"Thank you so much!" I told Mr. Swan, pulling Justice into my arms. She barked and licked my face, obviously glad I was with her. Charlie looked around, then spotted Bella and Edward. They were whispering about my transformation of moods. What did they expect from me? Plus, I wasn't the only one who changed. Justice's coat had gotten lighter. It was almost all gray now! "Uh…yeah. Well, glad I could help," He said, still looking at Bella. "I'm just going to miss her." He added with a sad tone. Justice barked. I can't speak 'dog', but I sure can try. "What's that?" I asked her, dangling her in the air. I don't know why, but I was listening to her tummy. "Uh, huh." I said, not really noticing that everyone was looking at me with a funny expression. "Uh, huh. Yeah." Justice whined again, and I put her on the floor. She quickly ran over to Charlie, and rubbed on his leg. Alice said, "Awww…" "What's going on here?" Bella asked, walking up behind me. I shook my head, staring at Justice and Charlie. "She likes you." I whispered, not really surprised.
"Huh?" Charlie asked. I looked at him in the eye. "She really wants to be with you, here." I said. He looked down at her, and smiled. "You can keep her. She deserves more with you right now. I just can't keep her." I said with a wave of my hand, trying to explain and trying not to reveal too much.
It wasn't that I couldn't control myself, but with my plan… It was easy, really. Once you get over the burn in your throat then you were okay. It's just the cramps. The cramps that knot your stomach when you refuse to feed. I scowled, thinking of the thought, but then smiled again.
"She can stay." I repeated. Charlie looked at me. "Thank you." He said, picking her up. "I'll take good care of her. I promise." He said. I nodded, and backed away a little, as he retreated into his home, Bella following him in. She gave me a smile, and nodded to Alice before walking in. She stopped in front of us, before closing the door.
"At least he won't be alone." She said, and closed the door. I stood in the same spot, still staring at the door. Justice, I thought numbly. Alice watched me, and then patted my shoulder,
"Let's go home." She said, pulling on my arm. "We'll worry about Italy later." I was about to say something when Edward interrupted me."We won't!" I heard Edward snarl. I turned to him, outraged. "What do you mean 'we won't?' I asked. Edward was as shocked as Alice was with my response. "So your saying you just gave your dog away, so you could go die in Italy?" He yelled, but made sure that we were the only ones to hear. "Yes." I responded, glaring at him, nodding my head. "I wasn't going to leave poor Justice alone." He stood up right, now growling. Alice stepped in between us, a worried expression on her face. "Calm down," She said, waving her hands. "We'll sort this out in the morning." She said. Edward stomped his foot. I stared at it, surprised.
"Did you just seriously stomp your foot?" I asked with a grin. Edward ignored me. "I will not just sit by and let you get killed." He said, walking up to me, until he was towering over me. I hated for him to be so close to me. And why was it there were so many tall people in this world? I lifted my head slightly intil I looked dead into his eyes. "No one said you had to sit by. Just don't stop me." I whispered. He growled. "We're just going to stop you again…like last time." He said. I smirked and backed away. "That was when I was pathetic as you can get." I said. "Try to stop me now." He glared, this time Alice was looking at me with a sad expression. They reminded me of a memory… Mom? Dad? I snapped to reality and shook my head as walked past him. "You're just getting in my way." I said over my shoulder as Alice appeared beside me.
She opened the door to Edward's Volvo. "Please don't do this to us." She said as she pushed me in, closing the door behind me, then appearing in the front passenger seat. I was about to respond when Edward opened the driver's door. "We care about you." He said, before staring up the engine. I didn't want to face their guilt trip. I snorted and looked out of the window. "Why?" I muttered. "All I did was ruin it all. If I didn't come here, Jacob," his name made feel me uncomfortable, "wouldn't have gone to your school. You wouldn't have met me and you would have continued with your vampire lives, without knowing this very pessimistic girl." I looked at them. "Why do you care? You could have killed me that first time… the time I would have stabbed myself. It wouldn't have killed me, and you know it. But something told me at least one of you wouldn't be able to resist. That would have killed me." I sighed. "Why?"
