"So, Dr Banner, what do you think?" asked a grinning Tony. His level of casualness was better suited to talk over the weather, not breaking federal laws by spying on government agencies.
Tony had joined them at the helicarrier to help, but his definition of help was a bit more lax. He suspected the organisation was up to no good, and was hiding from them the real reasons why they had the Tesseract.
Bruce too, was not without his doubts on S.H.I.E.L.D, but had supressed his thoughts in favour of expediting his work, and getting out of the helicarrier. But Tony's words acted like a catalyst to the change that Maya was bringing in his attitude towards his role at S.H.I.E.L.D. Suddenly, it seemed more important to know why he was locating the Tesseract, than blindly locating it.
"I don't think my opinion will make a difference to your plans, Tony. I know you will unearth what you want to." Said Bruce, secretly hoping that Tony would do some research and help him to ease his own fears.
"Come on, Bruce, voice your opinions. You shouldn't keep your feelings bottled up. That's what makes you so- frustrated. That's why you run for Maya's help so often." Said Tony, chuckling at his innuendo, as he continuously typed into his screen, already well on his way to cracking the S.H.I.E.L.D's systems.
"For your information, I was coerced into taking sessions with Dr Saxena, Tony."
"Yeah, I'm sure they practically had to handcuff you with the beautiful doctor. It must be so hard on you."
"I'm not going to pretend I hate going for the sessions, but I was just saying… Oh, let it be. Your mind is always in the gutter. How does Pepper tolerate you?" said Bruce, hoping to distract Tony from the topic of Maya.
"Oh Bruce, Pepper loves my guttery mind." Said Tony, smiling a very real smile, without any hint of a smirk.
"I'm glad, for her sake." Said Bruce. It hadn't escaped his notice that, despite his playboy ways, Tony's smile was very sincere when Pepper was mentioned.
"That's the key to every man's happiness, Bruce. Finding a woman who doesn't just tolerate his quirks, but enjoys them." Said Tony, in a superior tone, like he had unlocked the secret to nirvana.
"Some men's quirks are a bit more difficult to enjoy than others, Tony"
"Some women are more than what you expect them to be, Bruce. Never forget that."
"Do you know what Moksha is?" Maya asked Bruce at their session, the next day. Today he was settled on the sofa, with Maya sitting next to him. She was wearing a yellow sundress, with golden bangles adorning her wrist, and an anklet around her right ankle. Her feet were bare.
"Moksha? Isn't it some religious concept in Hinduism?" Bruce asked.
"Yes and no. It is a concept in Hinduism. But it is also spiritual concept in several Asian cultures. It means freedom from the cycle of rebirth." elaborated Maya, crossing and uncrossing her legs.
"Freedom from rebirth?" asked Bruce. Apparently, rebirth, and having several lives was not good enough anymore.
"Yes. It is believed that a soul takes birth several thousands of times, as several creatures, and only after these lives does it get the opportunity of human birth. And in this birth, man can truly make choices, and do something so extraordinary, that his sins become insignificant, and he attains ultimate freedom." Maya spoke easily, as if she knew this like the back of her hand.
"So no hope for the ones who have sinned pretty badly?" asked Bruce, trying to keep a light tone, but feeling very interested in the subject.
"Oh, it's not like that. No sin is too big. And everyone's way of achieving moksha is different. Some do it through penance, some through meditation. There was even a story about a demon who said the name of God in his last breath, and through that simple act he attained freedom from the cycle of life and death." Maya explained.
"That doesn't seem very fair. Sucks for the people who went through years of penance. Even they should have just waited till their last breath and then just gotten it in a word." said Bruce, laughing at the flaw in the logic.
Maya smiled. "Ah, but Bruce, therein lies the difference between equality, and justice. Even uttering god's name was an epiphany for the demon. The man who meditated for many years exerted no greater an effort. But they were made differently, so they had to do different things. The most important thing was their attempt to go against the flow, against their nature and conquering the most important thing in the world- Yourself."
Bruce felt oddly calmed by her explanation. It seemed fair the way she put it. Everyone had different challenges to face. And their virtues must be judged on the basis of the burden they bore. The concept was a balm to his battered self-control. It felt nice that he was probably getting credit for his efforts to control his green urges.
"Why the discourse on moksha? Are you gonna help me achieve it, Maya?" said Bruce, his eyes crinkling in mischief.
Maya scooted right next to Bruce. "I don't think you could handle it, Bruce. You have to give up worldly desires- as they are all considered illusions to distract us- to attain Moksha. And you know what illusion is called in Hindi?"
Bruce was transfixed by both her words and her nearness. "What is it called?"
She leaned towards him and answered- "It's called Maya"
Electricity raced along Bruce's skin, and his lips tingled. She had leaned so close, that he could count her eyelashes.
"Moksha is not for me then. I can't let go of Maya" said Bruce. Maya gave him a brilliant smile. He was very aware of the precious few inches between their faces. So close, and yet the distance between them was unsurmountable. She was young, beautiful, with a destiny full of stars, while his life was a rut, an unsalvageable mess. He could close the gap between their lips, but how would he close the gap between their fates?
Moments passed, and Maya leaned back. Bruce felt the pain of wanting and never having. Unable to look at her, he glanced at his watch, and saw the time. "Well, Dr Saxena, it seems our hour is up. I think I should probably leave." said Bruce, with a heavy heart.
"Not Dr Saxena. I'm Maya. I'm always Maya for you, Bruce." said Maya, and suddenly, put her arms around him. Bruce froze. She was hugging him! And it felt like he was wrapped in heaven. Her body was soft, delicate and her hair had a light vanilla fragrance. Her arms, one around his shoulder and one around his waist, held him like he was… a treasured man. A loved man. Slowly, he put his arms around her, returning her embrace, and breathed in the scent of her hair. His body sang with the feel of her against him.
Time passed. Bruce couldn't say whether it had been hours, or moments. He felt at peace. And ironically, holding Maya in his arms, he felt like he had attained Moksha.
A/N: Isn't Bruce adorable! And too noble, if you ask me. But Maya will make her place in his heart, and his life. I was listening to this piece on the piano called "River flows in you" while writing this and the words just flowed. Hope you liked it
The parts about Moksha (pronounced Moe-kh-sh) are true. It is an actual concept in Hinduism, and is as commonly known in its culture as the concept of heaven in other cultures.
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