Chapter 11 – For better or for worse

The next morning

When Elliot enters the precinct this morning, he feels exhausted. He stayed awake all night long with Olivia (not the way he wanted but would never admit it) and the night has indeed been very long. He greets his colleagues, sits quickly hoping that Cragen didn't notice he was late, and turns his computer on. He gives a look at Olivia's empty chair wondering why she isn't here yet and thinks for himself that after the night they spent, she probably fell asleep after he left. He picks his phone, dials her number that he knows by heart and hangs up when he hears her familiar voicemail after the third ring.

Fin comes to Elliot's desk and Elliot jumps when he sees him next to him. "Wow! Do you want to give me a heart attack?" he says.

"Sorry." Fin says, not sorry at all. "Do you have Derick's confessions report? I don't find it in the file and Cragen wants me to transfer it to the feds. Said they needed it for their own case…"

Elliot, distracted by Olivia's arrival babbles "Huh what? A report?"

"Yeah, Derick's confessions report" Fin repeats annoyed.

"Oh hum yeah I got it… somewhere. Give me a sec" Elliot answers, quickly moving everything on his desk to find this report, but still keeping an eye on Olivia. She looks even more tired than he is.

"Hurry up please" Fin says impatiently. "Cragen wants it for yesterday. He's in bad mood today. Any idea what's goin' on?"

"Hum, no" Elliot answers wanting as much as Fin to know what's going on. He wanted to ask Olivia last night but didn't get the chance.

Meanwhile Olivia tries to sit and turn on her computer, as discreetly as she can. Her head is pounding. She grimaces and massages her temples. Too much light. Too much noises. She has a headache and it's only 8am. 'Damn hangover!' She thinks. While Fin waits that Elliot finds his file, he gives Olivia a funny look.

"Huh Liv?" Fin says, frowning.

"Yeah Fin?" Olivia answers as casually as possible, but she well knows why he looks at her this way.

"You got something on your forehead" Fin states cautiously.

"Yeah I know. That's called stitches". Olivia gives Elliot a furtive look that doesn't go unnoticed by Munch who quickly raised his head as he heard the word "stitches".

"What happened? What did you do?" Much asks Elliot.

Elliot just answers "nothing". He knows that Olivia doesn't want to talk about it and respects that. If it was him, he wouldn't want to talk about it either.

"Just because you're no longer best buddies, doesn't mean you can hurt her" says Munch reproachfully.

Fin crosses his arms and states as a warning "I'm sure he didn't. He knows he'd have to walk on my dead body first, right?"

Olivia first found Munch and Fin cute for being protective toward her, but now she feels that they're getting angry with Elliot and tries to calm them down. "Hey it's okay guys, he did nothing. We're okay."

Olivia hears Cragen's door opening and shivers. She sees her captain appearing at the threshold of his office with a dark look. "Benson! My office! Now!" he yells and goes back to his desk.

Olivia stands up and gives Elliot a worried look. He gives her a supportive smile even if he still doesn't know what's happening.

"What's goin' on here?" Fin inquires.

"Liv, it was nice working with you. I'll bring flower to your funeral" Munch jokes, not aware of the seriousness of the situation.

Olivia doesn't smile at John's joke, too anxious about the conversation she's gonna have with her captain/maybe soon ex-captain. She enters the office looking at the floor and closes the door behind her. She doesn't have time to sit that Cragen is already yelling at her. "What the hell was on your mind detective when you decided to beat and threaten a civilian? You want to lose your job? You want to work on the traffic? You want me to arrest you?" he asks quickly, forgetting to breath.

Olivia answers quietly "I wasn't thinking I just… reacted. This guy makes me sick. And I never beat him! I just pushed him a bit."

"Yeah, yeah, so what are these stitches for?" Cragen asks pointing her forehead.

"This has nothing to do with-" she tries to explain.

"And I guess you didn't threaten him either? You just had a little chat around a coffee?" Cragen asks sarcastically.

"I did threaten him" Olivia admits "but this pig-"

"Has been acquitted!" Cragen cuts her off. "No, you have no excuse for what you did, detective! Trust me you're very lucky to keep your badge! You would be unemployed today if I hadn't spent half of my night saving your ass and pleading for your case to the IAB. Tucker wanted your head!"

"Thanks Cap, I-" Olivia tries.

"Don't, Olivia." Cragen cuts off again. He stands up, opens the door to indicate her that the discussion is over. Olivia stands up too and leaves the office.

