Basically, I'm late this weekend as I had a gorgeous little nephew! My sister went into premature labour and had a beautiful little boy who is just perfect and adorable but because he was early he had some difficulty and has been in ICU for a week now and so my time has been split between work, exams and visiting my little man in the hospital so I had very little time to write. My exams are now over and little Jay should be out of hospital this week if he starts feeding properly so my time will be free again to write, my updates will now become more frequent thank you for your patience recently.
Enjoy the chapter.
Embry's point of view as asked for :D
I couldn't sleep, for the life of me I couldn't sleep. My first night off in god knows how long and I couldn't sleep.
I tried not to, I tried fucking hard not too but I got myself caught up in listening to her breathing on the other side of the wall, it was surrounding me like a melody, it would have lulled me to sleep had my phone not began buzzing with texts from Sam telling me to go to his in the morning to fill him in on any information I had, I figured he was trying to order me over text but A he wasn't my alpha anymore and B he was being an absolute asshole to Leah so I sent back the simple word no, it took everything in my will power not to tell him to go fuck himself.
He had blamed it all on her, I didn't need to hear their conversation to know it, I could see it in her eyes as she ran back up the beach, feel it radiating from her body as we walked home and even heard it labouring her breaths as I listened to her sleep. She was filling every inch of me, she had been back only a couple days and I had found myself unable to work all day, my thoughts drifted to her no matter what I did. She was beautiful, much more so than before she left, her hair was long and wavy, her skin looked healthier and more radiant, and when she was here before she was always so stressed out and upset she just looked ill. Now she was perfect, the way her hips curved out was perfect, her long toned legs were perfectly shaped not to thin, not as muscular as they once were, just feminine and beautiful, and as for her lips, her damned lips.
I shook my head back against the pillow beneath me; I was acting like a horny 17 year old kid. I used to have a crush on her when I was younger, before I became a wolf she was the girl on my mind at night time or when I was in the shower, then when I became a wolf she still drove me crazy but the guys were constantly in my head, I think they knew I had a thing for her but she was bitter Leah, a bitch to everyone and her bad temper was enough to drive me away from my crush for a little while. But then I saw real Leah, how broken and alone she was and she caught me all over again and then just like that she was gone. And now she was back, fuck now she was back and she was better, she was this amazing woman who had gone through so much alone. Her strength just added to her beauty but was got me was that she didn't see herself as strong, I could see it in the way she handled herself she thought herself as weak but she was anything but, she was strong, brave, sexy.
Fuck. I have to stop. I can't lie here thinking about her, it will drive me fucking crazy.
I swung my legs out of my bed, the cold air trying to hit me but my warm skin beating it off. This house was always cold, it wasn't even the heating because I fixed that it was more because it was empty, not of people, there was always someone here, but empty of what a house needed to be a home. Love, family, all that sort of stuff that would make this place warmer had always been missing.
I went to grab my jumper but decided not to, I didn't need it, I wasn't cold and no one would see me in just my boxers nor did it matter if one of the guys did, it was my house.
I tip toed out of my room, glancing into the one Max was in as I walked down the stairs, his little body was sprawled out, his arms behind his head and one of his legs cocked up with his foot against the mattress, the kid was the best kid I had ever met. Even when he was asleep he looked like a cool little dude. I laughed as quietly as possible as I took in his chilled out position before carrying on down the stairs, even Max was catching a huge place in my heart, normally I don't do kids I am not a kid person but he was just irresistible.
I was so caught up in my quiet laughter over Max it took me a minute to register the scene before me as I walked into the kitchen. My eyes fell on the firmest toned legs I had ever seen, tanned and smooth covered in nothing, the curve of perky ass cheeks just peeking out from a pair of short pink pyjama shorts, no upper body could be seen, it was hid by the door to the freezer but I didn't need to see the body, it was Leah. Shit. So much for escaping my thoughts of her, she just filled them again with a whole lot of bare leg and ass.
What do I do? Do I leave? No it's my house and I want ice cream. Hang on, she's in the freezer, she's eating my ice cream.
"Are you going to make a habit of stealing my food at 3 in the morning?" It came out before I could stop it and as she had done the night before her body jerked in surprise and she smacked her head on the top shelf of the freezer before falling backwards against the wooden kitchen table clutching where she had just hit. "Sorry"
De ja vu or what? Now I felt bad, I should have gone straight back upstairs. But even as I was telling myself to leave and stop making this more awkward all I could do was stare at her, she had my jumper on like she had the night before, it just made her look even more beautiful to me. It drowned her upper body but she looked amazing in it and I liked her in it, my wolf like her in it, he began purring inside me, my chest clenched at the sight, the pleasure of seeing her in my clothes causing my heart to growl in a sort of possessive need to have her in my things all the time. I was going insane. She was just staring back at me awkwardly, ok I looked like a freak. I turned to leave but she called out stopping me.