Alice and Edward looked at each other for a long time before anyone said anything. Alice turned and looked at me, smiling softly. "Why don't you see how you changed it all? It was almost the same thing, Bella and the rest of us, everyday. Then you came." I looked to her face, sneering. "Go find yourselves a fucking party clown then." She sighed. "Believe it or not, you made our lives more enjoyable…other than the threats and such. You became one of us, in that way. An extension of family, if you will. We care about you because of that. We all know what you have said in the past, but with me, all you can do is look forward into the future." She looked forward. "Please." Alice pleaded.
I sighed. "Well, I'm not going to California, and I'm definitely not going back to La Push." I muttered, bringing them back to the original topic. "What happened at La Push?" Edward asked as he drove. "Nothing that needs to be repeated." I snapped. Alice and Edward exchanged glances, knowing something was wrong. "As I said, we'll talk about it tomorrow morning." She chirped. I sighed and put my head in my hands. This was going to be a long night.
. . .
"Just leave me alone." I yelled as Alice followed me up the stairs. Alice huffed and stopped on the top step.
"Why won't you tell me?" She asked. I rolled my eyes, and walked into the kitchen, looking for an green apple. "Greenie, greenie." I mumbled. "Ha!" I looked back to Alice. "Don't worry about it," I said, grabbing it. Alice looked at me strangely. "Unlike you people, I can stand eating some human foods...well only fruits but that doesn't matter!" I yelled, storming past her. Edward had just walked up the steps followed by Jasper. They both gave me weird looks, "It's just an apple!" I yelled, walking down the hallway.
All three followed me, and I could hear Alice telling her partner about what happened. Jasper suddenly appeared in front of me, blocking my way into my room. I sighed, holding the apple to my mouth. I bit the apple, and Jasper made a disgusted face. I smirked. "Move, Jasper." I ordered, mouth full of apple goodness. Jasper stared into my eyes and didn't move. I groaned, and turned behind me. "Tell him to move, Alice." I said. Alice just smiled. "Once you tell us what went on." I sighed, this time pissed off. "It doesn't really matter anymore." I growled, trying to push past Jasper. "Stop it." I said. Jasper just smirked, and suddenly the room got very warm and I felt that same disturbing feeling from before. I wanted to scream at them to leave me alone, but I got a better idea. One that would amuse me even more. I threw the green apple at Jasper's face and he quickly moved to dodge it, giving my clearence to my room. The feeling stopped and I sighed in relief. He looked at the poor little apple in disgtst as it rolled away. I took advantage of the situation and walked into my room. Jasper watched me as I slammed the door to the rest of the world. "FUCK OFF!" I screamed as I walked to the window.
I stood, fuming, looking out the window when I realized something. I didn't have my green apple anymore. I clenched my fists. Blondie would pay…
. . .
I stayed in the room all night, staring at the moon, as I thought about the damned situation I had put myself in. When the sky got clear, turning into the usual light gray, I quickly dressed into the usual: black and white striped shirt, jeans, a black jacket, and a pair of black leather boots. I was about to walk out of the room when I saw the guitar pieces. I sighed. I needed to call that Justin Black to get my stuff back. I quickly gathered the pieces into another backpack and put it on my shoulders. I was going to find a guitar shop if it was the last thing I did. I walked out and then Alice came out of nowhere and jumped on me, hugging me. I grimanced, surprised, as I believe she was apologizing to me. I stared until I gt what she was saying. And people call me slow… ha! I accepted her apology and walked down the stairs.
She followed me. "Where you going?" She asked, as I reached the door. I pulled it open, and put on some sun-glasses. "To shop." I said, instantly regretting it. Rosalie appeared in a flash, and scolded me on my outfit, and persuaded herself and Alice to come and help. I let them come, but that was a very big mistake. Not because they were shopaholics, but because Bella was there with Jacob. They didn't see me, but I knew Jacob could smell me, because he kept wiping his nose, scrunching it up often.