"Now put your ass on your desk and do something more useful than fighting with perps!" he yells. The all squad is watching them now in a religious silence. "You're on desk duty 'til I say otherwise and I don't want to see you near a victim or a perp! Have I made myself clear?" he doesn't wait for an answer, goes back to his office and slams the door.

Olivia leans back uncomfortably to her chair, feeling everybody looking at her. She wishes she could disappear in a mouse's hole.

Worrying about his partner, Elliot asks whispering "Liv?"

She turns her eyes to his direction, making him understand that she heard him.

Elliot asks still whispering "You wanna talk?"

She shakes her head 'no' trying to ignore the mist on her eyes. If she talks right now, her voice will break down. She opens her desk and picks a file randomly just the time to compose herself. When the squad slowly return to their activities she starts feeling better, sighs and stores the file on her desk.

She gets up and Elliot, alarmed, quickly asks "where you goin'?"

"File room" Olivia answers.

She comes back 10 minutes later in better shape than she was since she entered the squad room this morning, arms full of files. She places the files on her desk and starts working ardently. She decided that even if she was on desk duty, she would give the best of herself. Sooner she shows how hard she works, sooner Cragen will forget or at least forgive her mistake and allow her to work on the field again.

By the end of the day, half of the files that were on Olivia's desk were updated. She didn't expect to do so much but being lectured by her Captain in front of her colleagues gave her energy she never suspected to have. Elliot and Olivia were the only one left in the precinct and after Elliot turned his computer off he says "I'll finish that tomorrow. I'm going home. You want a ride?"

"No thanks El" Olivia answers not leaving her file. "I'm not done here. I'll sleep in the crib."

"You sure?" Elliot tries again, not wanting to let her pretend she would sleep when he knows she will just keep working all night. "You need to rest after, well… yesterday. Those papers will still be on your desk tomorrow you know."

"Yeah but… I need to keep working." Olivia states, not wanting to bring the "yesterday" topic.

"Ok then. See you tomorrow" Elliot says walking to the elevator.

"El?" Olivia calls before Elliot entered the elevator.

Elliot turns around "Yes?"

Olivia turns her chair to face him and asks "What did you hear?"

Elliot sighs knowing Olivia won't appreciate the answer. "…Enough. Something about you beating a perp, working on traffic, and being arrest. And something about fucking IAB wanting your head."

"Well that's not exactly… never mind. See you tomorrow. I'll bring coffee" she winks at him.

But Elliot is not fooled and walks back to Olivia. He moves her files and sits on her desk. "What is it Liv?" he asks. "What happened? I mean… Yesterday night and today."

Olivia takes a deep breath and sighs not knowing where to start. "You know I went to court yesterday?"

"Yes. It was about a case you closed with Fin last week while I was on a conference" Elliot answers. Even if they weren't talking to each other lately, Elliot still kept an eye on her even if Olivia didn't know that.

"Yeah. Well the trial didn't go well. Yesterday I went to the perp's house and I got mad at him and threatened him. So he called Cragen and today I almost lost my job. The bastard said that I beat him."

"What about last night?" Elliot tries knowing he was on a dangerous road.

Olivia gives him a dark look and says "You know what happened, you were there too".

"I only know what happened while I was with you." Elliot states. "I don't know what happened before."

"I don't wanna talk about it" Olivia says avoiding his gaze.

"Ok…" Elliot stands up and makes his way out of the squad room. He stops at the door and says "You know Liv, if Cragen or Tucker try to fire you, they will find me chained to their desk until they think otherwise."

Olivia smiles at him gratefully. "What if they don't think otherwise?"

"Then they'll find my resignation on their desk. No way that I work here without you. You're my partner. We're El and Liv for better or for worse. I don't work with anyone else."

It sounds like apologies and Olivia suddenly feels the weight she had over her shoulder for 3 weeks now disappear in less than a second. Without thinking and moved by his words, she walks to him and gives him a hug. Unlike the last hug she gave him 2 months ago, now she was the one who needed it. She feels good in his arms and doesn't want to let him go. She can feel his strong arms around her and that's exactly what she needs right now. She feels a single tear dropping and breaks the hug. She smiles at him and Elliot puts a hand on her cheek to remove the tear. Brown meets blue, Olivia leans to Elliot, kisses him on the cheek right next to his mouth, and leans back.

She says softly "Thanks El" and makes her way to the crib, leaving Elliot alone with his thoughts.