he thought she was just anyone in his eyes.
He was sitting, leaning back in his chair, at a small table right next to the corner. He was dressed more casually than she had ever seen him. Just a dark grey collared shirt with the sleeves rolled up and black trousers, his robe draped on the chair behind him. An empty glass of wine was in front of him.
'Hello, Nymphadora,' said Snape, looking her over.
'You knew it was me?' asked Tonks, sitting down across from him.
'I wasn't sure at first, but when I saw you almost drop your glass, I knew,' said Snape slowly.
Tonks lifted her glass of wine to him. 'Thank you for the drink,' she said, taking a sip. It was a dark red wine. Absolutely delicious.
'Are you meeting anyone?' asked Snape. 'I can't imagine that you would be here by yourself.'
Tonks shook her head. 'I'm on my own tonight.'
'Interesting,' said Snape, one eye brow raised. 'Well, then. If I'm on my own and you're on your own, we might as well be on our own together.'
She crossed her legs and looked at his empty glass. 'Do you want another drink?'
'I never drink more than one glass,' said Snape, tipping the glass on its side.
'Why not?' asked Tonks, puzzled.
'Too much drink in my house when I was a child.'
Tonks looked at him in amazement. He was such a private person; she couldn't quite believe that he just told her that.
'So what are you doing here?' asked Tonks curiously. 'Doesn't term start tomorrow?'
'That it does,' said Snape. 'But for some odd reason, I never want to spend my birthday at Hogwarts.'
'It's your birthday?' asked Tonks in surprise. Snape nodded his head.
'Cheers,' said Tonks, lifting her glass. Snape raised one eyebrow and clinked his empty glass to hers. Tonks then took a large sip of wine.
'So how old are we today?' asked Tonks.
'Thirty seven,' said Snape slowly. He wasn't looking at her, which made Tonks a bit uncomfortable. She tried to see what or who he was looking at, but she couldn't tell.
'You seem older,' said Tonks honestly.
'I know,' answered Snape. Luckily he didn't seem offended by her response. 'I feel older.'
They sat in silence for a bit. Tonks could hardly believe that she was having a semblance of a normal conversation with Severus Snape. They were talking in sentences and everything. No jeers. No veiled insults. Maybe the glass of wine was working on Snape as well.
'So what are you doing here?' asked Snape, breaking the silence.
'I had to guard Azkaban today,' said Tonks, shuddering as she said the name of the wizard prison. She finished the rest of the wine in her glass.
'Do you want another?' asked Snape. Tonks nodded. He casually lifted his hand and the waiter came over. The waiter quickly used his wand to replenish the glass.
'You guarded Azkaban and you came here?' asked Snape. 'I'm afraid I don't understand the connection, Nymphadora.'
Tonks found she couldn't meet his eye. 'I didn't want to be alone tonight,' she said, scarcely believing what she was telling him.
'Why not go to Headquarters?' asked Snape sensibly. 'I'm sure you could have found solace in Lupin or Black.'
She picked up her glass and drank more than half in one gulp. The wine was rushing to her head; she was well on her way to being drunk.
Tonks shrugged her shoulders. Remus or Sirius certainly would not give her the comfort she was looking for tonight.
She looked him in the eye then. He was looking right at her, with a look on his face she didn't understand.
'Are you doing Legilimency on me?' asked Tonks quickly. She knew that he would be teaching Harry Occlumency.
He broke eye contact then and waved his hand dismissively. 'Of course not. I just don't understand why you're here.'
'I told you why,' she said flatly.
'You did, but I don't believe you,' said Snape quietly. 'I know why I'm here, alone on my birthday. I have no friends. I have people who call themselves my friend. People who would have probably taken me out to dinner tonight, if I had asked. But that's not what I want on my birthday. I don't want to be around people who would rather be somewhere else.'
'And I'm not?' challenged Tonks. She didn't mean for the question to hurt him. She just wanted to know what he thought.
