Multiple warnings for this chapter. I go into Rosalie's past a bit so if that is a trigger for anyone please skim ahead. Also, making use of the M rating in this chapter so yeah, there's that.
A big thank you for the reviews! Please keep them coming by all means it really does keep me motivated. I promise that the story will be finished.
There's another AN at the bottom.
Not Beta'd all mistakes are mine.
Enjoy.
I spend the remaining week at Rosalie's home. Towards the end of that week I can't help but to grow increasingly restless at my current predicament. It just seemed wrong being here somehow; as if I were intruding on a private part of her life that I had no business being in. She clearly didn't seem to think the same way. Always casually dressed and smiling at the sight of my face each morning. It made me borderline uncomfortable. Not because I saw her gestures as creepy, far from it, but because I now knew the nature of my feelings for the blonde. How could I possibly stay in her household when I contain such deep feelings of want for her?
It was unacceptable in my eyes.
And yet, I was far too cowardly to tell her how I really felt about the situation. She had met every last word when she told me that she was willing to help me and that I could lean on her as a support system. At the time, I was moved by her words and her commitment. Now, the notion terrifies me. I was not worthy of her attention and time. I was just plain old, broken, dyke, Bella. Rosalie could never know of the feelings I possess her. Undoubtable she would still let me in her home and continue to help me, but she could never return those feelings. Her actions would cease to be genuine and instead be acted out of pity.
I can't bear the thought of this.
I lay in bed on the fourth night thinking about all of this, allowing the unshed tears to prick the corners of my eyes. I level a glance at the clock the read three-twenty in the morning. As usual I couldn't sleep and spent the majority of my nights laying here with this thoughts of self-pity. I roll over in bed and begin to sob. These moments of weakness are something I had become accustomed, but didn't help curve the feeling of worthlessness that settled deep into my belly. I stay like this for a long time until a faint creek sounds off in the direction of the door.
I left my heavy head and squint with wet eyes into the distance. The door stays stationary for a long while, so long that I had convinced that what I heard was a figment of my imagination. To my dismay, the door begins to swing wider and familiar face with a mass of blonde hair pokes her head in.
I open my mouth to say something.
Nothing comes.
Instead I watch in silent astonishment how she walks further into the room and seats herself on one of the chairs located next to the bed.
After a long stretch of silence she begins to speak. "Would you like to hear a story, Isabella?" Her somber voice breaks the silence that had draped over the room. I did not trust myself to say for the sake of my sanity and pride, so I nod into her in the dark.
She chuckles after a moment. "I normally don't do this. Actually, I have never done this seeing as if it has never been necessary to share with anyone. That, and the fact that no one has ever inquired about it in the past. I will warn you that it is not a pleasant story, but it is my story. And since you have shared so much about yourself I feel that I am compelled to share a bit of me with you."
I move back slightly to try to gaze into her eyes. Her gaze faced away from me however and instead was pointed towards the window in which a little bit of the moonlight leaked in. Just enough light to, with some concentration, make out her features in the dark. I was now full of curiosity. What could she possibly have to tell me? Her mouth parts slowly before she closes it again. She swears lowly.
"Earlier, when I first met you, I may have left out a bit from the story I told you about myself. Do you know what made me become a marriage counselor?"
I shake my head in response to her question.
Another long stretch of silence passes between us. I don't dare say anything to not disturb the blonde in her silent thought. It was a rare occasion to see Rosalie become so willing to share something about her and her past. She was so cryptic at times I realize that I don't even know who she really is beyond the surface. I wipe some of the partially dried tears from my cheeks and wait quietly for her to continue.
"I had been in a relationship at the beginning of my college years. Studying Pre-med if you can believe it because I had such aspirations to be a medical doctor. That's where I met my boyfriend at the time, Royce. He was a great man, kind and so handsome. He treated me as if I were the finest thing to have ever graced the world. I was completely smitten with him." The wistful look in her eyes sends a strong pang of jealousy through me.
Ms. Hale looks at me knowingly with a small smirk spread across her face. I meet her gaze with confusion.
"This didn't last long however," she continues. "Soon he became abusive. I like to believe it was solely because of the fact that he had taken a liking to drinking. As the months went on however, it didn't matter if he was sober or intoxicated. If I misspoke, didn't complete a task, forgot to iron his tie before he went to work, he would take his anger out on me. Sometimes I didn't even need to provoke him."
