Hello again all of my lovely readers! Sorry this took a bit longer than I planned. I'm moving and, if you follow me/check my tumblr you know that this has been a… rough week. Also, speaking of tumblr, you can always check the link on my profile if I'm not updating to see why and also for playlist and cover art (I haven't posted a lot but I'll post more when life settles down next week).
Thank you guys for being so supportive and amazing!
Olivia-Ivy – Hey long time no see ;) That is a good idea, I'll put something at the end of the chapter.
Youreprettyradd – I'm glad you think so and glad you enjoy the story!
catch39 – Very true, he is going to be overjoyed when he finds out. And thank you, I hate being sick all the time.
hazu23 - :D
morbidly-funny – Thank you, glad you liked it!
I still don't own Eric or Allegiant. Can someone get on that? ;)
Chapter 8
Eric's POV
When we leave the doctor's office I am still stuck in a haze of conflicting emotions. I was terrified when I originally found out that Gidget was pregnant, and I am even more panicked right now. I was already worried that I won't be a good father, how am I going to handle two? What if I completely screw them up? What if they grow up thinking that I hate them and feeling unwanted, like I did? I know absolutely nothing about babies or diapers. What if I drop one of them?
I must be starting to show how panicked I am because Gabby squeezes my hand and when I glance over at her as we walk, she has a concerned look plastered on her face. Looking at her calms me down a little, it reminds me that we can handle this as long as we have each other. It also seems to bring the positive emotions and questions to the forefront. I promised from the beginning that I was going to take care of Gabby and our kid, I can do this. It's just one more kid.
One more mouth to feed. One more person to keep clothed and sheltered. One more chance to screw this all up. No, I was wrong, I can't do this.
"Deep breath," Gabby whispers softly as we come to a stop by the weird sculpture in the front lobby. She must be able to see the concern in my eyes, because she rests her head on my shoulder, "We can do this. We'll figure it out, even if we have to make things up as we go."
I take a deep breath and try to focus on the good things. "We can do this," I repeat, albeit rather unconvincingly.
She pulls away and smirks at me, "Well, at least the numbers are even, two against two. It could have been worse. I could be having triplets, we would be outnumbered and utterly screwed."
I chuckle, although the idea of trying wrangle three kids is completely overwhelming. She opens her mouth to say something else, but we are interrupted by a familiar voice.
"There you guys are!" Uriah shouts as he and Christina cross the lobby to meet us.
"Are you guys coming?" Christina asks, giving me a weird look.
I realize now how panicked I must look and quickly adopt my usual mask of indifference, "Coming where?"
"Zoe didn't tell you?" Uriah asks before looking at Gabby, "How long were you at the doctor for? Is everything okay?"
"Doctor?" Christina asks, giving Gabby an appraising look.
Gabby gives them a smile and nods, "Yeah, everything's good." Uriah gives her a look, like he is trying to decide whether she is lying or not. It occurs to me that I don't know who all she has told about the baby. She has been sticking to baggy clothes, usually my sweatshirts, so it hasn't been very obvious just from looking at her.
After a few more moments he seems to decide that she is telling the truth, or at least to leave the subject for another time. "Anyway, Zoe told us that they are taking a group of us up in an airplane. We have to meet them at gate C…"
He turns back to Christina with a look of concentration, trying to remember the rest of the gate number. She chuckles, "B14. Where would you be without me?"
He smirks back at her, "Gate C, apparently." She shoves his shoulder and they both laugh.
Gabby has a knowing smirk on her lips as she watches the pair banter. "I'll pass. Been there, done that," She finally replies, before turning to me, "But you should go if you want. It is really amazing, looking down from up there."
"I'll stay here with you…." I start, but she cuts me off, clearly knowing what I was about to say.
"I'll be fine. I have friends here, you don't have to worry," She says as she squeezes my hand, "I'm probably just going to go take a nap. Maybe check in at the control room to see if I can hear anything about Carl's trial."
I know that arguing with her is useless at this point, and I have to admit that it does sound exciting. It then occurs to me that she probably won't be alone. One of the perks of leadership was being able to access fear landscape data. Four is afraid of heights. "Okay, I'll go," I say, which appears to slightly deflate the pair of 16 year olds standing in front of me.
Gabby smiles at me, "Good, have fun." She stands on her tip toes and kisses me, which elicits an 'Eww, get a room' from Uriah. Gabby turns her attention back to the younger boy, smacking him in the side of the head, before smiling at him. "Stay out of trouble up there," She instructs, "No jumping from the airplane."
"Yes, mother," He replies sarcastically, "Why do you have to ruin everything?"
Christina glances at her watch, "We need to go or they're going to go without us."
The pair turn to go and after a moment I take a step forward to follow, turning and walking backward for a few steps, "Stay out of trouble."
Gabby smiles, "I'll try. Remember, if something goes wrong up there, it should be a fast death."
I smirk back at her, remember her telling me the same thing as we got in line for the zip line when she was an initiate. "You're so weird," I reply, echoing my response from last year, before jogging to catch up to the others.
