It has been a long long time since I updated but this story still gets favorites and every now and then I get a review or message from someone asking me to finish it or post more. Since the last time I posted so much has happened. I started my own photography business which is doing very well and I started working 30 hours as a receptionist for a friend of mine who owns his own practice. I've been so busy that I haven't much thought about writing, drawing or anything I usually like to do :-O

So I decided to re-edit this and post because I make you wait long enough I think XD So sorry, but please enjoy. Every review I get is such a motivation even if it's been months and it keeps me wanting to write. Thank you!

-Luky

Chapter Eleven

Confessions

He'd been pissed off the whole morning but when he arrived home that afternoon being greeted by an empty house did nothing to soothe his anger. He didn't appreciate or need Seth's attempts to pick his brain especially since he'd had a hard enough night as it was, never mind this morning. He was tempted to go to his room and sleep for a little while before going in to see Ashley but for whatever reason he decided to go straight to her apartment. Whether it was temptation or need, whatever drove him to her door made him want to slap himself for being so brainless.

The hallway leading to the two doors at the end was long. They were the only two apartments on this floor and they occupied most of it- with huge expansive balconies that overlooked the water. He had admired it from a far, but he had no intention of ever going near the water again. He'd be happy if he never had to taste salt again for that matter.

Opening the door to her apartment, he expected to find her in there laughing or reading a magazine but the room was dark much to surprise. It didn't appear like anyone was home yet and a quick scan of the room showed that not much had moved since he saw it this morning. He sighed in relief, but didn't really feel it. That meant she and Seth had been late coming home from the doctor.

Seth couldn't be interested in Ashley- he had his own ghosts to chase no matter how much he tried to lecture Leon, he knew the truth about him and his feelings on woman. But he couldn't fault his friend for trying- there were just some things, some woman, you couldn't let go of. He knew how irrational it was that Seth would be interested in Ashley, but he couldn't help but feel the jealousy rearing its ugly head.

He crossed the room to sit on Ashley's bed. From here he could smell the distinct scent of her sheets. It smelled sweet, like warm citrus and watermelon. It was such a wonderful smell that he could almost taste it. Come to think of it, he hadn't really been able to smell much of her other than her sweat when they had been in Spain- and that alone had its own allure.

Without thinking he leaned back against the sheets, relishing in how soft the bed really was. It must have been something for her to sleep on those moss filled mattresses when she was accustomed to this. He hadn't slept on this kind of bed in his entire life. It was like floating on clouds and after only a few moments he began to feel drowsy.

Sitting up he tried to distract himself by walking around her room some more, examining everything he could. He stopped by her dresser. It was an antique, probably worth a fortune or passed down through her family. It seemed ancient but it had an elegantly carved mirror that attached to it- he could tell the rich material of the heavy oak was old and of great quality. What intrigued him were the pictures on the dresser.

Picking the nearest one up, it was an old, faded picture of what looked like Ashley and her mother. He could tell because one, he'd read everything there was to know about the family, and two, because she looked like a much older, like an exact replica of Ashley only slightly more mature features. Her hair was a little past her shoulder, like Ashley's was now. He thought the longer hair suited her better.

The woman in the picture looked so happy, smiling while Ashley, a kid, was draped over her shoulders with a huge smile spread across her face, missing her front tooth. He couldn't help by smile a little at the two- they seemed so happy. It was a day at the beach he could tell and even though the picture was in a frame, he could see the creases where it had been handled hundreds of times before being put away.

"That's my mom and me in the picture." he turned, not having realized that Ashley had walked in. She looked breathtakingly beautiful, in a crisp blue jean skirt that was form fitting, girly ruffles trimming the edges and a ¾ sleeve top that was squared off at the neckline showing off her ample bosom. On her neck she wore a chain necklace, sporting a flaming "4" on it. Not sure how to respond he just looked back at the picture.

She came up beside him and he could smell her perfume. There was no describing the scent as it lazily drifted over his senses, "I was 8. We had gone to the beach and it was a wonderful day. My mom didn't really like the sun but I wanted to go so bad- I threw a temper tantrum and made her take me. My father couldn't go because he was working and so my mom took the day off and spent it with me…" she trailed off, her eyes darkening with the memory. It seemed fond but he knew very well how the sunny story ended.

