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"You can't let me fall," Hairu proclaims as Ui helps her onto the horse. "I'm carrying precious cargo."

"I won't," he promises, swinging himself up over behind her.

Hairu leans forward, stroking the horse's mane. "You're so pretty."

His parents are both gone for the day—no surprise—but Ui still has a key, and they'll be back in an hour. Hairu's around four months now, and her clothes still disguise any changes in her frame. Anxiety chews at Ui like this blasted mosquito he slaps off the back of his neck.

When he was younger and stressed, he would march out here, jump on a horse and ride off. He takes the reins now, and nudges the horse forward. Hairu yelps. They trot slowly at first, and then Ui asks if she wants to go faster, which she affirms. The horse breaks into a canter. Hairu shrieks in laughter.

He slows the horse, sunlight soft and warm around them, and offers her the reins. "You want to try?"

"You won't fall, will you?"

"Not unless you kick me off." Ui wraps his arms around her waist. When he's holding her, he can feel that her abdomen's slightly thicker.

Hairu snickers and urges the horse into a gallop.

"Hairu!"

By the time his parents arrive, Hairu's giddiness has vanished in a plume of anxiety. It probably doesn't help that she can see that he's on edge as well. His parents won't be thrilled about him getting Hairu pregnant outside of wedlock, especially given her age and that she works for him, but he hopes they at least approve of her.

Ui introduces them and Hairu grins at them, her magic alive. They head inside, and one of the servants gives them tea. Hairu can finally eat and drink almost normally again, only throwing up rarely now.

"So you're partners at your—job," Mother says, her voice strained.

Hairu stiffens. Ui nods. "Hairu's talented."

She smiles.

"At killing ghouls."

"Someone has to do it," Hairu says, tapping her fingers on her knee.

"What's your family like?" wonders Mother.

"They're from Hokkoido," Hairu responds. "You wouldn't know them, I doubt." She swallows, clearly uncomfortable.

"Her parents were killed by ghouls," Ui puts in. But this isn't a discussion he wants to have right now. His gaze skirts through the room, taking in the piano, the vases boasting orchids and the oriental carpets on the floor.

Mother clucks her tongue. Father's eyebrows swoop together, and Ui just knows he's about to ask a question that will bother Hairu, "We have some news." Forget breaking it to them gently.

"Oh?"

Shit. Shit. He gulps. His tongue feels too large for his mouth. Air stings his lungs.

She looks at him, eyes wide.

"We're going to have a baby," Ui says, reaching out and taking Hairu's hand.

His father sets his teacup down with a clack. "What?"

The clock ticks in the corner. A breeze wafts through the open windows. Ui meets his father's gaze and nods.

"Well, that's—quite some news," Mother says with a laugh.

"Are you getting married?" demands Father.

Ui gulps. He glances at Hairu, whose face turns as pink as her hair. Yes. Hopefully. But he can't ask her just yet. "I—"

"We don't even know anything about her family—" Father starts.

"They're dead," Hairu interjects. "I grew up in the Sunlit Garden for the CCG's special education—"

"That's not a proper education—"

Ui's said that himself enough times, but the words slap him. How dare you?

"How long have you two been seeing each other?" Mother asks. "Why didn't you mention her, Koori?"

He swallows. Hairu bites her lip and looks at him. "Since winter," he answers. He can almost see his father doing the math in his head.

"When is the baby due?" asks Mother.

"January," Hairu answers.

Ui fumbles to draw out the sonogram image. "We're sixteen weeks." It's your grandchild.

Mother picks it up and smiles at Hairu. Hairu smiles back, weakly. Father scowls, but he doesn't say much else. He's clearly not pleased that Ui knocked up his colleague.

I disappointed you again. Ui lowers his head. So much for being a hero of justice. His parents view him as irresponsible.

"At least you didn't leave her," remarks his father when Mother takes Hairu off to look at old photos, because at least she cares about trying to maintain a veneer of kindness. "So you have some integrity."