XxXxXxX
I've never felt as small and insignificant as I did today. Looking down on a city that I once saw as my entire world but am now realizing is just a miniscule part of the actual world. As we get off the plane and make our way back to the main building, I can tell that Tris is hanging back as her friends hurry off to do whatever they are planning to do.
"Can I ask you something?" She asks finally, the look on her face is one of disbelief, like she can't believe she is willingly asking me a question.
"No, I don't think you can pull off short hair," I respond with a smirk, without looking at her.
She growls and mumbles, "Never mind."
I chuckle before glancing at her, "What do you want to know, Stiff?"
She takes a moment, and I don't think that she is going to ask, but finally she lets out a deep breath, "Is it weird for you, knowing that the people out here see you as damaged?"
It's a surprisingly personal question, it takes me a moment to decide how to answer. "No," I reply finally with a shrug, "But I am used to people seeing me in a negative way, hating me. To be honest, after all I've done for the sake of saving our way of life back in the city, and more importantly for the sake of protecting my family, I don't think anyone could hate me as much as I hated the person I became." It's quite possibly the most honest thing I have ever said to anyone except for Gabby, and I have no idea why I said it. I feel the urge to try to discredit all of what I just said, to say something sarcastic or cruel. Instead I find myself finishing the thought, "The only opinion I care about is Gabby's and I know that she doesn't see me differently because I'm not divergent."
She thinks this over for a minute before stopping just before the stairs that lead back into the building, "So it doesn't bother you that Gabby is divergent and you aren't?"
I turn and study her for a moment, "Why are you asking? I can't see you taking this much of an interest in my opinions, especially when you and Eaton are both divergent. Unless…"
I trail off, not needing to actually ask the question because the look on her face is confirmation enough. "He found out this morning," She confirms after a moment, "I just don't understand why it's such a big deal."
I let out a snort, moving to sit on the steps, "Of course you don't."
"What's that supposed to mean?" She asks defensively.
"You were just told that you're special, like everyone for the last few months has been telling you." I take a deep breath, "As much as I have hated Four for the last two years, I can at least understand why this sucks for him. He's spent the last two years being told that he was special and had people basically begging him to accept more power because of it. Now he's being told that he isn't special anymore, he's broken and a big part of the thing that made him unique is gone."
She is looking at me with something between shock and confusion, "That was surprisingly insightful."
I smirk, "Yeah, well don't tell anyone, the last thing I need is people wanting to talk to me all the time."
"I don't think you'll have to worry about that," She replies.
I look back at the plane for a few moments before looking back at the younger girl, "Gabby's is the only opinion I care about. I could not possibly care less what the rest of you think about me, and I know that she doesn't look at me any differently now than she did when before she knew what being divergent meant."
"Tobias knows that I love him and I don't care what his genes say," She replies, crossing her arms across her chest.
I fight to hold back a sarcastic remark, "Even so, all you can really do is make sure that he does know that, and try to help him accept that he's still the same person."
She shakes her head, "Have they been drugging you with Amity serum?"
I shake my head, "No, but if you try to tell anyone else about this conversation I will deny that this ever happened." I smirk down at my feet for a moment, "I guess I'm going to have to get used to the whole giving serious advice thing now, that's what dads are supposed to do."
This is exactly why I don't let my guard down and have serious conversations. As soon as the words leave my mouth I want to take them back, and for a fleeting moment I think that she hasn't noticed, but life doesn't work that way. "Dad?"
I take a deep breath and run a hand through my hair. I look back at her a few seconds later and nod, "I guess I figured Four told you already."
"Four already knew?" She asks.
"Yeah, he found out when we got you and Gabby out of Erudite," I reply, "Although, if he didn't tell you I'm sure that it's because Gabby made him promise not to tell anyone."
She nods, staring at me for a moment, "I can't picture you with a kid."
Screw it. Why not just go all in as long as I'm already having an entirely too personal conversation with a person I don't usually talk to? Or particularly like for that matter. "Two," I say with a sigh, holding up two fingers.
"Oh, wow that's…" She trails off.
"Yeah," I reply with a chuckle "We both got unexpected news this morning."
"If she's far enough along for them to tell that, she would have been pregnant when Jeanine was…"
I nod once she trails off and she gets a sickened look on her face. "Jeanine and that bastard of a brother of yours."
I expect her to defend him, but she doesn't. "Is she okay?" She asks, a faraway look in her eyes.
"Yeah, they're all fine now," I reply, pulling myself back up to my feet. "Speaking of Gabby though, I need to go find her." I start up the steps, but pause at the top, "Remember, this conversation never happened."
I hear her chuckle, "What conversation?"
"See you around, Stiff," I add before walking through the door.
So let me know what you thought of this chapter. I know it was a little ooc but I hope you guys still liked it. And ruwaydahzara I know this isn't exactly what you meant (and it's not what I intended) but my brain does its own thing sometimes…
***Read me*** - So I am going to take suggestions for baby names and pick my two favorites. At least one name has to have Jess in it and you have until Friday night. You can review, PM me here, or send me an ask on tumblr.
I am also going to post the first chapter of a Divergent prequel I've been working on tonight, hopefully. It's Eric centric and starts a year before his initiation. If it sounds like your kind of story check it out.
I will talk to you guys soon, I should have another short chapter up before Friday.