I stared until I couldn't take it anymore. I walked up to him. He looked at me surprise, Bella more. "Hey, Nyx" She said, but I ignored her. "I wouldn't talk to you even if it was to fucking save the only thing I like in this world," I growled at Jacob, patting the backpack with the guitar pieces, "but I need you to help me." He was about to say something when I cut him off. "I left my shit with some cousin of yours, Justin Black. I need them because… well, that's not really important. I know you have to hate my guts and so, but at least me get my crap back, and I swear on my black soul I will never ask you for a favor back again. Or I will kill someone you love." He looked surprised, and then glared. Bella just stared, paled when she realized who I was talking about. I glared back, making sure every bit of hatred was in that look. He backed off. "Swear?" He asked. I nodded. He sighed. "I'll see what I can do." "I'd hug you, but my inner self would probably tear you to bits if it knew how close I was and didn't kill you."I said with a smile and walked back to Alice and Rosalie.
We walked to the other side of the store, Alice looking at me strangely. "What is so important about a few clothes and an old guitar case? We could buy you another one if it's that important..." I whipped around. "It's not the items themselves, but what's inside of them. I left the most valuable things to me in those things, after my guitar. I want them back." I shrugged. 'Plus, it's been with me for over ten years. The least I can do is stick with them." Alice nodded. "Sure." She said.
She then smiled and then grabbed my hand, making me go further into the store. Rosalie was more into the designer purses, and jeans, while Alice were looking for cute accessories. I just stood, akwardly to the side, watching them grab stuff. I wasn't really into shopping. I only ever shopped for clothes when a shirt or jean got too worn out. "Hey." I could hear Bella trying to start a conversation with Rosalie from over here. I mentally laughed, and left Alice at the rack, telling her I was going to look for some earrings. She nodded, and continued to study the hats. I looked up to see Jacob watching me. He had done this throughout the store a lot of times, and every time I looked at him he'd turn the other way or glare. I sighed, the pain in my heart softening. It's not like I would kill Bella that badly…
I made my way through all of the racks, and finally made it to where the jewelry was. I looked down through the glass and pointed to some beautiful rings, although I was supposed to be looking for earrings. I smiled softly. This reminded me of something…I slid to the left, feeling a presence slip beside me. I didn't bother looking up. I just continued to glance at the earrings, when I finally picked a pair out. Two wicked little knives with smiley faces stared at me as I told the girl behind the counter I wanted them. The young girl, mid-teens, gave me the earrings, and I gave her the money. I stuffed the bag into my backpack and put it back on.
The person beside me growled. "I'm not really ignoring you, Edward. Am I?" I said with a smile. Edward rolled his eyes at me, and I just smirked. Edward didn't look too happy, especially since his wife-to-be was spending her dandy little time with his enemy. I laughed again at the thought of Edward glaring at them through clothing racks. The man in the clothes, I thought with amusement. Very stalker-ish…"She decides to bring the dog into a store." He grumbled, following me around the shoe racks. I shrugged.
"That dog is her friend, and she needs to spend as much time with him as possible, before you know what." I said. Edward looked at the ceiling, shoving his hands in his pocket.
"I don't want to change her." He muttered. I looked up at him.
"I know, but that's the only way you can be together, and at least she isn't being hunted down by the Volturi." I said with a shrug. Edward smirked at my joke.
"Thanks." he said. I nodded, looking back at the two revolving doors. A few more steps and I could be free of this horror of horrors. " Edward, you ready?" Bella came up. Jacob stayed at the door, watching me. I looked away from him to Bella.
"Your dad enjoying the dog?" I asked. Bella laughed.
"You should see him running around, treating her like a child. He's already talking about getting another one." She said. I chuckled, "He won't be lonely. I'll check on him every so often." I said. Bella smiled. She said "Thank you." and took Edward's hand, leading him out of the store. I watched Jacob walk back with Bella and Edward. I would never forgive him, I thought.