"We shouldn't have gone- if I had been a better daughter then my parents wouldn't have fought that night and my dad wouldn't have left. He loved my mom but they were having problems that I didn't understand at the time…" she trailed off, looking at the picture fondly. It was the only one of its kind- and she had scanned it, and saved it on several formats just in case she ever had her home burn down- or something terrible.

She had been surprised to see him in there but Seth had hinted at it a bit. Even though he was great at hiding how he really felt- she could tell the man had been troubled despite her having only known him for a day. Something about him or his personality just made her feel… warm… and comfortable with the man. Like he was a brother she had never had. When she was leaving the car he had told her that Leon was probably waiting for her and to "Go get him tiger.", which she had laughed at and closed the door.

Talking about her mother was hard for her and she never really did. It fed into her fears too much to come to terms with it, even though she had mostly been able to put the horrible memories aside. Her father had moved on, on with another woman, and she hadn't faulted him for it. He had been alone for almost ten years before he'd remarried, she wanted him to be happy and being in love with a ghost was painful.

Realizing she had stopped talking she looked up at Leon to see he had been staring at her. All she could think was about how Leon himself was still chasing ghosts and that it was time for him to move on too. She was filled with renewed hope that Seth had instilled in her. She'd been given this second chance to capture Leon's heart the way he'd ruthlessly obtained hers. She would do much the same, as best she could.

"Leon…" she found herself muttering his name, her feelings dripping in the word like glue. It was so evident how she felt- but how did he feel? Was this going to be harder then she thought?

"Do you want something to drink?" she heard herself asking as she backed away, reeling from the temptation to hug him again and trying to distract herself. She walked to her kitchen and started to pour him a drink as he followed her, sitting on one of the stools that were up against the island. He had to admit- if this was a home for entertaining, this little bar area would be a great place for people to just sit, eat and drink. But he wasn't really interested in that. His eyes had trained to the way Ashley was unscrewing the bottle the held in her hands. They way she gripped it sent his mind delving into inappropriate places and he tried in vain to look away.

"How was seeing the Doctor? Talk about anything important?" he asked, trying to make small talk to occupy the time. If he ignored the problem he might just be able to make it out of here without getting blue balls like he had the last night. Thinking about her in that way didn't help, and the short skirt didn't help either.

She poured the drink saying, "Not really. I have to see her everyday but we don't really talk too much about anything. She's more like a girlfriend because we mostly just talk about whatever." she lied. She didn't want to tell him that her nightmares had starting to increase- that they'd gotten worse and worse since she'd left the hospital. While he'd been in quarantine she'd been in the hospital with the help of sleeping medicine to keep her knocked out. Since she'd left she hadn't been prescribed any and the doctor hadn't even hinted at the aid.

It had been terrible for her, each night- waking up in utter fear- the same stench of vinegar and bleach infiltrating her nose until she could hardly breathe through the stench of it. On nights like that she simply clutched her puppy close to her chest and stepped onto the balcony- trying to breath in the salty smell of the sea to erase her bad memories…

'Memories…' she had wondered. Were they memories or were they something else? Was it just a nightmare of something that had happened to her? She could never remember anything about the dreams except for that smell but somehow she felt like the demons that plagued her sleep were nothing but her own. She and the doctor discussed that the best thing was for her to see her everyday- and to try and remember as much as she could so they could discuss what she remembered in their three hour sessions- but there was never anything to talk about except the fear and the smell. Other than that- it seemed more like girl chat… and of course, her newest way for working through her memories.

She smiled uncertainly and handing him the glass of water she watched as he gratefully downed it in several gulps. She couldn't help but smile a little, almost letting a giggle escape as he smacked the glass against the counter with a refreshed "ah". It was a Zephyrhills commercial in the making.

"Thirsty were you?" she said, tilting her head and peering up at him through her bangs. He gave her a short smile, unable to resist but immediately wiped it off his face as she let loose a giggle and filled it again. Taking it from her he didn't down it all at once, but sipped it.

Giving her a look he said moodily, "We get thirsty on duty. Remember, we don't get much time for ourselves." and the look her gave her said it was her fault for his lack of personal time. Well… if she had it her way- all his personal time would be spent with her- but not because of duty.

"All the more reason you should have dinner with me tonight- think of it practically, you'll be combining two activities together that will maximize time efficiency! What do you say?" she asked, goading him to accept her offer.