"You don't have to, I mean it's your kitchen I was just being a pig" Her voice was quivering somewhat nervously and she stepped away from the fridge, her eyes looked everywhere but at me and the stupid feeling in my stomach sprang up again, like a million little butterflies flipping around excitedly, I was almost back to that teenage kid who got nervous around her. It was ridiculous, but I suppose she had been gone so long it was weird between us now.
I didn't have a reply so instead I just walked toward the freezer, noticing how she sprang back as I got closer to her, it was almost like close proximity would burn her or something. I could hear her heart beating, erratic beats that were going far too hard and fast than what they should be but I put it down to her still being flustered from her earlier fight with Sam. I reached in to the freezer and grabbed at the tub of Cookie Dough ice cream, I ate this stuff far too much and my freezer was always full of it. I could practically hear the slap of Leah's lips as I placed the tub onto the table but still she didn't move from her place against the counter. She hadn't been this awkward with me earlier; something had changed with her, she seemed off with me, or maybe nervous. I couldn't quite decipher it but there was something different in the air between us.
Her breath halted as did her heart beat as I got closer to her, her whole body practically sucked itself in as my hand reached out for the counter behind her and I realised it looked as if I were about to launch myself at her when all I meant to do was open the cutlery drawer that lay directly behind her ass. Crap. I looked like a freak and now a pervert. I tried snapping my hand back but it brushed against the thin material covering her upper leg and she leaped away from me again this time giving a slight yelp.
"I uhh just wanted to get a spoon"
My voice shook and the words came out too quickly for her to even really understand me, she nodded all the same but now placed herself up against the stove, I could see in her face she didn't want to be this close to me, she was uncomfortable and all though the air between us was awkward my body was on fire, my hand that had brushed her leg was scorching hot and I felt flustered like when I was kid and I was in a class with my crush. This was ridiculous; I was going crazy with her in this house. I was completely over my childhood liking for her, I had been with girls since my infatuation with her, I just well...damn she was just so good looking, so different to those other girls.
I shook myself again trying to regain my posture as I reached in and pulled out two spoons, she stared at me for a few seconds as I held one out to her but she finally took it and slowly followed me to the table. This was awkward, it was just fucking awkward. Neither of us said anything for a few minutes, we just took it in turns to take some ice cream and avoided eye contact while we ate. It got to the point where it was either say something or leave, I couldn't handle the tension that was undoubtly building and so opted for conversation even if it was forced.
"So we are going to make a habit out of this?" She just frowned at me not understanding what I was trying to say, in all fairness I could have said something better than that. "I mean me finding you stealing my ice cream at stupid hours of the night" I smiled to let her know I was joking and for a second it looked like she would smile back but she just sucked on her spoon and shrugged tiredly at me. My jumper slipped off her right shoulder as she shrugged bearing her tanned skin of her shoulder, she wasn't wearing a top underneath it, no strap lay there just bare skin, soft tanned skin. Fuck. She didn't even make an attempt to lift it back up she just left the jumper where it was, her skin teasing me in the way it shouldn't at the age of 22, this was getting stupid.
"I eat when I can't sleep, my hips hate me for it but my stomach never complains" Her voice was light again, her body seemed to deflate from its on edge tension and she gave me the smallest smirk before getting more ice cream.
Even as I tried not to my eyes travelled down her body that was exposed only a little bit against the round wooden table, I could see one bare leg and a tiny slit of hip where my huge jumper had ridden up her crouched body. She didn't have an ounce of fat on her, I mean she wasn't stick thin, she had curves but it was those curves that my mom always called 'child bearing hips' I never understood what she had meant until I saw Leah, she had a curve to her body that was a perfect width, especially for a baby to sit on. Fuck sake, I'm openly checking her out again. I snapped my eyes back to hers, her face was blushed even against the dark room I could see it perfectly. "You look perfect to me" Shit, I actually just said that.
She blushed all over again and this time my face followed suit and blushed a dark crimson, at least my cheeks were so hot by this point I was sure they were crimson. I turned into an ass around her, like earlier I lied about my car being at home when I followed her from the beach, I hadn't missed her look when she realised my car wasn't outside the house. I should have just told her I followed her to make sure she was ok, that way I wouldn't look like a lying idiot who had followed her to be a freak. The truth was it killed me seeing Sam make her so upset, I couldn't just let her leave, I had watched her march up the beach and thought she would be fine, then Sam started doing his usual refusal to be in the wrong and went on a rant about how she was selfish, then Rebecca started on him and then I saw Leah leave the car park on foot and I couldn't just stay there so I picked up Papa Wolf and left, I didn't even look back to see the reaction of my brothers at my sudden disappearance. In that moment she was the only person I cared about. I was such a soppy prick, downsides of being raised by such an emotional woman like my mother was that I cared too much for people's feelings, such a wimpy little bastard. I couldn't even just leave a girls bed after a one night stand, I wait until she wakes up so I can say bye so she doesn't feel like I didn't care about her.