The tears begin to fall from my eyes as I absorb the retelling of her horror.
"I blamed myself for a long time instead of blaming him. I thought, maybe it was something I was doing, or something I wasn't doing. Somehow, I had to keep improving myself so Royce wouldn't be mad at me anymore; so that he wouldn't hit me anymore. This carried all the way through my undergraduate, and the early part of my masters. Then something happened in the spring of my first year in grad school that changed the course of my life.
"I had been at home patiently waiting for Royce to come back home so we could go to bed together. It was rather late, but I had figured he had been out drinking with his buddies that night. Somewhere in that time I must have dozed off because when I came to, he and his companions stumbled into the home.
"I did not approve of his 'guest' at such a late hour, but I didn't speak up in fear that he would strike me. They had made their way back to the living room where I was seated and Royce gave me a sloppy smile. 'There's my beautiful fiancée' he slurred and approached me and took me up in a heated kiss. I was embarrassed at such a show in affection in front of all his friends so naturally, I tried to pull away.
"This of course angered Royce. All it took was a heavy backhand that sent me spiraling to the floor in pain. He and his friends had laughed at my feeble attempted to maintain my dignity and hide my tears. Within the midst of that, one of his friends asked if he could try me out; as if I were merely an object and not a woman."
I feel my eyes widen as the realization to what was going to happen next hit me. A silent no slipped from my lips as I frantically wiped the dampness from my eyes. Rosalie spares me a sad smile and a curt not.
"I'll spare you the details, but when Royce and all his friends finished their turns with me, they left me a bloodied, beaten mess on the floor. I truly believed that my life was going to end so tragically that night. Luckily for me, a neighbor had heard my earlier cries and had called for police who found me shortly after.
"After my long recovery time, both mentally and physically, I vowed that I would do something to help other women like myself avoid this type of abuse in their life. I studied psychology like a mad woman and when I had my degree, I immediately opened up my own business."
I wanted to reach out and hug Rosalie, but her body had become stiff and the fear of touching her inappropriately kept my hand at bay.
"I'm not telling you all of this to make you feel bad or to feel pity for me. I'm telling you this because, while our situations weren't them same, I believe that we are and were very similar in the way we think. Sometimes Isabella we must leave a bad situation before it gets worse. I know what this marriage meant to you, but I could not let you continue down that path of self-destruction for you are far more than any man defines you to be."
There was a hardness and a new found fire in her eyes as she looked at me straight on. I held her gaze, almost as if I could borrow some of her confidence and use it as my own.
"I would have never made it without my support system backing me up the entire time. You must believe me when I tell you that I am here for you. I see the way you treat yourself and Isabella I'm not going to allow you to do that to yourself anymore. You are worthy."
I duck my head away to break from her intense gaze but a firm grip brings me back to her attention. Our faces here so close that our noses were touching and I could feel her warm breath ghosting over my lips.
"I want to hear you say it," she demands.
"I am worthy," I whisper back.
Her eyes squint slightly in a way that shows her displeasure. "Say it louder."
"I am worthy."
"Louder."
"I am worthy."
"Louder!"
"I am worthy!" I shout, matching her intensity with my own. "I am worthy," I say again with some confidence this time. Pleased with my confession she releases her hold on my chin and places a kiss on my forehead. My eyes flutter close as I take the time to feel the warmth emanating off of her body.
"Don't you ever forget that," she whispers as to not disturb the silence. "Now, please get some sleep."
I watch her figure retreat from the bedside and to the door before I find my voice again. "Wait," I call out. "Is he, are they, you know," I trail off unsure of how to finish the sentence.
Rosalie looks back with a soft gaze. "Don't worry, they're all in jail now."
She closes the door after that and when I hear the soft click the lock, I lay my head back onto the pillow. Was I really worthy to have such a person into my life, who cared about me in a way almost akin to the way Jacob did when we first met? Would she turn me away like Jacob did when she finds out the true nature of my feelings for her? I think on this for a long while before I come to my conclusion. Rosalie, was not Jacob.
And I was worthy.
I rub the sleep from my eyes as I groggily come to. I shield my eyes slightly as I try to shield them from the autumn sun that filters through the thick curtain. This room that was once unfamiliar to me began to grow on me as this was the tenth day or so that I have spent at Rosalie's home. We have fallen into a comfortable routine after the late night confession in which we ate breakfast together, I saw her off for work, lounged around while she was away, greeted her with dinner when she came in, and we would normally lapse into a comfortable silent activity.