Ui flinches. "It's serious." She wasn't a fling. She isn't. She's never been anything like that.

"Seducing your younger partner who isn't nearly on the same educational level as you is hardly admirable." The man crosses his arms, and Ui wants to protest, insist that's not how it was, because it's not, she kissed him, he loves her, but he can't. The words stick in his throat. Shame burns in his cheeks.

Melon Bun, I don't ever want to make you feel like this. Oh hell, now he's using Hairu's stupid nickname.

"What do you know about her family?" Father demands.

"I—" Ui stops himself. Because he doesn't know much. "Ghouls killed them when she was young."

Father snorts as if Ui's just confirmed that he's a lecherous fool. But he's not. He'll show them. He'll marry Hairu when she's ready, and they'll raise Mel—their kid—and give him or her the best they can. I'll prove myself. I may not have been terribly responsible here, but it's not ruined. Everything will be all right.

"We wanted so much more for you, Koori," his father says at last.

"Well, that could have gone better," Hairu proclaims when they leave.

"That's why I wanted to be the one to tell them," Ui says. But she insisted. And now shame embeds itself in his spine.

"Why were they asking about my family?" Hairu wonders, holding Ui's hand as they wait at the train stop. "Does it really matter?"

Ui shakes his head. "Not to me." He watches her kneel down and let a ladybug crawl over her hand. The bug lifts off and flies almost into her eye. Hairu yelps and then laughs. "What was your mother's name?"

Hairu frowns. She peers up at him. "I don't remember."

"You don't—remember?" Ui's jaw drops. He's right, isn't he? I'm an irresponsible, selfish—no, I'm not, I refuse to be!

She shakes her head. "I was too young. Same for my father. I don't think I ever met him."

"Were they—married?"

"I don't think so." Hairu frowns. "I think—she was a mistress of sort. So he might still be alive. I'm not sure."

"So when you said ghouls killed your parents—"

"My mother." Hairu straightens up. "I didn't know how you'd react." She worries her lip. "It wasn't—I mean—I—"

"Why didn't you just tell me the truth?" Ui demands. Arima knows, doesn't he?

"I didn't think it mattered!" Hairu gapes at him. "Why would I think it mattered? I don't know anything different. And now you're—"

Shit! "I wish you had told me not because it makes me think any differently of you, but because—because I would have wanted to—I just—" I want you to trust me.

I want to be worthy of your trust. A cool breeze shuffles around them. Ui shivers.

She stares up at him, mouth open in surprise. "It doesn't make you think any differently?"

"No. This isn't the middle ages."

Hairu snickers. She kicks a pebble and watches it skitter away.

"I love you."

The words come out before Ui can even think of them. Oh fuck.

Hairu spins around to gawp. "You—what?"

I have to say it again?

I get to?

"I love you," he repeats, face burning up. I do.

Hairu just looks stunned. A leaf blows past her head.

Is it really such a surprise? "I—"

Hairu reaches up and pulls his face towards hers, pressing her lips against his. She wraps her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest. Her shoulders shake. "Thank you," she ekes out.

She didn't say it back. But she's holding him, and their child's between them. Ui rests his head on hers.


No one's ever said that to her before. Hairu's quiet the entire train ride back, watching scenery fly by in a blur.

Koori loves me.

She looks at him, studying his jawline and his bowl cut. You want me to trust you.

My mother was a ghoul, Koori.

She can never say it. To protect him. To protect their child.

But she can trust him with other things. "I've never had anyone tell me that," she finally says.

Ui turns to stare at her. "Never?"

She shakes her head. "Parents died young—well, my mother did, remember? And I've never really—dated. You were the first one I ever—dated. Kissed, even." She never even thought of saying it to anyone else. Not anyone in the Garden. Not even Arima. She wanted his praise. Love was—not something she could fathom. "Definitely the first person I slept with."

Now his eyes bulge out. "Okay."

"How many people did you say it to?" Hairu inquires.

Now he turns red again.

