Well, I started this story 5 years ago… And at the time, I thought I would have finished it by now… but, here I am, 4 years after the last update… and I feel so shitty about myself. I have had a rough few years, getting into college, becoming extremely depressed and anxious. Worrying about my mental health so much has drawn me away from this story. I had completely lost my inspiration. However, tonight, I had a fleeting thought about this story, and decided to read what I have written so far, and I must say, I've missed this story. I know this isn't much of an explanation about where I've been all these years, but… I must say, that I'm truly sorry that my mental health has forbidden me from writing…
I'll stop babbling now, and I will present to you, finally, chapter 11 of Fearing Love.
Disclaimer: I do not own Jonathan Crane, the Joker, or any other Batman characters that may be used throughout this story.
The Plan
Jonathan's POV
My knuckles turned a sickly white as I gripped onto the steering wheel as tightly as I could, speeding down the busy streets of Gotham. At this point, I didn't care if I got pulled over by the cops. There was only one thing on my mind, and that was to get Angela back in my captivity. As I swerved throughout the traffic, I swiftly missed each car that was in my way. My face was flushed with the blood that was circulating through my body. My heart was pumping, my head was thumping.
The menacing voice appeared in my head…
"Johnny-boy.. If I didn't know better, I'd say that there was another reason why you want Angela back so badly… I've never seen you so dedicated to a test subject before." He said, the sounds of his thundering chuckles echoing.
My eyes narrowed as I scoffed. "No, Scarecrow. No. I am merely interested in getting her back because of the way she reacted to my fear toxin. It had almost no effect on her at all. It's a very fascinating component to my research. I'd like to see more of it."
"Whatever you say, Johnny. However, you always tend to forget that I live inside your head. I've seen everything in your imagination. I've heard every single thought that pops into your mind. The only reason why you're lying to me, is because you're lying to yourself. However, the reason why I'm bringing this to your attention, is because these thoughts of her can get in the way. It's going to distract you, like it is now."
I banged my hand against the steering wheel out of frustration…"I will NOT let anything get in my way of my research!" I exclaimed, flooring the gas pedal as I approached the end of the traffic. "Not Angela… and especially that idiotic circus freak!"
"There will always be another Angela. Let the clown take care of her. She means nothing to you, now. She was merely another experiment that went awry," Scarecrow said matter-of-factly.
"No." I said back instantaneously, "There will never be another Angela."
Angela's POV
My stomach growled for the hundredth time, making me gag, but there was nothing for me to throw up but my burning stomach acid. However, I dared not to ask the Joker for any food, because of my fear of what he might bring back for me to eat, as one of his sick 'jokes'. So, I sat quietly on the bed, leaning my unnourished body against the headboard, with my knees closed tightly against my chest, my arms hugging my knees. I closed my eyes, pretending it was my mother that I was hugging.
I then heard a soft knock at the door, with the door knob turning immediately afterwards. I shifted myself further away, if at all possible, fearing who might be on the other side. With a sigh of relief, I relaxed when I saw it was Jake, holding out a small plate and a mug.
"Jake!" I squealed, jumping off the bed. "You scared me! I thought you were the Joker!"
"Shh!" He whispered. "I'm not supposed to be in here…" He slowly handed me the plate and mug, giving me a small grin. "I thought you may be hungry… so I whipped you up some lunch."
"Oh, thank you, Jake…" I quickly snatched the two items out of his grasp, and quickly began to chow down. "I thought I was going to die of starvation. I don't think I've eaten in over a week…" As I chewed the last couple of bites, the color had come back in my cheeks, making my brother grin with glee.
"I'm glad to see you're feeling better… " He said, wrapping his arm around my shoulders, holding me close to him. He gave me a kiss on the top of my head before letting me go. I swiftly met his gaze, with a worrisome look.
"Why are you here?" I finally asked.
He quickly turned his back towards me, walking towards the foot of the bed. He gently put his hand in his front pockets, took in a deep breath and sighed it out. After a few moments, he turned around to meet my eyes once more, with a guilty look on his long, weary face. "I can't tell you… you're not ready to hear the truth."
My face turned into a scowl as I stomped closer to him. "What do you mean 'I'm not ready'?" I said, doing the quotation sign with my fingers in the air. "I've been through hell and back this past week… don't you think I deserve at least an explanation on why you're here?!" I hissed quietly, trying to not let anyone outside the room hear me.
Jake murmured under his breath, looking at me with concerned eyes. "I.. can't tell you, Angie… I made a promise."
"To who, that ticking time bomb of a circus act?!" I exclaimed in a low voice. "I cannot believe that you're working for him… I never would have imagined you doing anything of the sort."
"If I tell you, he'll kill me," He said with his broken up voice.
I looked up into his hazel orbs, my eyes swelling from holding back my tears, and began to speak in an undertone. "...I'll just have to find out for myself, I guess. That way, we'll both get what we want, and nobody, hopefully, gets killed." I should have thought back at what sort of trouble my curiosity had led me into, but at that point, I was too focused on getting information, that I was willing do to whatever it took.
Jake looked swiftly into my eyes, until the corners of his lips curled into an amused grin. My brows furrowed in confusion. "You haven't changed a bit, Angie." His expression quickly changed as he reached his arms out to pull me close to him, holding me tightly as if it were the last time. "I love you… I never stopped thinking about you."
A single tear fell down my cheek, landing softly on his shirt. I could not think of any other words to say, but I figured leaving it off in silence would be for the best. He knew exactly what I was thinking. There was nothing else he could do but watch from the sidelines, and pray to whatever higher being is out there that I wouldn't fuck this up.
When Jake closed the door behind him after he stepped back out, I immediately threw my hands on my face in frustration and...fear.