We walked out of the store soon after that, Alice and Rosalie loaded down with bags. "Let's go home." Alice said with a smile. "I got many things to try on you, Nyx." I groaned. "Hey!" Someone said suddenly. I turned to see Bailey. I smiled. "Hey, Bailey." She waved at Alice and Rosalie. I turned to them. "You mind if I hang with Bailey for a while?" They shook their heads. "See you, later!" Alice said and they left. I turned and smiled. "Wanna get a slushie?"
. . .
I laughed, almost spitting out my Cherry slushie. I coughed as I covered my mouth. "That was hilarious!" I said after I swallowed. "Yeah, I just we had taken a picture of it when it had happened." Bailey said with a smile. I nodded and slurped. That accident had been so funny… so many people with red splotchy clothing are probably damning me right now. I looked up to the gray sky. Don't listen to them, will you? I thought. Suddenly, there was a huge puddle and I ran to it, landing in it with a big splash. I laughed to myself and walked back to the sidewalk. We were walking to Bailey's house, since the mall was really close to her home.
I smiled as we walked by a patch of flowers. I crouched before them. "You know what kind of flowers these are?" I asked. Bailey shook her head. "Forget-me-nots." I whispered as I plucked a stem of one. "Makes you really want to remember it all, doesn't it?" I whispered. I handed it to Bailey. "Not much, but…" I said with a shrug. She accepted it with a shrug too. "Here." And then she put it behind her ear. "You look pretty." I said with a smile. She really did. She looked away. "Thanks." She muttered. "Bailey?" I asked after we walked more. "Would you forget me?" She stared. "I don't want to forget, anything." She said. I nodded and then drank more slushie. "But if you couldn't help it, and I don't ever talk to you again, would you forget me?" She was about to say something when someone suddenly said," Hey!" A guy came and put his arm sround Bailey's shoulders. I cocked my head. "Hello, male stranger." I said. "Nyx, Colton. Colton, Nyx." Bailey said. Colton gave a wave. Blond-ish hair, and I couldn't tell what color his eyes were. I noticed that they looked good together. Maybe they wanted me to leave? I nodded to myself. That's it. No one ever wants me to be around, anyway…
I nodded again and then started to back away, a strange smile on my face. "I guess I'll leave you guys be, then? I'll see you, Bailey." Before she could respond, I had already run away, the joy of a cherry slushie forgetton. Damn forgetfulness...
. . .
I walked into my room, the empty slushie cup crushed in my fist. I dropped it into the trash and walked to the bed. I put the backpack on it and then cursed myself. I had forgotten to find a guitar shop. How long was I going to put this off? I sighed.
I took out the earrings of the backpack, putting them on, and then I put the backpack under the bed, somewhere I hoped no one would find it. I walked back downstairs to see a glaring Rosalie and an annoyed-looking pixie. "Tell us what happened!" Alice said. I sighed. Goddammit…
. . .
"That's what happened?" Alice yelled, after I told her and Rosalie my story. I nodded, with a shrug. It doesn't hurt as much as before, I thought. I reminded them that they made a promise not to tell. Rosalie just shook her head. "Edward's just going to read our mind, so it doesn't really matter." I sighed, forgetting all about Edward's power.
I know I wasn't going to tell, but when I saw Jacob at the store my heart had stopped, and my stomach began churning. I had been so angry at him, but I had tried to let it go. I wanted him to tell me he was just kidding but he didn't. I really needed someone to talk to, and since Bella and Edward were getting married I didn't know who. I sighed. Fucking wedding bells.