"So umm you couldn't sleep?" She asked her nerves were back in her voice and she stared down into the ice cream tub that lay between us rather than into my eyes. No, I could sleep if your dickhead baby daddy didn't text me like a prick right when your sweet breaths were lulling me to sleep.
"Nope, and the sick part of it is that tonight's my night off so I should be up there loving every second of sleep I get" I chose not to tell her Sam text me; I figured that would lead to a conversation that wouldn't end well. And my inner wolf was growling even at the thought of Sam right now. Such a fucking douche sometimes, I get that it's not all his fault and he had no idea about Max but sometimes he deals with things in the wrong way, not to mention Emily. My wolf rumbled inside my chest, anger prickling down my spine, I couldn't think of Emily right now. The fact she kept it secret all these years and didn't even stand up for Leah tonight...Eurgh I can't deal with it. "You couldn't sleep either?"
"No, I can never sleep at home either; I get too cold and no amount of blankets help me"
My brain snapped as she said it, I was exactly the same, even with my temperature and two duvets on me when I was in bed or even just sat around the house I was cold. I didn't reply, we fell back into silence, not as awkward as before but still a little tense.
"Asshole" Leah suddenly exploded after a few minutes of silent eating and spoon sucking. My body jerked at her sudden outburst and she let out a snort of laughter as she realised she had scared me shitless. "Sorry, it's just he's a fucking asshole"
Sam. We had arrived at that conversation although I was happy it wasn't me who brought it up, this meant she wanted to talk about it. Do I say something? Do I let her have her outburst? What do I do? I can't just stare at her I'll look equally like an asshole.
"I mean how can he even try to pin it all on me, he knew what he did to me, I was 19 what was I supposed to do stick around and watch him fucking my cousin while I sat by myself with a baby who may I just say was a big fucking baby to carry around. I mean he looks small now but he came out like this" She made a big size with her two hands before shoving more ice cream into her mouth. I didn't even have a chance to reply to her she had just exploded into a new rant. "Sorry, you probably don't even care but sometimes it just gets too much yanno? If Rebecca had heard him she would have floored him, so ignorant"
It was my turn to let out a snort of laughter. She had no idea. "She was doing just that as I left, the girl was like a beast the way she was going at him"
She didn't even looked surprised at the information, she just nodded and smirked, a smirk which made my own one come up, her smile was contagious. And just like that it was gone, she said nothing else, her wall came back up and I could tell she wasn't letting anymore information out about how she felt. She had always been good at hiding things, I mean she was openly bitchy when she was here before but she had always been good and blocking herself off from people. It was a trait I hated about her because she was such an amazing person yet she blocked herself off from people and only let them see this tough side of her rather than the vulnerable beautiful side that I saw. Now I sounded soppy again. Fuck this girl was doing things to me.
"Do we know when the funeral is yet?" She asked, her voice back to its normal tone showing no sign of the emotion she had felt seconds before. She was still expert at hiding herself off.
"I think in about 9 days or something" I shrugged her question off trying not to show that inside I was screaming that I didn't want it to ever come because when it was over she would leave, and although I had spent little time with her I didn't want her to leave, I liked having her back. Our family felt complete with her back and in the couple days she had been here I had completely fallen for Max, he was the most adorable kid, I couldn't go back to being stuck with princess Claire who bossed me around and Flynn who never talked to anyone, he just clung onto my leg, he was boring.
"I think I'm having dairy overload" Leah breathed out and fell against the back of the chair, her hand came out to rub over her stomach.
"How are you full? I'm still going strong you wimp" I joked as she rolled her head to the side, her stomach was obviously bloated against my jumper, the sight of it was as funny as her expression.
"You're a 6 foot tall, huge beefy wolf, I don't have the pleasure of being able to eat stupid amounts of food anymore and not get full up" She started chuckling this time, the air around us lightened and her laughter seemed to echo through the house filling it with the sound I had always thought was missing, laughter and happiness, warmth. I felt warm, the first time in all the time I had lived here I wasn't cold as I sat here, I wasn't alone. I actually felt at home.
"You think I'm beefy, is that a compliment or are you comparing me to a cow?"
She giggled all over again and my body buzzed with warmth, I loved that sound. As stupid as I felt admitting it I liked her being here like this with me, it felt normal. Fuck, I was being a douche. It was Leah, Leah Clearwater, the girl who once bitched me out for simply eating her slice of toast. Fuck.
"If I remember right your wolf does have lovely little spots" She raised her eyebrow at me challengingly but her teasing went straight over my head, all I could focus on was that she remember what my wolf looked like. Ok now I really was being stupid, she probably remembered all the wolves.