He'd read the logs from the doctor. Ashley had lost almost 20 lbs since she'd been last seen by a doctor before her kidnapping and had gotten a dependency on sleeping pills- largely due to the fact that they stuffed them down her throat every night. There wasn't much to the girl to begin with. He'd been informed to make sure she ate at least three times a day. Thinking back on it now, he wasn't her babysitter- he shouldn't be responsible for something like that.

"Yeah, sure." he said glumly and she yelped with joy causing the something to stir on the couch in the main room. Hearing the playful yip Ashley looked down to see her little puppy bounding towards her, full of joy and excitement, sporting a betula sandal in its jaws.

Laughing she leaned over, her hair catching in the air as she plucked the ball of fur off the ground and showed her off to Leon. Try as he might, he couldn't look at the dog, but saw instead the ample size of her breasts sticking out right next to it. She laughed scratching its face and taking the sandal out of its mouth.

"Momo, Leon. Leon, this is Momo. You guys can become good friends." she said to the dog and he briefly wondered if she hadn't stayed long enough with the mind doctor. Talking to pets? She didn't seem like the type. "She's a golden retriever puppy from a rescue shelter. I needed the company and she needed a home. I think we needed each other…!" she said into the dogs' face that promptly licked her, slathering spit all over her cheek and catching on her eye.

She laughed as she cuddled it. The dog was so happy to have attention that it kept lifting its paws as if to play with her hair. She laughed at his before setting her down on the floor. With a playful yip the dog belted off into the room chasing after a pink bunny slipper that was partially hidden under the bed. "She's going to be a great guard dog, don't you think?"

He watched her with the dog and felt a little burn of something he hadn't felt before. It was… something he couldn't name. Maybe it was affection- but the warmth spread as she continued to interact with the puppy. All sound was muted as he watched her talking to him, tilting her head and smiling, her beautiful face and expression enough to stop his heart but the only thing keeping it going.

"…and she's the smartest dog I've ever seen in my life. She fetches so many things and she learns so quickly!" she said, walking around the island to get to the side where Leon was sitting. He swiveled around in the chair until he saw Ashley plop the tail wagging puppy on the ground in front of her. It stood immediately and tried to jump, eagerly trying to get a lock of her hair in its mouth.

"Is it a girl?" he asked, not really caring but watching Ashley anyway.

"Yeah, they only had a girl so that's what I got. I feel like I've been ignoring her these past few days but she sleeps with me and loves to be with me no matter what. I think I won her over with her stomach…" she said laughing at pointing at the pink ceramic heart shaped dog bowls that were on the floor. He wanted to sigh at how gaudy and ugly they were but he found himself admiring them. For some reason, they suited both the owner and the dog.

"…after Seth had put bacon grease in her food who knows what she's going to do as far as a mess goes. I'll have to walk her today. She's been using puppy pads on the balcony but I don't like to clean that up- plus she can't stay cooped up in here with me forever…" she said, holding up one finger and watching as the dog sat instantly, "she needs to interact with all kinds of people in order to be friendly."

"She won't become much of a guard dog if you make her friendly- a golden retriever isn't much of a guardian if I recall…" he trailed off as her silken hair slid foreword, exposing the line of her neck and ear where a diamond stud was currently shining. Seeing that little tantalizing splay of flesh made his body react, not like he wasn't have a hard enough time as it was. Doing this daily was going to be hell.

"Nah… I wanted someone sweet. Plus nobody wanted this one anyway, she was snapping at the vet techs that were taking care of her. Apparently she's a wounded soul. I think we needed each other so I brought her home with me. Plus," she said, looking at him over her shoulder as she continued to play with the dog, "I didn't think I would ever be seeing you again. I didn't want to feel lonely."

Those eyes were so simple, but they were innocent yet fierce as they peered into him, as if to search out his darkest feelings and categorize them. She meant something with that look and he knew it. Without realizing he took the bait.

"Lonely?" he asked, regretting it as soon as he said it.

She stood and he couldn't help but admire the smooth curves of her legs. Legs that so easily could wrap around him and draw him in close- locking him against her- and clinging to him with all their strength. His eyes followed up and down her, and she obviously saw the look.