Snape smiled slowly. 'From what I can tell, Nymphadora, you are exactly where you want to be.'
Tonks stood up suddenly, practically knocking over her glass of wine. 'I'm going to the ladies.'
She walked away without a look back at Snape. Luckily, there was no one else in the bathroom.
'You're not thinking straight, Nymph,' Tonks mumbled to herself. 'You're not actually thinking of sleeping with Snape. You're not.'
But the problem was, she was thinking about it. She saw how he looked at her tonight. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that he would go home with her if she asked.
And there was something else. It was his birthday. Tonks hadn't ever known someone who actually wanted to be alone on their birthday. In a way, it was so sad. But it was so like Snape to want something like that. They could help each other tonight.
'Don't fool yourself, Nymph,' whispered Tonks. 'This wouldn't be for him at all. This is for you.'
Finally, she made up her mind. Tonks would be blunt and not beat around the bush.
She walked back towards the table and only stumbled once. Tonks sat down in the chair directly next to Snape. He watched her carefully.
Tonks took a deep breath. 'Do you want to be with me tonight?' she asked him simply.
'I am with you, Nymphadora,' said Snape, with a mock air of confusion. 'We're sitting together at this very table.'
Tonks put her hand halfway up his thigh and inched it upwards. Please let him say yes, she thought desperately to herself. She would be absolutely humiliated if he turned her down now.
'My, my, my,' said Snape slowly. 'I must have been a very good boy this year.'
He stared at her while Tonks continued to move her hand upwards. Then just as she was about to touch-
'I think it's time to leave now, Nymphadora,' said Snape, standing up suddenly. He then picked his robe off of his chair.
Tonks stood up and followed him out of the bar into the London side of the Leaky Cauldron. The cold night air made her shiver and she watched in amazement as he placed his robe over her shoulders.
'Nymphadora, I see a slight problem,' he said, sounding very causal. 'I can't take you to Hogwarts. I don't have enough money on my person for us to take the Knight Bus to your place and I can't apparate to an unknown location.'
Tonks thought quickly. Now that she was committed to this, nothing was going to get her to change her mind.
'We'll go to Headquarters,' said Tonks. 'You can use side arm apparition on me. I've had too much to drink to apparate by myself.'
'Very well,' said Snape, placing his hand gently Tonks' forearm. She closed her eyes, readying herself for apparition.
A moment later they were standing before Headquarters. Tonks stood at the door, peering through the glass, trying to see if anyone was in the hallway. She looked up. The light in Buckbeak's room was on, that was a good sign. Sirius was probably with him. When no one was over, Remus went to bed early, being such an early riser.
The coast looked clear. She opened the door and together, they walked inside. Luckily, the staircase was close, so there was only a slight chance that she would fall and wake up Sirius' mum.
To her surprise, Snape took Tonks' by the elbow and led her up the stairs. There was no chance she would trip with him holding her like he was. He probably had no desire to wake up Sirius' mum either.
'Which room is yours?' asked Snape softly. Tonks broke away and walked into her room. Snape closed the door behind her. Within the next few seconds, he placed silencing charms around the room. Then he twisted his wand, and she knew he had given his wand a reminder to wake him up. He did have to teach in the morning, after all.
Tonks sat down on her bed and took her shoes off. Snape sat next to her and started unbuttoning the back of her dress.
'Why don't you change your hair, Nymphadora?' said Snape. 'This color doesn't suit you.'
She complied, changing her hair to the pink she wore so often. And then they looked at each other. For a moment, it seemed like neither was willing to make the first move.
Finally, Snape wrapped his arms around her waist and started kissing her neck. Tonks closed her eyes as she snaked her arms around his shoulders. This is exactly what she needed.
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Tonks woke up with her head pounding. Slowly memories from last night came rushing back to her. She knew she'd be in trouble if she opened her eyes. Finally, she did just that.