"Now where did I put my bell?" I rubbed my chin and glanced around the kitchen, my joke was met with a new round of laughter from Leah and she made a soft moo noise. Damn she was so different to how she used to be.
Her giggles were interrupted by a long yawn and her head drooped to the side, she was getting tired. "Mmm it's warm in here, I'm sleepy"
It shouldn't be warm, the heating was off but sure enough the relaxing warmth that only happened in blanket covered beds hit me and I followed her yawn with my own. "Yeah, I should go to bed before I demolish the whole tub and get love handles on my beefy little hips" I winked at her as I stood up and watched as her cheeks turned red again. She smiled at me, her smile wide and shining against the dark room. She sure was cute.
"Goodnight Embry" She whispered and her chair screeched across the floor.
"Goodnight Leah Loo" I teased unable to stop myself and she shot me a stern look but she couldn't hold it and started chuckling.
"It doesn't sound as annoying on you as it does on Paul" She commented on her way out and waved a simple wave before rounding the doorway toward the stairs. Leah Loo, it always annoyed her when Paul said it but it sounded nice, Leah Loo.
Well Damn, Leah wasn't how she used to be, she was...so different, perfectly so. I was grinning to myself as I placed the ice cream back in the fridge, my smile widening every second I stayed in the kitchen, the warmth was fading but my mind wasn't paying attention I just smiled at the memory of her laughter. Fuck. I felt like an idiot letting myself get close to her when she would just leave again.
"SHIT" I yelled unable to stop myself as my eyes fell over a dark figure staring in through the window above the sink. My heart restarted at a hundred beats per second, my body actually shook from the fright I had got. Sam Uley was stood outside my window staring at me.
"Embry" Leah's soft whisper called down the stairs to me, my shout obviously audible upstairs. Sam shook his head at me hearing her as well and although I didn't want to obey him my curiosity as to why he was stalking my house at 3am got the better of me.
"Sorry, I dropped the ice cream on my foot" I called back up to her and she replied with an amused laugh before her bedroom door shut again. I kept my eyes on Sam and he nodded for me to go outside, again I didn't particularly want to but I did.
"What are you doing?" I hissed at him as I ran through the side door to where he was stood outside.
"Well apparently I'm watching you flirt with my ex girlfriend" He hissed back his own voice bitter and snappy.
Flirting? I wasn't flirting. "We were just talking Sam" What a douche.
"That's not how it looked to me, I saw you checking her out. You back off, she's off limits" He snapped at me again, his voice full of possessive ignorance.
"What are you her dad? Fuck Sam stop being such a dick, I was being friendly with the girl after you fucking upset her. What are you even doing here shouldn't you be at home cosying up to your wife not here stalking Leah?" This guy was playing on my anger now; he was such a freak sometimes.
"I was on patrol. I wasn't stalking her you wouldn't answer my text and now I know why. Just back off Embry, I want to sort shit out with her and I don't need some teenage horny crush scaring her off before I can sort it out with her" He sounded like he was trying to order me. He couldn't actually be trying to order me to stay away from the girl who was staying in my house? Nope he definitely was trying to order me. What a douche. "Don't try acting innocent, the look you had in your eyes just then will have her leaving here knocked up again" Right. He's a top class prick.
"If you want to sort it out with her it may help if you stop being such a prick about it, dude you're my pack brother and you've done a lot for me but your acting like a lunatic. You can't treat her like you did earlier then come around here watching her through the night and warn one of the people being nice to her away from her. We were just talking Sam, get off your high horse and get the fuck away from my house and stop texting me and just go have a long hard think about the way your acting toward her and that kid"
"You can't talk to me like that Embry you have no idea"
"Actually I can talk to you how ever the hell I want, you're not my alpha and right now you're not even my friend so do me a favour and stop making a fool out of yourself, just leave and come back at a reasonable hour. Bye Sam." I cut him off and walked back to the door to my house.
"Embry wait"
"Bye Sam" I called again before slamming the door shut behind me and locking it. I listened for a second making sure he was actually leaving before turning to walk up the stairs.
Off limits, who did he think he was? She could be with who she wanted to be with. Not that she would want to be with me. I wasn't even checking her out, was I? I don't think I was, she was practically naked though so no one could blame me if I was. And I wasn't flirting, I was being friendly.
I leapt onto my bed, Sam's words still ringing in my head. What a douche, who stalks my house in the middle of the night? Eurgh he was losing his mind.
Her breathing, it hit me loudly over my thoughts of him, she was asleep. Damn it, this was never going to end well, I could feel it, I could feel myself getting closer to her more protective over her every second. Damn Leah.
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Don't let me fall will be updated tomorrow night. Thank you for your patience while I try to catch up.