"A lot?" Hairu tucks her legs under her and tilts her head to the side. "Did you have a whole string of girlfriends whose hearts you broke—"

"No!" Ui claps his hands to his cheeks. "No, Hairu, I—yes, I mean, I had—I dated—other girls but—I never said I loved them. My parents, yeah, but—"

"Oh." Hairu folds her legs up against her chest. She can't fold them up completely now without feeling that Melon Bun's starting to poke out.

"In the Sunlit Garden," Ui begins, and her pulse starts to pound. "Didn't you make friends?"

"Not really." Hairu leans her head against the window. The train rattles. "It was…" She doesn't know how to finish. It was. It just was. "Koori, I want Melon Bun to be loved. I want them to know it—I want to say it to them often. Every morning. And before they go to sleep. You and me, both telling her or him that." She thinks of all those dramas and comedies she's watched. She thinks of the Quinx, still reeling from Shirazu's death.

"It will be," Ui promises her. His voice softens. "The Garden sounds—lonely."

Hairu's breath catches in her throat. It had to be. Because we're all only half-human. Our humanity won out, but we're still afraid. We have to be afraid. And you can't be close to someone if you're afraid. "I had Arima."

"Hm?" Ui's voice tightens.

"He smiled at me," Hairu says. She pinches her fingers together. "Once. No one else did." He smiled at me, and that was the rope she clung to. She envisions it in her mind again. Arima, his hair blue back then, fixing her with a smile as he strode path. He was her hope then, even before she was told he should be her hope. He was her hope because hope should smile and he smiled.

Ui lowers his head. His hand rests on her shoulder. He asks her if she wants to get tea, and she agrees. Decaf, it'll have to be. They lace their hands together, and she smiles up at him. His eyes look lost.

"There's a shop nearby that Sasaki likes to go to," Ui says as he turns down a familiar street. "The Quinx go with him sometimes. It's called :re. I've been wanting to try it."

:re? Hairu sucks in her breath. Touka—Kanae—Tsukiyama—fuck, fuck fuck!

"Are you okay?" he asks. "We don't have to get tea—"

It's not like Touka will blow her cover. And hopefully if Sasaki visits often Touka will know to cover everything up so that it's not obvious she's a ghoul. "No. It's fine. We should go."

I have to lie to you again, Koori.

Touka's head snaps up the moment they enter the shop. The air's warm, but cooler than outside, and it smells of cinnamon and rich coffee and sugar. Touka's eyes widen as they take a seat. Hairu avoids her gaze.

"Hello," Touka says as she heads over. In the background, Hairu catches a glimpse of Nishiki, and Yomo. Geez. "May I take your order?"

She's pretending not to have familiarity. Hairu smiles at her, and Touka smiles back. "Our coworker comes here often," Hairu says. "Or so Koori tells me. Sasaki Haise, the investigator at the CCG—"

"I've seen him," Touka cuts in, glancing at Ui. "Though not lately." A note of sadness rings in her voice.

Neither have we. Sasaki seems as if he's letting Furuta rub off him, and there's no joy left. He barely congratulated her and Ui on Melon Bun.

Ui orders for them, asking for decaf for Hairu.

"We have decaf," Touka confirms.

"I'm pregnant," Hairu says, even though she knows Touka already knows. Ui winces.

A smile plays with Touka's lips. "Congratulations."

Something flutters inside her. I'm nervous, apparently. Totally wouldn't be because Serpent and Rabbit and Raven are standing behind the counter. Hairu turns to Ui. The sky outside bloats with gray clouds. "It's going to rain."

"Probably."

Butterflies again. Hairu shifts. "Can we watch a drama tonight?"

Ui smirks. "Sure. My brain can bleed out my ears."

"Hey!" She scowls and leans across the table. "I'll find one with horses in it. We have to teach our kid to ride, Koori, we have to."

"You liked it that much?"

"I loved it," she says. More butterflies. Hairu frowns. She reaches down.

"Are you okay?" he asks. Because of course he does.