It was hard trying to pick myself up from all that has happened, but with every passing day I felt I sense of normality come to my previously hectic life. In a strange way, I felt the need of being a domestic body overcome me more and more each day. Things that I use to hate before such as cleaning, laundry, and cooking, have become an enjoyable pastime for me. Or perhaps it wasn't the activity that brought me real joy, but the satisfaction that I see it bring to Rosalie. The way her face lights up when she realizes that she has an outfit picked out for the following day, or a warm dinner waiting her as soon as she comes in from a stressful day.
As the second week at her house began to round out I began seeing part of her personality that were otherwise unknown to me. For instance, she was an immaculate person and extremely organized; almost bordering on OCD if you asked me. Everything in her home and office had a place. She even organized her closet so that her colors ranged from light to dark.
I also began to see her true range of emotions. In the past, I would rarely see any emotion past the passive façade she undertook in the office. But she had shown me her anger when she visited my home, her passion when she had spoken to me, and recently her sense of humor. It was on the seventh day I believe, I had made an extremely corny joke based off of a show we were watching. I had caught her by surprise I think because she had looked at me with a confused expression with her head cocked to the side before realization settled upon it. To my utter surprise she had thrown her head back and began to laugh uncontrollably. When she had finally calmed down her face was flushed with mirth and the leftover tears were still making there descend down her cheek.
It was one of the most beautiful sights I had ever seen.
Disturbed by the thought I had quickly added my comment on how the joke wasn't that funny and turned my attention back to screen before use; ears tinted read. She had smiled towards me with a playful gleam in her eye but said nothing otherwise.
I cracked by neck as I slowly slid out of bed and made my way to the bathroom to freshen up. It was early in the morning, but I made it a point to see her off before she left for work in the morning. It was the least I could do. Once finished, I made my way quickly down the stairs to get a pot of coffee going. Rosalie joined me soon after dressed in casual attire since it was the weekend and she was only going in to fill out some paperwork. She wore no makeup.
Even so, Rosalie's beauty was without effort.
She thanked me sincerely with promises to be back home soon.
Home.
It was word that I was no longer associating with the house I had bought with Jacob, and instead the house I was staying in with Rosalie. I was nothing but a mere guest but I couldn't help but feel deep down in my chest that this was where I really belonged.
The days eventually blended into a week, and soon weeks. Before I knew it, it had been one month since I first came here to Rosalie's house to start my 'in home' treatment of sorts. Within that time I had come to experience what it was like living without the stress of my divorce. I had put weight back on, returned to work, and have just been overall happier. A word I had thought I long forgotten. It was something about spending time in this place, with her that just brought it out of me in all the best ways.
It was on a morning that I was contemplating our friendship that she unceremoniously barges in. Luckily, it was a night in which I wore all of my clothes to bed.
"Good morning sleepy head. It's a shame you weren't asleep I would have loved to get a picture of the drool that runs down your face."
I blush a deep red. "I do not droll," I reply indignantly while I cross my arms under my chest in mock embarrassment. "Why are you teasing me so early in the morning anyway?"
I wait for Rosalie to stop giggling. "We're going out today for a special occasion."
"A special occasion? Such as?"
"That's a secret. Get up and get dressed I'll meet you downstairs."
I do as she told once she leaves me to my own bidding. Without giving me a dress code I decide to go for a pencil skirt and a loose fitting blouse with a pair of flats. Choosing to leave it down, I curl the ends of my hair and put on some very light makeup. When I make it down the stairs Rosalie meets me in a similar outfit, only in heels and a tightly wound bun.
Wordlessly she directs me to the car and seat myself into the passenger seat. She slides in the drivers seat next to me and revs the engine before peeling out of the driveway. Once again I am surprise at the speed in which the blonde drives, and spends most of the ride with my eyes closed and my teeth clenched. I stay like this for a long moment before her melodious laughter pulls me back to reality.
"We've arrived Isabella, you can release your death grip on my door now."
I attempt to roll my eyes at her antics but choose to evacuate the car as soon as possible instead. When my feet touch the ground I once again pray to any deity that I made it alive. When I finish catching my breath I take to time to actually take a look at my surroundings. To my surprise, I realize that were at an aquarium.
