Ain't got much time, soo...
REVIEWAH WORSHIP!
queenphoenix: OO -sobs-
Evil Twins INC: Thank you and thank you!
Fuery-ous Coffee!
Havoc cringed as Ed walked into the office.
"Uh, Ed?"
"Mmngh... yuh?"
"What are you wearing?"
Ed blinked, slowly and sleepily. "Uh... black tank top, red overcoat, leather pants, and gloves?"
Havoc sighed and shook his head. Pulling up a chair to the cafeteria's table, he said, "Sit down."
Ed sat.
Havoc placed a mirror in front of Ed.
Ed looked at the mirror fuzzily. "Mnnrgh?"
Havoc sighed. It couldn't be helped. He'd have to give Ed... the CAIN FUERY COFFEE OF DOOOM!
Yes, that's right, ladies, Cain Fuery brews a mean pot! He is said to have awakened the dead- namely, one rather decayed Maes Hughes- with the very FUMES of this wondrous brew! When asked about his secret, Cain blushes deeply and murmurs something about all-natural milk, whereupon Jean Havoc laughs mightily!
So, anyway, Havoc obtained some of this magical coffee (making sure to keep his nose away from the steam) and placed it in front of Ed's nose.
Ed blinked, inhaled deeply, and yawned. "Mmm... mrghl?"
Havoc gasped. This was surely a strong slumber!
There was no help for it. The coffee.. must be... DRUNK! (dun dun dunnn...)
"Okay, Ed, now it's time to drink the coffee, all right?"
By this time, this strange tableau had attracted quite a crowd. Indeed, the only one missing was Colonel Mustang, who had been instructed by Hawkeye not to leave the room on pain of death. Naturally, Taisa was not eager to the slaughter, so he remained in his office. Whether he was workin' hard or hardly workin' was yet to be determined.
Cain was frightened. He was the only person in the world who could drink his coffee without bouncing off the walls and screaming strange things at the top of his lungs for periods lasting up to a week! "Havoc! What're you doing? That's my special bre-"
"NO, Ed, no it's not. It, it, it's my coffee, it's not strong at all! Now drink it up, kay?"
He drew Cain aside, and whispered, "LOOK AT HIS SHIRT!"
Cain looked, blushed deeply, and then recovered enough composure to say, "Uh, umm, umm... that's right, drink up!"
(By this time, everyone had noticed the shirt. Oh, what hilarity! they could hardly contain their giggles.)
Ed blinked, slowly sleepily.
Havoc was sweating with anxiety. Would he fall for it?
Ed mumbled, "mrrgh... m'kay..."
YES!
Ed tipped the coffee up to his lips...
There was a group gasp. What was Ed thinking?
Ed opened his lips...
MORE group gasping! I say! Gasp GASP!
...and drank the whole thing down.
SILENCE.
Ed was already waking up visibly. He put down the cup, looked in the mirror...
a look of utter horror crossed his face...
and he screamed, "RRRRRROOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYOUBASTARD!.!.!.!.!"
FLASH!
(What was that flash about?)
Of course, Roy wasn't completely stupid. He'd barricaded his door with plenty of reinforced concrete, far too much for any one man to transmute. So, he belly laughed with impunity! "HAHAHAHAHAAAH!"
BUT! Twenty tons of reinforced concrete are NO MATCH for... EDWARD ELRIC ON SUPER-CAFFEINE!
Maes Hughes, sometime later, fished a small piece of paper out of a pool of chemicals. There, on the photograph, was Edward Elric, surging out of his seat, with one phrase on his shirt clearly visible in the mirror:
!eM tseloM
"I caught it all... ON FILM! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAH!"
His nose fell off into the tray.
Hughes winced. "Dammit! Not again...
--whoa OO That was STUPID--
Me: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAH!
MP: -unleashes evil voodoo-
Me: And again, I say: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAH-
Pichi Wo's Nose (which rhymes, btw): -falls off-
Me: OWW! That hurt!
MP: You did it to Hughes.
Me: Yeah, well, his flesh is rotting, so it doesn't hurt!
Hughes: -attempting to reattach nose to face- You know what? FUCK YOU.