"Um—" Again. Hairu shrieks. Ui leaps to his feet. Nishiki drops a pot behind the counter and swears. "Sorry!"

"Are you hurt?" Ui cries out.

"No!" She grabs his hand and puts it over her abdomen. "Feel it, Koori! Melon Bun's—moving! It's alive!" She hops up and down. "There it is again!"

Ui's face whitens. His hand's warm over her shirt. His mouth opens.

"See?" Hairu can barely stand still. She claps her hands.

Ui shakes his head. "I—I—"

"Congratulations again," says Touka from behind them, carrying a tray with their tea, and a small melon bun. "On the house."

"Thank you," Hairu says as Ui shakes his head again and again. The baby flutters. "I'm changing Melon Bun's nickname to butterfly because that's what it feels like."

"That sounds like a ghoul name," Touka comments.

Seriously? Hairu glares at her. "No ghoul would be named after something so beautiful."

"Melon Bun it stays," Ui mumbles.

"True," Touka acknowledges, and her voice sounds like a ghost's.


Furuta Nimura hates that bubbly pink princess, but damn if she can't provide the right kind of amusement.

Ui Koori nods at him as he passes and stands by the copier. Arima doesn't even look at Furuta. Not that that's terribly surprising. No one ever looks at him. And he doesn't want them to, not just yet. When it's time. He flexes his hands.

Hairu's laugh ripples through the air. Furuta scowls as he watches Shio press his hand against her stomach. "Melon Bun's awake!"

Sasaki smiles at Hairu, but he looks like shit otherwise. Poor unsuspecting fool.

"We felt it move for the first time over the weekend," Ui comments to Arima.

"Mm." Arima nods as if he couldn't care less.

You aren't hope itself. You're death.

"Arima-san!" Hairu calls as Rikai takes Hirako's hand and forces him to feel Hairu's stomach. Hirako laughs nervously. "Do you want to feel the baby move?"

"That's okay."

Akira flocks to Hairu, smiling. She looks to Shio and Yusa.

"No," Yusa warns.

"Yes!" Shio cheers, beelining for Arima. Rikai giggles and follows him. "Arima-san, Arima-san, you've got to!"

What am I watching? Furuta snickers as Arima, gray-faced, is dragged before Hairu. Furuta slides his gaze towards Ui, who watches with an impassive face. "She seems awfully eager to have Arima around her."

Ui stiffens. "All of you from the Garden are like that."

"I'm not."

"He's a hero to us all," Ui says forcefully, walking away from Furuta.

You really trust her, don't you? Furuta shakes his head. He's been there before. He trusted Rize.

And look what happened.

His fingers trace the area in his back where her rinkaku could surge out, kill them all.

Hairu glances past Arima, past Ui, and her eyes meet his. He smiles.

I know so much that could tear everything you have away. Arima, Ui, Hirako, Mado, even Sasaki and the five little kids flock her. And here comes Aura Kiyoko, excited and chattering, clapping Ui on the shoulder like knocking Ihei up is an accomplishment he should be proud of.

He stalks down the hallways and hears Matsuri's voice coming from a corner. Arguing with Yoshitoki. Of course. What do you have to argue about? They have each other. And for as much as Furuta looks like Yoshitoki aged down, they'll never acknowledge him.

They won't have the chance.


Ui frowns as Hairu laughs next to Arima. For once her laugh doesn't sound like bells charming him. He bites the inside of his cheeks, tasting blood.

"You all right?" asks a voice to his left. Ui whirls to see Yusa watching him. Hirako stands behind the kid, head tilted.

"I'm fine," Ui says, squeezing his fists.

"You don't look fine," chirps Shio, popping what looks like a popsicle in his mouth. Some pink liquid drips onto Ui's papers.

"Shio!"

"Oops." Shio dives away from Hirako's arm and races out of the room. Yusa moans. Hirako looks to Ui.

Ui shakes his head. He garbs some napkins and blots the papers. Hairu comes over to sit next to him, her fingers brushing his shoulders.