Nervously she bit her lip, her fingers falling to her skirt where she played with the ruffles. She was being insecure and she knew it- ignoring what her body was screaming at her- and ignoring her heart. Trying to sum up all her strength she took one hesitant yet purposeful step towards him, breathing deeply to remain in control.

She watched his eyes as they dropped to her chest and she fought the urge to cover them but knew that right now her strongest card was her body- he simply refused to acknowledge anything else except his physical reactions. Who knew what they did or didn't have in common? She had her own ghosts too- and Seth had motivated her. "Give him time", he had said, but she would give him all the time he needed with a little goading to go with it too.

He felt frozen to the spot as she stepped closer, but he stood, standing to his full height as she inched closer and closer. He groaned as her eyes started to tip up in order to see him- until she was looking at him from the tops of her eyes.

"Yes Leon… Lonely. Sure you can't say you've been satisfied with what's been happening since you got us out of Spain…" her voice soft and shy, so similar to her fearful whispers to him in the nights.

"That's for damn sure. Do you have any idea what you're doing, Ashley? This isn't a game." he said. The tension in the air was thick as she seemed to have a moment of weakness.

"I know that Leon… But I… I can't forget about you- and everything you've done. No dog is going to replace your part in my life…I can't forget Spain- I don't know if I ever will." he felt his throat constrict as she kept speaking. What the hell was she saying- what the hell had she and Seth been talking about.

"…And I know our past, however brief was wrought with all kinds of turmoil and fear- and I was a huge burden on you, I know all that. And I'm not a strong woman but I can be. I need your help Leon- I need your strength to help me stand up on my own- because if you don't want to be there for it, I'll have to learn how to help myself."

"Ashley… you know I'll always protect you, job or no job-" he was interrupted as she put her fingers on his lips, silencing him as her eyes watered. He didn't like this situation. When he was with her it was hard for him to ignore her.

"You can't always protect me Leon… and I know that. But for once, why don't you stop tormenting yourself. It's a job but that's all it is right now- let yourself go around me- I won't bite!" she said with a smile, trying to lighten the mood a little. She was floundering around in her words, trying to make it as short and sweet as possible- but she hardly knew if she even made sense. She wanted to thank him- to tell him how she felt.

Her hand traced from his lips as she leaned closer, her breasts inches away from his sturdy chest. His arms ached to reach out and press her against him, but he hesitated as she spoke again, "I never got the chance… to thank you for everything you did and still do. If it hadn't been for you Leon I would have died out there- I would have become some kind of monster that would have ended up hurting my new family- my country and everyone. Who knows, I may have ended up hurting you too even if we hadn't met."

"I know I'm just a girl, but I care about you Leon- I want you in my life as more then my protector." she stammered, her voice quaking as she dropped her hand from his chest, pressing it against her heart that was pounding furiously against her ribs. She took a step back, looking away as she spoke, her heart racing and desperately begging her to throw herself on him. But she couldn't. A strong woman would fight for what she wanted- if she wanted it badly enough.

Leon was speechless. She did care about him- sweet Jesus what was he going to do about this situation. He didn't know what to do so he just stood motionless and fighting the blush on his face that he knew for sure was trying to inch out there, little by little. Despite it, he knew damn well that a relationship between them just wouldn't work- not even casually. He couldn't get involved with another woman until he'd found out that Ada was either dead, or free from her job as a spy.

"I'm sorry Ashley. Things are obviously very complicated and I can't just let go of everything and fall into your arms like a teenage boy. We're adults; we have to act like it. Hormones can't be the only thing that draws us together. Those kinds of feelings don't last."

"Are you in love with that woman Leon, this Ada? Is she the ghost that haunts you?" she asked, her eyes shining with tears despite herself. He admired her ability to confront him like this, but he didn't appreciate it.

It never occurred to him whether or not Ada had found someone else- if she was simply fond of him at this point or even if she liked her job as a spy. Leon liked his job of being a bodyguard, but from somebody else's view- who in the hell would like to be running around after a complete stranger in the middle of Europe with a picture and handgun fighting mind controlled Spaniards? Doubtful anybody would say that person liked their job.

"…because if you're in love with the other woman then I'll just have to prove that I'm better for you. I know I am the one you want- I can see it when you look at me!" she said, desperation filling her voice as tears spilled from her eyes. "I know you care about me- I know it!" she cried as she threw herself against him, wrapping her arms around him.

