Let's make a list:
➝I suck at updates: True.
➝I am really sorry: True.
➝I wish this story was over already so I could make you all happy: True.
➝This story has approximately 6 chapters left: True.
➝The next couple chapter will have some dark themes; nothing to violent though. Not suggested for younger viewers: True. (You guys are all teens, right?)
➝This chapter will be in 3rd person point of view for 2 reasons: 1) I am better at writing 3rd person than I am at writing 1st person, and 2) I feel like it needs to be in order to capture all the emotions.
➝I love all you guys, you are truly spectacular: True.
Chapter 11
3RD PERSON POV
Cammie Morgan sat in her hospital room, contemplating when her life started to crash and burn. She guesses it all started when she met Josh – if he had never come into her life, she wouldn't have lost him. The fact that he's no longer on this earth bothers her, and she can't figure out why. She knows its her fault that he no longer lives, and it bugs her that she won't be able to see him ever again. She'll never see him smile, she'll never get to kick his butt in spy training, she'll never get to hear him laugh.
Do you ever wish that you could turn back time and have one last conversation with someone you lost? That's how Cammie felt. She wanted to go back to the day he came to Gallagher academy and tell him she missed him. She didn't want to almost faint and have to have Zach drag her upstairs. Although that did happen to be one of her best memories...only that was before Paris. Now, thinking back on that day, she wants to cry. One of her most cherished memories, tinged with darkness and sadness. She didn't know what to say when someone asked her how she was feeling or how she was coping with the loss of Josh. Many knew he was one of her best friends; they knew she took his death hard. Maybe now life would go on like before...Pre-Josh.
What a depressing thought.
Cammie heard, more than watched the door to her room creak open. Zach limped in - he had sprained his ankle - and told her to turn on the T.V. to channel 74. She obliged and grabbed the remote that was attached to the hospital bed. On the screen, a box popped up tht required a code of sorts.
"Enter 1-8-5-9-3," Zach told her, whispering.
She did so.
"Good morning, Gallagher academy and visitors," came the crackly voice of her mother on the television. "As you all must know, my daughter and seven other students were involved in a staged mission gone wrong..."
"It was staged?" Cammie asked, whispering as well.
"Mhm," Zach answered.
"...And 2 of these students, Joshua Abram and Elizabeth Sutton, were shot," a collective gasped rang throughout the hall, "And Joshua did not make it." More gasps. Some crying.
"Elizabeth is expected to make a full recovery. Cameron Morgan and Zachary Goode are also expected to make a full recovery." Cammie was crying by this point. "We will have a memorial service for Joshua when the 6 other students return from France." She paused, wiping her eyes. "Thank you."
Cammie couldn't help it; she lost it. She turned to Zach, vision blurred by tears, and started screaming. She told him that she was angry with herself. She said she hated herself. She started to pull at her hair as if the pain would make it better. Zach gripped her arms and brought them above his head. Cammie was struggling to get free, but he was too strong. Everything in this life would always overpower her. She'd always be small and insignificant in the world. She gave up and collapsed into his chest, sobbing.
"It's all my fault," she whispered.
"It's not, it's really not," Zach replied.
"If I hadn't fallen...," Cammie sighed.
"You'd probably be dead right now, a bullet wound right through your chest," Zach knew he was right.
"That might've been better."
"Cammie," Zach whispered.. Her eyes stayed locked on the chair across the room. "Cammie!" He said more forcefully, shaking her shoulders. She cringed, wishing the words hadn't slipped out. "Cammie, don't think like that. Whatever happens, happens. It's not your fault he wanted to save you." He couldn't even say his name.
"Please, take me to see Liz," Cammie pleaded. "Please."
"We'll finish this later."
Cammie was rolled into Liz's room, where she was recovering from her surgery. She was weak, too weak to move, and couldn't really talk because the surgeons had to put a tube down her throat to keep her breathing. Another person Cammie could have lost. Another person she might've never seen again. Another laugh she could've lost. One more mistake she could have made.
"Liz, I'm sorry."
"Cam? Why are you sorry?" Liz rasped.
"I'm such a horrible person. If I hadn't....if you...Josh....he's gone, Liz and I miss him and it's all my fault." Cammie was mumbling.
"Why is it your fault?" More rasping. Cammie cringed.
"Because, if I hadn't fallen then he'd still freaking be here!"
"Did you choose to fall?" Liz was oddly calm.
"No, of course not. Who would choose to fall off the Eiffel Tower? A suicidal person? Ha. Very funny."
"Then, he didn't choose to die. Think about it this way: Clearmont was a demented psycho. He shot me," Cringe, "and back you up to the very edge of the top of the Eiffel Tower. He chose to do that. He intended to shoot you." Cringe. "Now, Josh chose to save you from plummeting to your death," Cringe. Must she be so blunt? "So, in turn, he died. He chose to save you so he had to pay the consequences. His decision. Don't think it's your fault, cos it's not."
"But...,"Cammie started. Liz cut her off.
"No buts."
"I love you Liz." Cammie thanked her friend.
"Love you, too," She nodded, "Now get back to lover-boy. I bet he's worried."
"Thanks," And with that, Cammie left Liz to talk to Jonas.
~%~
Longest chapter ever, I think.
Took me 45 minutes to write this. My mom is making me get off the computer now.
I think I might write the rest of the story in 3rd person then go back and put the first ten chaps in 3rd person as well. What do you think?
Who do you wish you could turn back time for?