I would never step up to Emmet, for god knows what will happen to Rosalie if she tries to confront me about it and say I was flirting or some other shit that happenes these days. Jasper and Alice were always together, except when we went shopping. I shuddered. Don't think that, don't think that…
I sighed. I was so lonely, and now I regretted giving my dog to Charlie, but now I know how he feels when his daughter is always with Edward. Now I know how Jacob feels too. This pain and longing in your heart for anyone to just tell you they care, to hug you, but you know they won't, because either they didn't care, didn't want to, or just don't know. I don't know what to think anymore, but I need to talk to someone. I needed to clear my head of these thoughts, now. Maybe I could talk to Esme? Nah… I needed someone else.
"Helloooooo?" Alice waved her hand in front of my face, snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked up and smiled. "Just dreaming." I said. Alice shrugged.
"It doesn't really matter anymore does it?" She mocked, as Rosalie walked out of the room. I glared. "I would like to think it does. What the fuck do I do now, but to think, to imagine, and try to not commit suicide if I don't dream?" I said, looking out of the window. Alice just shrugged and chuckled dryly. She realized I wasn't thinking about that, but something else. "Don't worry. I'm sure those dogs are missing you right now." She said with a forced smile. She tried to cheer me up, but when she said dogs, she said it with venom. I nodded absent-mindly, and stood up from the couch.
Alice walked to the door, "I'm going out with Jasper, see you later!" She waved. I waved back, and walked to the front door. "Going somewhere?" Esme's voice was soft and warm. I looked up to her, as she stood, slightly hanging, over the railing.
"Yeah, just going for a walk." I said. She smiled, "Be back soon. I heard it was going to rain." I nodded. "I'll be fine with my jacket." I looked down and then looked up to Esme. "Can I talk to you when I get back?" I said, before I decided to talk to someone else. Esme nodded, and walked on.
I ran out of the door, and sped down the path until I got near the street. I looked around, and lifted my hood. I was already near Port Angeles, so I decided that I would go to the book stores. I walked in Greta's Books and browsed the shelves after the shop keeper greeted me. Some of the books had to do with the legends of wolves, which I tried to get out of my head. I didn't want to think about that.
As I was browsing the shelves, the rain started to pour. I looked and smiled. Just love the rain. As it poured down, few people came in, trying to get out of it. I looked at them, and closer to the back of the store, trying to stay out their way. I didn't want them to take me away from my books, an enjoyment…even though they weren't mine. Fucking fear. The pack was here along with Bella, Edward, and Rosalie.
Rosalie saw me, and walked back to where I was. I gave her a hard glare. Edward rushed over to me. "I know what happened." He whispered, as the pack became quiet. I stood taller and bared my teeth. "And what? You are going to make fun of me, too? Just do it, I dare you. We'll see how much damage you'll get out this one." I snarled as Bella walked up next to me. "How could they do that to you?" She asked. I looked at her then at Edward. "Shut up." I hissed, suddenly deciding I didn't want to remember. They watched us, knowing exactly what we were talking about.
"Why are you even here?" I asked. "Don't you have a car, Edward?" Edward sighed. "We were looking for you. Esme said you went out, and she began to worry. We didn't expect to find you in a book store, though." I rolled my eyes, and pushed past them. "Maybe I like to read." I said, and continued to browse the shelves, ignoring the stares. Well, duh. You have a Barbie, a pale mouse, and a bronze-hair poofy Elvis follow you in a bookstore and not get any stares.
Rosalie grunted, "Let's go, you can come back later." She said. I grabbed a random book off the shelf and gave her a raspberry. I rolled my eyes, but stopped when I saw the title of the book I was grabbing. I was speechless for a moment, as I read the title. Edward and Bella asked me if something was wrong. Well, to begin with, me. The world, us as the human race, greed, poverty… should I continue? The pack had begun talking again, but still took a few glances at me. I shook my head, "Let's go." I quickly made note of the book and put on it's shelf.
I ran outside, leaving a very surprised Edward, Bella, and Rosalie behind as I began to run in the rain, my tears mixing with the water running down my face. I tried to see if it would help cleanse me, to wash away my emotions and regrets, but no such thing. There is a reason for everything, they say.