Dear god he did. He liked the rush of being with her despite the hell it put him in. He liked saving Ashley- he'd been proud to say he'd gotten her back and they were heading home- he wouldn't take back any of those moments away from when he'd been with her. Her relief and each time she had thrown her arms around him, it had made his heart burn with relief. He'd grown feelings for her there but had tried to pass them off as something else- he tried but he could tell now that he had failed.

"Ashley… I've never…" he stopped collecting his thoughts as he pushed her away, looking her into her tear-filled questioning eyes. He breathed deeply before continuing, figuring he owed her some sort of explanation however vague, "I couldn't ever protect a woman. It's hard for a man like me to… accept that a woman can be saved when so many can't be…"

He looked down into her face. She had changed a lot that was for sure. She was more beautiful now then he would have thought possible. He definitely liked the hair longer- just to her shoulders with her original bangs grown out and new ones cut so that they danced along the curve of her eye instead of her forehead, hiding one half of her face away and showing the other.

"You see… that woman. I thought she died because of me and I haven't been able to let her face go. Even though we had a rough start of it, kind of like you and me, I let her go, and watched as she fell to her death. I can't help but think that if I had somehow pulled her up she wouldn't have fallen back into being a spy…" he said, his pain all too clear in his eyes.

"She was… a spy?" she asked softy, peering into his eyes.

She was leaned against him, her arms wrapped loosely around his hips. He reached up to grip her shoulders, wishing with all his being that he wasn't wearing gloves so he could feel her skin against his palms. He resisted, trying to control himself as he lifted one hand to her cheek, smoothing back her bangs and delighting in the feathery feel her hair had to it. It was perfect, like the rest of her. But he couldn't relish- he was trapped in his own memories for once.

"Yes… you see she'd infiltrated this medical community by getting into a relationship with a research assistant and using him, got inside of the facility. Her objective was to obtain a sample of a virus…" he paused, not wanting to tell her too much, "we… protected each other. Eventually I had the sample and she was going to shoot me to get it- but at the last moment she lowered her gun. Then she got shot and fell over the railing…"

She watched his eyes darken even as his hands stroking her were meant to be comforting- she knew he needed it more than her. She took a gamble and let her hands stroke the lower part of his back, a blush forming on her cheeks as she did so. Biting her lips she continued to listen to him talk- it was the first time he'd really said anything about himself and she didn't want to miss out.

'"And I can't forget about her. I used to dream about her and how lost she seemed. She didn't want to shoot me, I know that- and even though she was about to die, I knew her words were true- she wanted to escape Raccoon city to be with me. Amidst all that death we both wanted to live- whether it was for each other or not- we just wanted to live."

"That was six years ago. You were the first mission I accepted that had to do with protecting a woman. Up until now I couldn't fail another girl- I lost a bet to Seth and so I took the job of protecting you- and Seth was selected to protect your father. That's when I saw your picture and was sent to Spain to rescue you…" he trailed off, suddenly feeling her fingers tracing against his skin through the thin cotton. He felt a shudder pass over him at the touch and his insides began to burn.

"It was you, Ashley..." he spoke, his voice suddenly gruff and deep, "you picture was enough to give me a fear I had never known- the fear of failure. I knew how to be impartial but I wasn't prepared for you..." He remembered how she had deepened on him and how she had saved them both on several occasions. At first the lines had been so blurred between her and Ada that he couldn't separate them in his mind... but then she smiled at him.

Covered in dirt and grime and dried blood. She smiled and he realized then that the two women were so frighteningly different that he had been a fool not to notice. The fear then of losing another woman was tenfold and he genuinely feared for her life. That fear made him pull away-to not return her embrace and bury his feelings beneath his composed exterior. But that smile... those lips...

'Lips…' he thought, his mind going blank as his eyes dropped to her lips remembering their silky feel the first time he had pressed them to his own in her sleep… 'Just one kiss that will only last a second…'he knew he shouldn't be doing this. But he had such a stressful day and it was the only thing he wanted. The only thing he needed- if only to assure himself that they were different. If only to let go for just a moment.