I love you.

You didn't say it to me.

But you're having my baby. You're wearing the hairpin I gave you in your hair.

I don't know what to believe.

If she doesn't love him, that's—fine. He just doesn't want the lies. Ui presses his knuckles against his brow. He should just ask her. About what she feels.

He can't. He's no Othello. There's another way.

"Go home," Ui tells Hairu at the end of the day. "I'll bring soup and melon buns home later."

"You sure?" Her eyes widen.

He nods, and Hairu leans down to kiss him.

Hirako leaves soon after Hairu, and Ui catches a glimpse of Furuta lingering late with Sasaki. Ui rises and heads to Arima's office, knocking on the door.

"Come in," calls the voice of the man he admires like no other. And yet, the man whom the very thought of now turns the remains of lunch into gravel in his stomach.

Ui enters. "Arima."

"Ui." Arima gestures. "Have a seat." He doesn't meet Ui's eyes.

Ui heaves himself into the chair and bites his lip. More blood, bitter this time. "Hairu told me some things. About the Garden."

Arima almost knocks his coffee over. He turns to stare at Ui, face paler than death.

"She said you smiled at her, and she—"

"I did?" Arima frowns. "I—don't remember. It's possible. I used to visit. To give motivation." His voice reeks like blood.

"Why does she trust you so much?" Ui asks. And not—me?

What's wrong with me? Why am I not enough? What do you have that I don't? No matter how hard I work, I'll never be you, Arima. Arima's hair is white. His is black. Arima is tall. He is not. Arima is so stern but Ui—he sees her.

"I'm not so sure she does," Arima says. He rises and turns away from Ui, looking outside at the rain dribbling down the window.

Ui swallows.

"The Garden is a place where—it made us who we are, and we're grateful," says Arima. He turns around. "Like all things in life, there are lots of things we don't want to remember either. It wasn't a scenario where we had loving parents. You and Ihei—you have the chance to give your child that, and, Koori, I think you two will be good parents. You love your child, and you're willing to fight for them."

Koori. Ui blinks. He nods.

"Since she joined us," Arima adds. "She's been like my little sister. I never had one." He draws in his breath. "But caring about anyone—in any way—in our job—it's a risk."

Sister. Ui lets out his breath. Calm down, Koori.


"I talked to Arima," Ui says when he gets home, dropping a bag of melon bread in front of Hairu. She squeals and tears into it.

"About what?" Hairu asks, voice muffled as she eats one. She holds the other out to him.

"You."

Hairu chokes, coughing. "Why?"

"I—" He hangs his head. "I—miss you."

Hairu slides over to him, knee jostling his. "How can you miss me? I'm back."

No, you're not. "There's so little I know about you, and we're having a kid together, and I—I want to—" I love you. I want to love you. Let me love you.

At the very least, know that I love you. Believe it.

He can't say any of it, but she lowers the melon bread and stares at her hands. "Koori…"

He reaches out for her face, and she shoves his hand away. Her eyes, glittering like emeralds, meet his. "There are things I haven't told you—about the Garden—about me—and I don't know when I can tell you, if I'll ever be able to—" She sucks in her breath. "I don't—I—" Her voice trembles.

"I'll wait," Ui promises her. "But—if I'm making you—" Trust me. Just trust me.

She grabs his chin and kisses him, digging her tongue in, almost desperate. She pulls back, forehead resting against his. "You love me."

He nods.

Hairu cries then, tears sliding down her face. "Even if I can't—tell you things yet?"

What can you possibly be hiding? Did someone hurt her? Fury stirs inside Ui. He nods.

"You know," Hairu says, wiping at her eyes. "I never pictured myself having a kid, Koori, but—I think you're going to be a great dad."

The next morning, when Ui wakes up five minutes before their alarm, it takes him a moment to realize what's different.

For the first time since they started sleeping together, Hairu's sleeping with her face turned towards his.


Up next: Furuta goads Hairu and Hairu makes a request of Ui.