Snape was sitting on the side of her bed, fully dressed, putting on his shoes. Tonks sat up slightly, though painfully aware she was completely naked underneath the thin sheets.
'Good morning,' said Tonks softly.
'Do you really want to go through the idle morning after conversation?' he asked lazily, not even looking at her.
Tonks sat up, covering herself with the sheet.
'Maybe,' she said slowly.
Snape turned and looked at her. He started to pull away the sheet. 'A bit too late for modesty now, isn't it, Nymphadora?'
Tonks pulled back the sheets over herself. He had been rough last night, which worked out well. She hadn't wanted a sweet love making session. She wanted sex, to help her forget. And she got exactly what she wanted.
Snape slid up the bed to where he was sitting right next to her. He placed his forearm on the backboard of the bed and leaned in closely to her. Gently, he stroked her cheek. Tonks closed her eyes at the caress.
'You'll have to tell me when you guard Azkaban again,' he said, a slight sneer in his voice.
Tonks moved away quickly, being careful to make sure she was covered up. She was absolutely furious. 'Don't flatter yourself,' she said as she lay down on her side, her back facing him. 'I don't think you warranted a repeat performance.'
Snape didn't move. Tonks was glad. She hoped she hurt him as much as he just hurt her. A moment later he roughly turned her so that she was facing up, on her back. In one smooth motion, he lay right on top of her, inches away from her face.
'You would take a repeat right now, and you know it,' he whispered.
Tonks had no idea who made the move first. All she felt were his hands in her hair (which was now natural), his lips on hers, her hands on his back.
Ever since Remus had rejected her, Tonks had had a horribly empty feeling inside. She desperately wanted to feel whole again. Snape could help her…
As Tonks was undoing the buttons on his shirt, Snape's wand made a loud popping sound.
Snape pulled away with a slight grimace on his face. 'I have to go. I set that for the last possible moment.'
Tonks picked up her dressing gown and put it on while Snape fastened his robe. They walked to the door.
Snape looked at her with a surprised look. 'Seeing me out?'
'Just to the door,' mumbled Tonks.
He opened the door and walked into the hallway. Tonks stood in the doorway, leaning on the frame. Just as Snape was about to walk away, another door opened and out walked Remus.
'Lupin,' said Snape as he walked down the hall, leaving Remus to stare at Tonks.
She found she couldn't meet Remus' gaze. Tonks wondered if he wanted an explanation and realized that she was completely powerless to give him one.
Remus seemed to be following Snape down the stairs. 'I know it's absolutely none of my business…' His voice trailed off as they heard the front door close.
Tonks lifted her head and looked Remus right in the eye. Remus was right. It was none of his business. He rejected her. He made her fall apart and she did not have to make him understand how she was picking up the pieces.
'But if you're going to get involved with Snape…' His voice trailed off again. Tonks could tell he was hoping for a contradiction. That this isn't what it looked like. That she really didn't spend the night with Snape.
'Yes?' asked Tonks defiantly, folding her arms across her chest.
Remus blinked slowly, as if looking at her for the first time.
'Just be careful.'
Tonks watched Remus walk away without another word. She pulled the door closed and leaned against it, feeling more alone than she ever had in her entire life.
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A/N – Guys, I can't tell you how mad this chapter made me. I've always laughed at authors who claim they simply let the characters do what the characters want to do, or they couldn't believe that a character did something or felt someway. I've always thought that to be rubbish.
My characters (okay, don't sue, JK's characters) have always done what I wanted them to do. I'm the author. I say jump, they ask how high. UNTIL THIS CHAPTER! Snape did not behave at all the way I wanted him to. I couldn't make him follow instructions! He completely took advantage of our dear girl when it was supposed to be a mutual thing. I had written the last scene of the chapter first, and I ended up having to change the whole thing around because of Snape. I can't tell you how ticked off that made me. Especially when I realized how much better the story would be because of it. Stupid Snape!