"Are we going here?"
"Of course. It would be a rather difficult task to watch the fish from out here," Rosalie playfully quips while she hits the 'lock' button on her car keys.
Truthfully, I have never been to an aquarium before. On one hand I felt childish watching all the children walk in excitedly with their parents, but my morbid curiosity of what was inside kept me from asking to be taken back home. Rosalie laces her fingers with mine and gently pulls me to the entrance. I blush heavily at this type of contact since she has never held my hand before.
Since going through my brief phase of depression I haven't really thought about the feelings I had for Rosalie and instead have decided to put them on the back burner in favor of trying to forget about the ordeal happening between Jacob and I. However, since I have been feeling much better, and gaining some of my life's happiness back, I couldn't help but notice that those feelings for my ex-therapist spring up again.
I shake my head to rid me from overthinking the contact that we are currently sharing through our linked hands. If Rosalie noticed me space out, she makes no indication of it as she purchases our two tickets. To my dismay, she drops my hand as she hands me my ticket so that she can purchase the guide for the building.
"What's the occasion anyway?" I ask her when she finishes up her purchases.
She waves off my question with a free hand while the other attempts to hold the map in such a way that she could see everything. "You'll figure it out later it's not that important right now. But, do you want to know what is important right now?" Rosalie turns the guide over and points to 'Tank Number 11' on the page. "One word. Dolphins."
Then without a word she turns promptly on her heel and excitedly begins to walk in that direction. Somehow, I manage to keep pace with long strides and we soon arrive to the tank in which the dolphins are held. There are only two of them out swimming, but one spots me and immediately swims over to the glass. I take a tentative step forward and place my hand on the glass and to my amazement it swims closer and places a flipper where my hand is before swimming away.
I turn to show my excitement to Rosalie, but I am stopped by the fondness I find in her eyes when we make contact. The display of such a strong emotion makes me blush but I don't avert my gaze.
"I had hoped that you enjoy this place. I've never seen you smile like that before, it's beautiful. You are quite breathtaking Isabella."
I quickly look away to hid my embarrassment at such a bold confession.
She grabs my face and redirects my gaze to her hers. She stares at me intensely for a moment before crashing her lips into mine. The action takes me off guard and when I gasp she takes the time to slip her tongue into my mouth. I moan at the contact of her smooth muscle exploring my mouth. Her right hand comes up to cup my breast softly while the left firmly grips my ass.
It was an absolute overload of feelings and I feel myself become more and more aroused at her touch. I break from our kiss and grab her left hand to bring it around to my front, and push it up my skirt. She raises and eyebrow but complies with my wordless demand. While she redirects her mouth's attention to my neck her hand begins to draw tantalizing circles on my inner thigh.
I moan in frustration before rubbing my thighs together to get some type of friction. Rosalie grunts in disapproval at my actions and roughly parts my legs with one of her own. Her hand continues to slowly make its way up before tracing me through my soaked panties.
"Rosalie," I husk. "Please stop teasing me."
"Hmm? She mumbles from a particularly sweet spot on my neck. "What do you mean Isabella?"
I bit my lip harshly to hold a wonton moan back. When I gather myself I try again. "Rosalie, I need you to touch me. Please." I'm practically whining at this point with my clit throbbing so hard it's almost painful.
"I can't touch you Isabela because it's time to wake up."
Wait.
What?
I fling my eyes open to the sudden realization that we were not at the aquarium having sex at the dolphin tank. Instead I was in my bed with a soiled pair of panties. I throw myself back onto the bed and let out a long string of curses. This day was already shaping out to be a long one.
Too embarrassed to pick up where the dream left off I slip into the shower and begin to lather up. Only then do I realize what the special event the Rosalie in my dreams was telling me about.
Today was my birthday.
Alright, admit it, how many of you guys thought that was real? C'mon, I know I got a few of you ;) This chapter was originally twice as long because I got carried away by the writing so I had to cut in in half, hence the abrupt ending.
I apologize.
Don't be angry with me please.
I did warn you guys that this would be a slow-burn relationship. I do want to drop a reminder that things are moving along but Bella's recovery was a very important step. Now with her feeling better, and that pesky Jacob (mostly) out of the picture, I wonder what Rose has planned for her birthday? ;)