She felt her heart flutter against her chest as his grip tightened on her shoulders as he pulled her closer, a little roughly and lowered his face down to hers. She was paralyzed against him, her heart beating so fast she thought it might burst from her chest. When his lips were so close to hers she felt his breath wash over her face and her lips parted, wanting him to kiss her- wanting him to show her what he was thinking- what he was feeling. Wanting with all her heart for him to feel Ashley and no one else.

Her eyelashes fluttered closed as his mouth took hers. It was desperate and filled with need both of them felt in each other. The urge to claw her hands free and touch his skin, to feel his muscular chest with her hands was so strong that she actually starting to shake as he pulled her deeper into the kiss.

He heard her moan as his tongue pushed between her lips, making her weak against him and opening up to him as she hadn't before. 'Ashley...' he thought as the sound made the animal in him growl in satisfaction. His tongue probed further, slanting his mouth over hers until he couldn't take it any longer, he needed more. Just a little more.

Turning them around, he picked her up and set her on the counter. Her hands free, she easily snaked them around his neck as he wrapped his arms around her waist and quickly jerked her against him- so close that she could feel his obviously rampant desire smashed between her legs. She was dizzy with how quickly he'd moved her- how fast they'd changed positions- at the blatant feel of him against her. She was moaning against his lips as he continued to kiss her and she felt one hand reaching over to touch her.

He pulled her tightly against him as he slid one hand underneath her blouse. Just a little bit more. Just a little bit.

She froze slightly, shame and nervousness flushing her skin before arching against the touch of him. She wanted this- it seemed that she always had. She wanted the feel of his touch against her the physical confirmation of all those weeks of misery and tension. The desire to experience and to explorer burst inside her like butterflies and she moaned again letting her head fall back as she shyly accepted all that he was offering.

His hands traced along the smoothness of her skin and she shuddered with pleasure as the rough texture of his glove scraped against her fevered flesh. Liquid fire pooled between her legs as she felt his fingertips touch the lacy bra she had put on. She longed for him to reach under it and to touch her as she bucked her hips against him, unable to control the strength of his body calling to hers, barely able to feel shame over something that felt so carnal and instinctually right.

He couldn't stand it. He couldn't stop himself. He needed this too much- far too much. Breaking the kiss he roughly let go of her and pushing up her skirt to reveal her white underwear, reached for his pants, his eyes feral and filled with lust as he gazed down at her. Her swollen lips were moist and her eyes were glazed with desire. She seemed so small, so innocent yet he couldn't stop himself. He needed more. His hand reached for the zipper at his pants and suddenly a load, jarring noise halted his movements as her phone began to ring.

They froze.

Ashley felt horror flood her skin as reality reached up and slapped her in the face. Leon's face was covered mostly by his hair and he was breathing raggedly. She jumped from the counter, trying to stop the furious beating of her heart as she reached for her phone and answered it.

"Hey Daddy…" she answered, looking back at Leon who was swiping at his head while she pulled her skirt back over her hips. She was flushed and she spoke with him for a moment, telling him she had the doctor on the other end and she would call him back after she was done talking to her. He watched her lie easily and kind of admired her. Something about that kiss had awakened a lust filled beast in him and he wasn't sure how to control it- or if he even could.

Closing the phone with her back to him she sighed and turned around looking him straight in the eye. She hated to lie to her father but she was so happy she couldn't contain herself- she needed to appear strong this time. She needed the strength to look at him as she was now, and not back down. It was so hard not to crumble with the darkness of his gaze- but she knew he was simply confused, and aroused- as she was.

"I guess I had better pick up dinner on my own then…" and started to walk towards the door. She couldn't help the smile that spread on her face as he passed her, feeling elated at their moment and still feeling his lips crushing against hers with passion she hadn't even known existed. She turned to him as he stopped at the door- her hair arcing around her body with her energetic turn.

"Does this mean that you've changed your mind about me, Leon?" she asked her voice shaky but filled with renewed hope that was validated by his kiss. Validated? Not even close to describing how that had made her feel…

"I don't know what it means." he said, his voice trembling as he refused to face her- he just couldn't right now. He couldn't do that or he knew he'd end up in bed with her and she might regret it. He might regret it.

"Goodnight, Ashley."

And then, he was gone.

How fun. Some people hate Ada but what fun is it if there is nothing to grow from? I hope you liked this. Who knows when I will post next but I would really appreciate the thoughts and everything on it in the form of reviews!

Review!