I was hating myself, for I did not have my father's lucky dog tag with me. I paced the floor, desperately trying to come up with a scheme, but nothing was coming to mind. Then… it came to me. "I can pretend to be interested in participating in one of his heists… That way I can be in public, and I could just bolt from there, and hope I won't be shot… " I started to nod my head slowly, agreeing with myself. "This could work… Yeah." I grinned, as I headed back to the bed, comfortably, for the first time, settling into the blankets.
I had woken up the next morning, at least I thought it was, because I didn't have a window to see out to the outside world, with a freshness that I hadn't felt in what seemed like centuries. I felt pretty confident in my plan to escape. There had been no sign that the Joker had snuck into the room while I was sleeping, and I was rushed with feelings of relief. The last thing I needed was to be killed in my sleep.
I then heard the doorknob turn, and dim, menacing voices from the outside. I couldn't make out what they were saying.
When I saw the door creek open, I instantaneously covered my head with the blankets and proceeded to pretend that I was still asleep.
I soon heard the door clink shut, and I heard soft footsteps heading towards the foot of my bed. Then, I heard the grumbling sounds of a chuckle coming from the voice. I immediately knew who it was.
I gave myself an internal pep talk, and I slowly peeped out from under the covers, revealing the Joker's grim smile. "Well, hello there sleepy head." He said, with a slight, high pitched giggle. "It's tiiiiiime…" He proceeded to rip the covered from me, "To wake up!" His voice grew darker, yanking my arm to force me out of the bed. I looked up at him with the most convincing calm look I could muster up, pretending that it didn't bother me that he almost ripped my arm off. "Good morning," I said with a soft voice.
He looked down at me with a questioning look, and he burst out into a high pitched cackle, showing his perfectly awful dental features. "You are one tough cookie!" He said, patting my cheek several times with a harsh force.
I force out a persuading smile, dissimulating my true feelings as best as I could. "I taught myself how to be tough ever since my father died."
His eyes shifted all around the room, and then met my gaze once more. He giggled. "Father issues, huh? I know how that is… That's how I got these." He said while pointing at his gruesome scars.
"That's… awful." I said, trying to play to his emotions, if this guy had any left besides rage.
He shrugged his shoulders so high they were touching his ears, "I should be thanking him! Now I'm always smiling! And soon… you will be too!" He said, huffing out another shrieking laugh.
I swallowed, and smiled back at him. "Well… do you know what would make me really smile?" I said, sort of nudging his arm in a playful manner. It was so surreal to me that I was actually trying to make friends with this monster, but it was the only thing I could think of to escape his grasp.
"And what would that be, my little sweet-tah?" He said immediately.
"W-Well…" I started out with a nervous stutter. "I-I was thinking…since Jake is here with you, and I haven't seen him in such a long time, that I could… possibly work beside him… for you?"
He let out another of his ear piercing cackles. Did he ever stop laughing?
"Well... Of course!" He said with his arms wide open. "Welcome to the family!" He emphasized the last word in such a strange way, it sent shivers down my spine. My mind was firing with so many second thoughts about this preposterous plan of mine. Why did he agree with this idea of mine so quickly?
"Well," He shoved the pair of handcuffs that he had been hiding behind his back, "I guess I don't need these anymore." He scoffed. "You just ruined the fun for me, Ange… But, you know what? The fun is just.. getting..started." He said as he took my arm forcefully and led me down the hallway to the common room of the Joker's base. I scanned the unfamiliar room, filled with what an office breakroom would have. A flatscreen tv, permanently showing the news so the Joker can keep up with everything in the city, whether it be about him or not. Vending machines, a fridge that was undoubtedly filled with shitty beer.
"Now, everyone, can I please have your attention?" He said, pulling on my arm and shoved me into the center of the room. "This… Is Angela. She will be with us for a while. Please make her feel… at home." He whispered in a sinister manner as he shoved me towards Jake. He then turned away and left me be, like he was abandoning a helpless puppy.
Once the Joker walked out of the room, Jake looked over at me with wide set eyes "Wh-what? H-how are you out here?"
I swiftly shifted my head to the left, and then slowly to the right, and then right back to Jake.
"… I need your help." I said softly. "There has never been anything more important in your life than what I'm about to ask you to do."
He looked up, his brows hiding his eyes from scowling, "What are you talking about?" He scrunched up his face. "Whatever you're planning on doing… Don't. You'll get yourself killed. These people are trained to sniff out traitors. Especially...him. He might be crazy insane, but he's very intelligent."
I rolled my eyes. "Well, if I die trying, I guess I'll die trying." I bit my down on my lower lip, and with a twinkle in my eye, I explained to him what I was planning on doing. How I was going to escape.
Jake shook his head, looking down at the floor trying to soak in what I had just explained to him. "You know… You might be even crazier than the Joker." He said, chuckling lightly. "However… It might just work. I will help you." He said, with a soft smile painted across his face. "You don't belong here… And I will do everything in my power to help you out."
I quickly wrapped my arms around his neck, and kissed him on the cheek. He rubbed my forearm lovingly, and met my eyes. The smile that was present on my face soon turned into a frown, and I slowly reached down to grab his hands, and gripped onto them tightly.
"Come with me." I said, my eyes dancing in the reflecting fluorescent lights, filled with hope that I had finally mustered up. "Please. You don't belong here either…"
He rubbed the back of my hands softly with his thumbs, looking down at them as he did so. He soon began to speak up again, but did not meet my gaze that time. "I'll try my best to help you… But I can make no promises." He said with a crack in his voice. He bent his head down to kiss the back of my hand, and I felt a single tear softly land on my fingers.
